871 lines
46 KiB
HTML
871 lines
46 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Hot Tub</h1>
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<p>transcript by Paulo G.G. Moreira (PGM09@yahoo.com)</p>
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<p>Portugal, 07.Jun.1999</p>
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<p>originally broadcast 19.Oct.95 - 7th season</p>
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<p>written by Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin </p>
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<p>directed by Andy Ackerman </p>
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<p>Jerry Seinfeld .................... [ Jerry Seinfeld ] </p>
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<p>Julia Louis-Dreyfus ............... [ Elaine Benes ]</p>
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<p>Michael Richards .................. [ Cosmo Kramer ]</p>
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<p>Jason Alexander ................... [ George Costanza ] </p>
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<p>Richard Herd .......................[ Mr.Wilhelm ]</p>
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<p>Jeremiah Birkett .................. [ Jean-Paul ]</p>
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<p>Leon Russom ....................... [ Clayton ]</p>
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<p>Ernie Lively ...................... [ Zeke ]</p>
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<p>Charles Cyphers ................... [ Gardner ]</p>
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<p>Susan Isaacs ...................... [ Judy ]</p>
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<p>Thom Barry ........................ [ Manager ]</p>
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<p>Jeff Miller ....................... [ Event Guard ]</p>
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<p></p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> (Jerry's stand-up)</p>
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<p>I always feel bad for the silver medal winner in the Olympics.</p>
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<p>How do you live with that the rest of your life? People are gonna
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keep asking: </p>
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<p>- How much did you lose by? </p>
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<p>- I don't even know...! It was like...(very fast) now.now...now.now..now..was
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like, like...</p>
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<p>now..now..now...!</p>
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<p>It was it...! Eh, it was it and I lost. I trained, I worked out,
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I exercised, I did everything,</p>
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<p>I was doing push-ups, sit-ups, I never did anything but exercise
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and work out for 20 years, I </p>
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<p>flew half way around the world and aaaaaaaaaah!...(showing a tiny
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distance between his index</p>
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<p>and thumb) And that was...it was a photo-finish! Silver...(stretching
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his neck forward)...gold.</p>
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<p>If I had a pimple, I would've won.</p>
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<p> (Monk's Restaurant - Jerry, George, Elaine)</p>
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<p>Jerry: (to Elaine) I can't believe you write for this J.Peterman
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catalog.</p>
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<p>(to George) Get this one: "I packed my rod and reel. 30 hours
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later, lost in the fiord, a</p>
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<p>welcoming smile. Thank god she spotted the epaulettes on my Norwegian
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ice-fishing vest". </p>
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<p>George: This catalog is all about how to score in a foreign country.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah. What do you do all day?</p>
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<p>George: Not that much.</p>
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<p>Elaine: uh-uh.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I thought that new promotion was supposed to be a lot more
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work.</p>
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<p>George: Yeah, when the season starts. Right now, I sit around pretending
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that I'm busy.</p>
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<p>Jerry: How do you pull that off?</p>
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<p>George: I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all
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the time, people think that you're</p>
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<p>busy. Think about it... (acts annoyed for 3 seconds).</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah, you do! He looks very busy!</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah, he looks busy! Yeah!</p>
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<p>George: I know what I'm doin'. In fact Mr. Wilhelm gave me one
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of those little stress dolls.</p>
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<p>All right. (gets up) Back to work. (acts annoyed and leaves)</p>
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<p>Elaine: (laughs)</p>
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<p>Jerry: So did you come up with a little stupid story for the Himalayan
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walking shoe yet?</p>
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<p>Elaine: No. I'm completely blocked! In fact, I'm gonna work on
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it tonight. Oh. Oh no! Oh, I can't!</p>
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<p>I got that marathon runner coming in tonight.</p>
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<p>Jerry: What marathon runner?</p>
