731 lines
37 KiB
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731 lines
37 KiB
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<h1>The Barber</h1>
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Episode 72</p>
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<p>Transcribed by: Matt Dittloff</p>
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<p>Cast:</p>
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<p>Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry Seinfeld (well, duh!)</p>
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<p>George Castanza - Jason Alexander</p>
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<p>Elaine Benes - Julia Louis-Drefus</p>
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<p>Kramer - Michael Richards</p>
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<p>Guest Stars: </p>
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<p>Enzo - Anthony Ponzini </p>
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<p>Gino - David Ciminello </p>
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<p>Mr. Pensky - Michael Fairman </p>
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<p>Mr. Tuttle - Jack Shearer </p>
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<p>Mike - Kenny Myles </p>
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<p>Clarisse - Peggy Maltby </p>
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<p>Customer - David Richardson </p>
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<p>----------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
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<p>Mr. Tuttle: Well George we here at Sanalac like to think of ourselves
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as a fairly progressive company. We</p>
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<p>have a small but prestigious group of clients.</p>
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<p>George: Well a lot of people consider me small and prestigious.</p>
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<p>Mr. Tuttle: That's funny George. You're very quick. I feel like
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I, like I don't have to explain every little</p>
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<p>thing to you. You understand everything immediately.</p>
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<p>George: I enjoy understanding.</p>
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<p>Mr. Tuttle: I want you to have this job. Of course...</p>
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<p>Secretary: Mr. Zimmer is on line 2.</p>
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<p>Mr. Tuttle: Thanks. I've got to take this call. Listen, I'm really
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glad that you came in.</p>
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<p>(commercial)</p>
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<p>At Monk's</p>
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<p>George: I want you to have this job. Of course...</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah?</p>
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<p>George: That's it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: What do you mean that's it?</p>
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<p>George: He never finished the sentence. He got a call, that was
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the end of the interview.</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Of course" was the last thing he said?</p>
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<p>George: Maybe he was going to say "Of course I have to check
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with my associates."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "I want you to have this job, of course the Board
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of Directors is under indictment and will be</p>
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<p>serving time."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "I want you to have this job, of course sodomy is a
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prerequisite."</p>
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<p>George: All right.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Why don't you go ahead and call him?</p>
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<p>George: Because he made a big deal about how I understand everything
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immediately. That's what</p>
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<p>impressed him.</p>
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<p>Jerry: So if you call and ask if you have the job, you might lose
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the job.</p>
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<p>George: And if I don't call...</p>
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<p>Jerry: You might have the job, but you'll never know it. What kind
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of company is it?</p>
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<p>George: Rest stop supply.</p>
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<p>Kramer comes in and sits down.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, hey.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Shower?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Haircut.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Who'd you use? Gino?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Oh course. I wouldn't let that other butcher cut my hair.</p>
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<p>Elaine: What butcher?</p>
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<p>Kramer: The uncle Enzo. That's the guy Jerry uses.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well I've been going with him for 12 years. I can't switch.
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I'd hurt his feelings.</p>
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<p>Elaine: You never get good haircuts.</p>
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<p>Kramer: You can get a good one today. It's Enzo's day off. Gino's
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there all by himself.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Really?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah. You know what, you should go over there and get one
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to look good for my bachelor</p>
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<p>auction.</p>
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<p>Kramer: What bachelor auction?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh it's a thing where they auction off dates with bachelors
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for charity.</p>
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<p>Kramer: And you didn't ask me to do it? I could raise enough money
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to cure polio.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I believe they've had a cure for polio for quite some time.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Polio?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Will you go ahead? You need a haircut.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Okay.</p>
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<p>Kramer: What are you all dressed up for?</p>
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<p>George: I had a job interview.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Yeah. How'd it go?</p>
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<p>George: Good. Of course...</p>
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<p>At the barber shop</p>
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<p>Enzo: Oh Jerry.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh hi Enzo.</p>
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<p>Enzo: Oh, you've come for the haircut.</p>
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<p>Jerry: No, actually I was just...</p>
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<p>Enzo: It's my day off, but I take care of you anyway because you're
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my favorite customer. You've been </p>
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<p>with me for so long. You're so loyal.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well I, if it's your day off I really... (tries to leave)</p>
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<p>Enzo: (He pulls Jerry into the barber chair. Jerry is trying to
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get away but can't.) Eh, what's the difference.</p>
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<p>It takes 10 minutes. Jerry, today I'm going to do something special
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for you.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well I don't want to take too much off.</p>
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<p>Enzo: Hey who's your barber, eh? You tell the joke, I cut the hair.</p>
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<p>Man: Gino, you've outdone yourself this time. This is the best
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haircut I've ever had.</p>
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<p>At Jerry's apartment.</p>
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<p>Jerry is sitting down on the couch with a really bad haircut. He
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is holding a mirror. Jerry and George are </p>
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<p>looking in disbelief at the haircut.</p>
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<p>George: He massacred you. You look like you're five years old.</p>
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<p>Jerry: What if I shampoo? Sometimes a shampoo helps.</p>
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<p>George: You've got to start seeing someone else. Get out of this
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relationship.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I can't. He loves me. He says I'm his most loyal customer.
