1479 lines
57 KiB
HTML
1479 lines
57 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
|
|
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
|
|
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
|
|
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
|
|
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
|
|
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="© 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
|
|
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Pool Guy</title>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
|
|
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Pool Guy. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
|
|
<meta name="keywords" content="the pool guy, seinfeld pool guy, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageType="CONTENT";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
|
|
|
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
|
|
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:title" content="The Pool Guy"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePoolGuy.html"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Pool Guy. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<div class="wrap">
|
|
<div class="head_title">
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="menu">
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
|
|
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="underMenu">
|
|
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
|
|
<h1>The Pool Guy</h1>
|
|
|
|
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
|
|
<tr>
|
|
<td>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-in_content-top_left */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
|
|
google_ad_width = 300;
|
|
google_ad_height = 250;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
</td>
|
|
</tr>
|
|
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
<br>
|
|
Transcribed by Dan Coogan <br>
|
|
Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site <br>
|
|
<small>(Permission is given to copy scripts to other sites provided credits
|
|
as two lines above are included - Thanks)</small></p>
|
|
|
|
<p><br>
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Written by: David Mandel<br>
|
|
Directed by Andy Ackerman<br>
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Episode no. 118<br>
|
|
pc: 708, season 7, episode 8<br>
|
|
Broadcast date: November 16, 1995<br>
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
The Cast<br>
|
|
Regulars:<br>
|
|
Jerry Seinfeld ....................... Jerry Seinfeld<br>
|
|
Jason Alexander .................. George Costanza<br>
|
|
Julia Louis-Dreyfus .............. Elaine Benes<br>
|
|
Michael Richards .................. Cosmo Kramer<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Guest Stars:<br>
|
|
Carlos Jacott ........................ Ramon (The Pool Guy)<br>
|
|
Billy Williams ....................... Usher<br>
|
|
Alec Mapa ........................... Paul<br>
|
|
Dom Magwili ....................... Dustin<br>
|
|
rc: Wayne Knight ................ Newman<br>
|
|
rc: Heidi Swedberg ............. Susan<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Opening monologue.<br>
|
|
I’d like to know when Tic-Tac-Toe became the Pound sign, that's what
|
|
I’d<br>
|
|
like to know. Why don't they call it what it really is -- “Leave
|
|
your<br>
|
|
numeric message now and then press Archie’s head.”<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
And what is that redial button? Let's face it -- you're either going to<br>
|
|
get the person, the machine or they have call waiting. Who is redialing<br>
|
|
and redialing? This is like the harassment key for people in a fight,<br>
|
|
you know.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry holds his right hand up to the side of his face, thumb and pinky<br>
|
|
extended like a phone receiver)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
“Hey I’m not through --” CLICK. Blulululululu.<br>
|
|
“You can't do that to me --” CLICK. Blulululululu.<br>
|
|
“And another thing --” CLICK. Blulululululu.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Commercial<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Opening scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior daylight shot of Jerry's brick apartment building, then inside.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Let me ask you a question. Who would win in a fight between you<br>
|
|
and me?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, what do you mean?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Well if you and I ever got into, like a really serious fight you<br>
|
|
know, and the punches started flying -- who do you think would win?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well I think that's pretty obvious.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah. Me too.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine enters carrying a cup of coffee)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey Elaine.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Hey.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Who, who, who do you think would win in a fight between me and<br>
|
|
ah, gorgeous George here. (pointing up and down at George)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: You mean in a real Fight Fight?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: <em>Mona a Baldo</em>.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Ah-Ha! (he turns and walks over to the refrigerator)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Why?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George fights dirty. (she sips her coffee)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Really? What would you do?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Pull hair, Poke eyes, Groin stuff. Whatever I gotta do. (he<br>
|
|
opens a blue bottled beverage)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hmm.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: So. Listen ... You're not doing anything tomorrow, are you?<br>
|
|
Because I have an extra ticket to the historical clothing exhibit at the<br>
|
|
Met.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I’m sorry.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Would I want to see what Mary Todd wore to Lincoln's funeral?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: There's nobody I can go with.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer enters)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: You know what. I don't have one female friend left.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh, no, of course you don't. You're a Man's Woman. You hate<br>
|
|
other women, and they hate you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Thank you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: So Jerry, (smacks hands and rubs palms together) What time we<br>
|
|
going to the movies?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ah, how about 8:30?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Saddle up and ride. (opens the fridge and pulls out some food<br>
|
|
-- takes a big bite)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You want to get something to eat first?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: [ mumbling with full mouth ] No, I’m good.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I wonder if, ah, Susan ... (picks up the phone from the coffee<br>
|
|
table, then decides not to call) No. I better just go. (claps hands)<br>
|
|
heh. All right! See ya. (grabs his rain coat from the hook by the<br>
|
|
door and rushes out)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: There's nothing more pathetic, than a grown man, <em>who’s
