894 lines
46 KiB
HTML
894 lines
46 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Jimmy</h1>
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</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
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Anthony Starke [ Jimmy ]</p>
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<p>Robert Katims [ Deensfrei ]</p>
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<p>Mel Torme [ Himself ]</p>
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<p>Alison Armitage [ Cheryl ]</p>
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<p>J.D. Bridges [ Paramedic ]</p>
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<p>Elan Carter [ Receptionist ]</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>The Jimmy transcribed by Mohamel, spelling checked by The News
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Guy (Mike)</p>
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<p>Broadcast on: 16 Mar 95 </p>
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<p>Written by: Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin </p>
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<p>Directed by: Andy Ackerman</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Opening Monologue]</p>
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<p>Buying shoes is one of the great shopping challenges. Have you ever seen<br />
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someone put on new pair of shoes? They turn into a zombie as they start walking<br />
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around the store. "Yeah, these are pretty good.". Then they have that little 1 -<br />
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foot-high mirror there. What is that about? So I can see what cats will think of my<br />
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shoes? What is that angle? Bum passed out on the curb, "Hey, what do you think<br />
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of these? I just got them. I've seen them from that angle myself."</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>The New York Health Club. Jerry, Kramer and George are getting
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dressed</p>
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<p>George: " That guy was amazing, he could dunk and he was my
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height...What </p>
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<p>was his name again?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Jimmy"</p>
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<p>George: "Jimmy, right."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "I dunno how you could forget . He kept reffering to
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himself in the </p>
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<p>third person.</p>
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<p>"Jimmy's under the boards. Jimmy's in the open. Jimmy makes
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the shot."</p>
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<p>George: "Ah! your just mad 'cause we beat ya."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Jerry it's my fault .I couldn't make a shot. These
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losses they stay </p>
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<p>with me. They Fester Jerry.</p>
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<p>Now this is gonna plague me."( Puts on aftershave and cries
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out) </p>
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<p>OH! Mother!!!"</p>
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<p>Jimmy walks in</p>
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<p>George: "HEY! JIMMY!!! ha ha ha........Great game."</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "OH yeah.......Jimmy played pretty good."</p>
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<p>George: "Hey you know , I felt we had like a synergy out there,you
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know, </p>
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<p>like we were really helping each other."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "What d'you got there?"</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "These?"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Yeah"</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "These are Jimmy's training shoes."</p>
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<p>George: "Yeah,yeah yeah yeah! I've seen these.....they sorta
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..they make </p>
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<p>your legs..stronger."</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Oh yeah! Jimmy couldn't jump at all before he got
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these. Jimmy was </p>
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<p>like you (looks at G.)</p>
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<p>Kramer: "They're Plyometric.(sp?)"</p>
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<p>George: "Plyometric?"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Yeah! They isolate the muscles. The muscle has to
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grow....or die."</p>
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<p>George: (to Jimmy) Wh...Where d'you get'em?"</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy sells'em."</p>
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<p>George: "You sell them?"</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Oh yeah! But Jimmy's all out right now. Moving to
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Manhattan set </p>
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<p>Jimmy back a bit."</p>
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<p>George: "Hey listen ,let me give you my card. It's got my
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home number on it. </p>
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<p>I want to buy the first pair when the next shipment comes in."</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "All right"</p>
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<p>George: "All right Jimmy Good talking to ya."</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy'll see you around."</p>
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<p>Jimmy leaves.</p>
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<p>George: "What day is today?....Aw. ..Tuesday! Damn it. I shouldn't
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have </p>
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<p>worked out today. Mr Wilhem has called a big meeting and now I'm
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</p>
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<p>gonna be sweating through the whole thing."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Why. You took a shower?"</p>
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<p>George: "Aahhrgh...it wouldn't take...... long pause, audience
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laughter) </p>
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<p>ten minutes from now, I'll be sweating all over again ,I can feel
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</p>
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<p>it. I'm a human heat pump!"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "You should take cold showers."</p>
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<p>George: "Cold showers? They're for psychotics."</p>
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<p>Kramer "Well I take 'em........They give me a Whooooosh."</p>
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<p>George: "All right, I'll see you guys later."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Aw right."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "So, you're heading home?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "No...Got dental appointment."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Ah! what.. Tim Whatley?</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Yeah!"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Oh yeah.! I got a check up on Thursday."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Oh! How d'you like that?"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "You know.. You really shouldn't brush 24 hours before
