769 lines
38 KiB
HTML
769 lines
38 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Package</h1>
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<tr>
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<td>
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</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
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first aired : 10/17/96</p>
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<p>director : Andy Ackerman</p>
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<p>writer : Jennifer Crittenden</p>
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<p>Characters :</p>
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<p>Jerry Seinfeld as Jerry Seinfeld</p>
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<p>Michael Richards as Cosmo Kramer</p>
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<p>Jason Alexander as George Costanza </p>
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<p>Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine Benes </p>
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<p>Voice on the phone: Phil Hartman</p>
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<p>================================================================</p>
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<p>Elaine at the doctor's </p>
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<p>Attendant : The doctor will be with you in a moment . </p>
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<p>Elaine looking at her chart </p>
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<p>Elaine : Difficult ?</p>
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<p>Doctor : Elaine . You shouldn't be reading that . So tell me about
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this rash </p>
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<p>of yours . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Well it's , it's ..... You know I noticed that somebody
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wrote in my </p>
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<p>chart that I was difficult in January of 92 and I have to tell
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you that I </p>
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<p>remember that appointment exactly . You see this nurse asked me
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to put a gown </p>
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<p>on but it was a mole on my shoulder and I specifically wore a tank
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top so I </p>
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<p>wouldn't have to put a gown on . You know there made of paper . </p>
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<p>Doctor : Well that was a long time ago . How about if I just erase
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it. Now </p>
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<p>about that rash ......</p>
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<p>Elaine : But it was in pen . You fake erase .</p>
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<p>Doctor : All right Miss Benes . This doesn't look to serious .
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You'll be fine </p>
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<p>. </p>
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<p>Elaine : What are you writing ? Doctor . </p>
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<p>George at Photo Shop</p>
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<p>Sheila : Here you go . </p>
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<p>George : Thanks . </p>
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<p>Sheila : I hope you got that mustard stain out of your shirt . </p>
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<p>George : Ohhhhhh </p>
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<p>Jerry , Kramer , and George at the apartment </p>
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<p>Jerry : No . All you got to do is jiggle it with this screwdriver
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. </p>
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<p>George : Smile </p>
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<p>Jerry : What are you doing ?</p>
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<p>George : I meet this women , Sheila . She works down at the one
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hour photo </p>
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<p>pace . She's got this incredible smile . Like she's got extra teeth
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or something </p>
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<p>Jerry : Extra teeth . I love that look . </p>
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<p>George : Hey check this out . I go to pick up my pictures and she
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says " I </p>
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<p>hope you got that mustard stain out of your shirt ."</p>
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<p>Jerry : What mustard stain ?</p>
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<p>George : Don't you see . She's looking at my pictures . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Why did you take a picture of a mustard stain ?</p>
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<p>George : That's got nothing to do with it . </p>
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<p>Jerry : I see . She's looking . </p>
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<p>George : Yesssss . </p>
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<p>Kramer : Hey , you got to get this thing fixed . </p>
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<p>Jerry : They've tried to fix it . But it keeps coming back the
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same . </p>
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<p>Kramer : Would you like a refund ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Well I can't the warranty expired two years ago . </p>
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<p>Kramer : Would you be interested ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Well how are you going .....</p>
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<p>Kramer : Would you ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : I guess I would . </p>
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<p>Kramer : Yeah , yeah . </p>
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<p>Elaine walks in </p>
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<p>Elaine : You are not going to believe what happened to me at the
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doctors </p>
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<p>office today . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Not the gown again .</p>
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<p>Elaine : No , no . I was looking at my chart and it said I was
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difficult . Why </p>
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<p>would they write that ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : They have gotten to know you . </p>
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<p>Kramer leaves with Jerry's stereo </p>
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<p>Elaine : Then the doctor writes more stuff down and doesn't even
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look at my </p>
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<p>rash . </p>
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<p>George : Why don't you find a doctor that doesn't know your difficult
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. </p>
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<p>Elaine : Oh come on . I'm not difficult . I'm easy . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Why because you dress casual and sleep with a lot of guys
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. </p>
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<p>Elaine : Listen to me you little shi........</p>
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<p>George : Smile .</p>
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<p>Elaine at another doctor's office</p>
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<p>Doctor : Well Elaine you really didn't have to put on the gown
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. </p>
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<p>Elaine : Oh it's my pleasure . I love these . In fact I got one
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at home. It's </p>
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<p>perfect when you just want to throw something on . </p>
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<p>Nurse hands the doctor her chart </p>
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<p>Doctor : All rightly . Let me just review your history before we
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begin . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Where did you get my chart ?</p>
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<p>Doctor : From your last doctor . It's a standard procedure . </p>
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<p>Elaine : You know I can tell you my whole history . Let's just
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.......</p>
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<p>Doctor : Okay . Let's take a look . Well that doesn't look to serious.
