1504 lines
58 KiB
HTML
1504 lines
58 KiB
HTML
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<br>
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Transcribed by Dan Coogan <a href="http://www.cooganphoto.com">http://www.cooganphoto.com</a><br>
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Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site <br>
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<small>(Permission is given to copy scripts to other sites provided credits
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as two lines above are included - Thanks)</small></p>
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<p><br>
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Episode 93 <br>
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<br>
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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<br>
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Written by: Fred Stoller <br>
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Directed by Andy Ackerman <br>
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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<br>
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<br>
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Episode no. 93 <br>
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pc: 607, season 6, episode 7 <br>
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Broadcast date: November 10, 1994 <br>
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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<br>
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<br>
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The Cast <br>
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<br>
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Regulars: <br>
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Jerry Seinfeld ....................... Jerry Seinfeld <br>
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Jason Alexander .................. George Costanza <br>
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Julia Louis-Dreyfus .............. Elaine Benes <br>
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Michael Richards .................. Cosmo Kramer <br>
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<br>
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<br>
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Guest Stars: <br>
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<br>
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Tracy Kolis ........................... Kelly (Monk's waitress) <br>
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Daniel Gerroll ....................... Simon <br>
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Linda Wallem ...................... Hildy (Reggie's waitress) <br>
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Lawrence A. Mandley ........ Manager / Monk's <br>
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Michael Kaplan .................... Waiter <br>
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rc: Steve Hytner .................. Kenny Bania <br>
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<br>
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<br>
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<br>
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Opening monologue. <br>
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<br>
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You have a close friend and they get involved, with someone in a relationship.
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It affects your friendship doesn't it? Because it's like you were a comedy
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team, and now there's this third person, you know, it kind of throws off
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the timing. Who's on first, I don't know, uh dear, who, who do you think
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is on first? <br>
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<br>
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In fact, whenever a friend of mine ah, starts with a new girlfriend, we
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should just say, “I look like the person you use to know, but I've
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been modified to survive in this relationship. In other words, if were
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having an argument and she's there, I may say I totally disagree with
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you, but what that really means is, I’d like to help you out, but
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I’d rather continue to see her naked.” <br>
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<br>
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<br>
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<br>
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Commercial <br>
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<br>
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<br>
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Opening scene. <br>
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Exterior daylight shot of Monk's restaurant -- then inside where Jerry
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and George are sitting in the usual booth. A waitress (Kelly) walks up
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to the table to take their order. <br>
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<br>
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Waitress: O.K. Cowboys, (taps pencil on her pad) What'll you have? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: I’ll have the, ah, turkey club without the bacon. <br>
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<br>
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George: Ah, I’ll have the bacon club without the turkey. (raises
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eyebrows) <br>
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<br>
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Waitress: George, don't make me get tough with you. <br>
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<br>
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George: Why, you think you can, beat me up? <br>
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<br>
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Waitress: You wouldn't want me to mess up the beautiful face of yours.
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<br>
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<br>
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George: Huh, nggh [snort] Stop. (flirting with her he playfully hits her
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arm with the menu, then flicks it into the air) <br>
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<br>
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Waitress: You don't want bacon I’ll surprise you. (she turns and
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walks away) <br>
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<br>
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George: Wow, is she not terrific? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: She does have a way. <br>
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<br>
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George: You think she thinks I have a beautiful face, or is she just saying
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that? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Well they do work on tips. <br>
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<br>
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George: “George, don't make me get tough with you.” Whu, hu,
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hu, hu huuuu (raises arms) Who says that? She is really cool. What do
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you think? You think she likes me? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Ah, I should have got the egg white omelet. <br>
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<br>
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George: Why should she like me? Who am I? Huh, there's a million people
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to like. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: The omelet. Damn. <br>
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<br>
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George: Maybe she could like me? Is it that far fetched? Maybe she sees
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something? Is it possible? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: No. <br>
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<br>
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George: No.