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<p>Elaine: You know, this guy Jean-Paul, Jean-Paul... I met him when
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I was working at Pendant,</p>
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<p>editing a book on running... </p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh, wait! Jean-Paul, Jean-Paul! Isn't he the guy who overslept
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at the Olympics 4 years ago</p>
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<p>and missed the marathon?!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah, that's him.</p>
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<p>Jerry: He's from uh...Trinidad and Tobago, right?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah, he's Trinidadian and...Tobagan. (laughs)</p>
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<p>Jerry: How do you oversleep at the Olympics...?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Ah, I know. I know...!</p>
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<p>Jerry: I mean, it's like the biggest event of your life! You'd
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think you'd have, like, 6 alarm</p>
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<p>clocks, payin'-off little kids in the village to come banging on
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your door...</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah, well, he was pretty devastated. This is his first
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race in 3 years.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah...that's a big responsability on your hands.</p>
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<p>Elaine: What responsibility? I don't have any responsibility.</p>
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<p>Jerry: You gotta wake him up!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Eh...he'll get up...</p>
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<p>(A woman passes by with a baby)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Hi, Judy.</p>
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<p>Judy: Hi, Elaine. How are you?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Fine. (laughs)</p>
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<p>(woman leaves)</p>
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<p>Jerry: I've seen her in your building.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I didn't know she was married.</p>
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<p>Elaine: (whispering) She's not... and the guy just took off. (makes
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a sad face)</p>
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<p>Don't say anything to anybody.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Whom I gonna tell?</p>
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<p>Elaine: I know, it's just something you have to say...</p>
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<p> (George's office at the Yankee Stadium)</p>
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<p>(George is reading a newspaper when he hears a fly that lands on
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his desk. He tries to kill it </p>
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<p>with the paper but misses. Mr. Wilhelm comes in. George switches
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to annoyed-mode)</p>
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<p>Wilhelm: George, we just got the final budget numbers. We went
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over budget on some of the items,</p>
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<p>but I don't think there's gonna be a problem. (hands over the budget
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file to a very </p>
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<p>annoyed George) I'll let you get back to work, George. (Mr. Wilhelm
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leaves the office)</p>
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<p>(George hears the fly again. It lands on the wall and he starts
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bashing it with the file.</p>
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<p>Mr. Wilhelm sees George hitting the wall with the budget file and
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shakes his head, worried)</p>
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<p> (Jerry's apartment - Jerry, George)</p>
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<p>Jerry: He overslept and missed the whole race. Isn't that amazing?</p>
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<p>George: I'll tell you what happened. I bet he got the AM/PM mixed-up.</p>
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<p>Jerry: My money's on the snooze. I bet he hit the snooze for an
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extra 5 and it never came back</p>
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<p>on. (Kramer enters with a bucket and starts filling it with water
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on the sink)</p>
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<p>Imagine your whole life riding on an alarm clock.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Alarm clocks? I never use 'em. Don't trust 'em.</p>
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<p>Jerry: What do you do?</p>
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<p>Kramer: I have a uh...mental alarm. I set my head for... quarter
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to seven and...</p>
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<p>(makes sound with the lips - "pop!") ...I get up!</p>
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<p>Jerry: Always works?</p>
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<p>Kramer: It never fails. See, it's based on your body clock. See,
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your body has an internal</p>
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<p>mechanism. It knows what time it is.</p>
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<p>George: uh-uh. What's with the bucket?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Lomez, he sold me his hot tub.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hot tub?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Yeah yeah, it's in my living room. I just gotta fill it.