|
|
afraid of<br>
|
|
a woman</em>. (voice get high-pitched for the last line)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey, why don't cha ask Susan?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George's Susan?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Yeah. Why not Susan. I should be friends with Susan. (smacks<br>
|
|
her forehead with hand) Of course! Susan! Oh! OK, I’ll see you<br>
|
|
guys. Huh. (rushes out the door.)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: That's gunna be trouble.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Why?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Jerry, don't you see? This world here, this is George's<br>
|
|
sanctuary. If Susan comes into contact with this world, his world's<br>
|
|
collide. You know what happens then?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer raises his hands into the air and slowly brings them together
|
|
in<br>
|
|
an explosion. He's holding some food in one hand, so when his hands<br>
|
|
come into contact food flies all over)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Ka shha shha shha Pkooo (exploding sound)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New Scene.<br>
|
|
Camera fades from the apt. to the Paragon Movie Theater. Jerry and<br>
|
|
Kramer wait outside in a line to buy tickets.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Did I tell you I’m getting a new telephone number?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: How come?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Whew, chicks man. Too many chicks know my number.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry looks at Kramer, raises his eyebrows with an expression that says<br>
|
|
“really?”)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: (recognizes Jerry) Hey Jerry. How are you Mr. Backstroke?<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Kramer this is Ramon, from the new health club I joined.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh, yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: So you know what happened don't chu?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No what?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: I got fired.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Really?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Yeah, said I put too much chlorine in the pool.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ahh.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Hey well, ah, stay out of the deep end, eh.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: OK, see you later.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: What's in the deep end?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Night exterior of George's apartment building, then inside. Susan sits<br>
|
|
on the couch reading.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Telephone rings]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Hello?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Hey George.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Hey Elainie. What's going on?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: (sitting up in bed) Nothing much, um. Can I talk to Susan<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Ha, Yeah right, hang on, I’ll ah, I’ll get her for you.
|
|
he, he,<br>
|
|
he, he. Seriously, what's up?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: No, George really. Can I talk to Susan?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Susan, why?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Because I want to ask her to lunch and to the Met tomorrow.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Oh, I don't think you want to do that.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Why not?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Well what would be the point of that?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Susan, hearing her name glances over at George)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George, are you going to put her on the phone?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Where did this come from all of a sudden?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George, are you going to let me talk to Susan, or Not?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I really think I should have been consulted about this.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George takes the phone from his ear and walks over to the couch and<br>
|
|
hands the phone to Susan)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Here ... something.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Hello? (with hesitant surprise) Oh, that sounds great. I love<br>
|
|
that sort of stuff.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George stands behind the couch, arms crossed with his right hand<br>
|
|
clenched up to his mouth. He takes off his glasses, puts his left hand<br>
|
|
just above his eyes and rubs them in disbelief and walks out of the<br>
|
|
room.)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Night exterior of a busy NYC street. Large lit advertising signs for<br>
|
|
Panasonic, JVC and a couple of McDonalds “Golden Arches” are
|
|
visible.<br>
|
|
Then to the inside of the movie theater.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: You want to sit here?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah. (Kramer sits in the seat next to Jerry) Uh, uh, oh, oh,<br>
|
|
Over there. (points to the next seat over)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Why?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Little buffer zone.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: (Quietly) Buffer zone (Kramer moves to the other seat)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Thank you. If we were in my apartment and we were watching a<br>
|
|
movie on the couch, would we sit right next to each other?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: No. You got a point.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: All right.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I can't ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What are you doing?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Well these seats have no lumbar.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh hey, there's Ramon. Pre, pretend we're talking.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Ramon is looking for a seat. He's carrying a drink, a bunch of<br>
|
|
napkins, and a huge bucket of popcorn)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: We are talking.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Pretend it's interesting.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: So, ah then, I ah had to kill him and ah, well the police are<br>
|
|
still looking for me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh yeah that's shocking, but sounds ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Hey, hi Jerry.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, hey Ramon.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Hey, hey, I took a bunch of napkins. You want some?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, no thanks. (turns back to Kramer)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Hey, ahhh, is this seat taken?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Ramon proceeds to sit down between Kramer and Jerry)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(As Ramon sits down, he bumps into Kramer and startles him. Jerry looks<br>
|
|
like he can't believe Ramon sat down. Ramon is bobbing his head front<br>
|
|