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seeing the </p>
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<p>dentist."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "I think that's eat 24 hours before surgery."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Oh no, you got to eat before surgery, you need your
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strength."</p>
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<p>Kramer leaves. Jerry is speechless. </p>
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<p>Scene two: Meeting at Yankee Stadium.</p>
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<p>Wilhem: "I called this meeting because we......have........a
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problem. For </p>
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<p>the last few months someone has been stealing equipment from the
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</p>
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<p>club. Until recently it's been little things, y'know; bases, </p>
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<p>batting helmets, donuts, but two nights ago they pulled the big
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one. "</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>The camera goes back and forth from Wilhem to George who keeps
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pulling on </p>
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<p>his collar he's sweating.</p>
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<p>Wilhem: "They took a pitching machine, a batting cage ,the
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in-field tarp and </p>
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<p>all of Mr Steinbrenner's vitamins.. Now , we have reasons to </p>
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<p>believe it's an inside job."</p>
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<p>George: (still puffing)" Whoa!!"</p>
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<p>Wilhem: "If anybody here knows anything about it I recommend
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strongly </p>
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<p>that...you come forward."</p>
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<p>Wilhem looks at George who's sweating so much it seems he's hiding
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</p>
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<p>something.</p>
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<p>Scene cuts to Tim Whatley's dental office.</p>
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<p>Receptionist: "Dr Whatley's running a little late. If you'd
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like to take a </p>
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<p>seat, I'll call you when he's ready."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "All right."</p>
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<p>Jerry sits down and browses through the magazine on the table and
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</p>
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<p>discovers Tim has Penthouse magazines for patients to read.</p>
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<p>Scene then switches to Jerry's apartment. Elaine is on the phone.</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Elaine: "Oh! Okay. Right. Thanks Mr Pitt....'kay. ..goodbye."</p>
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<p>Elaine: (to Jerry) "Hey ! You want to go see "The Velvet
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Fog".</p>
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<p>Jerry: "The Velvet fog?"</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Yeah! Mel Torm, That's his nickname."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "What the hell his a velvet fog."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Do you wanna go or not?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Well , where is it?."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "He's performing at this AMCA benefit."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "AMCA?"</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Able Mentally Challenged Adults"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Naaaaaa...I can't watch a man sing a song."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "What are you..crazy?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "They get all emotional , they sway. It's embarrassing."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Well, what am I gonna do for a date.?...Oh! do you
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know that </p>
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<p>..hemmm! blond guy who's always at the exercycle at the health
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</p>
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<p>club.?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "I don't think so."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Yeah yeah! He's really handsome with those..."</p>
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<p>Jerry: (interrupting) "Elaine , I really don't...............pay
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much </p>
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<p>attention to men`s faces."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "You can't find beauty in a man?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "No... I find them repugnant and unappealing."</p>
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<p>Kramer bursts in</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Hey!"</p>
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<p>Jerry: (pointing Kramer) "To wit"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "What?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "No ,Elaine and I we're just discussing whether I could
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admit a man </p>
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<p>is attractive."</p>
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<p>Kramer: " Hmm! Oh! Yeah. I'll tell you who is an attractive
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man; Gorge Will."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Really!"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Yeah! He has clean looks, scrubbed and shampooed
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and...."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "He's smart...."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "No, no I don't find him all that bright."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "So you got any cavities?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Just one....gotta go back.....Oh but get this. Elaine,
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you will </p>
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<p>appreciate this. I'm sitting in Tim Whatley's waiting room...He's
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</p>
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<p>got a Penthouse right out on the table."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Penthouse?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Yeah!!! What is that? I mean isn't that sick. I mean
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, I'd be </p>
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<p>embarrassed to have that in my apartment."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "So what's wrong with that?</p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>Jerry: (outraged) He's a doctor!.I mean it's supposed to be like
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a sterile </p>