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(points to bucket)</p>
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<p>George: You put a hot tub... in your living room?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Oh, it's a beauty! It's got these high-volume aqua-sage
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jets oscillating and pulsating, </p>
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<p>soothing your every aching muscle. The water's gonna get over 120
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degrees! (happy)</p>
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<p>George: Is that tolerable?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Oh...it's tolerable...! (happy)</p>
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<p>Jerry: Isn't that the same temperature the coffee that scalded
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you?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Oh, I think it's a little cooler than that... (smiles and
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leaves)</p>
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<p>George: He uh...doesn't have any running water?</p>
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<p>Jerry: I don't ask those kind of questions anymore.</p>
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<p> (Monk's Restaurant - Jerry)</p>
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<p>(Elaine and Jean-Paul come in)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Jerry. Jerry, this is Jean-Paul.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah, hi Jean-Paul. Nice to meet you.</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Nice to meet you.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Sorry about the Olympics.</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Me too. (disappointed)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Listen, listen I'm gonna go call work to see if I can get
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my deadline extended.</p>
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<p>I can't...come up with anything for this thing.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah...catalog writer's block?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah, that's funny. (annoyed)</p>
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<p>(Elaine leaves)</p>
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<p>Jerry: (pause) So what happened? The snooze alarm, wasn't it?</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Man, it wasn't the snooze. Most people think it was
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the snooze, but no, no snooze.</p>
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<p>Jerry: AM/PM.</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Man, it wasn't the AM/PM. It was the volume.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah...the volume.</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Yes, the volume. There was a separate knob for the radio
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alarm.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah, separate knob.</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Yes, separate knob. Why separate knob?! Why separate
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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knob?! (frustrated)</p>
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<p>Jerry: Some people like to have the radio alarm a little louder
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than the radio. </p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Oh, please, man, please!</p>
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<p>Jerry: Don't worry, it's not gonna happen again. Not if I have
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anything to say about it.</p>
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<p>(Elaine returns)</p>
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<p>Jerry: Elaine, what's the alarm clock situation in your house?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Jerry...</p>
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<p>Jerry: It's a simple question...</p>
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<p>Elaine: I've got an alarm, ok?</p>
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<p>Jerry: That old one? Didn't I once miss a flight to Cleveland because
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of that alarm clock?</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Flight to Cleveland?</p>
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<p>Elaine: It works.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Elaine...</p>
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<p>Elaine: It... works!</p>
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<p> (George's office at the Yankee Stadium)</p>
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<p>(George is doing the newspaper's crossword. The pen stops working.)</p>
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<p>George: Eh...come oooon...(starts stabbing the paper with the pen.
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Mr. Wilhelm comes in)</p>
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<p>(George switches to annoyed-mode again)</p>
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<p>Wilhelm: George...I think you may be taking work a little too seriously.</p>
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<p>George: Well...I've got a lot to do!</p>
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<p>Wilhelm: George, I'll tell you what I'd like you to do. I, I'd
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like you to drop everything.</p>
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<p>(George acts annoyed)</p>
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<p>Wilhelm: I have this... fun little assignment I think you'll enjoy.
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There's some reps in from</p>
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<p>the Houston Astros for talks on that interleague play... and I
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want you to show them a</p>
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<p>good time.(George acts like "ok, you're the boss")</p>
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<p> (Jerry's apartment - Jerry)</p>
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<p>(Elaine comes in)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Hey. Sorry I'm late.</p>
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<p>Jerry: You're 40 minutes late. What happened?</p>
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<p>Elaine: I got held up. Do you mind if I heat this muffin up?</p>
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<p>Jerry: No.</p>
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<p>Elaine: What? (Elaine puts her muffin in the microwave and sets
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the timer) What is the problem?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well, you said you were gonna be here at a certain time,
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and you weren't.</p>
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<p>Elaine: uh-uh. uh-uh. And this all means uh...what?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well, means that a man has come from very far away to compete
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in a very difficult race,</p>