to back with his neck, like sitting there worked out pretty good)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior of Jerry's apartment building then inside where Jerry and<br>
|
|
George are talking.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: And then the worst part is, after the movie, he leached on to us<br>
|
|
... We wound up having coffee with him for like two hours. Then he<br>
|
|
walks us home, all the way back to the front of the building. Finally
|
|
I<br>
|
|
said, look Ramon, I gotta go to bed now.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: By the way, have you spoken to Elaine yet today?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No why?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: [sighs] She called Susan last night.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh yeah, I know.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: How do you know?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well it was my idea.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Your idea?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Wha’d you do that for?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: She was looking for someone to go to the show with.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Well that was a really stupid thing! You know what's going to<br>
|
|
happen now?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: World's collide. (points at George)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Whe ... Well yeah!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Because this world is your sanctuary and if that world comes into<br>
|
|
contact with --<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: YES! It Blows Up! So if you know that, what did you tell<br>
|
|
Elaine for?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I didn’t know. Kramer told me about the worlds.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You couldn't figure out the “World's Theory” for yourself?
|
|
It's<br>
|
|
just common sense. Anybody knows, ya gotta keep your worlds apart.<br>
|
|
(gesturing with hands going outward)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah, I guess I slipped up.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer enters)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Hey.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Hey.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: He knows the worlds theory.<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: What is it blowing up?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Ha! (grabs his coat and exits the apartment)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Telephone rings - Kramer pulls a cordless phone from his pocket]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Cosmo, go. No, no, na, na. (he pushes the end button and<br>
|
|
pushes the antenna down) Boy this new telephone number's driving me<br>
|
|
crazy -- wrong numbers, every five minutes.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What is it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Well it's 555-3455.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: 555-3455.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (picks up the phone on the coffee table) “555-3455.”
|
|
Well wait a<br>
|
|
second, don't you see that's 555-FILK.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: What's Filk?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Filk’s nothing, but 555-FILM is Movie Phone.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh Movie Phone.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yes, so people are just dialing it by mistake and getting you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: So, I’m Filk?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You're Filk.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh, Mama.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Susan and Elaine are walking down the sidewalk.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Well what about that number Susan B. Anthony wore to the 19th<br>
|
|
Amendment party. Hnuh. Eye yye yye.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Oh whoo. Quite the DColletage for a suffragette.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Ha, ha, ha, ha, well it must have been one hell of a party.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Whoo.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Ha, ha, ha, ha.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Oh, I know what I wanted to tell you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Ehahh, forget it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: What? You can tell me. I’ll put it in the vault.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: The vault?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Mm-Hmm.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior shot of Physique (Jerry's health club) then inside to the men's<br>
|
|
locker room where Jerry is putting some clothes in a gym bag. Some men<br>
|
|
are in the background talking.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
PAUL - Locker room Attendant #1: Oy, Mr. Seinfeld. We heard you went to<br>
|
|
the movies with Ramon.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, well, I didn’t actually go with Ramon. I just bumped into<br>
|
|
him there. (putting on coat)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DUSTIN - Locker room Attendant #2: It's a good thing he has friends like<br>
|
|
you to cheer him up.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
PAUL: Tell him to call us.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DUSTIN: Tell him, Dustin says, “Hello.”<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: All right, I gotta go.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
PAUL: To see Ramon?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Paul, with his eyes wide open looking at Jerry. Dustin stares off the<br>
|
|
other direction, laughing to himself)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior of Jerry's apartment building, then inside Jerry's apartment.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What else did you two do?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Oh, I don't know, you know, girlie stuff.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ah, so, ah, flower shows and, shopping for pretty bows, and then<br>
|
|
back to her place, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine stands there for a good 6 seconds with arms crossed, blank<br>
|
|
expression, just looking at Jerry)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: That's really what you think girls do, isn't it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yes, I do. (very serious)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: All rightee. (turns and walks to the bathroom)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey you know George isn't to happy, ahh, about your new<br>
|
|
friendship.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Yeah? Well I don't really give a Sh... (closing the bathroom<br>
|
|
door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer enters and leaves the door open)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Hey man, what's going on?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Telephone rings]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Ooh, here we go. (pulls a cordless phone from his pocket) Yeah<br>
|
|
hello. Yeah, no, no, no, hold on.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer walks over to the table, opens the newspaper to the movie<br>
|
|
section)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah, <em>Cupid’s Rifle</em> -- 8:30, Sony Lincoln Square.