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<p>environment."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "So... Did you take a look?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Of course.... But that's got nothing to do with it."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Well I'll tell you I'm looking forward to my appointment
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on </p>
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<p>Thursday. I might even get there a few minutes early."</p>
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<p>George comes in. Kramer walks out.</p>
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<p>George: "Hey"</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Hey! Hey! listen ... Do one of you guys know that
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..that blond guy </p>
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<p>who's always on the exercycle at the health club. You know he's
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</p>
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<p>just really handsome?.."</p>
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<p>George: (head down low) I...I wouldn't know"</p>
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<p>Elaine: "You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn't
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necessarily </p>
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<p>make you a homosexual."</p>
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<p>George: "It doesn't help"</p>
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<p>Elaine: "All right, I'm gone"</p>
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<p>George: "I'll see you."</p>
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<p>George: (to Jerry) "You know those shoes that Jimmy had? I
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cut a deal with </p>
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<p>him. We're gonna import a case of them together."</p>
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<p>Jerry: "What are you doing that for, you got a job"</p>
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<p>George: "There's a lot of money in this.. He's got a proven
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sales method"</p>
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<p>Jerry: " Yeah! What's that."</p>
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<p>George: "He jumps!"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Jimmy's got a record. Jimmy's jumping for dollars.
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Jimmt and George </p>
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<p>are gonna get rich."</p>
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<p>George: "Will you stop with the Jimmies"</p>
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<p>Kramer takes something out of the fridge</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Hey! What's this?"</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Kom Pau(sp?"</p>
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<p>Kramer tastes the chicken but realizes too late how hot and spicy
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it his</p>
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<p>Kramer: "(gasp_)......Kom Pau........"</p>
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<p>Elaine at the health club trying to attract the handsome blond
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guy's attention.</p>
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<p>Elaine: (We hear what she thinks) Look at me....Look at Mee!. Come
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on. I'm </p>
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<p>stretching right in front of you. Heeeey!! ...a smile. Aah! we
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made </p>
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<p>contact, all right one more stretch and then go talk to him.</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Hank leaves as she's ready to make her move. Elaine turns to try
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to find </p>
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<p>out where he could be and stops when she takes notice of Jimmy.</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "You know...Jimmy is pretty sweet on you."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Aaaaaahhh! He is?!"</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Oh yeah!. Jimmy's been watching you....you're just
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Jimmy's type."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "AAaaaaahhh! Really?"(giggles)</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy hem ..doesn't really know
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anyone."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Oh! well I'd like, like to get to know him."</p>
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<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy would like to get to know you."</p>
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<p>Elaine: "Ha...."</p>
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<p>Scene cuts to Tim Whatley's office. Kramer is in the chair.</p>
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<p>Whatley: "Hey! Kramer"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Boy , you're looking sharp there Tim."</p>
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<p>Whatley: "Yeah Well....I do what I can. How've you been."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Euh.. Fine , good , yeah! Just been occupying myself
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with some of </p>
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<p>your....hem reading material."</p>
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<p>Whatley: "So what'ill it be? Novocaine?"</p>
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<p>Kramer: "Oh yes, yes indeed."</p>
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<p>Whatley: "Why don't we just clear a path first."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "yeah, yeah, lets do that."</p>
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<p>Whatley: "You remember Mr. Thirsty."</p>
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<p>Kramer: "All right euhhm....."</p>
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<p>Whatley puts the suction device in Kramer's mouth and loud suctions
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sounds </p>
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<p>are heard.</p>
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<p>Scene then cuts back to the health club where Kramer is trying
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the </p>
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<p>vertical lift shoes.</p>
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<p>Jerry: "Ahh! You too with these?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (still under the effects of the Novocaine slurrs his words
|
|
heavily) </p>
|
|
<p>"Yeah H'amon board."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "So what did Tim say?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Wellhum....He th'aid I gotta cut out the SsssfKittles."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Looks like he gave you some Novocaine"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Ohhh H'am loaded."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "So what about the Penthouse. Did you ask him?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Well he said that humm.. you know.that it helps his
|
|
pathients relax </p>
|
|
<p>a little bit..and he's got a new polithy: Adults only."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Adults only?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Yeah!!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "What the hell's going on over there?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Well you know its.. great. You know, no kids ..allowed.