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<p>he's put his faith in you, and frankly, I'm a little concerned!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh are you?!</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yes I am.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Hey, I'm not running in the marathon! He is!</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah, I know that!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah, I got enough to think about just tryin' to come up
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with some load o'crap for that</p>
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<p>Himalayan walking shoe! I mean, I've given him a place to stay,
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I'll set an alarm, but</p>
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<p>I'm not gonna turn my life completely upside down for this guy!</p>
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<p>Jerry: I'm not talking about upside down. (Jean-Paul and Kramer
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come in) I'm talking about waking</p>
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<p>him up!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Hey, Jean-Paul.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hey, Jean-Paul. How was your soak? Was a good soak?</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Ah, man, very good soak. The soak o'the year!</p>
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<p>Kramer: (smelling) What's burning?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh! (rushing to the microwave) My muffin! (opens microwave
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door) Oh, shoot! (slams it)</p>
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<p>Jerry: What happened?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh I don't know. I set this thing for 20 seconds.</p>
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<p>Kramer: This was set for 2 minutes. See?</p>
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<p>(Jerry raises his hands in the air, worried)</p>
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<p>Elaine: (pointing at Jerry) Don't say anything! Don't..say..anything!</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: You miss-set the timer...</p>
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<p>Elaine: (leaning against the refrigerator) Jean-Paul, it's not
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my microwave, ok? Ok? All right,</p>
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<p>listen, let's just go. Come on, Jean-Paul, let's go. Let's go.</p>
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<p>Jean-Paul: Ok.</p>
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<p>Elaine: (to Jerry) All right. We'll see you at the race, ok?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah. I hope so ?!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh that's cute! (closes door and exits with Jean-Paul)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Kramer, I'm tellin' you, Elaine doesn't know whatta hell
|
|
she's doin'! I gotta take over</p>
|
|
<p>this whole operation!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Jerry, look how tense you are... You need to take a soak.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm not taking a soak in that human bacteria frat you got
|
|
goin' there.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Come on, I'm tellin' you, it's great. I opened up all the
|
|
windows... the air is cold, the</p>
|
|
<p>tub is boiling hot... It's like Sweden, man. Sweeeeden!</p>
|
|
<p> (Kramer's hot tub)</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>(The water is at 105.F degrees. Kramer takes his robe off and goes
|
|
inside)</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (relaxing) ...oooohhh yeeaaah... aaahhh... (he is really
|
|
enjoying this) </p>
|
|
<p> (in a bar - George and 3 other men, drinking)</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: ...'till this bastard over here says: "let's call
|
|
the sons o'bitches and go visit 'em on</p>
|
|
<p>New York!" (the 3 men laugh)</p>
|
|
<p>George: (smiling) Well, we're certainly glad that you could make
|
|
it.</p>
|
|
<p>Gardner: I like your organization, George. We've been talkin' to
|
|
a really friendly son of a bitch</p>
|
|
<p>in the front office. Wilhelm, I think his name. </p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh yes, Mr.Wilhelm, yeah...</p>
|
|
<p>Gardner: He told us that George Costanza was gonna be takin' us
|
|
bastards out on the town.</p>
|
|
<p>(the 3 men laugh again) I said: "that son of a bitch doesn't
|
|
know what he's got in store</p>
|
|
<p>for him!". (the 3 men laugh once more)</p>
|
|
<p>Zeke: Finish your drink?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh yeah, al-almost. Almost.</p>
|
|
<p>Zeke: Let's get that bastard bring us another round! (waves to
|
|
bartender)</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: You a big drinker, George?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well...maybe not as much as this bastard... (points at
|
|
Zeke, they all laugh) I can</p>
|
|
<p>hold my own! (they all continue laughing and drinking)</p>
|
|
<p> (Kramer's hot tub)</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>(The water is now at 53 degrees. Kramer is asleep inside and he's
|
|
all trembling. He wakes up,</p>
|
|
<p>frozen, making trembling sounds, reaches for his robe and puts
|
|
it on while in the tub.)</p>
|
|
<p> (Monk's Restaurant - Jerry, Jean-Paul)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Jean-Paul, I asked you down here this morning because I'm
|
|
concerned. Concerned that</p>
|
|
<p>tomorrow is perhaps the biggest race of your entire career. And
|
|
the person with whom you</p>
|
|
<p>have chosen to stay... is uh...</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: What are you saying?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm saying "get the hell outta there"! Let me
|
|
put you in a hotel. You'll be comfortable, </p>
|
|
<p>you'll be near the starting line, and most importantly... you'll
|
|
have a wake-up call,</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul! A wake-up call! </p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Wake-up call...</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: These people never fail. They sit in a room with a big clock
|
|
all night long, just waitin'</p>
|
|
<p>to make that call! (George comes in)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: No, I will stay with Elaine. It would be rude.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Hey, you bastards.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hey, how was the meeting?</p>
|
|
<p>George: I really like those sons of bitches.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Sons of bitches?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah! That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either
|
|
a bastard or a son of a bitch.</p>
|
|
<p>Yeah, it's like uh..."boy, that son of a bitch Box can really
|
|
hit, uh?!" (laughs)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Really?!</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah, yeah. That's how they talk in the major league. (laughs)</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer walks in wearing winter coat, scarf, cap, gloves... They
|
|
all look at him very surprised)</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Heeeeey...</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: How many sweaters you got on?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Oh...four. (to waitress) Yeah, could I have a cup o'tea?