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Plus he's right there on the corner. I'd</p>
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<p>have to pass him every day when I go by.</p>
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<p>George: You gotta do it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I can't, I can't. I'd break his heart.</p>
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<p>Kramer enters. He flinches when he sees the haircut.</p>
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<p>Kramer: No way my Gino did that. It's an Enzo.</p>
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<p>Jerry: He did the job. You told me he wasn't going to be there.</p>
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<p>Kramer: So what?</p>
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<p>Jerry: I didn't want to hurt his feelings.</p>
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<p>Kramer: His feelings? You can't continue seeing him. You're destroying
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yourself. I'm not going to let </p>
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<p>you. If you don't call him I will.</p>
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<p>Jerry: No Kramer. I don't want you to do that. You can't do that.</p>
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<p>Kramer: I'm going to call Gino, you're going to see him, and we're
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going to get that haircut fixed up.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I don't want you to call him.</p>
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<p>Kramer: All right, geez. You're crazy.</p>
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<p>Kramer leaves.</p>
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<p>George: So I still haven't heard about that job.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah that's a tough one. What are you going to do about
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that?</p>
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<p>George: I have an idea.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah?</p>
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<p>George: I show up.</p>
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<p>Jerry: What do you mean you show up?</p>
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<p>George: I show up. I pretend I have the job. The guy's on vacation.
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If I have the job, it's fine. If I don't</p>
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<p>have the job, by the time he comes back, I'm ensconced.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hmm. Not bad.</p>
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<p>George: What's the worst thing that could happen?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a
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large group of people and have to walk out</p>
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<p>in shame with your tail between your legs.</p>
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<p>George: Yeah, so?</p>
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<p>At the office.</p>
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<p>George: (to various people as he walks in) Good morning. Good morning.
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Good morning. Hi nice to see</p>
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<p>you. How are you. Good morning. (to the secretary) Good morning.</p>
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<p>Secretary: How can I help you?</p>
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<p>George: The name's George Constanza. I'm starting work here today.
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I was wondering if you could tell</p>
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<p>me where my office is.</p>
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<p>Secretary: I wasn't aware that, uh, Mike, this is George Constanza.
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He's starting here today.</p>
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<p>Mike: Welcome aboard.</p>
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<p>George: Thanks Mike. Nice to be aboard.</p>
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<p>Mike: I wasn't aware that Mr. Tuttle was finished interviewing.</p>
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<p>George: Oh, well, he was probably just getting anxious to start
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his vacation.</p>
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<p>Secretary: He wants to know where his office is.</p>
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<p>Mike: Oh, ah, let's see, we've got two. There's a big one down
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the hall there and a small one over here.</p>
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<p>You know I should ask Jack.</p>
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<p>George: Oh leave Jack alone. Jack's got enough problems. I'll just
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take the small office.</p>
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<p>Mike: Really?</p>
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<p>George: Yes. I like to feel cozy. I have a very small apartment.
