1068 lines
51 KiB
HTML
1068 lines
51 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Gum</h1>
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Transcribed by: (Mazzy) Mark Brockbank Barrow-in-Furness, UK</p>
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<p>Episode Number: 120<br>
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Original Air Date: December 14, 1995<br>
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Written by: Tom Gammill & Max Pross<br>
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Directed by: Andy Ackerman</p>
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<p>Guest Cast:<br>
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Matt McCoy (Lloyd)<br>
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Mary Jo Keenen (Deena)<br>
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Eric Christmas (Haarwood)<br>
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Sandy Ward (Pop Lazzari)<br>
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Ruth Cohen (Cashier)<br>
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Lionel Mark Smith (Florist)<br>
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Vito D'Ambrosio (Cop)<br>
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Alan Watt (Attendant)</p>
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<p>[Nightclub]</p>
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<p>Jerry's opening standup monologue.</p>
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<p>JERRY: (unwrapping a piece of gum) I think gum is, is one of the weirdest
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human</p>
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<p>inventions. (pops gum in his mouth) It's not a liquid, 's not a solid,
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's not a</p>
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<p>food. What is it? It isn't really anything, you know. I mean, it's like
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a</p>
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<p>stationary bike for your jaw. Like, remember when you were in school,
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and</p>
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<p>teachers would get all riled up if they caught you with gum? And when
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you were a</p>
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<p>kid, you'd think 'What is the big deal?' But, as an adult, I can understand
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it,</p>
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<p>because when you're chewing gum, you don't look like you're too thrilled
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with</p>
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<p>anything anyone has to say. (as sarcastic teen) 'Oh, World War Two. That
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was an</p>
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<p>important historical event? Yeah, I'm sure.' 'They landed a man on the
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moon,</p>
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<p>nineteen sixty-nine? Yeah, right. Yeah, I buy that, teach.'</p>
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<p>[Monks']</p>
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<p>Jerry and George sitting in a booth, much as usual.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: You think she's happy?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Who?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (indicates with his head) The cashier.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Ruthie Cohen?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (surprised) You know her name?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Sure.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I don't think I've ever spoken to her.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Maybe that's why she's happy.</p>
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<p>Kramer enters. He has a handful of flyers.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (handing Jerry & George a flyer) Good morning, gentlemen.</p>
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<p>JERRY: What is this?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (removing his coat) Yeah, well, it's the latest offering from
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the Alex</p>
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<p>Theatre.</p>
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<p>JERRY: That stinky old movie-house?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (sits beside Jerry) Well, you should smell it now. We fixed up
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the</p>
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<p>place.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (gesturing with flyer) With Spartacus?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (lighting his pipe) Well, it's a rare archival print. (jumps
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as his</p>
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<p>burns his fingers) Twelve extra minutes, full wide-screen CinemaScope,
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and if</p>
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<p>you come to the one o'clock show, you can hear Geoffrey Har-harwood.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Geoffrey who?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Har-harwood, Jerry. He was the assistant wardrobe man on Spartacus.
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Some</p>
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<p>fascinating insights into the production.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Why would I spend seven dollars to see a movie that I could watch
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on TV?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Well, why go to a fine restaurant, when you can just stick something
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in</p>
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<p>the microwave? Why go to the park and fly a kite, when you can just pop
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a pill?</p>
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<p>(looks around Monk's) Listen, you guys haven't seen Lloyd Braun, have
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you? I'm</p>
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<p>supposed to meet him here.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Lloyd Braun? What d'you have to meet him for?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Well, he's using his connections in the Mayor's office, to uh,
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get the</p>
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<p>theatre landmark status.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I thought he screwed up the Dinkins campaign.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Well, he did. You know, after that, he had a nervous breakdown?