|
|
Boiling hot.</p>
|
|
<p>George: What's goin'on?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I fell asleep in the hot tub and the heat pump broke. Water
|
|
went down to 58 degrees.</p>
|
|
<p>I can't get my core temperature back up!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Your core temperature?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (to Jean-Paul) Here, feel my hand. (takes off glove) Yeah,
|
|
feel.</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Phew... this son of a bitch is ice-cold. (smiles)</p>
|
|
<p>(inside an airplane - the 3 men)</p>
|
|
<p>(They are calling George at the Yankee Stadium, while they're drinking
|
|
and laughing in the plane)</p>
|
|
<p>George: Hello?</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: uh...is that you, George? </p>
|
|
<p>George: (laughs) Yeah, it's me. Is this Clayton?</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: Well listen, you son of a bitch! You know where we are?
|
|
30 000 feet above your head, you</p>
|
|
<p>bastard! (the 3 laugh and howl)</p>
|
|
<p>George: What are they doin' lettin' you bastards on an airplane?
|
|
Don't they know that's against</p>
|
|
<p>FAA regulation?</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: (to the other 2 men) Hey, hush up, now! I can't hear him!</p>
|
|
<p>George: Listen. I want you guys to send along those agreements
|
|
the minute you land. Our boys</p>
|
|
<p>can't wait to kick your butts!</p>
|
|
<p>Zeke: (to Clayton) When's that bastard comin' to Houston?</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: Hey, Zeke wants to know when you Yankee bastards are comin'
|
|
to Houston!</p>
|
|
<p>George: You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to
|
|
Houston. Not as long as you </p>
|
|
<p>bastards are running things.</p>
|
|
<p>Clayton: Hey, uh, speak up, George, I can't hear ya!</p>
|
|
<p>George: (Mr.Wilhelm comes in and hears George yelling) You tell
|
|
that son of a bitch no Yankee is</p>
|
|
<p>ever comin' to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running
|
|
things!</p>
|
|
<p>(Mr.Wilhelm comes running, takes the phone from George and hangs
|
|
up)</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: George! George, get a hold of yourself!</p>
|
|
<p>George: Mr.Wilhelm...</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: What's the matter with you?! </p>
|
|
<p>George: Well I-I...</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine's office - Elaine)</p>
|
|
<p>(She's trying to think of a story for the shoes while she's at
|
|
the computer) </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: (thinking and typing) It was a cold winter's night in Timbuktu...