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You'll </p>
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<p>be fine . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Please , please . It's really , really itchy . </p>
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<p>Doctor writes more stuff in her chart</p>
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<p>Jerry at apartment </p>
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<p>Knock , knock </p>
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<p>Postal Worker : Seinfeld ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Yeah . </p>
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<p>Postal Worker : I got a package for you . Sign here . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Who's it from ?</p>
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<p>Postal Worker : No return address . </p>
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<p>Jerry : What if I don't want it ?</p>
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<p>Postal Worker : Are you refusing delivery ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Maybe I am .</p>
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<p>Postal Worker : Why would you do that ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : I've never done it before . </p>
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<p>Postal Worker : Why start now ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Why not ?</p>
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<p>Postal Worker : All right . </p>
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<p>George walks in </p>
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<p>George : Why did you refuse the package . Everybody loves a package
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. </p>
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<p>Jerry : I don't know it was weird . Crazy printing . I don't know
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who it was </p>
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<p>from . </p>
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<p>George : What do you think it's a bomb ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : It's not totally impossible . </p>
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<p>George : Oh the ego on you . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Why can't I be bombable ?</p>
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<p>George : Who's going to bomb you . An airline for all the stupid
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little peanut </p>
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<p>jokes . </p>
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<p>Jerry : I suppose you think your bombable . </p>
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<p>George : Hey . There is a couple of people that wouldn't mind having
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me out of </p>
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<p>the way . </p>
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<p>Jerry : There's more than a couple . </p>
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<p>George : Hey . Check these out . I just picked them up from Sheila.
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She must </p>
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<p>have loved these .</p>
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<p>Jerry : You don't have a Mercedes . </p>
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<p>George : I know . I just sort of leaned on it so it would look
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like it was </p>
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<p>mine . </p>
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<p>Jerry : The driver seems a little put out . </p>
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<p>George : No . He was fine with it . Check that out . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Is that Burt Reynolds ?</p>
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<p>George : Wax Museum . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Oh. </p>
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<p>George : Oh . What is this ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : That's a lot of skin . </p>
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<p>George : This must be Sheila from the photo place . </p>
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<p>Jerry : You can barely see her face . </p>
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<p>George : She must have slipped it in here . </p>
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<p>Kramer walks in</p>
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<p>Kramer : I I I </p>
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<p>George : Photo store Sheila . </p>
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<p>Kramer : Well hello Photo store Sheila . </p>
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<p>George : All right . I will see you boys later . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Where are you going ?</p>
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<p>George : To ask her out . </p>
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<p>Kramer : No , no . Your not playing the game . </p>
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<p>George : What game ?</p>
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<p>Kramer : She goes to these lengths to entice you and your only
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response is " </p>
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<p>Gee I really like your picture . Would you like to go out on a
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date with me </p>
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<p>please . " </p>
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<p>George : No good ?</p>
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<p>Kramer : George . It's the timeless art of seduction . You got
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to join in the </p>
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<p>dance . She sends you an enticing photo , you send her one right
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back . </p>
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<p>George : Oh , I don't know .</p>
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<p>Kramer : Well as you know I've always been something of a photog
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. </p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>Jerry : Oh yeah I like this idea . </p>
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<p>Outside Uncle Leo's apartment </p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : Hey Danny . Hello . How are you ?</p>
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<p>Postal Worker Danny : Hey Leo . Leo what's up with your nephew.
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He wouldn't </p>
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<p>except his package . </p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : Oh He wants it . He's just trying to be funny . Yeah
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I'll sign it </p>
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<p>. </p>
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<p>George and Elaine in taxi </p>
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<p>Elaine : And then he starts writing on my chart . </p>
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<p>George : Well why don't you get a hold of it and change what you
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don't like . </p>
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<p>Elaine : You can't change your chart . It's your chart . </p>
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<p>George : I am in and out of my personnel file at work all the time
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. </p>
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<p>Elaine : You are !?!</p>
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<p>George : Hey . I've kept the same job for more than two years .