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I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love</p>
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<p>to be nestled.</p>
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<p>Mike: All right, it's 808 right down there. Meanwhile, I'll get
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you the Pensky file, you can start working on that.</p>
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<p>George: Yes, yes of course. The Pensky file. Ho ho, can't wait
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to sink my teeth into that. Wow that </p>
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<p>Pensky. Well we'll straighten him out.</p>
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<p>George walks into his office. He sets down his briefcase and coat
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and sits down. He quickly flips through</p>
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<p>the folder, then drops the folder on his desk with a big thud.</p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>Camera shot at the clock on his wall. The clock says 9:00.</p>
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<p>A moment later, the clock flips to 5:00.</p>
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<p>George puts the folder in his briefcase. He picks up the briefcase
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and his coat and he walks out.</p>
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<p>At Monk's. Jerry is wearing a baseball cap.</p>
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<p>Jerry: So what did you do there all day?</p>
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<p>George: They gave me the Pensky file.</p>
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<p>Jerry: So it's a nice place to work?</p>
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<p>George: You know I'm enjoying it very much. I think my coworkers
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are really taking to me. </p>
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<p>*flashback* (a white fuzzy border is around the TV screen)</p>
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<p>George: (continuing) I feel like a family. In fact, yesterday was
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Grace's birthday. She's such a sweet </p>
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<p>woman so, we had a little party, with cake and champagne. I made
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a toast.</p>
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<p>*end flashback*</p>
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<p>Jerry: What about your boss? The guys you interviewed you?</p>
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<p>George: He'll be back on Monday.</p>
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<p>Elaine enters and sits down.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hi.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Hi. How come you're wearing a hat?</p>
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<p>Jerry: I got a haircut.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh yeah? Can I see it?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh there's nothing to see.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Come on. Let me see it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Forget it.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Come on.</p>
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<p>Jerry: All right.</p>
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<p>Jerry takes off his baseball cap. Elaine bursts out laughing. George
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starts laughing. Jerry rolls his eyes in</p>
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<p>the air. Elaine and George are still laughing. George pounds his
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fist on the table.</p>
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<p>Elaine: (still laughing, tears in her eyes) I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well I'll tell you this, you can forget about me going to
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that bachelor auction.</p>
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<p>Elaine: What? No Jerry, you have to go.</p>
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<p>George: You know Elaine, I'd do it but I'm working that day.</p>
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<p>Elaine: (dryly) Yeah, too bad.</p>
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<p>At the barber shop. Gino is giving Kramer a shave.</p>
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<p>Kramer: It the worst haircut Jerry's ever had. You gotta fix it.</p>
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<p>Gino: Sure, I fix it. But you gotta make sure you no tell anybody.
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He's a little crazy. I don't know what</p>
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<p>he'd do if he found out I touch Jerry's hair. (Enzo enters) So
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I love the Edward Scissorhands. That's the </p>
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<p>best movie I've ever seen.</p>
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<p>Enzo: Oh ah, again with the Edward Scissorhands. How can you have
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hand like scissors, huh? Show me</p>
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<p>one person who's got hand like scissors.</p>
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<p>Gino: Hey, it's a beautiful dream. I'd love to be this man.</p>
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<p>Enzo: Did you ever think about what you're going to do on the toilet?
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(yelling) What are you going to do</p>
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<p>on the toilet?</p>
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<p>Kramer: I'd like to have shoehorn hands.</p>
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<p>At Monk's.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Okay listen to me. I talked to Gino, he's going to fix
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the haircut.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh great, then you can go to the bachelor auction.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah, but how am I...</p>
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<p>Kramer: No buts. His apartment tonight, Eight o'clock.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Can he fix it?</p>
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<p>Kramer: I don't know.</p>
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<p>At Gino's apartment.</p>
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<p>Gino: Boy, you've got a beautiful head of hair.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Thank you.</p>
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<p>Gino: I bet uncle Enzo, he tell you that all the time.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well actually Enzo hasn't said that to me in a while.</p>
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<p>Gino: I don't think uncle Enzo realize what a lucky barber he is.</p>
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<p>Jerry: That's nice of you to say.</p>
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<p>The buzzer buzzes.</p>
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<p>Gino: Just a second. Yes.</p>
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<p>Enzo: (over the speaker) It's your uncle Enzo.</p>
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<p>Gino: It's Uncle Enzo. Go in there. I'll clean up.</p>
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<p>"The Barber of Seville" music is playing.</p>
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<p>Gino picks up the chair and puts it into the closet. He picks up
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a broom and sweeps some hair into the next</p>
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<p>room.</p>
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<p>*knock, knock, knock*</p>
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<p>Gino opens the door.</p>
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<p>Gino: Uncle Enzo, what are you doing here?</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: I've come to apologize.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: Apologize?</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Yes. I rented the move Edward Scissorhands. That Johnny Depp,
|
|
he make me cry.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: He make me cry too. You want something to drink?</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Hey, what's all of this?</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: Nothing. It's just hair.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: You do haircut in the apartment?</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: No. Pizza man was here. Maybe some fall off. He's going bald.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: It looks very familiar.</p>
|
|
<p>(commercial)</p>
|
|
<p>At Jerry's apartment.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: In the one minute he worked on me I could tell he was really
|
|
good.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Yeah. Slow, gentle, attentive. I told you he could do it.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Enzo picked up one of my hairs off the floor.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Yeah, so?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I think he knew.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: No. He doesn't know.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Who do you know? He knows my hair.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Listen you're just imagining things. He doesn't know a
|
|
thing. Now come on. Pull yourself </p>
|
|
<p>together.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Okay, okay.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine enters.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: What happened? It looks the same.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: He didn't get to finish it. His uncle came in. We almost
|
|
got caught.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Jerry, the auction is in a few hours.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Take the K-man.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You can still go.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: What are you kidding? Look at him. He's grotesque.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You think?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Do I think? He's repugnant.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine fiddles with the hair, trying to make it not look so bad.