|
|
</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>(hits the keyboard) Oh! This stinks! (grabs a Himalayan walking
|
|
shoe and starts squeezing</p>
|
|
<p>it for inspiration) Oh, come on... come on...!...God! (quits)</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine's building - Jean-Paul, Judy with baby)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>Judy: Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: I'm a friend of Elaine's.</p>
|
|
<p>Judy: Oh, hi.</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: (looks at the baby) oooooh...look at the cute little
|
|
bastard... (the building manager</p>
|
|
<p>comes in) you are mama's little bastard, aren't you? (laughs)</p>
|
|
<p>(Judy goes away angry and Jean-Paul is surprised by that)</p>
|
|
<p>Manager: Whatta hell are you doin' harassing my tenants?</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: (smiling) Oh come on, you son of a bitch. I'm just trying
|
|
to be friendly.</p>
|
|
<p>Manager: All right, that's it! (grabs Jean-Paul and gets him out)
|
|
Let's go!</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: What...but I got a race tomorrow!</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry's apartment at night- Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer is lying on Jerry's sofa, "fully" dressed and
|
|
covered with a blanket. Jerry and George</p>
|
|
<p>come in)</p>
|
|
<p>George: Whoa...it's like a furnace in here!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh whatta hell is goin'on?!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Yeah, I turned up the heat.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Turn up the heat in your apartment! (opens a window)</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I'm freezin'! I just need to get my hot tub running. I'm
|
|
waiting for my new heat pump. </p>
|
|
<p>George: Well what's in this giant box out in the hall?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Uh? Oh that must be it.</p>
|
|
<p>George: It's huge!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Yeah, yeah, I got the biggest one they had. It's industrial
|
|
strength. 16000 BTU's.</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer leaves. The phone rings and Jerry picks it up)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hello?...yeah, I can be there in 10 minutes...you can count
|
|
on me! (hangs up)</p>
|
|
<p>George: (Jerry is going to his bedroom) What?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I got the call...!</p>
|
|
<p>George: Jean-Paul?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: (stops walking) Jean-Paul! (George acts like he scored)</p>
|
|
<p>(hotel - Jerry, Jean-Paul. Sitting in different beds)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Pretty lucky to find this hotel, Jean-Paul. </p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Man, I just want to get some sleep. (gets into bed)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: All right. (picks up the alarm clock) Let's check out the
|
|
clock. Notch good... 6:50...</p>
|
|
<p>volume check. (music playing, he starts swinging) What kinda music
|
|
you wanna wake up to?</p>
|
|
<p>Top 40, classical...</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Man, whatever! (annoyed)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: How about adult contemporary?</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Fine, adult contemporary. Just pick one! (irritated)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: All right...we're going with adult contempo... (puts alarm
|
|
away, gets phone) now...</p>
|
|
<p>the failsafe. The wake-up guy... (dials)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Yes, yes, the wake-up guy.</p>
|
|
<p>Man: (on the phone) Front desk...?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah, this is room 419, I'd like a wake-up call for 6:50
|
|
AM tomorrow morning.</p>
|
|
<p>Man: Yes sir.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's room 419. 6:50 AM. Four...one...niner...</p>
|
|
<p>Man: Yes, I got it sir. You only had to say it once.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I know, but it's a very important wake-up call... and I
|
|
don't wanna take any chances.</p>
|
|
<p>Man: Every wake-up call I make is important. You're no more important
|
|
than any of our guests.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well, I just...don't wanna get into a whole thing with you
|
|
here...</p>
|
|
<p>Man: Are you through? (annoyed)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: ...Yeah I am, but I just...(man hangs-up)</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry pauses thinking)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: humm...</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: What is it...?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I think I offended the wake-up guy...! (worried)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: No, no.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: (gets up) No, no, I did. I think he's got it in for me!</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Man, he doesn't got "in" for you.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What if he doesn't call now out of spite?</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: It is his job!</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry sits down)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: (pause) Not comfortable... (gets up again)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: For God's sake...! (gets up and they start packing)</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine's apartment)</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine comes in)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Jean-Paul? (searching everywhere) Hey Jean-Paul? Jean-Paul?
|
|
(worried) Jean-Paul?!</p>
|
|
<p>Oh man... (calling Jerry's) Oh...machine.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry's Machine: I'm not here, leave a message.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Jerry, Jerry, Jean-Paul's missing! He's alone in the city!
|
|
Call me back. (hangs up)</p>
|
|
<p>(She leaves her apartment and knocks on Judy's door)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Judy, hi, listen...</p>
|
|
<p>Judy: You have got some nerve, Elaine! I told you about that baby
|
|
in confidence!</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh I didn't tell anyone.</p>
|
|
<p>Judy: Well your friend certainly seemed to know all about it. (shuts
|
|
the door)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: ... Jerry! (runs angry to her apartment)</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry's apartment)</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry and Jean-Paul come in)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Feel much better here at my home base, Jean-Paul. It's a
|
|
controlled environment.</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: It's a marathon, you know. 26 miles! I need to get some
|
|
sleep! (lies on the sofa)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hey, believe me, if I'd been with you there in Barcelona...you'd
|
|
be polishing that medal</p>
|
|
<p>right now. (covers Jean-Paul with a blanket)</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Left a comfortable hotel bedroom for this!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That wake-up guy was trouble! All right, I'll be right back.