|
|
you don't </p>
|
|
<p>have to watch your language."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "You find you need to use a lot of obscenities at the
|
|
dentist.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "He..he... When they pull that needle out I let the
|
|
expletives fly."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer reaches for a glass of water and drinks but manages to have
|
|
it </p>
|
|
<p>spill out on to the floor</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Hey! Hey! Watch it.!... You're drooling all over the
|
|
floor. How </p>
|
|
<p>much Novocaine did that guy give you."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Well.. Aye can't hold the water."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy comes in dribbling.</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Oh yeah!! ... Jimmy's ready."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Hey Jimmy"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Ha..harrr."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy's got some new moves."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Go Jimmy" </p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: 'Check Jimmy out"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy slips on Kramer's puddle and falls on his back</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Ooohhh!!!!! JIMMY'S DOWN."</p>
|
|
<p>Scene cuts then comes back with paramedics and Jimmy on a stretcher.</p>
|
|
<p>Paramedic (missing a few words) ......was gonna be in traction."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy might have a compound fracture.. Jimmy's going
|
|
into shock!!"</p>
|
|
<p>George: (angrily)"WHY WEREN'T YOU MORE CAREFUL WITH YOUR DROOL!"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "HEY I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN!!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Why are you taking this so personally?"</p>
|
|
<p>George "BECAUSE IF HE CAN'T JUMP. THERE GOES MY SNEAKER BUSINESS!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (cries out) WELL I SAID I'M SORRY."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: ( as he gets taken out) "JIM....JIMMY WONT FORGET YOU
|
|
KRAMER...</p>
|
|
<p>JIMMY HOLDS GRUDGES. LET JIMMY GO......"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "BUT I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer is seen running down the street with his vertical lift shoes.
|
|
He's </p>
|
|
<p>trying to hail a cab.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "HEY TAXI!!!.....TAXI!!"</p>
|
|
<p>An elderly gentleman is after the same taxi.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Go ahead, go ahead you got it......(to the driver)
|
|
He's got it."</p>
|
|
<p>The man is looking him up and down, noticing the shoes and the
|
|
slurred </p>
|
|
<p>speech.</p>
|
|
<p>Deensfrei (slowly) Oh! Please, go ahead take it</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "No,No...You were here first."</p>
|
|
<p>Deensfrei No. No I..I insist. I'll grab the next one."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Lets share.. we share....Awight"</p>
|
|
<p>Deensfrei "Yes ! Splendid. That's a great idea."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer bumps his head as he gets into the cab</p>
|
|
<p>Deansfrei: "My name is Arnold Deensfrei. What is your name?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Eh!! Cosmo Kramer. Nice to meet you"</p>
|
|
<p>Deensfrei "Very nice to meet you Cosmo. Are you heading home?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (like rainman)"Yeah! heading home."</p>
|
|
<p>Deensfrei "Good for you.....You are really independant."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Yeaheum ... You're not doing too bad yourself"</p>
|
|
<p>In a sporting goods store, George tries to make a sale. He is putting
|
|
on</p>
|
|
<p>the shoes.</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Argh!!..Anyway...Jimmy couldn't be here today so
|
|
he asked me to </p>
|
|
<p>fill in for him, and I'm sure that you'll be impressed at what
|
|
can </p>
|
|
<p>be accomplished after only a few short days of training.....yeah!"</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>George tries three times to jump but barely lifts a couple of inches
|
|
off the </p>
|
|
<p>ground. The store personnel gets uninterested quickly and leave.</p>
|
|
<p>Scene cuts to Jerry's apartment.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (whose voice has returned to normal)" THE VELVET FOG!!!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "What about the Velvet Fog ?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: (as she comes in) "What about the Velvet Fog?"</p>