|
|
Yeah, no, no,<br>
|
|
no, no problem, yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer hangs up the cordless and pushes the antenna back in, puts the<br>
|
|
phone in his pocket)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You're looking up movies for people now?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I got time.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Telephone rings]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: And this. (pulls out the cordless phone from his pocket) Cosmo<br>
|
|
here. Yeah, un-huh, no, no, no, no, I’ll help. Yeah, <em>Firestorm’s</em><br>
|
|
good. I saw it yesterday. Yeah well my buddy Jerry , ah, he's seen it<br>
|
|
twice. You want to talk to him? Here -- (holds the phone out to Jerry)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (shaking his head no) No Kramer I don't want to talk to him.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry is backing away, as Kramer attempt to foist the phone on to<br>
|
|
Jerry, but he will not take it -- Kramer continues to try and get Jerry<br>
|
|
to take the phone from him)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
** Continuity Error -- During this part of the scene, we clearly see<br>
|
|
Kramer’s right hand holding the phone, his left hand is empty. This<br>
|
|
sequence is shot from several camera angles. At the end of the<br>
|
|
sequence, Kramer is holding the folded newspaper in his left hand -- he<br>
|
|
did not reach over to pick up the paper -- so this is obviously a<br>
|
|
Continuity Error **<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Just, just tell him about the picture. What's the matter with<br>
|
|
you? Stop it. (puts the phone back to his ear) Yes, are you still<br>
|
|
there? Look I’m sorry about that. All right there's an 8:30 and a
|
|
10:15<br>
|
|
showing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer walks out the open door and into his apt. with the newspaper.<br>
|
|
Elaine walks back into the living room, wondering what just happened,<br>
|
|
she gestures towards Kramer as he exits)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Intercom buzzes]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh that's George. (presses the intercom button) Yeah?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: [Hey it's Ramon]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: [Hey, It's Ramon Jerry. I’m coming up]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (to Ramon) Oh. Okay. (to Elaine) Wh, what is he doing here?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Who? Who is Ramon?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: He's the pool guy.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: What pool guy?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Do me a favor. Just stick around while he's here.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Yeah, no problem.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
----------------------------------------------------<br>
|
|
** Inconsistency in reality -- Ramon shows up at Jerry's door, 8 seconds<br>
|
|
from the time when Jerry stops pressing the intercom buzzer. Either<br>
|
|
Ramon would have to run up 5 flights of stairs incredibly fast (he does<br>
|
|
not appear out of breath) or those are some very fast elevators.<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<br>
|
|
-- and we know from a Episode 6 The Ex-Girlfriend that Elaine complains<br>
|
|
about the slow elevators in Jerry's apt. building. **<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Episode 6 The Ex-Girlfriend<br>
|
|
ELAINE: You know, you have the slowest elevator in the entire city?<br>
|
|
That's hard to get used to when you're in so many other fast ones.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, the apartment elevators are always slower than the offices,<br>
|
|
because you don't have to be home on time.<br>
|
|
----------------------------------------------------<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Hee hey, hey Jerry (claps hands and points both index fingers at<br>
|
|
him) How are you, crazy guy?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey. So, ah, Ramon this is my friend Elaine.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Yeah and I was just leaving. Bye-bye Jerry. (smiling as she<br>
|
|
closes the door. Jerry looks at her like he can not believe she left<br>
|
|
him on his own)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So, ah, what are you doing around here Ramon?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Well, I was in the neighborhood. I figured I’d check you out.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ah, actually, I ka, kinda had some things to do.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Oh, oh yeah. Wha? Where you going?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ah, just, you know, I don't know. Stuff, I gotta do. (grabs coat<br>
|
|
and throws it over his shoulder)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Hey that's cool. I’m up for some stuff<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: All right.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(They head for the door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Moving subway cars blur by, then inside the subway car where Jerry sits<br>
|
|
next to Ramon<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: So get this. I get down there, and right away, I see the drain<br>
|
|
is clogged. I mean it's obvious. Can you believe it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: All right Ramon, I’m going to get going.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Subway train stops and door opens)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I think we should separate here actually.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: What are you trying to say Jerry?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Look Ramon, you're, you're a nice guy. But I, I actually only<br>
