935 lines
51 KiB
HTML
935 lines
51 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
|
|
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
|
|
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
|
|
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
|
|
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
|
|
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="© 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
|
|
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Betrayal </title>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
|
|
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of
|
|
The Betrayal. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
|
|
<meta name="keywords" content="the betrayal, betrayal, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageType="CONTENT";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
|
|
|
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
|
|
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:title" content="The Betrayal"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBetrayal.htm"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Betrayal. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<div class="wrap">
|
|
<div class="head_title">
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="menu">
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
|
|
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="underMenu">
|
|
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
|
|
<h1>The Betrayal</h1>
|
|
|
|
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
|
|
<tr>
|
|
<td>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-in_content-top_left */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
|
|
google_ad_width = 300;
|
|
google_ad_height = 250;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
</td>
|
|
</tr>
|
|
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
Written by: David Mandel, Peter Mehlman</p>
|
|
<p>Directed by: Andy Akerman</p>
|
|
<p>Broadcasted: November 20, 1997 for the first time.</p>
|
|
<p>Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, </p>
|
|
<p>Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Wayne Knight (as Newman),</p>
|
|
<p>Michael McShane (as Franklin Delano Romanowski), Justine Miceli
|
|
(as</p>
|
|
<p>Nina) Brenda Strong (as Sue Ellen), Heidi Swedberg (as Susan),
|
|
and Shaun</p>
|
|
<p>Toub (as Pinter).</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>(The final 'Castle Rock' screen shows, then the end credits roll.
|
|
Scene cuts to the Coffee shop. George, Elaine, and Jerry enter with
|
|
suitcases. Elaine has a large bandage on her nose. They all sit
|
|
down at a booth. All three of them are tired, fed up, and angered)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: So, Elaine, are you going to sleep with me or what?!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Aggravated) George, I just got off a twenty-three hour
|
|
plane ride. I'm too tired to even vomit at the thought.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Angered) Fine. I'll ask you again when you're rested.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Sarcastic) Oh, I'm sure she'll come around.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, I hope so. For your sake!</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer comes in and sits down at the booth with them)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (To George) I said I was sorry.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You can stuff you sorries in a sack, mister!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Nauseated at the saying) Would you please stop saying that?!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Confused) What's up with you two?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I don't want to talk about it.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (To Jerry) So how was the big trip?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't want to talk about it!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Observing Elaine's bandaged nose) Well, what happened
|
|
to your nose?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I don't want to talk ab-ow!-t it! (She winces under the
|
|
pain from her nose on the word 'about')</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, you gotta give me something! Come on, how was the
|
|
wedding? Was the bride radiant?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: She.. was.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: 'Till she found out Elaine slept with the groom.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Interested) Ooohh.. That sounds juicy. Listen, I gotta
|
|
go to the bathroom, but I want to hear all about it. (Gets up and
|
|
heads for the bathroom)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (While skimming a Monk's menu) You know, I didn't go to
|
|
the bathroom the entire time we were in India.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I can't believe we went all the way to India for a wedding!</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: India]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE DAY EARLIER" People storm out of a building.