|
|
<p>kramer: "Well...He's singing at a benefit and I'm gonna be
|
|
sitting at his table."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "I'm going to that!"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "I'm a guest of honor."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "What are you talking about?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Well this afternoon I shared a cab with this...a
|
|
hum..Deensfrei."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Yeah, yeah! Arnold Deensfrei, he runs the AMCA "</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Yeah! well ..that's the guy .He's organizing the
|
|
dinner."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "I know that but why are you going?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Well, because we hit it off and he was very impressed
|
|
with what I do."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "What you do!!. You don't do anything."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Well apparently I do something 'cause I'm sitting
|
|
at the head table with Mr. Mel Torm</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer sits on the couch and puts his feet up on the coffee table.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: (pointing at the shoes) "What are those?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Ehmm ..These are my vertical leap training shoes."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Wait a second ..Where you wearing those shoes in the
|
|
cab?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Yeah! yeah! right after I left the Y."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Don't you see what's happened, he couldn't talk ,
|
|
he's wearing </p>
|
|
<p>these shoes, he's drooling."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer. "What!!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "He thinks you're mentally challenged."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Well...........you know....."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Well ,what happens when you show up . He'll see that
|
|
you're not.?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Not necessarily because....."</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>Scene cuts back to Tim Whatley's dental office. Jerry is sitting
|
|
in the </p>
|
|
<p>chair."</p>
|
|
<p>Whatley: "Sheryl, would you ready the Nitro(???) please?"</p>
|
|
<p>Whatley inhales the gas mask before handing it over to Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Oh! where's Jennifer today?"</p>
|
|
<p>Whatley: "OH!! She's over at Dr.Cessman's office. We find
|
|
it fun to swap now </p>
|
|
<p>and then."</p>
|
|
<p>Cuts to Yankee Stadium. George is sitting at his desk eating Kam
|
|
Pau </p>
|
|
<p>chicken.</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Whhhoooo!!!!"(taps on his desk loudly)</p>
|
|
<p>Phone rings.</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Arrrrrrgh!! .. It's George.. Oh! Sports wholesaler.
|
|
yeah. yeah. .. </p>
|
|
<p>thanks for calling back. No , no , no still got the shoes, still
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>got the shoes. Lots of them. This is.. beautiful athletic gear."</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm enters the office as George is talking on the phone. He
|
|
seems </p>
|
|
<p>suspicious.</p>
|
|
<p>George: ".....Well. I'm sorry. Call you right back."</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: "So George. Have you heard anything about the missing
|
|
equipment?"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "No!...not...nothing."</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: "George, there's nothing I hate more than a liar."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Well...there's no room for someone like that in this
|
|
organization."</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: "Are you feeling all right George?"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Hemmm!.. Fine!"</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: "You look a little warm."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "...It's the chicken"</p>
|
|
<p>Wilhelm: "You're a terrible liar George. Look at you, you're
|
|
a wreck!. </p>
|
|
<p>you're sweating bullets."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "It's the Kom Pau ... George likes his chicken spicy."</p>
|
|
<p>Back in Tim Whatleys office..Jerry wakes up , his vision blurred.