|
|
have three friends. I really can't handle any more.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Oh I see. It's cause I clean pools, right?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: That has nothing to do with it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: You su -- [no audio] (through the moving subway window, Ramon is<br>
|
|
swearing and pointing at Jerry)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior of George's apartment building then inside his apartment.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah, we got along real well.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You know, uh, she has no female friends! You know that, don't<br>
|
|
cha? Something strange about a woman who’s friends are all men.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah, I know. We talked <em>all</em> about that.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You talked all about that?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Oh yeah. Elaine opened up her vault.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Did you just say vault?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah, why? Did I use it wrong?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You got that from Elaine.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah. So what?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Well it's a little strange. You going to start to talk like<br>
|
|
Elaine from now on?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: I don't know. Anyway I thought <em>we'd</em> all go to a movie
|
|
on Friday.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: We’d all go to movie on Friday?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: This is not good. World's are colliding! George is getting<br>
|
|
upset!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Commercial]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Inside Jerry's apartment -- Jerry sits on the couch listening to George.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is<br>
|
|
allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him,<br>
|
|
Ceases to Exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but<br>
|
|
there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the<br>
|
|
George you grew up with -- Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar<br>
|
|
George, Bawdy George.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I, I love that George.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Me Too! And he's Dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks<br>
|
|
through this door, he will Kill Independent George! A George, divided<br>
|
|
against itself, Cannot Stand!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine enters)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You're Killing Independent George! You know that, don't you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: George I don't even want to get --<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You know what word Susan used last night? Hnuh. Vault! hu,<br>
|
|
hu, hu.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: So?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: She got that from you!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Well, I didn’t tell here to say it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What is she the only girl in the whole world? Why can’t you
|
|
get<br>
|
|
find your own girl?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: I Like Her!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You see (to Jerry). You see. You see what I’m talking about.<br>
|
|
It's all just slipping away. And you're letting it happen. (exits --<br>
|
|
slamming the door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So you want to catch a movie later?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Ahh, yeah, sure.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I don't have a paper though.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Hmm. (picks up the phone and dials)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Ring]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Hewwo and welcome to Movie phone. Brought to you by the New<br>
|
|
York Times and Hot 97. Coming to theaters this Friday ... Kevin Bacon,<br>
|
|
Susan Sarandon -- “You've got to get me over that mountain!”
|
|
“Now”<br>
|
|
[bang, bang] “AHHHHHHHHHH” There is no place higher than ...
|
|
<em>Mountain<br>
|
|
High</em>. Rated R. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see,<br>
|
|
press 1.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Kramer, is that you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Elaine?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Uh, what time does <em>Chow Fun</em> start?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I don't know.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior of the Physique health club, then inside to the men's locker<br>
|
|
room.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Well, well. Look who’s here.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ramon, what are you doing here? You could get in trouble.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: No, I don't think so Jerry. You see they gave me my job back.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: I’m a pool boy ... again.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Look Ramon, about the other day. I’m sorry if I offended you.