|
|
All are dressed in wedding apparel)</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: That's it! The wedding's off.</p>
|
|
<p>PINTER: What? But, Sue Ellen-</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: (Cutting him off. To Elaine) Elaine, you were my maid
|
|
of honor and you slept with MY Pinter?!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, no, no! It was years ago - before you met him. And,
|
|
and I got to tell you.. it was very mechanical.</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: I have never been so humiliated!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (To Jerry and George) Idiots! This is all yoru fault!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (While pointing at Jerry) Not me! Him! His fault! He betrayed
|
|
me!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Pleading) George, I'm sorry..</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You can stuff your sorries in a sack, Mister!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Confused) I don't know what that means.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (To his girlfriend) Alright, Nina, you have to decide right
|
|
now. Jerry or me?</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: (Casually) Alright.. Neither.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: What?! Well, what are you doing here?</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: A free trip to India. And by the way, you can take off those
|
|
boots. Everyone knows you're five' six.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Five' eight! Five' seven!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (To Sue Ellen) See? See the way they are?! We're - we're
|
|
still best friends, right?</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: No. (Grabbing at the stud in Elaine's nose) And take
|
|
that stupid thing out of your nose!</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine screams in pain as Sue Ellen pulls the stud out)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: That's got to hurt, I don't care where you're from!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Whispering to Jerry) What time is our flight back? I got
|
|
to go to the bathroom.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: A building in India]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "FIFTEEN MINUTES EARLIER" The bride, Sue Ellen,
|
|
and the Groom, Pinter, are walking down the aisle. Elaine is scattering
|
|
flowers behind them. Jerry</p>
|
|
<p>walks in and takes a seat)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Whispering to Jerry) Hey.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What happened last night?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, you were pretty loaded.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Gesturing to her nose stud) I know. I woke up with this.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh. Hello, Tetanus.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene cuts to Nina and George entering the wedding hall)</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: George, I've used the bathroom. It's fine.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Struggling) No, no, no, no. I can walk it off. It's a
|
|
hundred and twenty degrees in here.. I'll sweat it out.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Seeing George, she walks over to greet him) Hey. (Looking
|
|
at his shoes) Are those Timberlands painted black?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Looking at her nose) Is your nose pierced?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Embarrassed) I should.. (Walks tward the bride and groom)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah. (Points to two open seats in front of Jerry's. To
|
|
Nina) Sit down there. (Sees Jerry in the crowd) Hello, Jerry. (Obviously
|
|
angered at Jerry) I</p>
|
|
<p>believe you know Nina.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (As George sits down) George, we need to talk.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Trying to keep his voice down) I think you've done a lot
|
|
more than talk! You betrayed me!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright, I admit it. I slept with Nina, but that's all.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Outraged) "That's all"?! That's everything!
|
|
I don't know what all the rest of it is for anyway!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Pleading) I'm really sorry.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Confused) Where'd you get that one?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: It's an expression.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (From the front of the room, she can hear George and Jerry's
|
|
heated discussion) Hey! Shhhhh! (Crosses herself, then shakes her
|
|
head - apologizing)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Trying to whisper to Jerry) Look, we are gonna settle
|
|
this right now! I demand reparations! I should get to sleep with
|
|
Elaine. That's the only way to</p>
|
|
<p>punish you!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: That doesn't punish me. It punishes Elaine! And cruelly,
|
|
I might add.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Losing it) Funny guy!</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine casually makes her way to Jerry and George)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hey! Monkeys! Knock it off. My best friend is trying to
|
|
get married up here!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Elaine, you have to sleep with me.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Definite) I'm not gonna sleep with you.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Reparations!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Would you grow up, George?! What is the difference? Nina
|
|
slept with (Points to Jerry) him, he slept with me, I slept with
|
|
Pinter. Nobody cares! It's all</p>
|
|
<p>ancient history.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Loud, so everyone at the wedding can hear) You slept with
|
|
the groom?!</p>
|
|
<p>(Everyone goes silent. George and Elaine both look sheepishly.