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Had to</p>
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<p>spend a few months in an institution.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Really?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Yeah, but he's doing a lot better now. I've taken him under my
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wing.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, then I'm not worried.</p>
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<p>Lloyd Braun enters in the background.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: But he still needs all of our support. Now, when he gets here
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treat him</p>
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<p>like he's one of the gang, huh.</p>
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<p>Lloyd wanders toward the guys at the table.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (thoughtful) Breakdown, huh?</p>
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<p>LLOYD: Hey Kramer.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Oh, hey Lloyd, hey buddy. (gets up and shakes Lloyd's hand)</p>
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<p>LLOYD: How you doing?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (slaps Lloyd on the shoulder) Sit down. (sits himself)</p>
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<p>LLOYD: Hi Jerry.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Lloyd.</p>
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<p>LLOYD: George.</p>
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<p>Lloyd sits beside George.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hello, Lloyd. How you doing?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Yeah well, he's doing fine, George.</p>
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<p>LLOYD: (offering packet) Gum?</p>
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<p>JERRY: (peering) That's an interesting package.</p>
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<p>LLOYD: Yeah, it's from China. Go ahead, try a piece. Tell me that's not
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the most</p>
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<p>delicious gum you've ever tasted.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Yes, yes. We shall all try a piece and tell you how delicious
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it is. (he</p>
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<p>takes pieces for himself and Jerry)</p>
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<p>LLOYD: George?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I don't chew gum.</p>
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<p>JERRY: (chewing) Mmm, different. Where'd you get it?</p>
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<p>LLOYD: Friend of mine in Chinatown gave it to me. If you want I can ask
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him</p>
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<p>where he got it.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Nah, don't bother.</p>
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<p>LLOYD: No, it's no problem.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I don't want it.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Jerry, Jerry. Lloyd says it's no problem. He's capable of locating
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the</p>
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<p>gum.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Alright.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Mmm, delicious. This is delicious. Mmm.</p>
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<p>[Jerry's Apartment]</p>
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<p>George sits at the table examining the contents of his wallet. Jerry
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is still</p>
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<p>chewing, and by his face, he's not enjoying it.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: You know what? I think this Ruthie Cohen gave me the wrong change.</p>
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<p>Didn't I pay with a twenty? I'm sure I paid with a twenty.</p>
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<p>Elaine enters.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Hey.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hey.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I think I finally figured out what the flavor is in this gum.
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It's a</p>
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<p>little lo-mein-y. (he spits it into the waste bin)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What kind is that?</p>
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<p>JERRY: It's Chinese gum, Lloyd Braun gave me.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Lloyd Braun? How's he doing?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (almost gleeful) After Dinkins lost the election, he had a complete</p>
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<p>nervous breakdown. They had to lock him up.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: You know, that's around the same time I broke up with Lloyd.
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Y... you</p>
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<p>don't think that I had anything to do with his breakdown, do you?</p>
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<p>JERRY: You know, I remember when we parted company, I was babbling incoherently</p>
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<p>for months.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Yeah? Well, I got news for you.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: The whole time that I was growing up, all I ever heard from my
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mother</p>
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<p>was 'Why can't you be more like that Lloyd Braun?'</p>
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<p>JERRY: And in the end Lloyd Braun became more like you.</p>
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<p>George snaps his fingers and points to Jerry, signaling his agreement.
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Then he</p>
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<p>picks up his jacket and heads for the door.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Right, gotta get going.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Aren't you coming with us to Spartacus?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Nah, I gotta deliver some Christmas presents to my parents.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I thought your parents were outta town?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Why d'you think I'm going now?</p>
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<p>[Street: Queens]</p>
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<p>George has parked his car on the street, and gets out. An elderly guy
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is on the</p>
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<p>porch of his house and recognises George.</p>
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<p>POP: Georgie!</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hey, Mr Lazzari.</p>
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<p>POP: Back in the old neighborhood, ah?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. Just delivering some presents to my folks.</p>
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<p>POP: Oh, snazzy car. Le Baron?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah, eighty-three. Used to belong to John Voight.</p>
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<p>POP: The actor, right?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Something like that.</p>
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<p>POP: Mind if I look under the hood?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Oh, no no no no. Go ahead, Pop, you always knew your cars.</p>
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<p>A young woman has exited from the old guy's house, and approaches.</p>
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<p>POP: Oh, Deena! Deena, Deena, l... look who's here.</p>
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<p>Pop lifts the hood of the car, and leans into the engine compartment.</p>
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<p>DEENA: George Costanza, is that you?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hey Deena, come on, give us a hug. (they hug) Oh my gosh, you
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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look as</p>
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<p>pretty as you did back in high school.</p>
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<p>DEENA: Boy, those were some crazy times.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. Speaking of crazy, did you hear about Lloyd Braun?</p>
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<p>[Alex Theatre: Lobby]</p>
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<p>Kramer is leading Jerry and Elaine on a tour of the Alex. There are a
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few</p>
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<p>customers scattered about and a bored attendant behind the counter. Elaine
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has a</p>
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<p>big bucket of popcorn.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: The Alex was built in nineteen twenty-two, during the golden
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era of</p>
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<p>movie palaces. Minor restorations in nineteen forty-one, forty-seven,
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fifty-two,</p>
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<p>fifty-eight, sixty-three, and currently to our present period of time.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Boy, you're really getting into this aren't you?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Yes, yes I am. The icing on the cake would be getting that landmark</p>
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<p>status from the City. We're hoping Lloyd Braun can pull a few strings.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, can Lloyd really do that?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Lloyd Braun can do anything he puts his mind to. He's fine, Jerry.