|
|
I<br>
|
|
get a little crabby on the subway.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Do you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What happened to all the towels?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Oh, ah, I guess they must have disappeared. (walks away)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Newman rushes up to Jerry)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Hey Jerry. Look at all the towels they gave me! I really hit<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd04 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
the jackpot! (holding a large stack of towels, Newman pats his face<br>
|
|
with the top one) Ha, ha, ha.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry extends his arms, making a vain attempt at a reach for a towel
|
|
as<br>
|
|
Newman walks away)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior of Elaine's building. Elaine and Jerry walk down the steps and<br>
|
|
on to the sidewalk.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: It's been a terrible situation down there the past couple of<br>
|
|
days. He's really been making things uncomfortable for me. There's<br>
|
|
always a big pile of dirty towels in front of my locker ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Uh-huh.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: And then when I come out of the pool, my towel's always gone.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Uhh, so frustrating!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Tell me about it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Uhh, so you want to join me and Susan for lunch at the coffee<br>
|
|
shop?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You're meeting Susan for lunch at the coffee shop?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I’m meeting George for lunch at the coffee shop.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Oh, huh. Well, this should be very interesting.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine walks off, while Jerry stands there contemplating the upcoming<br>
|
|
ramifications)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Elaine and Jerry enter Monk’s coffee shop as Susan sits across the
|
|
booth<br>
|
|
from Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Hey! Elaine! Jerry. Over here!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: There they are.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah, look who I ran into.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Hey.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Yeah. (sits down next to Susan)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Ahh.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry stands a few paces from the booth, looking around for George, and<br>
|
|
feeling uncomfortable about the upcoming events)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Come on Jerry. Aren't you going to join us?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ah, you know. I’m supposed to meet, eh, someone -- I’ll,
|
|
I’ll<br>
|
|
wait for them outside. (walks towards the door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah, wait here. Come on, sit down. What's the matter with<br>
|
|
you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: This is gonna to be ugly. (quietly)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry sits down next to Kramer)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: What's that Jerry?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: [coughing] I said, boy am I ugly.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George enters the coffee shop)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Oh, hey, hey, Georgie boy, over here.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George walks in and stops, looking at the four of them sitting in the<br>
|
|
booth. He nods his head and extends his arm in acknowledgment, nods his<br>
|
|
head again, he lightly claps his hands and walks up to the table)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: One, two ... three, four.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(extending his arm and counting to Elaine, Susan, Kramer and Jerry, who<br>
|
|
he puts his hand under Jerry's chin and then makes a fist and presses
|
|
it<br>
|
|
to Jerry's cheek)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Ha Ho! (he turns and walks out the door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Hey George!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: We'll pull up another chair.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior of Reggie’s diner, then inside where George sits alone in
|
|
a<br>
|
|
booth. He eats in silence. A man sits at the counter, sipping coffee.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Exterior shot of the Physique health club, then inside to the pool.<br>
|
|
Jerry is swimming while Ramon is cleaning the pool with a large squeegee<br>
|
|
on a long pole.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I see you there Ramon.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Ramon jabs a little bit at Jerry with the squeegee)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey, l‘ll just keep swimming. Hey, hey. I’m not done.
|
|
I know<br>
|
|
what you're up to Ramon. Because I’m a member here, this is my place
|
|
to<br>
|
|
swim.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Ramon pushes the squeegee out into Jerry's swim path -- Jerry grabs the<br>
|
|
squeegee pole and they struggle in a push-pull match)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey, you better cut it out Ramon. Just stop it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Ramon loses his balance and Jerry pulls him into the pool)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RAMON: Oh.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Newman runs towards the pool in one of those old time bathing suits)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Olly, olly, oxen, free!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(It looks like Newman tries to do a cannonball into the pool, filmed in<br>
|
|
slow motion. Ramon looks up with a stunned look on his face, seeing<br>
|
|
Newman as he jumps into the pool on top of him.)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: [NO!]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Camera fade to Ramon, lying unconscious on the tile pool deck. Newman<br>
|
|
and Jerry are kneeling over him.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I think he's gonna need, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Mouth-to-mouth?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Huh.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well? Go ahead.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: You go.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You knocked him out.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Yeah, but you pulled him in.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Come on Newman. Do it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Nah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: He might die.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Yeah. Maybe.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Night exterior of George's apartment building, then inside where Susan<br>
|
|
and Elaine are sitting and talking.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: (on the phone to) Look Jerry, we'll meet you at the theater.<br>
|
|
(hangs up the phone) OK, next showings at 9:00, we can't wait any<br>
|
|
longer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Elaine, where could he be? It's not like George to just<br>
|
|
disappear.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Look, let's just leave him a note, okay?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Oh, I don't know.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Oh, come on, come on, come on. (picks up pad of paper and<br>
|
|
writes) “George, Elaine and I went to see <em>Chunnel</em> ... with
|
|
Jerry.”<br>
|
|
Love?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: “Love ... Susan.”<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Camera fade to Elaine, Susan and Jerry outside the Paragon movie<br>
|
|
theater. It's night as they wait in line to buy tickets.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So eventually these people came and, somebody, gave him<br>
|
|
mouth-to-mouth.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd05 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
ELAINE: He could have died<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah, it was a gamble.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Why didn’t you give him mouth-to-mouth?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Ah. (makes face)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: How can you possibly show your face there again?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh I can't. They revoked my membership. Newman too. You know,<br>
|
|
we can't go anywhere near there.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(they move up to the ticket window)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Hi, ah, three for <em>Chunnel</em> -- two adults ... one child.