|
|
All eyes on them, expecially Sue Ellen)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: New York street]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "FOUR HOURS EARLIER" Kramer is standing up against
|
|
a brick wall. All the sudden, he's pegged straight in the face with
|
|
a snowball. He winces from</p>
|
|
<p>the pain and coldness, then walks up to his friend FDR - the one
|
|
who threw the snowball at him. He hugs him)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, thank you, FDR!</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: The Coffee shop]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE HOUR EARLIER" Kramer and FDR are both holding
|
|
a wishbone)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Alright, FDR.. This wish is for all the marbles. You win,
|
|
you get your wish - I drop dead. I win, I don't drop dead, and I
|
|
get one-hundred percent</p>
|
|
<p>anti-drop-dead protection. Forever.</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: Alright.</p>
|
|
<p>(They each pull, it breaks. FDR won)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, man! Well, then, come on. There's got to be something
|
|
that'll change your mind, FDR. Something.." (FDR lifts up a
|
|
cooler, and puts it on the table)</p>
|
|
<p>What, you want my kidney? (FDR is smiling wickedly as he pulls
|
|
a snowball out of the cooler) Mama!..</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's room in India]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THE NIGHT BEFORE, BACK IN INDIA" Elaine is
|
|
obviously drunk)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: George knows that you slept with Nina. That's why he was
|
|
acting so weird.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: How did he find out?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: He schnapped me.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You know you're not supposed to drink whil you're keeping
|
|
a secret! (Elaine laughs) Is there anything else?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I can't tell you.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Handing her a small bottle) Here, drink this.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Okay. (Takes a drink) I slept with the groom.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Pinter?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: He used to be called Peter.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Making nothing of it) So? Who cares about that?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAIEN: Sue Ellen! If she knew, she'd call off the whole wedding.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, nobody's calling off any weddings. (Elaine, at this
|
|
point, has climbed onto the couch and is squirming around - she
|
|
now has her backside to Jerry)</p>
|
|
<p>Alright, it's time to go. Come on.. Up.</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine climbs onto Jerry's back)</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Do you know what 'Jerry' is in Indian?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Carrying her out, piggy-back style) No, what?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Between laughs) Jugdish.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yes, jugdish.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (While sliding off Jerry onto the hallway floor) Hey, what
|
|
if I got my nose pierced? That would be pretty freaky.. Oooohhhhaaa!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Trying to get rid of her) Yes, I think it's a fine idea.
|
|
Well, good night. (Shuts the door)</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine peers through the blinds on Jerry's door)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Sticking her fingers through the blinds - waving at him)
|
|
G'night, Jugdish. (Laughs)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's room, India]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE HOUR EARLIER" Jerry hands Elaine a glass
|
|
of Schnapps)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Bless you.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Thank you..</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's room, India]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THREE SECONDS EARLIER" Jerry's pouring Elaine
|
|
a glass of Schnapps. Elaine sneezes)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: New York park]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "TWO HOURS EARLIER, NEW YORK" Kramer is with
|
|
hot-dog vender FDR)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, guess what, FDR? I made a wish on a shooting star
|
|
last night, and I wished against your wish.</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: That's funny. As it happens, I saw the same shooting star
|
|
and double-wished you to drop dead. (Hands Kramer some coins) Here's
|
|
your change.</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer walks over, and throws his coins in a nearby fountain)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Alright, I'm triple-wishing! Yep!</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: (Throwing four coins into the fountain) Then I'm quadruple-wishing!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Alright.. (Pulls out one of his eyebrows) How do you like
|
|
this? (Blows it away) Ya!</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: I like it a lot. (Pulls out one of his eyebrows) Ow! (Blows
|
|
it away)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Tears out another eyelash) Ah! (Blows it away)</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: (Doing the same) Oh! (Blows it away)</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer and FDR get into a frenzy - both ripping out their eyelashes)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Indian Airport]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THREE HOURS EARLIER, BACK IN INDIA" Elaine,
|
|
Jerry, George, and Nina are all at the airport)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, God, it's so hot! (Sniffing) What's that smell?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Joking around) I think it's the stench of death.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: George, you've been wearing those boots since I met you.
|
|
You're not gonna wear them to the wedding, are you?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Laughing nervously) No.. I'm gonna wear black shoes.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAIEN: (Sees her enemy, Sue Ellen, at the airport) Oh boy. There's
|
|
Sue Ellen. She didn't want me at this wedding, but here I am with
|
|
a buch of my idiot friends!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Giddy) This is gonna be great!</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: (Walking up to the group) Elaine? Oh! Oh, I am so happy
|
|
to see you!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Confused by her reaction) You are?</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: Well, of course! No one else was even willing to come
|
|
to India. I mean, not even Pinter's parents - and they're Indian.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAIEN: Come on, Sue Ellen. You don't wear a bra, you're tall..
|
|
we hate each other!</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: Elaine, I know. I know we've had our problems, but..