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(to</p>
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<p>Elaine) And you should say hello to him, Elaine.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (concerned) What? Lloyd is here?</p>
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<p>Kramer indicates Lloyd approaching.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What? No, no, I'd rather...</p>
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<p>LLOYD: Hi Elaine.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (big fake smile) Lloyd, yes. Hello.</p>
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<p>LLOYD: Kramer tell you? We reserved some special seats, so we can all
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sit</p>
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<p>together.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (reluctant) Oh, well... I, uh, actually Lloyd, Jerry and I have
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to sit</p>
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<p>in the front row, uhm, (desperately inventing) because uh, because, because
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he,</p>
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<p>he forgot his glasses. So uh, thanks for getting us... uhm, we'll see
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you</p>
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<p>afterwards.</p>
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<p>Elaine grabs Jerry by the arm and leads him toward the auditorium.</p>
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<p>LLOYD: That was odd. Am I crazy, or does Jerry not wear glasses?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (emphatic) You're not crazy. Jerry does wear glasses. He just
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forgot</p>
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<p>'em, that's all. (puts an arm round Lloyd's shoulder) Not crazy.</p>
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<p>[Alex Theatre: Auditorium]</p>
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<p>Jerry and Elaine sit in the front row of seats. Elaine is eating popcorn.</p>
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<p>JERRY: We're all the way in the front row. Why couldn't we sit in the
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special</p>
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<p>seats?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I'm sorry, but I didn't want Lloyd thinking I was leading him
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on again.</p>
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<p>Seeing him made me feel very uncomfortable.</p>
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<p>The lights go down, and music is heard as the show begins. Jerry and
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Elaine lean</p>
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<p>back in their seats to be able to see the screen</p>
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<p>JERRY: Nah, you don't wanna be uncomfortable.</p>
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<p>[Street: Queens]</p>
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<p>Deena and George are still talking. Pop is under the hood of George's
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car. Bangs</p>
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<p>and clanks can be heard as he fiddles with the mechanics.</p>
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<p>DEENA: Poor Lloyd.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I know. Completely bonkers!</p>
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<p>DEENA: Sorry I can't be so flip about this kind of thing. You know, after
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what</p>
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<p>happened to Pop.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Pop? What happened to Pop?</p>
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<p>DEENA: I thought you heard. He had a nervous breakdown last year. That's
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why I'm</p>
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<p>taking care of him.</p>
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<p>Pop comes out momentarily.</p>
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<p>POP: Oh, I tell you, they don't build 'em like this any more.</p>
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<p>He goes back under the hood.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (a little worried) He uh, he doesn't have the auto shop any more?</p>
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<p>DEENA: Uhn, it was too much for him.</p>
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<p>Pop is thumping away at part of the engine with a spanner.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (very worried) Uhm, I, I gotta go.</p>
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<p>DEENA: What?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I just remembered, I gotta be someplace. Yuh-hu-hur, that's enough.
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Pop.</p>
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<p>Pop, put down the wrench, Pop.</p>
|
|
<p>[Alex Theatre: Auditorium]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and Lloyd sits side by side in the special seats, watching Spartacus.</p>
|
|
<p>They're smiling happily.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry and Elaine lean uncomfortably back in their front-row seats. They're
|
|
both</p>
|
|
<p>eating popcorn. Elaine drops a piece onto her blouse, where it rests
|
|
next to a</p>
|
|
<p>fancy button. She retrieves the corn, and dislodges the button without
|
|
noticing.</p>
|
|
<p>The button falls to the floor where it rests among other detritus.</p>
|
|
<p>[George's Car]</p>
|
|
<p>George is driving along the road in his Le Baron. Over the usual engine
|
|
noise</p>
|
|
<p>can be heard a metallic rasping, grinding noise. George listens for a
|
|
few</p>
|
|
<p>moments, wondering where it's coming from. Then he looks concerned, then
|
|
angry.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Pop! POP!!</p>
|
|
<p>[Alex Theatre: Lobby]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and Jerry stand in the lobby. Kramer smoking his pipe, Jerry massaging</p>
|
|
<p>his neck. Lloyd wanders over to join them.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: 's a great movie, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Sorry you forgot those glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't know what I was thinking.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: How'd you like that gum?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (noncommittal) Errh.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (slapping Jerry on the back) Ah, he loved it.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine enters. In the absence of the button she lost in the auditorium,
|
|
her</p>
|
|
<p>blouse is open to below her breasts, and everything's in the shop window.