|
|
It doesn't work.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: What would you wear?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Whatever it takes.</p>
|
|
<p>At the barber shop.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: See, now Newman is a good customer.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Once I find a barber I stick with him. I almost went to
|
|
barber school. I always felt I had a talent </p>
|
|
<p>for it.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Oh, not everyone like Newman, so loyal.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Yeah, just the way that I was raised. I'm special.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: You know I don't mind if somebody's funny, but I no like
|
|
the funny business.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: I'm going to go out for a little bit. I'll be right back.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Take your time. (Gino leaves) You happy with the haircut?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: It's okay. A little crooked.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: How'd you like to have free haircut for six months.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: What's the catch?</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: You're going to get me a sample of Jerry's hair.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Hmm, that job sounds like it might be worth a *year's*
|
|
free haircuts. And a comb.</p>
|
|
<p>At George's office.</p>
|
|
<p>George is "playing the drums" on his desk. He is tapping
|
|
his desk with pencils.</p>
|
|
<p>*buzz*</p>
|
|
<p>Secretary: (over the speaker) Mr. Costanza, Mr. Pensky is here
|
|
to see you.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Mr. Pensky? Of the Pensky file?</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky enters.</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: Costanza? Arthur Pensky.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Mr. Pensky. I was just working on your file. I was transferring
|
|
the contents of the file into this</p>
|
|
<p>flexible accordion-style folder.</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: Where's Tuttle?</p>
|
|
<p>George: He's on vacation.</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: He was on vacation the last time I dropped by. Give me
|
|
my file. (looks through the file) Looks</p>
|
|
<p>like you put a lot of work into this.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well you know in college they used to call me the little
|
|
bulldog.</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: Hey, you are Pensky material. Would you ever consider coming
|
|
to work directly for me?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Really?</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: You are aware...</p>
|
|
<p>*buzz*</p>
|
|
<p>Secretary: (over the speaker) Mr. Castanza?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Not now Florice.</p>
|
|
<p>Secretary: (speaker) I thought Mr. Pensky should know they're towing
|
|
his car.</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: Damn this city.</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky leaves.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I am aware. I am aware.</p>
|
|
<p>At Jerry's apartment.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: He knows. He knows about us.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: How do you know?</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: Because I know. He's crazy. All morning, he looking at the
|
|
hair. He *staring* at the hair.</p>
|
|
<p>*knock knock knock*</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Who is it?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: It's Newman.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: He was in the shop with Enzo. He can't see me here.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: All right, go in the bedroom. Open the window. You can go
|
|
out the fire escape.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry opens the door.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What do you want?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Can I use your bathroom?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What's wrong with yours?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: My toilet's clogged.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You can't unclog it?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: No.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Did you ask Kramer?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: He's out.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Number one?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Yes, yes. Can I go? Cause I gotta go very badly.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: All right. Flush twice.</p>
|
|
<p>He goes in the bathroom.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: (thinking to himself) (checks a comb) No. (checks a brush)
|
|
Jackpot. I don't believe this.</p>
|
|
<p>There's no hair in this thing. I've never seen a person that didn't
|
|
have at least *one* hair in a brush. </p>
|
|
<p>(searches the bathtub drain) Unbelievable, nothing. (sees some
|
|
scissors) Ahh.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You all right?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Yeah, yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: All right, I'll see you later.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: What are you doing?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm watching Edward Scissorhands.</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>Newman: Oh, can I watch a little? It's my favorite movie.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah all right.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman follows behind Jerry closely as Jerry goes to the kitchen.
|
|
Newman puts the scissors close up to</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry's hair. Jerry turns around. Newman hides the scissors.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You want something to drink?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: No.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman tries again as Jerry goes to his couch. Newman follows behind
|
|
Jerry closely. Newman puts the</p>
|
|
<p>scissors close up to Jerry's hair. Jerry turns around. Newman hides
|
|
the scissors. Jerry looks at Newman </p>
|
|
<p>confused.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: If you want to watch, sit down. You're making me nervous.