|
|
I want you to be my maid of honor - and my best friend.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Toying with the idea) Huh.. alright. I guess.</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: Uh, this is my fiance, Pinter. (To Pinter) Say hello.</p>
|
|
<p>PINTER: (Walking up to them) Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Recognizing him) Peter?</p>
|
|
<p>SUE ELLEN: Uh, no. It's Pinter. Does anyone want to use the bathroom?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Leading Nina out the airport) Oh, no. No. We're good.
|
|
Let's get goin'. Alright. (Almost bumps into Jerry) Watch it, funny
|
|
man. (Leaves) </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Elaine, have you noticed George was acting strage the whole
|
|
flight?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Acting equilly strange) No. What? Like what? What? Strange..
|
|
No. I..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Pulls a small bottle out of his pocket) Uh-huh. Hey, look
|
|
what they had on the plane. Schnapps.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Ooohh.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry/Kramer's apartment building]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THE NIGHT BEFORE, NEW YORK" Kramer is on the
|
|
roof of his apartment building looking up at the stars)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAME: Come on.. Come on. Yes! (Sees a falling star) There's one!
|
|
(Yelling out) I wish I don't drop dead!!</p>
|
|
<p>MAN: (Off-screen) Hey, shut up up there!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: You shut up!</p>
|
|
<p>MAN: Aw, drop dead!</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Airplane]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "FIVE HOURS EARLIER, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN NEW YORK AND
|
|
INDIA" Elaine, Jerry, George, and Nina are on the plane - India-bound.</p>
|
|
<p>George walks up to Jerry's seat)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Hello, friend. Enjoying the flight?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Coach to India - The only way to go.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Heavily sarcastic. He's angered at Jerry) Good one. Very
|
|
funny. You're very funny, Jerry. That's what I always tell people.
|
|
(Yelling out) Jerry Seinfeld's</p>
|
|
<p>a funny guy!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You all right?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Of course I'm all right. I'm here with my girl. Nina. And
|
|
what better way to pass the time than gabbing with my best friend..
|
|
with whom there are no</p>
|
|
<p>secrets. (Flashes two intertwined fingers) Like this. Since the
|
|
fourth grade.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Joking around) Hey, didn't I beat you up in the fourth
|
|
grade?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Yelling out to the whole coach) Funny guy! (Points to
|
|
Jerry) Right here!</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene cuts to Nina and Elaine)</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: By the way, you never said anything to George about Jerry
|
|
and me, did ya?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh please.. It's in the vault.</p>
|
|
<p>(Camera stays on Elaine and Nina as we hear George yelling from
|
|
the front of the plane)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Ho, ho! Jerry Seinfeld's a funny guy!</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: The Coffee shop]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE DAY EARLIER" Elaine and George are at Monks.
|
|
Elaine is drunk)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Watch this. (Puts the bottle of Schnapps in her mouth,
|
|
flips her head up, drinking it, then puts it back down with her
|
|
teeth. She is effected by that last</p>
|
|
<p>drink:) Oh.. God..</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: So, Jerry and Nina, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, Mmm.. (Scoots up close to George) I'm not gonna tell
|
|
you any more things..</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: But you already told me everything.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Okey-dokey.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Newman's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER")</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I mean, we had a deal, Newman. And you were supposed to
|
|
give my your birthday wish. And now you've wated it!</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (With a gorgeous woman sitting on his lap) Did I?</p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN: Newman, I'm bored.</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: Aww..</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Does your girlfriend have to be here?</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (Suggesting Jerry) Does yours?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Giving Newman a sour look) I'm just hanging out in this
|
|
hell-hole because of George.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Alright, come on, Newman. Now you gotta help me! What am
|
|
I gonna do about FDR?</p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN: Why don't you just make another wish?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: And how am I gonna do that, Toots?</p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN: What about a shooting star?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Interested) That's perfect..</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (Kissing the woman) Beauty.. and brains.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Disgusted. To the woman) Oh, come on. You know he's a postman,
|
|
don't ya?</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "FIFTEEN MINUTES EARLIER" George enters Jerry's
|
|
apartment)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Hey.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Handing George a ticket) Here. You're going to India with
|
|