|
|
(goes knocking on Kramer's)</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer checks the water temperature and then opens the door)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: (shouting) Man that thing is noisy!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (shouting) Yeah yeah, we're cracking along pretty good!
|
|
We're almost up to 80 degrees!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah, listen, do me a favor. Set your mental alarm for 6:30
|
|
and gimme a call.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Yeah, ok. Wait. (concentrates and makes the "pop!"
|
|
sound) Done! (Jerry stares, confused)</p>
|
|
<p>(street at night- Elaine walking and thinking, very worried)</p>
|
|
<p>(the following voices are on Elaine's mind)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: He's put his faith in you. He's put his faith in you.</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: I trust Elaine, she is my friend. I trust Elaine, she
|
|
is my friend.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Frankly, I'm a little concerned.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Ohhh, I'm exhausted. I've been on this street a thousand
|
|
times! It's never looked so</p>
|
|
<p>strange! The faces...so cold! In the distance, a child is crying.
|
|
Fatherless...a bastard</p>
|
|
<p>child, perhaps. My back aches...my heart aches...but my feet (stops
|
|
to look at her feet)</p>
|
|
<p>...my feet are resilient! (a big smile grows in her face, as she
|
|
thinks...) Thank God I </p>
|
|
<p>took off my heels, and put on my... HIMALAYAN WALKING SHOES!!!
|
|
(lifting her arms up in</p>
|
|
<p>the air, in ecstasy, as she says...) Yes!</p>
|
|
<p><br>
|
|
(Jerry's apartment)<br>
|
|
(Two clocks at a table, both 4:02 AM. Jean-Paul's sleeping at the
|
|
sofa)</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer's apartment)</p>
|
|
<p>(4:02 AM. Kramer snores. The heat pump short circuits and blows
|
|
the fuses on the entire building)</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry's apartment)</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry wakes up with the sunlight. Looks at the electric clock,
|
|
which stopped at 4:02)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: 4:02? (Checks his wristwatch) Aaa-aaahhh! Eight forty seven
|
|
Jean-Paul! Wake up! Wake uuuuup!</p>
|
|
<p>(gets out of bedroom, in panic) Jean-Paul! The electricity went
|
|
out! Wake up! Wake up!</p>
|
|
<p>We gotta go! It's 8:47!</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: 8:47!? (jumps out of the sofa)</p>
|
|
<p>(both running around, getting ready to go)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Come on, just put your clothes on! You'll get dressed in
|
|
the car!</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Idiot! I trusted you!</p>
|
|
<p>(Kramer comes in wrapped up in a blanket)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Kramer, what happened to the building?! The electricity
|
|
went out!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Yeah, the heat pump blew all the fuses! </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What happened to your mental alarm?!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I guess I hit the snooze... (Jerry runs by Kramer and Kramer
|
|
falls down)</p>
|
|
<p>(New York marathon)</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry and Jean-Paul try to get to the starting line through a
|
|
crowd)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Make way! I've got-I've got a runner here! Get outta the
|
|
way! Make way! Make way!</p>
|
|
<p>Make way, it's a contender! (an event guard stops them)</p>
|
|
<p>Guard: Hey, hold it!</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: I'm late, man, I'm in the race!</p>
|
|
<p>Guard: Go ahead.</p>
|
|
<p>Jean-Paul: Thank you Jerry, you're a wonderful driver. Fantastic
|
|
route, man!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: All right, go, it's a race! Come on!</p>
|
|
<p>(George Steinbrenner's office at the Yankee Stadium)</p>
|
|
<p>(George comes in)</p>
|
|
<p>George: You wanted to see me, Mr.Steinbrenner?</p>
|
|
<p>Steinbrenner: Yes, George, come in, come in. George, word up's
|
|
you've been cracking under the </p>
|
|
<p>pressure. Can't cope, can't stand the heat. Spit the bit.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh no, Mr.Steinbrenner, I can explain...</p>
|
|
<p>Steinbrenner: Oh we all get a little cuckoo sometimes George, I
|
|
used to be like you. Rating</p>
|
|
<p>personnel 'till they cried, calling managers on the field during
|
|
a game, threatening</p>
|
|
<p>to move the team to New Jersey, just to upset people. Then I found
|
|
a way to relax.</p>
|
|
<p>I've got two words to say to you, George: hot tub. (George looks
|
|
at him, puzzled) </p>
|
|
<p>(New York marathon - Jerry, Elaine, Kramer)</p>
|
|
<p>(They're waiting for the runners to run by. Kramer remains "fully"
|
|
dressed and is carrying a </p>
|
|
<p>thermos with tea).</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm tellin'you, I never told anyone about that baby. I never
|
|
even went near your building! </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Then how did she find out, Jerry?!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Maybe you should check with the rabbi.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (to Elaine) You want some hot tea?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh no, thank you.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Oh. There's some runners. Here they come!</p>