|
|
(looking<br>
|
|
towards Jerry)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Night exterior of George's apartment building, then inside where George<br>
|
|
finds the note.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What the hell is this? “George, Elaine and I went to see<br>
|
|
<em>Chunnel</em> ... with Jerry.” With Jerry, huh? With Jerry! Great.
|
|
Great!<br>
|
|
(dials phone) Probably went to the 84th St. That's where I always go<br>
|
|
with Jerry.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Rings]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Hewwo and welcome to Movie phone. If you know the name of the<br>
|
|
movie you'd like to see, press one.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Come on. Come on.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Using your touch-tone keypad, please enter the first three<br>
|
|
letters of the movie title, now.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George presses 3 keys)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: You've selected ... Agent Zero? If that's correct, press one.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Ah, you've selected ... Brown-Eyed Girl? If this is correct,<br>
|
|
press one.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George looks baffled)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you've<br>
|
|
selected.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: <em>Chunnel</em>?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: To find the theater nearest you, please enter your five digit<br>
|
|
zip-code, now.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George enters his zip-code)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Why don't you just tell me where you want to see the movie?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Lowes Paragon, 84th and Broadway.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: (picks up paper) <em>Chunnel</em>, is playing at the Paragon 84th
|
|
Street<br>
|
|
cinema in the main theater at 9:30 PM.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah, now I gotcha! (hangs up the phone and rushes out the<br>
|
|
door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: It's also playing in theater number two at 9:00.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Night exterior of United Artists Theater with a busy street in the<br>
|
|
foreground -- taxi's drive by. Then inside to a darkened theater,<br>
|
|
George, in the isle, searches for Jerry, Elaine and Susan. He's trying<br>
|
|
to be quiet and still get their attention.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Jerry ... Where are you? I know you like to sit back here.<br>
|
|
Elaine! Susan!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
MOVIE PATRON: SHH!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(from the movie we hear this dialogue: “The English Channel Tunnel,<br>
|
|
Chunnel, runs 32.3 miles, with two openings. One here, in England and<br>
|
|
another one here, in France. That's all we got. Thank you for your<br>
|
|
time gentlemen. Can I ask you a question Mr. McKittrick.”<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
-- it's a bit hard to hear the movie dialogue, as we are supposed to be<br>
|
|
focused on George, but I was able to make out most of it)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene.<br>
|
|
Cut to Susan, Elaine and Jerry watching <em>Chunnel</em> in the theater
|
|
next<br>
|
|
door. Jerry is eating popcorn while Elaine sips a drink and eats a bit<br>
|
|
of popcorn<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I can't figure out what's going on here. I can't follow the<br>
|
|
plot. Why did they kill that guy? I thought he was with them?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: No, no. That's not the guy. That's a different guy.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Susan looks irritated at Jerry and Elaine's talking)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What is he doing in the Chunnel?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Would you two, Please?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(movie voice - clearly it's Larry David's voice) [ Everybody out of the<br>
|
|
Chunnel! Everybody out! ]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine and Jerry stop eating, sink back into their seats and look at<br>
|
|
each other, with silent expressions that say “what is her problem.”)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(again, from the movie we hear this dialogue: “Let me tell you<br>
|
|
something about the Chunnel, Mr. Thane. That our only freeway is<br>
|
|
adept. [inaudible] Elaine Brookstone will get the money bag<br>
|
|
[inaudible] Not as long as I have these long stickers. Find him and<br>
|
|
Kill him! I don't care if we have to turn this Chunnel upside down!<br>
|
|
Find Him! Everybody out of the Chunnel! Everybody out! The Chunnel’s<br>
|
|
gonna blow! AHHHHHH [Explosion]”<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
** this time it's really tough to make all of it out, so there are some<br>
|
|
inaudible parts, but I tried to pick up most of it)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New Scene.<br>
|
|
back to George in the other theater. He stands at the front of the<br>
|
|
theater, the movie screen behind and above him. He is still trying to<br>
|
|
find Jerry, Elaine and Susan.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Susan! Jerry! Where are you? I know you're there! Answer me!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
MOVIE PATRON: [Hey, sit down!]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Hey. Hey. Answer me! Come on, show yourselves!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
MOVIE PATRON: [Hey, we're trying to watch a movie here!]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Drink your soda! Come on! I know you're there, laughing at<br>
|
|
me. Laughing and lying and laughing! I had to go to Reggies, Jerry!<br>