|
|
Not</p>
|
|
<p>that she knows it.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hey Kramer, you know what? There, there isn't a light there,
|
|
in the</p>
|
|
<p>ladies' room.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, yeah. It's being repaired.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine is suffering with her neck. She rolls her head back and feels
|
|
the back of</p>
|
|
<p>her neck with her hand.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh. Oh God.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: You alright?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine stretches her back and neck, at the same time pushing her upperworks
|
|
into</p>
|
|
<p>greater prominence.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Ah, I sat too close to the screen. Oh. I just gotta stretch out
|
|
in a hot</p>
|
|
<p>bath. It was nice to see you again, Lloyd.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine leaves. Kramer and Lloyd both stare after her.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street Outside Alex]</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine walks down the sidewalk, her blouse still open. A florist is using
|
|
a hose</p>
|
|
<p>to wash down the sidewalk in front of his store. Elaine carefully steps
|
|
by,</p>
|
|
<p>picking her way past. The florist also stares at Elaine's exposure.</p>
|
|
<p>A cop stands a little further down the street. Elaine approaches him.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Officer. Officer, is there some reason this man has to always
|
|
be using a</p>
|
|
<p>hose? I mean, he's flooding the sidewalk. It's a waste of water. Couldn't
|
|
he</p>
|
|
<p>just use a broom?</p>
|
|
<p>The cop stares at Elaine's breasts the whole time she's talking.</p>
|
|
<p>COP: Lady, you sold me. (strides toward florist) Hey, you with the hose.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine looks confused about his attitude. She glances down, and notices
|
|
her</p>
|
|
<p>blouse wide open. She quickly pulls her coat closed, to hide her embarrassment,</p>
|
|
<p>and hurries away.</p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's Apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer is handing Jerry a pair of spectacles.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, put these glasses on.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (taking them) Well, what's this for?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, well Lloyd, he's gonna be here any minute now.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So what?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, he thinks you wear those.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry looks at the glasses with some distaste.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: They're from the lost and found at the Alex.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Aw, c'mon Kramer, this is ridiculous. I'm not gonna put these
|
|
on.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh. Okay. So he'll just think that the two of you didn't sit
|
|
with him on</p>
|
|
<p>purpose. Ooh yeah, that's very nice. Very nice.</p>
|
|
<p>[Monk's]</p>
|
|
<p>George leans on the counter by the cash register, behind which sits Ruthie</p>
|
|
<p>Cohen.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: 'scuse me. I uh, I was in here this morning and uh, I believe
|
|
I paid you</p>
|
|
<p>with a twenty dollar bill, (smiles) but you only gave me change for a
|
|
ten.</p>
|
|
<p>CASHIER: I don't think so.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, I think so, and I can prove it. You see, I was doodling on
|
|
the bill</p>
|
|
<p>and uh, so if you have a twenty in there with big lips on it... well,
|
|
(smiles)</p>
|
|
<p>that's mine. Would you mind opening up the register?</p>
|
|
<p>CASHIER: Not unless you buy something.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Fine, I'll buy a pack of gum.</p>
|
|
<p>Lloyd approaches the register to pay for something. The cashier rings
|
|
up</p>
|
|
<p>George's purchase.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Hey George. Thought you didn't chew gum?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I don't.</p>
|
|
<p>Ruthie opens the drawer on the register.</p>
|
|
<p>CASHIER: Take a look.</p>
|
|
<p>George goes round to the other side of the register and picks up all
|
|
the</p>
|
|
<p>twenty-dollar bills. He shuffles through them, examining them for doodles.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I know I gave it to you.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: George, would you mind. I'm kind of in a hurry.</p>
|
|
<p>In addition to Lloyd, another customer is waiting to pay.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (frustrated) Fine. Fine. (to customer) Excuse me. (heading for
|
|
the door)</p>
|
|
<p>Think I'm gonna forget about this? I haven't forgotten about this. I
|
|
don't</p>
|
|
<p>forget that easily!</p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's Apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry is reading a newspaper, and holding it in such a way as to conceal
|
|
his</p>
|
|
<p>face.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey, Jerry, look who's here.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry folds over the top half of the paper, in order to see his visitor.
|
|
He also</p>
|
|
<p>reveals to all that he is wearing the spectacles Kramer gave him earlier.</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ah, Lloyd.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Hi Jerry. Got some more of that gum.</p>
|
|
<p>He proffers the packet to Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (unenthusiastic) Oh, the gum.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, let's all enjoy a chew, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (still not happy) Uh, alright. (he takes a piece)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, boy.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and Lloyd sit on the couch. All of them start chewing on the gum.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Now see, this is what the holidays are all about. Three buddies,
|
|
sitting</p>
|
|
<p>around, chewing gum, huh? Mmm, mmm, yeah. So uh, you know, Lloyd, he
|
|
thinks he</p>
|
|
<p>can get more of this.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry makes a show of removing his glasses and cleaning them.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, Lloyd's a very industrious fellow. I'm sure he can accomplish</p>
|
|
<p>anything he sets his mind to.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry puts his glasses back on.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Actually, the importer's right in Chinatown. I'll introduce you
|
|
to him,</p>
|
|
<p>you can get it whenever you want.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: 's not necessary.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey, Jerry, you know, Lloyd wants to do you a favour.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I know that, Kramer.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Well, if you don't want to...</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: No, sure sure, he wants to. It's very kind of you. Yeah, Jerry,
|
|
he</p>
|
|