us tomarrow.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: For how long?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Three days.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Great. (Hugs Jerry) Jerry, I gotta tell you, I had the
|
|
best time with that Nina last night. I - I think I'm in love with
|
|
her already. You are a great friend. A</p>
|
|
<p>great, great friend.</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer leaves his apartment, entering the hallway)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Trying to change the subject away from Nina) Hey, Kramer,
|
|
what are you doing? You want to borrow something? You want to eat
|
|
something? Come on</p>
|
|
<p>in!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Shrugging Jerry off) Nah.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You want to go to India?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I can't. (Complaining) I'm gonna drop dead.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Great! Nina could go, huh? Jerry, this is great. You and
|
|
Elaine. Me and Nina..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (As Kramer is walking in the direction of Newman's apartment)
|
|
Hey, Kramer, wait up. I'll go with you.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I'm goin' to Newman's!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Eagerly following Kramer) Great, I love Newman! (They both
|
|
leave)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Asking Elaine) Jerry seem a little weird when I mentioned
|
|
Nina?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Nina? Nina? No. Psshhh.. Not weird. No. Nina.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Why do you keep saying Nina?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAIEN: I don't know. Nina. Nina! (Feeling she's said to much,
|
|
she goes to leave) I'm gonna go grab a bite.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Uhh.. I'll meet you down there. (Elaine leaves. George
|
|
instantly goes looking through Jerry's cabinet) Cereal, cereal..
|
|
(Picks up a bottle) Peach schnapps.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: NYC Street]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER")</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Knocking on a port-a-potty door) Come on, Lomez! We're
|
|
gonna be late for the movie.</p>
|
|
<p>(Newman, with the woman he wished for, are riding in his car. He
|
|
stops at a stop light - right next to Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (To his new girlfriend) You see, my dear, all certified
|
|
mail is registered, but registered mail is not necessarily cerified.</p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN; I could listed to you talk about mail all day.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Anything you wish.. I'll tell you a little secret about
|
|
zip codes: They're meaningless! (Laughs evilly, driving away)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Wish?! Newman!</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Newman's apartment]</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE DAY EARLIER" It's Newman's birthday party.
|
|
His house is full of Postal co-workers)</p>
|
|
<p>ALL: (Singing to Newman) ..And you smell like one, too.</p>
|
|
<p>POSTMAN: Make a wish, Newman! We've gotta get back to work in three
|
|
hours!</p>
|
|
<p>(Newman inhales, ready to blow the candles out. Kramer rushes in)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Newman, wait!</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (Sputtering loudly) Kramer! I'm with people.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, yeah. And thanks for inviting me!</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: I did invite you.. Your invitation must've.. gotten lost
|
|
in the mail.</p>
|
|
<p>(All postal workers burst out with laughter)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, Newman, I need your wish to protect me from FDR.</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (Refusing, Standing up) Can't do it. I'm on an unbelievable
|
|
birthday-wish hot streak! My last five birthday wishes came true.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Come on! Look, I'll give you my next birthday wish, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: (Negotiating) Your next.. fifty wishes.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Forty-eight.</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: Fourty-nine.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Done!</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN AND KRAMER: (Toghether) Sucker..</p>
|
|
<p>(Newman sits back down to his cake, where his co-workers are about
|
|
to slice it)</p>
|
|
<p>NEWMAN: Alright, alright, back, savages. Back! I haven't made my
|
|
wish yet..</p>
|
|
<p>(Newman starts to inhale again. This time, he sees a magazine on
|
|
the table - on the cover is a beautiful woman. Then blows out the
|
|
candles)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE DAY EARLIER" Elaine enters)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Well, this Mischke mish-mash is just gettin' worse.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh-huh.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I talked with the groom's parents..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm..</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: ..And it's so obvious that they don't want..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh-huh..</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: ..me to go.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Sure.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: So, the only reason..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh-huh.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: ..she sent me an invitation was that so I'd send her a
|
|
gift.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh-huh.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: (From Jerry's room) Jerry?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (To Elaine) Uh, well, you know, a coffee grinder is nice.