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It's not luck </p>
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<p>. Elaine , have you ever sent a racy photograph of yourself to
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anyone ?</p>
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<p>Elaine : Yeah . I sent one to everyone I know . Remember my Christmas
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card . </p>
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<p>George : Oh yeah the nipple . But besides that . How did you feel
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about </p>
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<p>Kramer's work ?</p>
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<p>Elaine : Actually I thought he was very professional . </p>
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<p>George : So it was a good experience . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Oh yeah . In fact I like the picture so much I cropped
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out the nipple </p>
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<p>and am using as my health club ID . </p>
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<p>George : Nice . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Yeah it is nice actually . </p>
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<p>Elaine at another doctors</p>
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<p>Elaine : I need to see Dr. Burke right away . This rash is spreading.</p>
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<p>Attendant : He can't see you Miss Benes , he's busy . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Oh come on . Have some compassion . Okay well I hope it's
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contagious </p>
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<p>Elaine rubs the attendants phone on her neck . Soon after Elaine
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finds her </p>
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<p>chart and runs to the elevator </p>
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<p>Elaine : Come on . Move . Oh hi Dr. Burke . I didn't know if uh....</p>
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<p>Dr. Burke : The chart Miss Benes . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Oh please no more . </p>
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<p>The doctor writes more stuff in it </p>
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<p>Jerry at his apartment </p>
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<p>George walks in </p>
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<p>Jerry : Hey </p>
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<p>George : Where's Kramer ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : He went to get some steak sauce . Why ?</p>
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<p>George : Personal matter . </p>
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<p>Phone rings </p>
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<p>Jerry : Hello </p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : Jerry ! It's your Uncle Leo ! Hello ! </p>
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<p>Jerry : Hello Leo . You don't have to yell . </p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : I got your package . </p>
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<p>Jerry : How did you get my package ?</p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : What should I do with it ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : I don't know what you should do with it . </p>
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<p>George : Tell him to open it . </p>
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<p>Jerry : I am not going to treat my uncle like a bomb defusing robot. </p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : Jerry , Your cousin Jeffrey is in the Parks Production
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of The </p>
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<p>Macardo . I want you to go see it with me . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Open the package Leo . </p>
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<p>Uncle Leo : Okay . Opening . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Opening . </p>
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<p>BOOM !!!</p>
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<p>Elaine and Jerry at apartment </p>
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<p>Elaine : So it wasn't a bomb . </p>
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<p>Jerry : No , No bomb . </p>
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<p>Elaine : Well then what ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Oh stupid Leo was using one of those oven cleaners . He
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left the </p>
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<p>canister in there and the pilot light was on . The whole thing
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blew up . </p>
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<p>Elaine : But he's okay ?</p>
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<p>Jerry : Yeah but the explosion singed off his eyebrows , mustache
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everything . </p>
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<p>He's all smooth now . Look's like a seal . </p>
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<p>Elaine on phone </p>
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<p>Elaine : Yeah I am still holding . </p>
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<p>Jerry opens his package </p>
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<p>Jerry : Is this my stereo ?</p>
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<p>Kramer walks in </p>
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<p>Kramer : Hey you got it .</p>
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<p>Jerry : What happened to my stereo ? It's all smashed up . </p>
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<p>Kramer : That's right . Now it looks like it was broken during
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shipping and I </p>
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<p>insured it for $400 . </p>
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<p>Jerry : But you were supposed to get me a refund . </p>
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<p>Kramer : You can't get a refund . Your warranty expired two years
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ago . </p>
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<p>Jerry : So were going to make the Post Office pay for my new stereo
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?</p>
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<p>Kramer : It's just a write off for them . </p>
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<p>Jerry : How is it a write off ?</p>
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<p>Kramer : They just write it off . </p>
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<p>Jerry : Write it off what ?</p>
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<p>Kramer : Jerry all these big companies they write off everything </p>
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<p>Jerry : You don't even know what a write off is .</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Do you ?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : No . I don't . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : But they do and they are the ones writing it off . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : I wish I just had the last twenty seconds of my life back
|
|
. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine still on phone </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : What ?!? He doesn't have one appointment this whole month
|
|
!?! Oh come </p>
|
|
<p>on . I am dying here man . Hello , hello . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Still no luck </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer leaves with a fan </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Jerry I am at doctor Zimmerman . I am at the end of the
|
|
alphabet . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : There's no Zorn or Zoutraph . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : There on vacation . Every doctor in this city seems to
|
|
know who I am </p>
|
|
<p>. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Hey what about Dr. Resnick My Uncle Leo is going to see
|
|
him tomorrow </p>
|
|
<p>. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Dr. Resnick . He's not listed . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : He's not that good .</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and George at Kramer's apartment </p>
|
|
<p>George : Elaine said your pretty good at this stuff . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Oh yeah . Elaine was a fun project . I enjoyed working
|
|
with her . </p>
|
|
<p>George : You don't have your own camera . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Uh no . Look at this . Okay yeah this looks good and I
|
|
like what your </p>
|
|
<p>wearing . </p>
|
|
<p>George : I feel fat . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : No, no . You're stoked . The camera loves stokedness .