|
|
I tell you this Scissorhands is a hell of </p>
|
|
<p>a barber.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman reaches behind Jerry and get a snip of hair.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Gotta go. Oh gee, I dropped a nickel (reaches down and
|
|
picks up the hair.)</p>
|
|
<p>Newman leaves laughing. Jerry looks confused.</p>
|
|
<p>At the barber shop.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Did you get it? Oh you done good Newman.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: It was a cinch. Where are you going?</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Io volgio vandetta.</p>
|
|
<p>At the auction house.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Nine hundred. Do I hear a thousand? Ladies, he is a Harvard
|
|
graduate.</p>
|
|
<p>Woman: A thousand.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: A thousand. Okay, a thousand once, a thousand twice, a
|
|
thousand three times, sold to the lucky</p>
|
|
<p>lady in the third row. Congratulations, thank you so much.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer peeks out the curtain and comes out and walks around on
|
|
stage.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Okay next bachelor is number, um 124 on your program. He's
|
|
uh, he's a high school graduate.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Equivalent.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, uh equivalency. A high school equivalency program graduate.
|
|
He's uh, self-employed. He's...</p>
|
|
<p>I don't know, six foot three, 190 pounds, he likes, uh... fruit,
|
|
and he just got uh, a haircut.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer steps from the stage onto a table. The table tips over and
|
|
Kramer falls off.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, Kramer. Okay uh, why don't we start the bidding. Do
|
|
I hear, uh, five bucks? </p>
|
|
<p>At Jerry's apartment.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I don't get this Scissorhands. What, is he supposed to be
|
|
like a super hero, like Green Lantern or </p>
|
|
<p>somebody? What's with this guy? (Gino looks at him annoyed) Just
|
|
asking.</p>
|
|
<p>*knock, knock, knock*</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Who is it?</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: (yelling) Enzo Manginero.</p>
|
|
<p>"Barber of Seville" music playing.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh my god, he knows. (Jerry and Gino scrambling) Go. (yelling
|
|
to the door) One second.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: It was you that was in Gino's apartment the other night.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: No I wasn't there.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: Don't lie. I know it was you. I get a sample of your hair.
|
|
I match them up.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Sample? (under his breath) Newman. Uh, I was there but I
|
|
was just dropping off a book.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: Don't Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: So, it's true.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino: Yes it's true.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo: I'm going to kill the both of you.</p>
|
|
<p>Enzo notices "Edward Scissorhands" playing on the TV
|
|
and becomes calm.</p>
|
|
<p>At the office.</p>
|
|
<p>George is at his desk sleeping with a newspaper draped over him.
|
|
Tuttle walks in. He bangs on the door. </p>
|
|
<p>George wakes up.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Mr. Tuttle, you're back.</p>
|
|
<p>Tuttle: George, I'm surprised to see you here.</p>
|
|
<p>George: You are?</p>
|
|
<p>Tuttle: I though you would have taken the large office.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh. Really.</p>
|
|
<p>Tuttle: I guess I didn't make that clear when I hired you. So where's
|
|
that Pensky file? Let's see what </p>
|
|
<p>you've been up to all week. (pages through the file) What have
|
|
you been doing all week?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well you missed a lovely little party that we had for Grace.</p>
|
|
<p>Tuttle: You haven't done anything with this.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well bear in mind that I am in the smaller office.</p>
|
|
<p>Tuttle: I'm beginning to wonder if you understand anything.</p>
|
|
<p>George: You are aware that Pensky is interested in me.</p>
|
|
<p>Tuttle: (scoffs) You're not Pensky material.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well, we'll just see about that. Ta-ta, Tut-tle.</p>
|
|
<p>At Jerry's apartment.</p>
|
|
<p>Gino and Enzo are watching "Edward Scissorhands" on TV.
|
|
They are both sobbing.</p>
|
|
<p>At the barber shop.</p>
|
|
<p>"Barber of Seville" music is playing.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry looks in the barber shop window and sees Newman giving a
|
|
guy a haircut. He enters. Newman looks</p>
|
|
<p>at him scared. Jerry picks up an electric razor and walks toward
|
|
Newman. Newman is very frightened.</p>
|
|
<p>(commercial)</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: Gee George, I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression.
|
|
What is was going to say was, now you</p>
|
|
<p>are aware that our Board of Directors has been indicted, myself
|
|
included, and we're prohibited from doing </p>
|
|
<p>business until the investigation is completed. So obviously, we
|
|
would have no use for you.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Obviously.</p>
|
|
<p>*buzz*</p>
|
|
<p>Pensky: Yes.</p>
|
|
<p>Secretary: (over the speaker) Excuse me, but Mr. Costanza's car
|
|
is being towed.</p>
|
|
<p>George waves his hand and the final note of "Barber of Seville"
|
|
plays.</p>
|
|
<p>
|
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