|
|
Or a coffee maker. Everyone likes coffee. Anything to do with coffee.
|
|
Maybe you should go get</p>
|
|
<p>some coffee.</p>
|
|
<p>(Nina enters the living room - sees Elaine)</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Oh. Hi.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hi.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: (Getting ready to leave) Oh, I should.. um..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Sure.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Bye.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Bye-bye. (Leaves)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Gesturing back to the bedroom) Who else ya got back there?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Look, there was an awkward moment in the conversation. It
|
|
never happened before.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You slept with Nina? What are you gonna tell George?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Nothing. And neither will you. George can never know about
|
|
this.. It'll crush him.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Uh. Alright, alright. I'll put it in the vault.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No good. Too many people know the combination.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Confused) What combination? (Jerry makes the "drinky-drinky"
|
|
sign with his hands) Don't be rediculous.</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry opens one of his kitchen drawers)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh my god. This drawer is filled with Fruit Loops!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: So what?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: And milk.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene cuts to "THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER" Kramer is in
|
|
Jerry's kitchen. He spills his milk and cereal on the counter)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, geez..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (From outside the apartment) Hello?</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer quickly opens a drawer and sweeps his mess into it with
|
|
his arm)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Pinter's parent's house]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE HOUR EARLIER" Elaine is at Pinter's parents
|
|
house)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hi. Mr. and Mrs. Ranawat?</p>
|
|
<p>ZUBIN: Please, call us Usha and Zubin.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh. Well, Usha..</p>
|
|
<p>ZUBIN: I'm Zubin.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Shrugging it off) Anyway, your son is marrying my friend,
|
|
Sue Ellen Mischke..</p>
|
|
<p>USHA: You're not going to the wedding, are you?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Well..</p>
|
|
<p>USHA: Don't go. India is a dreadful, dreadful place.</p>
|
|
<p>ZUBIN: You know, it's the only country that still has the plague?
|
|
I mean, the plague! Please!</p>
|
|
<p>USHA: Here's the registry. Send her a gift, and be glad you did
|
|
not have to go.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Soaking it in) Right. Don't go. Send a gift. I think I
|
|
understand.</p>
|
|
<p>ZUBIN: If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the
|
|
entire trip.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Leaving) That's fantastic.</p>
|
|
<p>ZUBIN: And I'm not so crazy about Manhattan, either.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER" Jerry and Nina are
|
|
in the kitchen)</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Oh, you were going to tell me all about George.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ah, just remember when you see him tomarrow night to tell
|
|
him that the waiter liked him.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Really?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Believe me. You know, I forgot how much fun it is hanging
|
|
out with you.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: I know. You know, we never had a bad conversation.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I know. No awkward pauses. Probably the reason we never
|
|
fooled around..</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Heh.. yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Probably the reason..</p>
|
|
<p>(They both stare at eachother, then, Jerry clears of the counter
|
|
with the sweep of his arm, Nina hops onto the counter, and they
|
|
start going at it)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: FDR's apartment building]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE DAY EARLIER" Kramer is standing outside
|
|
FDR's door, talking to FDR. He is finishing what was once a large
|
|
lollipop)</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: Are - are you dense? I said I wanted you to drop dead. Now..
|
|
drop dead! (Slams the door in Kramer's face)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Walking away) I knew it.. Stupid Jerry..</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene cuts to "TEN MINUTES EARLIER" at Jerry's apartment.
|
|
Jerry's at his door, talking with Kramer. Kramer's lollipop is slightly
|
|
bigger)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Kramer, I know what I'm talking about. There's no way FDR
|
|
wants you to drop dead.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: But you haven't seen..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Just go back and ask him again. (Slams the door on Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah.. (Heads for FDR's)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene cuts to "TEN MINUTES EARLIER" at FDR's apartment.