|
|
Look were not </p>
|
|
<p>going to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable . The key
|
|
word is </p>
|
|
<p>tasteful . Now I want you to relax and have fun because your a
|
|
fun guy . All </p>
|
|
<p>right let's do it . Okay come on . Feel the beat . Feel the beat
|
|
. You know </p>
|
|
<p>you got some real strong pecks but it's hard to tell under that
|
|
T-shirt . </p>
|
|
<p>George : Well do you want me to take it off ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : I don't know it's up to you . </p>
|
|
<p>George : Do you think it would be better if I did ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : It might be . I mean whatever you want . </p>
|
|
<p>George : ALL RIGHT !!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer ; That's it George . Come on , come on . Give it to me .
|
|
Come on ,work </p>
|
|
<p>it . Work it . Yeah be a man , be a man . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry leaving apartment </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : You are a lover boy !!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Oh yeah . This can't miss . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine sleeping in bed </p>
|
|
<p>Phone rings </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Hello . </p>
|
|
<p>Guy : Is this Elaine Marie Benes ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Yes . Who it this ?</p>
|
|
<p>Guy : We are with the American Medical Association . Can you confirm
|
|
the </p>
|
|
<p>correct spelling of your last name ? Is it B-e-n-e-s . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Yeah . What is this all about </p>
|
|
<p>Guy : Good bye . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Hello , hello .</p>
|
|
<p>Guy : What ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Oh uh uh ...</p>
|
|
<p>Guy : Get off the line . Were trying to make another call . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo and Elaine at Dr. Resnick's office</p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : Elaine . Hello . What are you doing here ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Leo . Has the doctor been in yet ?</p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : No . I am going to ask him about my eyebrows .</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Okay listen Leo . Your hairless , your scared . When the
|
|
doctor comes </p>
|
|
<p>in let me do the talking . Okay . </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick walks in </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : Leo . I heard you had a little mishap . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : It was a fireball . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : I should have never left him alone . </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : And who are you ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : I am his nurse ... Poloma . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : You're not my nurse . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : He has good days and bad . </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : What seems to be the problem ?</p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : Are my eyebrows going to grow back ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : And he's has a bit of a rash .</p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : Really . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Yeah . </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : Well there's been a bit of that going around lately
|
|
. Will you </p>
|
|
<p>excuse me Poloma . I just need to get some ointment . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : I don't like this , it is to easy . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : Elaine ...</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Shut up ! I think he's on to us . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : Elaine what about my eyebrows ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Shhhhhh . Here . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine draws fake eyebrows on him </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and Jerry at Post Office </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : I don't like this Kramer . Will it be much longer ?</p>
|
|
<p>Attendant : I am sorry . It looks like the claim has been red flagged.
|
|
Your </p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>under investigation . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Investigation ?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Hello Jerry .</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Hello Newman . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Kramer you might as well run along . Jerry might be a
|
|
while . </p>
|
|
<p>Suspicion of mail fraud . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Mail fraud . Your in a lot of trouble buddy . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo at Dr. Resnick's office</p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : I got your ointment . Where's your nurse ?</p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : She left . </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : No need to get angry . Calm down . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : I am calm . </p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : Leo I don't care for your demeanor . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : Demeanor ?</p>
|
|
<p>Dr. Resnick : Now your just being difficult . </p>
|
|
<p>Uncle Leo : What are you writing ?</p>
|
|
<p>George at photo store </p>
|
|
<p>George : So I really liked the pictures I picked up here yesterday
|
|
. </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : I am glad George . </p>
|
|
<p>George : And here's a roll that I think you may enjoy . </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Great . </p>
|
|
<p>George : Shall we say an hour . </p>
|
|
<p>George leaves </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Hey Ron I got to go to lunch . Can you do a roll ?</p>
|
|
<p>Ron : No problem . </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : By the way . You know that model that is always in here
|
|
. She's </p>
|
|
<p>missing one of her lingerie shots . Have you seen it ?</p>
|
|
<p>Ron : No .</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry and Newman at the Post Office </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : All right . Then let me ask you this . Didn't you find
|
|
it interesting </p>
|
|
<p>that your friend had the foresight to purchase postal insurance
|
|
for your </p>
|
|
<p>stereo . Huh . I mean parcels are rarely damaged during shipping
|
|
. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Define rarely . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Frequently . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Are we about throw here Newman ?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : It's pretty hot under these lights huh Seinfeld . Pretty
|
|
....... Hot </p>
|
|
<p>. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Actually I am quite comfortable . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Can I have a sip ?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : No . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Not going to play ball . Huh all right . Admit it that
|
|
stereo was all </p>
|
|
<p>ready busted . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : You can't prove anything . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Is this or is this not your signature ?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : No in a matter of fact it isn't . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Uncle Leo ? This case is closed pending further evidence
|
|
. Jerry .</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer and Elaine at doctor's </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Get in there . Get chart . Get out . You got it . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Yeah let me borrow your scarf . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : This . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Yeah . All right one chart coming up . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Okay . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Bennette right ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Benes . My last name is Benes you jackass . Yeah . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman walking down the street </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Jerry , Jerry , Jerry , Jerry , Jerry , Jerry , Jerry
|
|
, Jerry , Jerry </p>
|
|
<p>. </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer at doctor's </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : I like what you've done with that . </p>
|
|
<p>Attendant : May I help you ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : Yes , yes . I am Dr. Vanostran from the clinic . I need
|
|
Elaine Benes </p>
|
|
<p>chart . She's a patient of mine and she's not going to make it
|
|
. It's uh very </p>
|
|
<p>bad very messy . </p>
|
|
<p>Attendant : I see and what clinic is that again ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : That's correct . </p>
|
|
<p>Attendant : Excuse me . </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : From The Hoffer-Mandale Clinic in Belgium . </p>
|
|
<p>Attendant : Really ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : The Netherlands ?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : Where's my chart ? Did you get it ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : No . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine : What ? What happened ?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer : I don't know . But now they got a chart on me . </p>
|
|
<p>George at photo store </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : I don't know where they could be . </p>
|
|
<p>George : Can't find them . That's marvelous . The dance continues.</p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Well if I find them I'll call you . </p>
|
|
<p>George : And maybe we could go out and do something . </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Sure . </p>
|
|
<p>Ron : Hello . </p>
|
|
<p>George : Hi . </p>
|
|
<p>George leaves </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : So the little guy finally asked me out . </p>
|
|
<p>Ron : Really ?</p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Hey I can't find his photo's anywhere . </p>
|
|
<p>Ron : Oh you know what happened . Some guy from the Post Office
|
|
confiscated </p>
|
|
<p>them . He left his card . </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Newman ?</p>
|
|
<p>George and Jerry at Post Office </p>
|
|
<p>George : I don't know what Newman wanted to see me for .</p>
|
|
<p>Newman ; Gentlemen , gentlemen . I am so happy to see you both.
|
|
There is just </p>
|
|
<p>some inconsistencies I'd like to straighten out . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : I'm clean and you know it .</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Clean ? Hardly . This looks like a man that isn't happy
|
|
with his </p>
|
|
<p>stereo performance . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Where did you get that ?</p>
|
|
<p>George : I think that's one of mine . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman : It looks like your breaking into it like an otter breaking
|
|
into a clam. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : I don't know about that but I'm sure there is a explanation
|
|
.</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : Yes . It's called mail fraud . Oohhhh . How I've longed
|
|
for this </p>
|
|
<p>moment Seinfeld . The day when I would have the proof I needed
|
|
to hall you out </p>
|
|
<p>of your cushy lair and expose to the light of justice as the monster
|
|
that you </p>
|
|
<p>are . A monster so vile .....</p>
|
|
<p>Guy : NEWMAN !!</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : There will be a small fine . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Okay . </p>
|
|
<p>George : Can we go now ?</p>
|
|
<p>Newman: Not so fast pretty boy . There is more to this sorted little
|
|
affair . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : Oh my god !!</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : This photo clearly indicates your involvement in some
|
|
ill-conceived </p>
|
|
<p>mail order pornography ring .As does this one found in the same
|
|
disturbing </p>
|
|
<p>packet . </p>
|
|
<p>Newman holds up a picture of Ron </p>
|
|
<p>George : OH MY GOD !!!</p>
|
|
<p>Newman : We have some questions we'd like you to answer . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : I have some questions of my own . </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila walks in </p>
|
|
<p>Sheila : Hi . One of your mailmen ....... Oh my god , George !?!</p>
|
|
<p>George : Listen Sheila it's not what you think . I put my trust
|
|
into the wrong </p>
|
|
<p>person . He said the key word was tasteful . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry : The timeless art of seduction . </p>
|
|
<p>George : SHEILA !!!</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><Spell checked and reformatted by Mike "The News Guy">
|
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ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
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var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
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})();
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</script></body>
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