<p>appreciates it. Don't you, Jerry?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yes I do, Kramer.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: So...</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah?</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: How about that Elaine today, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, baby, what was that all about, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: (to Jerry) She was practically undressing in front of me at the
|
|
theatre.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I didn't see anything.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, you uh, really missed a show, buddy. Wooh, ba-boom,</p>
|
|
<p>ba-boom-ba-ba-ba-boom-ba.</p>
|
|
<p>They continue to chew on the gum. Lloyd seemingly happily, Jerry clearly
|
|
not</p>
|
|
<p>liking it, and Kramer not liking it, but unwilling to show it to Lloyd.</p>
|
|
<p>[Park]</p>
|
|
<p>George and Deena sit on a bench.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: You're probably wondering why I wanted to see you again.</p>
|
|
<p>George clearly thinks he's clicked.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, you know. (grins, snorts) It's understandable.</p>
|
|
<p>He pats Deena on the knee.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: I'm glad you feel that way. Because since my father's breakdown
|
|
I uh,</p>
|
|
<p>become very sensitive to the warning signs.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Warning signs?</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: Nervousness, irritability, paranoia.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (disbelief) What? (laugh) Wh... what're you talking about? I'm
|
|
not the</p>
|
|
<p>one with the problem. (defensive) Lloyd Braun was in the nuthouse, not
|
|
me.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: Yet again, taking pleasure in the misfortunes of others.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: All my friends do that.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: George, I'm only trying to help...</p>
|
|
<p>George is staring past Deena at something a short distance away.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: I'm... I'm concerned. George? George, are you listening to me?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You see that woman on the horse? (points)</p>
|
|
<p>Ruthie Cohen is passing by on horseback.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: She stole twenty dollars from me. (getting angry) Yeah, I might've</p>
|
|
<p>gotten it back, but Lloyd Braun interfered!</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: So again it all comes back to Lloyd.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (rising to his feet) Hey! Hey, you! (setting off after her) Come
|
|
back</p>
|
|
<p>here!! Don't gallop away!!</p>
|
|
<p>George runs away, yelling after the retreating Ruthie Cohen.</p>
|
|
<p>[Monk's]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry and George sit in a booth. There's a different cashier on duty.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So you say she was on a horse?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'm telling you, that cashier is riding horses on my money.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, here's what I propose. Go down to the stables, snoop around.
|
|
See if</p>
|
|
<p>any high-flying cashier's been throwing twenty dollar bills around with
|
|
big</p>
|
|
<p>lips.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine enters.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hey.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, if it isn't Chesty La Rue.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (sits beside Jerry) What?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I was chewing gum with Lloyd Braun, and he was bragging about
|
|
the</p>
|
|
<p>peepshow you gave him at the Alex.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (laughing it away) Oh God. I lost a button, so my blouse was
|
|
wide open.</p>
|
|
<p>I musta left it at the theatre.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Maybe it's in the lost and found.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, I know. I have to go check it out. It's a beautiful button
|
|
too,</p>
|
|
<p>you know. It's antique ivory. It was my mother's.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You know, the way you were wolfing down that popcorn, maybe you
|
|
ate it.</p>
|
|
<p>[Alex Theatre: Lobby]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer greets a small elderly gent.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Mr Har-harwood. Well, what an unexpected surprise to have you
|
|
back at</p>
|
|
<p>the Alex Theatre.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Well I, I'm in a bit of a quandary. I've misplaced my spectacles.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, let's look in lost and found, shall we?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer ducks behind the counter to retrieve the lost and found box.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: They're half-glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer pops his head up, a thought having occurred.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Brown?</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Mmm, yes, yes.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer places the cardboard box marked 'Lost and Found' on the counter.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uh, yeah. Ah, well if they're not in the box, I'm sure they'll
|
|
turn up</p>
|
|
<p>soon. Listen, could you keep an eye on the place? I wanna go out and
|
|
get some</p>
|
|
<p>paraffin wax, and bring out the lustre of this vintage countertop.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Certainly.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer leaves. Haarwood begins to rummage through the contents of the
|
|
box. After</p>
|
|
<p>a few seconds, he finds something. He lifts it out for a closer look.
|
|
It's the</p>
|
|
<p>button Elaine dropped earlier.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Oh my goodness. What a spanking button.</p>
|
|
<p>[George's Car: Street Outside Alex]</p>
|
|
<p>George starts his car. It's still making unhealthy noises.</p>
|
|
<p>As he sits with the engine running, a car pulls up in the street behind
|
|
him. The</p>
|
|
<p>driver sounds the horn at George as he sits in his parking spot.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (glances in mirror) Alright. Alright.</p>
|
|
<p>The horn sounds again.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (getting annoyed) Hang on, it's warming up!</p>
|
|
<p>The horn sounds several more times, impatiently. George has had enough.
|
|
He</p>
|
|
<p>climbs out of his car.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (angrily) Oh you mother...</p>
|
|
<p>George stalks round his car and up to the driver's window of the car
|
|
sounding</p>
|
|
<p>its horn.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Hey! What is your problem?</p>
|
|
<p>The driver rolls down the window, and we see Ruthie Cohen.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, hello, it's you! (angry) Listen lady, I got six minutes left
|
|
on that</p>
|
|
<p>meter, and I'm not budging til you admit you stole my twenty dollars.