|
|
<p>(The first runner to appear is Jean-Paul)</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>Elaine: There's Jean-Paul! He's up front! He's leading! (jumping)
|
|
Go Jean-Paul!(starts screaming)</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Oh yeah! Yeah! Come on! (starts howling)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Come on, let's go Jean-Paul!</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Go Jean-Paaaaaul!</p>
|
|
<p>(We switch over to Jean-Paul. We hear him breathing. We hear his
|
|
heart beating. Some people offer</p>
|
|
<p>him drinks. Jean-Paul grabs one, Kramer's hot tea, and leaves scene.
|
|
Kramer gets very surprised.</p>
|
|
<p>We then hear Jean-Paul screaming in pain, and it's not hard to
|
|
guess why. Kramer puts on a </p>
|
|
<p>"whatta hell" look, Elaine puts on an "ouch"
|
|
look and Jerry puts on his "it's a shame" one.)</p>
|
|
<p>(Final credits - George and Mr.Steinbrenner inside a hot tub)</p>
|
|
<p>Steinbrenner: How're you enjoying it, George? Melts that tension
|
|
away, doesn't it? You gotta get</p>
|
|
<p>that jet on the good spot. Oh. Oh. Uh. Uh. Yes, that feels good.
|
|
Yes, that's real</p>
|
|
<p>good. Oh yeah, that's where I keep all my tension. Right down to
|
|
that chicken bone.</p>
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<p>Sometimes I get my wife to just stuck her thumb right in there
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like a screwdriver.</p>
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<p>Ya know, the Phillips head, not the flat one. Oh God, those flat
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ones frustrate me.</p>
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<p>You got it in, but it slips out. You put it in again, slips out
|
|
again. You a single</p>
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<p>man, George?</p>
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<p>George: (bored to death) Well, I-I just recently uh...</p>
|
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<p>Steinbrenner: I'll tell you, if you wanna get something wild goin'on
|
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in your life, you get a girl</p>
|
|
<p>and bring her to one o'these things. Just like 4 shots a wild turkey.
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(laughs)</p>
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<p>She'll think you're Hopalong Cassidy. (George starts sliding, until
|
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he gets</p>
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<p>all his head -and glasses- under water, as Steinbrenner keeps talking)
|
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A show, </p>
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<p>about that Mickey Mantle, wasn't it? You know we used to talk.
|
|
I don't think he</p>
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|
<p>liked me very much, you know.</p>
|
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<p></p>
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<p>End of the episode (aprox. 22'40").</p>
|
|
<p>This was my first transcription. Feel free to send comments/corrections
|
|
(PGM09@yahoo.com).</p>
|
|
<p>There's still a lot of Seinfeld episodes to transcript. Get to
|
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work, people.</p>
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<p>
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<p ></p>
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<script type="text/javascript">
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var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
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var bannerSize = 2300;
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var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
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var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
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if (pageType!="SALE" ){
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if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
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for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
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document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
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document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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</div>
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<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
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<script type='text/javascript'>
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var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
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</script>
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<script type='text/javascript'>
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if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
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document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
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}
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</script>
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<script type="text/javascript">
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var _gaq = _gaq || [];
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