|
|
Kramer and FDR are talking at the door. Kramer's lollipop, of course,
|
|
is larger than the scene</p>
|
|
<p>before)</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: That's right. My birthday wish was for you to drop dead.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, why?</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: (Sinister) I have my reasons.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Woah, wait, wait, wait. If you make a birthday wish out
|
|
loud, it doesn't come true.</p>
|
|
<p>FDR: That's just a silly superstition. (Slams his door on Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene cuts to "TEN MINUTES EARLIER" Kramer comes into
|
|
Jerry's apartment with a huge lollipop)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: FDR?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (To George) Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski. (Resumes
|
|
telling the story) I go to his birthday part, and just before he
|
|
blew out his candles, he gives</p>
|
|
<p>me this look..</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Guessing the look) Stink eye?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Also guessing) Crook eye?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Entroducing yet another type of look to the boys) EVIL
|
|
eye.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, everybody's a little cranky on their birthday..</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, it's a bad day. Uh, you got everyone in your house,
|
|
you're thinkin', "These are my friends?!"</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Sarcasticly joking off what George said) Everyday is my
|
|
birthday.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, well, I can't have this hanging over my head. It's
|
|
bad mojo.</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine opens the door, hitting Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hi.</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer, still wheezing from the door, leaves)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You're not gonna believe what I got in the mail. An invitation
|
|
to Sue Ellen Mischke's wedding.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Joking about the bra-less wonder) Well, at least the wedding
|
|
gown will give her some support.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Not the point. The wedding is in one week. I got this (Holds
|
|
up invitation) today.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So you think it's a non-vite?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: It's an un-vitation! (Notices George is a few inches higher)
|
|
Hey, are you gettin' taller?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Showing Elaine his boots) Timberlands.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Ah. (Looking at the invitation) Hey, look at this. 'Pinter
|
|
Ranawat'.. I wonder if he's related to that guy I dated, Peter Ranawat..</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ah, it's probably like Smith over there.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Jerry, would you make the call already?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What call?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Picks up the phone, dialing Nina) He wants me to set him
|
|
up with this girl, Nina Stengal.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Remembers Jerry's talking about her) Oh, the great conversation
|
|
girl. (Somewhat bitter tward Jerry) The one you think can replace
|
|
me?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I was kidding when I said that!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (To Elaine) Told me the same thing.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (On the phone) Nina, Hi. It's Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You-you sure you never slept with her? (Jerry shakes his
|
|
head 'no') Perfect.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (To Nina) Hey, how 'bout my friend, George? Quite a guy,
|
|
huh?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Rubbing his stomach) Ooh.. Something's not sitting right..</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: The Coffee shop]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ONE HOUR EARLIER" George is ordering his meal)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'll have the clam casino.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Get outta here.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Showing Jerry the menu) "Chef recommends"</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hmm..</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Motioning tward waitress) I think she likes me.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Sure.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: So, how come nothing ever happened between you and Nina?