|
|
(smug)</p>
|
|
<p>Huh-hu-hur, you're not so tough when you're not on your horse, are you
|
|
Ruthie?</p>
|
|
<p>CASHIER: Your car's on fire.</p>
|
|
<p>The reflection of leaping flames can be seen in Ruthie's window. George
|
|
dashes</p>
|
|
<p>off back to his car.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Aah! Fire!</p>
|
|
<p>CASHIER: (after George) Merry Christmas!</p>
|
|
<p>Flames are coming from under the hood of the Le Baron.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (shouting) Fire!!</p>
|
|
<p>The florist is standing holding a broom. George rushes to him.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Your hose! Where's your hose?!</p>
|
|
<p>FLORIST: Cop made me disconnect it.</p>
|
|
<p>George grabs the broom from the florist, and begins beating at the flames
|
|
with</p>
|
|
<p>no effect. After a few seconds, the broom is alight.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street Outside Alex]</p>
|
|
<p>The whole front of George's car is burnt out. The plastic body parts
|
|
have melted</p>
|
|
<p>away. The hood is wide open, showing the devastation within. George stands,</p>
|
|
<p>holding the charred remnants of the broom. He's staring catatonically
|
|
at the</p>
|
|
<p>damage. Kramer walks up and does a double-take at the sight.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Jeez! What happened to your car, buddy?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: The Jon Voight car is no more.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Wow. Well, don't you sweat it. You can use my car any time you
|
|
want to.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No kidding?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: No kidding.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Hey, thanks. I owe you a big one.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, merry Christmas.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer walks on.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (staring at the wreck) Whatever.</p>
|
|
<p>[Alex Theatre: Lobby]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry is waiting. He's wearing the glasses from earlier.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright, I'm here. Where's Braun?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: What, he's not here yet?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Look, I'll go downtown to Chinatown with him, but that is it!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Listen, I'm gonna need those glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer reaches across and plucks the glasses from Jerry's face.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Why?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: They're Geoffrey Haarwood's.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer rummages in lost and found, and brings out another pair of spectacles.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (proffering) Here, try this pair.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry puts them on. The lenses are much stronger than the first pair
|
|
- they're</p>
|
|
<p>like bottle-bottoms. He stares through them, his eyes magnified hugely.
|
|
It's</p>
|
|
<p>obvious he can't see at all clearly.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Aw, these are really strong glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>He takes a step and almost trips over the counter.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Hey gum-buddy. Nice frames. You ready to go?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (lacking enthusiasm) Yeah, yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (clapping Jerry on the back) Oh yeah, he's all ready to go.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Anybody see Elaine today?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh yeah, she called a little earlier. She's coming over to check
|
|
out</p>
|
|
<p>lost and found.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Maybe I'll stick around and see what she's wearing today. Or not
|
|
wearing,</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>if you know what I mean.</p>
|
|
<p>They chuckle.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Absolutely. Let's just stick around.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Ah, tell you what, they're expecting us though. Lemme just grab
|
|
a hotdog</p>
|
|
<p>here.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uh, yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>Lloyd goes to the counter, and speaks to the attendant.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: I'd like a hotdog, please.</p>
|
|
<p>The attendant looks to the machine, which contains one hotdog. The appearance
|
|
of</p>
|
|
<p>the article is not pleasant. It's wrinkled, shriveled, and generally</p>
|
|
<p>disgusting.</p>
|
|
<p>ATTENDANT: Are you outta your mind?</p>
|
|
<p>Hearing this, Kramer dashes over.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Wh...wh...wh... what's the problem here?</p>
|
|
<p>ATTENDANT: This hotdog's been here since the silent era. You'd have to
|
|
be insane</p>
|
|
<p>to eat it.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: No, no, no, no, no. This man is not insane. Now there's nothing
|
|
wrong</p>
|
|
<p>with it or you.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Kramer, maybe...</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: No, no, no, no. I'll show you. (slams a bill down on the counter)
|
|
One</p>
|
|
<p>hotdog please.</p>
|
|
<p>ATTENDANT: (on your head be it) Okay.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Mmm, doesn't that smell good, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>The attendant hands over the hotdog.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, here we go, yeah. (he takes a big bite) Mmm, oh. That's
|
|
delicious.</p>
|
|
<p>Mmm. It's a perfectly sane food to eat. (he takes another bite)</p>
|
|
<p>As he chews, it begins to be apparent that all is not as it should be
|
|
with the</p>
|
|
<p>hotdog.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uhm, interesting texture. It's chewy. (he half-coughs, half-retches)
|
|
I</p>
|
|
<p>gotta get, some air.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer stumbles toward the exit, bits of half-chewed hotdog falling from
|
|
his</p>
|
|
<p>mouth.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street Outside Alex]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer walks stiffly along the sidewalk. He's breathing heavily, and
|
|
loosening</p>
|
|
<p>his collar. He walks by the florist, who is brushing the sidewalk again.