|
|
He sees </p>
|
|
<p>Whatley and Sheryl getting dressed.</p>
|
|
<p>Scene cuts to Monks. Jerry and Elaine are talking.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "....Maybe you were still under the gas.Maybe you
|
|
were hallucinating </p>
|
|
<p>you're coming out of the gas but you were still under the gas."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I don't think so. I think they were getting dressed
|
|
and not only </p>
|
|
<p>that; my shirt was out!!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "your shirt was out?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I think so."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Well, what kind of shirt was it.?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "You know! Like a tennis shirt."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Oh! Well ... You don't tuck those in?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Sometimes I tuck'em sometimes I don't"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Well. Were you tucked?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I think I was tucked.!"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "All right then say you were. I mean .. what do you
|
|
think could have </p>
|
|
<p>happened.?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I don't know but I was spitting out and rinsing like
|
|
there was no </p>
|
|
<p>tomorrow."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Ughhhh"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Is this guy a dentist or Caligula?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "What are you gettin'?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I don't think I'm hungry:"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Okay...So you were violated by two people while you
|
|
were under the </p>
|
|
<p>gas. So What? You're single."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: " But I'm damaged goods now."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Join the club."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Hey, by the way, did you ever call that guy from the
|
|
health club.?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Oh yeah! Jimmy."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Jimmy?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Ahum!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "That's the guy?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Yeah!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Can't believe your going out with him..."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Why?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I dunno. He's so strange.'</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "How so?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Did you notice he always refer to himself in the third
|
|
person. </p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy can dunk. Jimmy's new in town. Jimmy we'll see you later."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "No No... That's not him. That's the guy who gave
|
|
me... Jimmy's </p>
|
|
<p>number."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "That's Jimmy. That's the way he talks."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "I'm going to go see Mel Torm with him?"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Jimmy's gonna put the moves on Elaine.."</p>
|
|
<p>George comes in and sits down with them..</p>
|
|
<p>George: "I have to go see Steinbrenner later. Mr Wilhelm told
|
|
him that I </p>
|
|
<p>was the one responsable for stealing all the merchandise."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Why?"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "'Cause when he questioned me about it I was sweating
|
|
from the Kom </p>
|
|
<p>Pau.."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "I don't know how you can eat that spicy chicken,"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "George likes spicy chicken."</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "What's that?"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "....I like spicy chicken"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "No no you said George likes spicy chicken."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "No I didn't"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Yes you did you said George likes spicy chicken..</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "You're turning in to Jimmy."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "George is getting upset.."</p>
|
|
<p>Back at the health club Elaine meets Jimmy who is wearing crutches.</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "So what do you want to see Jimmy about?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Well.... (pointing at him) Jimmy!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Huh uh..."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "About tonight hum.. there's been a little misunderstanding."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Ah! ... Jimmy doesn't like misunderstanding."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Yeah. What happened was...."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy and misunderstanding kinda clash."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: (suddenly intrigued) "You know, I've never heard anyone
|
|
talk the way</p>
|
|
<p>you do. It's very unusual."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Well, Jimmy's very unusual."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Well anyway hum.... see when I made the date, I thought
|
|
that </p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy......"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Hey look. Hank's got a new boyfriend. Jimmy's not
|
|
threatened by </p>
|
|
<p>Hanks sexuality ... Jimmy's happy for Hank."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Elaine once tried to convert one but Elaine's not
|
|
going through </p>
|
|
<p>that again."</p>
|
|
<p>Scene cuts to The Marriot for the benefit.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "I'm going to try and find some candy. You want some?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Yeah!"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "What kind?"</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "I don't care:"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy walks in</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Hey Jimmy!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "I Elaine."</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: "Elaine got a new dress."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy : "Jimmy likes it."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "There's no candy around here. hey! Jimmy."</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Well look who's here."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Whooo!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "That's the guy who sidelined Jimmy."</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "What!"</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "That's the guy who took the bread out of Jimmy's mouth.
|
|
Jimmy's out </p>
|
|
<p>of work because of you..</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy punches Kramer in the mouth.</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "Jimmy wants a piece of Kramer..(fighting ensues and
|
|
Jimmy gets </p>
|
|
<p>taken out by hotel security)</p>
|
|
<p>Jimmy: "JIMMY'S GONNA GET YOU KRAMER!!. HANDS OFF JIMMY!!.