|
|
Reggies!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
MOVIE PATRON: [Move it off of there!]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Where are you!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
2nd MOVIE PATRON: [Hey are you sure you got the right theater?]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. <em>Chunnel</em>. Susan!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
2nd MOVIE PATRON: [It's playing in two theaters.]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Two theaters?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
2nd MOVIE PATRON: [Yeah, there's a 9:00 too.]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Oh. Sorry.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(A large bucket of popcorn is thrown at George. He tries to deflect it,<br>
|
|
but the popcorn flies all over)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(once again, from the movie we hear this dialogue: “There's something<br>
|
|
else, your ex-wife. Alexandra? She's in France, I’m telling ya. No,<br>
|
|
she's in the Chunnel. The Chunnel? No! Mr. President, I’m sorry to<br>
|
|
disturb you. What is it? There's something about the Chunnel. Oh?”<br>
|
|
[inaudible] And that means your daughter is in the Chunnel. Somewhere<br>
|
|
between France and ... [inaudible]”<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
** Again, it's really tough to make all of it out, so there are some<br>
|
|
inaudible parts, but I tried to pick up most of it)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New Scene.<br>
|
|
Elaine, Susan and Jerry exit the theater.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: I thought that was pretty good, huh?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Wha’d you think Susan?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Oh, I don't know. I couldn't hear anything. You, you talked the<br>
|
|
whole movie.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Oh, well come on. You want to go grab a bite to eat?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Ah, no. I don't think so.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Why not?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Well you know, all you guys ever do is sit around the coffee shop<br>
|
|
talking, sit around Jerry's apartment talking. Frankly, I don't know<br>
|
|
how you can stand it. I’ll see you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Susan turns to walk away, but stops and looks at George being escorted<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd06 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
out of the theater by two ushers. He struggles to try and stay inside<br>
|
|
the theater, but they forcefully remove him. Jerry, Elaine and Susan<br>
|
|
watch as George it escorted out -- he does not see the three of them<br>
|
|
standing there.)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I know they're in there, the three of them, laughing at me.<br>
|
|
Together, laughing and lying.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
USHER: Let's go pal.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: They're -- They're killing independent George! And they're,<br>
|
|
they're all in on it! World's are colliding!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Camera freeze on George with the two ushers -- and into commercial]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Final scene.<br>
|
|
Outside Kramer’s apartment door: 5B A partial view of a man's face
|
|
and<br>
|
|
his hand knocks 3 times on the door.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
MOVIE PHONE GUY: Hello, and welcome to your worst nightmare.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer, sitting on the couch, reading the paper and eating cereal is<br>
|
|
obviously startled by the voice at his door)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
MOVIE PHONE GUY: (con’t) I know your in there, Cosmo Kramer, Apartment<br>
|
|
5B. You're in big trouble, Now. You've been sealing my business. If<br>
|
|
you'd like to do this the easy way, open the door, Now. Or, please<br>
|
|
select the number of seconds, you'd like to wait, before I break this<br>
|
|
door down. Please select Now.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(as the Movie Phone Guy talks, Kramer slides off the couch and ducks<br>
|
|
down under the coffee table, then pops back up with a dazed look.)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
END<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
http://www.geocities.com/rraattbbooyy/docs/newfaq.html<br>
|
|
5.14 Is there a real 555-FILM?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
When Kramer was given the phone number 555-FILK (easily confused with<br>
|
|
555-FILM)<br>
|
|
in "The Pool Guy" he was constantly called for movie showtimes.
|
|
The<br>
|
|
actual NY phone number is 212-777-FILM. Kramer's "Hewwo and welcome
|
|
to<br>
|
|
Movie phone" sounds exactly like the voice for the real number.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
--<br>
|
|
Dan Coogan<br>
|
|
Coogan Photographic / Phoenix, AZ<br>
|
|
Phone: 602.220.9192<br>
|
|
E-Mail Dan@CooganPhoto.com<br>
|
|
Web: http://www.CooganPhoto.com<br>
|
|
Web: http://www.DanCoogan.com<br>
|
|
Represented by Black Inc.<br>
|
|
Web: http://www.blackinc.com<br>
|
|
"Photography With A Vision"<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<p
|
|
align="center"> </p>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- content -->
|
|
|
|
<div id="navBar">
|
|
|
|
<div id="upperBox">
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
|
|
google_ad_width = 200;
|
|
google_ad_height = 200;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="leftnav"><br />
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
|
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
|
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
|
</div>
|
|
</form>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|