|
|
As</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer passes George's car, his struggle with the rancid hotdog ends
|
|
with the</p>
|
|
<p>hotdog triumphant, and he leans into the gutter behind the Le Baron and
|
|
vomits</p>
|
|
<p>copiously. The florist looks rueful, leans his broom against his door,
|
|
and</p>
|
|
<p>fetches his hose, whilst Kramer continues his refunding.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street Outside Alex: Later]</p>
|
|
<p>The florist is hosing away the traces of Kramer's visit. Elaine walks
|
|
up to him.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Excuse me. 'scuse me, weren't you told to stop using that hose?</p>
|
|
<p>FLORIST: How would you happen to know that?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Well, uhm... I...</p>
|
|
<p>FLORIST: (accusing) You're that lady that was talking to the cops, aren't
|
|
you?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Uh... I...</p>
|
|
<p>A voice calls from across the street.</p>
|
|
<p>VOICE (O.C.): Hey, Joe!</p>
|
|
<p>The florist turns to see who's shouting. As he does, he raises the nozzle
|
|
of his</p>
|
|
<p>hose, so instead of hosing the sidewalk, he sprays Elaine.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, wait! You're soaking me, you're soaking me!</p>
|
|
<p>The florist notices what he's done and turns off the hose.</p>
|
|
<p>[Alex Theatre: Lobby]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry sits beside Kramer, who still looks unwell. Lloyd stands comforting</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer. Elaine enters. She has removed her jacket, and is wearing a wringing
|
|
wet</p>
|
|
<p>t-shirt.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hey. Hey everybody.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Whoah, Elaine! Once again, you've managed to top yourself. C'mon
|
|
Jerry,</p>
|
|
<p>let's go. Car's out front.</p>
|
|
<p>Lloyd leaves. Jerry stands and peers about himself through the over-strength</p>
|
|
<p>glasses. All he can make out are vague blurred shapes.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Lloyd?</p>
|
|
<p>He moves across the lobby, slowly, holding his hands out to feel for
|
|
obstacles.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Lloyd?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry leaves.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: (exasperated) What is Lloyd's problem?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Look, honey, I know you're trying to get Lloyd to notice you,
|
|
but this</p>
|
|
<p>is too much. Parading around in a wet T-shirt.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Uhh, I got sprayed with a hose.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, well, I'm sorry, but the Alex is a family theatre, not
|
|
one of your</p>
|
|
<p>swing joints.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine casts her eyes heavenward.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street Outside Alex]</p>
|
|
<p>The remains of George's car are being towed away. On the opposite side
|
|
of the</p>
|
|
<p>road, watching, are Deena and George.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: So, you want my father to pay for this?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You saw him. He was fiddling with the engine. God knows what
|
|
he did</p>
|
|
<p>there.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: And I suppose Lloyd Braun had something to do with it too.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, not Lloyd Braun. But the cashier.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: What cashier?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You remember the woman on the horse? She wanted my spot.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: To park her horse?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, she wasn't on the horse.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: So, your car caught fire because of my father and the woman on
|
|
the horse?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: That's right.</p>
|
|
<p>Across the street, the florist is outside his store, arranging flowers.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (points) And him!</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: The man with the flowers?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, the flower guy. Listen, I know this all sounds a
|
|
little</p>
|
|
<p>crazy, but...</p>
|
|
<p>A car pulls up beside George and Deena. George looks in the window.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I can't believe it. Look, that's Jerry Seinfeld.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: Who?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Jerry Seinfeld. My best friend. He can explain all of this. (calls
|
|
to</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry) Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry hears his name called and turns his head, but all he can see are
|
|
blurry</p>
|
|
<p>colored shapes.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Jerry! Over here Jerry. It's me!</p>
|
|
<p>The car pulls away, leaving George calling after it.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Jerry, where y'going? It's... what're...</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: (doubtful) That was your best friend?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, but he doesn't wear glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: That man was wearing glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I know. Don't you see. (emphatic) He was doing it to fool Lloyd
|
|
Braun!</p>
|
|
<p>[Lloyd Braun's Car]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry and Lloyd have reached Chinatown. Lloyd parks the car.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: I'll run in and get the gum.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Got any money?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry digs his wallet out of his pocket. He opens it and extracts a bill.