|
|
DON'T TOUCH </p>
|
|
<p>JIMMY!! LET GO OF JIMMY!!!"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (Keamer's voice starts slurring again) "Yeah! My lips
|
|
swollen?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer sitting at the head table.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "No No I've been living alone a long time now."</p>
|
|
<p>Mel: "Well I think that's the tops."</p>
|
|
<p>We cut back to Yankee stadium in George Steinbrenners office.</p>
|
|
<p>George: (knocks) You hem... wanted to see me Mr. Steinbrenner?"</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: "Yes George, come in ,come in.</p>
|
|
<p>You know George I've been your biggest supporter around here</p>
|
|
<p>and thats why I was so disappointed to hear that you been pilfering</p>
|
|
<p>the equipment."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "George would never do anything like that."</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: 'No why would I. I own it."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Right!"</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: "So what are you saying?"</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Why would George steal from the Yankees?"</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: 'He wouldn't."</p>
|
|
<p>George: " 'course not"</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: "Exactly..................(mumbles) I don't what the
|
|
hell's going on here."</p>
|
|
<p>George: "Sir?"</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: "Nothing."</p>
|
|
<p>George: (energetically) "Well seems it's about time for George's
|
|
lunch."</p>
|
|
<p>Stein: "Yes it is. Well lets see what I have today. Darn it
|
|
It's ham & </p>
|
|
<p>Cheese again and she forgot the fancy mustard. I told her I like
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>that fancy mustard. You could put that fancy mustard on a shoe
|
|
and </p>
|
|
<p>it would taste pretty good to me. oh! she made it up with a cupcake
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>though. Hey look at this . you know I got a new system for eating
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>these things. `I used to peel off the chocolate now I turn them
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>upside down , I eat the cake first and save the frosting for the
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>end. (George stops listening and It's almost like its own </p>
|
|
<p>dessert.............</p>
|
|
<p>Scene fades and we go back to the AMCA benefit.</p>
|
|
<p>Mel: "Ladies and gentlemen....I want to dedicate this song
|
|
to a very </p>
|
|
<p>courageous young man.</p>
|
|
<p>(starts singing)</p>
|
|
<p>"When you're smiling, When you're smiling...</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>The whole world smiles with you...</p>
|
|
<p>When you're laughin', When you're laughin'</p>
|
|
<p>The sun comes shining through</p>
|
|
<p>But when you're crying, You bring on the rain</p>
|
|
<p>So stop that sign. Be happy again</p>
|
|
<p>Keep on smiling , 'cause when you're smiling</p>
|
|
<p>The whole world smiles with yooooouuuuuuu</p>
|
|
<p>The whole world smiles with (with Kramer)yooooouuuuuuu..</p>
|
|
<p>On the street Jerry and Kramer.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: "Hey! Got the new Penthouse"</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: "Where's my Mr. Goodbar?"</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: " Ah! here here Listen...Dear Penthouse, I want to
|
|
tell you about </p>
|
|
<p>an experience I recently had. As an avid reader I've always wondered
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>if the letters (with Jerry) are I'm a dentist and one afternoon
|
|
my </p>
|
|
<p>hygienist and I decided to have a little fun with one of our </p>
|
|
<p>patients. Of course none of our patients had any idea exactly of
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>what we were up to. I was still wondering what if ......... (Jerry
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>stops and seems bewildered)</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>End</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>
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<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
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</div>
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<!-- content -->
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<div id="navBar">
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<div id="upperBox">
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<script type="text/javascript"><!--
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google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
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/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
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google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
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google_ad_width = 200;
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google_ad_height = 200;
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//-->
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</script>
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<script type="text/javascript"
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src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
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</script>
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</div>
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<div class="leftnav"><br />
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<ul>
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<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
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<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
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<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
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<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
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<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
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<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
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<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
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<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
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</div>
|
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</form>
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</ul>
|
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<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
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<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
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|
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<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
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<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
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|
|
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<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|