|
|
(Getting paranoid) Is there a problem with her? Is she a man?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Are you?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, what's the reason?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: We were too compatible.. Our conversations were so engrossing.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: How engrossing?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: If we ever had a problem with Elaine, we could bring in
|
|
Nina and not lose a step.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Wow! Heh. (Half kidding) You don't, huh, have a replacement
|
|
lined up for me, do ya?</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry snickers, then stares at George, smiling)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Anyway, like I was saying, I couldn't make the trasition
|
|
from conversation to sex. There were no awkward pauses.. I need
|
|
an awkward pause.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'm all for awkward pauses. Fix me up with her.. Wait a
|
|
minute, Nina just saw me in my Timberlands! Now I have to wwear
|
|
them every time I see her.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Why?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: In any othe shoe, I lose two inches. I - I can't have a
|
|
drop down. We were eye to eye, I can't go eye to chin!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So, you're gonna wear 'em no matter what the situation?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: In every situation. No matter how silly I look. (Tastes
|
|
his meal) Hm.. tastes a little funky.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, I'm sure it's fine.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: FDR's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THIRTY MINUTES EARLIER" A group of people are
|
|
singing to FDR)</p>
|
|
<p>ALL: ..to you!</p>
|
|
<p>MAN: Come on, make a wish! Make a wish!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah!</p>
|
|
<p>(FDR eyes Kramer evilly, blows out his candles, then gives Kramer
|
|
the same look. Kramer reacts nervously)</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: NYC Street]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "TEN MINUTES EARLIER" Jerry and George are walking
|
|
down the street. The opening credits start to show)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Ah, this is the kind of day that almost makes you feel
|
|
good to be alive.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Almost. (Notices his shoes) Hey, new Timberlands?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, and a whole new me. I'm up two inches in these babies!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Really?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Five' eight. Five' seven.</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry passes Nina, an old girlfriend)</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Jerry?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Nina?</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Hi.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It's been years!</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Yeah!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Introducing the two) George, this is Nina.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Nice to meet you.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Nice to meet you, too.</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Elaine's apartment building]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "THREE HOURS EARLIER" Elaine's at her mailbox)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Reading an invitation) India? Yeah, right. (Sarcastic)
|
|
I'm goin' to India..</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: The Coffee shop]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "TWO YEARS EARLIER" Jerry is sitting at a booth
|
|
with Nina)</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: And they call it the World Wide Web. You can e-mail anyone!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (Mesmerized) What are you, a scientist?!</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: Ah, I gotta go. (Gets up to leave)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ah.</p>
|
|
<p>NINA: It's great talkin'</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Great talkin' to you. (Nina leaves. To himself) What the
|
|
hell is e-mail?</p>
|
|
<p>(George and Susan enter and sit with Jerry)</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: How as the date?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Pretty good. I think she might be the one.</p>
|
|
<p>SUSAN: No.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Whooo.. (To a waitress taking orders) Ooh.. French fries.</p>
|
|
<p>SUSAN: Ah, George.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (Changing is order for Susan) Baked, uh, potato.</p>
|
|
<p>SUSAN: Uh-huh.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Sorry.</p>
|
|
<p>SUSAN: yeah, you stuff your sorries in a sack, mister.</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer runs into Monk's with a snowball)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey, hey. Yeah, check it out. It's packin' tight! (Puts
|
|
the snowball on the table, then drips water from Jerry's cup onto
|
|
it)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What are you bringing snowballs in here for?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, I need some water. Ice it up nice and hard.. and when
|
|
you throw it - Pop! Oh look, (Looks out the Monk's windows) there's
|
|
my friend, FDR. I'm</p>
|
|
<p>gonna nail him in the back of the head. It's gonna be great! (Rushes
|
|
out of Monks to peg his friend with the snowball)</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine and Pinter [Peter] enter Monk's, and are greeted)</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hi, Elaine.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Hey!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (Turning around and leaving with Pinter) Hey, let's go
|
|
someplace else, Okay, Peter?</p>
|
|
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
|
|
<p>[Setting: Jerry's new apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>(Notice: "ELEVEN YEARS EARLIER" Jerry, carrying a box,
|
|
is moving in to his apartment for the first time. He meets his across-the-hall
|
|
neighbor, Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, hey, how you doing?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, hi. I-I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I'm movin' in. I saw your
|
|
name on the buzzer - You must be Kessler.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uh, no. Actually, it's Kramer.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uh, you need any help, or..?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, thanks. But I ordered a pizza. You want some of it?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uh, no, no, no. I couldn't impose.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Why not? We're neighbors. What's mine is yours. (And with
|
|
that, Jerry made the most fatal mistake of his life)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (Eyeing Jerry's empty apartment) Really?</p>
|
|
<p>END OF SHOW.</p>
|
|
<p>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- content -->
|
|
|
|
<div id="navBar">
|
|
|
|
<div id="upperBox">
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
|
|
google_ad_width = 200;
|
|
google_ad_height = 200;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="leftnav"><br />
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
|
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
|
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
|
</div>
|
|
</form>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|