|
|
He</p>
|
|
<p>peers at it, trying to work out what denomination it is, but the glasses
|
|
are</p>
|
|
<p>still too strong.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (handing it over) Here.</p>
|
|
<p>Lloyd takes the bill, looks at it, smiles a little with surprise.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: (climbing out of the car) I'll be back.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street]</p>
|
|
<p>George and Deena walk along together.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Look, Deena, I know you think I'm crazy, but I'm not. This is
|
|
just a</p>
|
|
<p>series of bad coincidences.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: I don't know, George. I don't know what to believe.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Believe me, I am not crazy.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: Well, I guess it's possible.</p>
|
|
<p>[Lloyd Braun's Car]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry sits waiting. Lloyd gets in. He has a stack of six boxes, which
|
|
he hands</p>
|
|
<p>to Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Here y'go.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (indistinct) Got all this?</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Yeah. A hundred dollar's worth.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (incredulous) I gave you a hundred dollars?!</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: You sure did. Am I crazy, or is that a lotta gum?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It's a lotta gum!</p>
|
|
<p>[The Institute]</p>
|
|
<p>The room is festooned with props and costumes from old movies.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Mr Hararwood. Found your glasses.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Oh, splendid. Welcome to the Institute for the Preservation
|
|
of Motion</p>
|
|
<p>Picture Costumes and Wardrobe.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Ah, the I.P.M.P.C.W.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Well eh, we prefer to call it the Institute.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer notices a particular costume.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Is that from Henry the Eighth?</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Yes, yes, it is.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, you know, we're screening that tonight at the Alex. Do
|
|
you think</p>
|
|
<p>that I could wear that to promote the theatre?</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Well, I... I'd love to lend it to you, but I doubt if it would
|
|
fit a</p>
|
|
<p>man of your impressive, Raymond Massey-like, physique. The only person
|
|
who could</p>
|
|
<p>really fit into this costume, would have to be a short, stocky, man of
|
|
somewhat</p>
|
|
<p>generous proportions.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (an idea occurs) You don't say.</p>
|
|
<p>[Street]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and George walk together. George is wearing the Henry VIII costume
|
|
-</p>
|
|
<p>doublet and hose, cloak, crown, etc.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: You're really helping me out with this, buddy. Kids are gonna
|
|
be so</p>
|
|
<p>thrilled.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. You really cashed in on that favor pretty quick.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Remember, you're a king, you must project a Royal bearing.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (angry undertone) Oh, I'm gonna give you a Royal bearing. Wait
|
|
a minute,</p>
|
|
<p>wait a minute. Lemme get a pack of gum here.</p>
|
|
<p>He gets his wallet from under the cape, and goes to the window of a kiosk.</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd04 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (handing over a bill) Can I get a pack of gum, please?</p>
|
|
<p>GUY: I beg your pardon, your majesty, but we don't accept bills with
|
|
lipstick on</p>
|
|
<p>the president.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: What? Huh, so I had it all along. How d'you like that? (snorts)
|
|
I guess</p>
|
|
<p>I owe that cashier an apology.</p>
|
|
<p>Deena is walking toward George and Kramer. She sees George in his costume
|
|
and</p>
|
|
<p>jumps to the obvious conclusion.</p>
|
|
<p>DEENA: Oh my God!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, no. Deena, it's not what you think.</p>
|
|
<p>Deena turns and begins to walk away.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Th... this isn't mine.</p>
|
|
<p>George begins to walk after Deena, who accelerates to a trot.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I got it from the Institute. The Institute.</p>
|
|
<p>Deena breaks into a run, with George chasing her.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: (shouting) Dee... Deena!</p>
|
|
<p>[Alex Theatre: Lobby]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer stands behind the counter, upon which Elaine leans. Mr Haarwood
|
|
enters.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Ahh, Mr Haarwood. Well, you certainly know how to dress for a
|
|
premiere.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Well, thank you. Uh, where is your friend King Henry?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, he ran away.</p>
|
|
<p>Lloyd enters.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: Hey Kramer.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I need to talk to you.</p>
|
|
<p>Lloyd and Kramer go away to the side of the lobby, where they go into
|
|
a quiet</p>
|
|
<p>conversation. Elaine is peering over at Mr Haarwood, and in particular
|
|
at the</p>
|
|
<p>button he's wearing on his cravat.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You know, that button looks very familiar.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Yes, it, it, it's antique ivory.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I, I think that's my button. (wanders over to Haarwood) You know,
|
|
I've</p>
|
|
<p>been looking all over for it. Did, did you find it here?</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Yes, it was in the lost and found.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Shall I undo it?</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: Oh yes, of course you can.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, thank you.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine moves very close to Mr Haarwood, and reaches under his chin to
|
|
remove the</p>
|
|
<p>button.</p>
|
|
<p>HAARWOOD: I'm a little ticklish.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh. (giggly) Tickle, tickle.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and Lloyd are both staring over at the sight of Elaine tickling
|
|
Mr</p>
|
|
<p>Haarwood under the chin, giggling, apparently flirting.</p>
|
|
<p>LLOYD: We've really gotta get the Elaine a boyfriend.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, tell me about it.</p>
|
|
<p>[END]
|
|
|
|
|
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