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<br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Not possible. <br>
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<br>
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George: Not possible. <br>
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<br>
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(Elaine enters and walks up to the table) <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Heyyyyyy (leaning in, very friendly and happy) <br>
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<br>
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George: Hey Elaine. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Lannie, how was the trip? <br>
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<br>
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(Elaine sits down next to George in the booth) <br>
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<br>
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George: What trip? You were gone? <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: I went to England ... with Mr. Pitt, for 5 days. <br>
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<br>
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George: Hunh, pph (raises hands slightly, in amazement) How was it? <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Actually it was great. I met an Englishman, and we really, hit
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it off. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Yeah, well that relationships really got a lot of potential. <br>
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<br>
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George: he he (laughs) <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Yeah well Jerome, I, happen to be flying him in on my frequent
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flyer miles. <br>
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<br>
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George: Flying him in? How long’s he staying for? <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: It's an open ended ticket. He can return any time he wants. <br>
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<br>
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George: All this in only 5 days. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Oh no, it's Kenny Bania. <br>
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<br>
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|
(Kenny Bania is hanging up his coat on the coat rack by the front door)
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<br>
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<br>
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George: Who's he? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: (quietly) Oh, he's this awful comedian. <br>
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<br>
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|
(Bania walks over to the table, stands there with his arms on his hips)
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<br>
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<br>
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Bania: Hey Jerry. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Hey Kenny. (with some fake enthusiasm, just to be polite) <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Elaine, George (introducing them to Bania with less enthusiasm)
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<br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Hi. (she flips her hair) <br>
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<br>
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George: Hi (raises his left hand in a slight gesture to say hi) <br>
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<br>
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Bania: Hi. (to Elaine) <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: How's it going? <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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Bania: Great. I've been working out. Went from a size 40, to a 42. <br>
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<br>
|
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Jerry: No kidding. <br>
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<br>
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Bania: Yeah, I’m huge (ducks his head into his right shoulder with
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false modesty) Well, I’ll leave you guys alone. (raps his knuckle
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twice on the table, turns and walks away) <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: All right. <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: O.K. Thanks. <br>
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<br>
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|
(Bania gets about 3-4 steps away then turns around quickly) <br>
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<br>
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Bania: Oh. Jerry, You know what just hit me? I was thinking -- What size
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suit are you? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Ahh, I’m a 40. Why? <br>
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<br>
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Bania: I just got a brand new Armani suit -- doesn't fit me anymore. You
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want it? <br>
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<br>
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|
Jerry: Well I don't know if I ... <br>
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<br>
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Bania: Oh come on. Why should it just sit in the closet? <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: An Armani suit? <br>
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<br>
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|
George: Take the suit. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Well ... ok, I guess (voice trailing off) <br>
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<br>
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Bania: You gonna be home later? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Yeah. <br>
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<br>
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Bania: I’ll drop it off. (raps his knuckle twice on the table again,
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turns and walks away) <br>
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|
<br>
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|
George: Heh heh heh hey, new suit (raises coffee cup as a salute / toast)
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<br>
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|
<br>
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|
Jerry: Yeah, yeah, lucky me. (sips coffee) <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
(The waitress walks up to the table with Jerry and George's plates) <br>
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|
<br>
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|
Waitress: (to George) Here I personally made you a cold chicken sandwich.
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It's not even on the menu. <br>
|
|
<br>
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|
George: (takes a large bite - with his mouth still full, his speech is
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|
muffled) Oh, this is fabulous. <br>
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<br>
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|
(The waitress cocks her head and looks at George as if she is glad he
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|
likes the sandwich) <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
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|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior of the restaurant, then to Jerry and George standing outside
|
|
on the sidewalk. Jerry is zipping up his leather jacket. George is wearing
|
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a larger green jacket. <br>
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|
<br>
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|
George: Boy, she is nice. I like her, I like her Jerry. She's got substance.
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She oozes substance. <br>
|
|
<br>
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|
Jerry: Well, go in there and talk to her. She's not going to put them
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|
on glass. <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
George: You mean walk back in? That's the toughest move in the business.
|
|
You're sending me out to no-man’s-land, and if I get shot down I
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|
have to crawl all the way back. Well I can't do it! I can't do it, I tell
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|
ya! <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry grabs George forcefully by the collar of his coat) <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Pull yourself together. Your going in there soldier! That's an
|
|
order! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry lightly slaps George on his right arm. George turns to look at
|
|
the restaurant and the task at hand) <br>
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|
<br>
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|
Jerry: Get in there. (he pushes George in the direction of the restaurant)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior daylight shot of Jerry's brick apt. building, then to the interior
|
|
of his apt. Kramer enters quickly, sliding on his right foot. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Hey. (walking over to Jerry, who sits at the table reading the
|
|
newspaper) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Listen, I need you to do me a favor. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, I need you to help me move my refrigerator. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Why? <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Cause I’m getting rid of it. <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
[Intercom buzzes] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer turns & goes over to the intercom to push the speaker button.
|
|
He says something like “ya go,” but it's difficult to make out
|
|
what he says) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: YEAH? (speaking loudly so the visitor can hear him through the
|
|
intercom) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: [It's K.B., I have the suit] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: ALL RIGHT, COME ON UP (Jerry puts his head down - he's not looking
|
|
forward to Kenny Bania) <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: (claps hands) So ... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, well, why are you getting rid of your refrigerator? (he gets
|
|
up from the table and carries a dish into the kitchen) <br>
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|
<br>
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|
Kramer: Well after that Kidney Stone I only want fresh food. It's gotta
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|
be fresh. I’m not eating any more stored food. Plus you know I want
|
|
the space. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, what for? <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well I could put a, dresser in there. I could get dressed while
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|
I’m making breakfast. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Bania opens the door and leans his head in) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Hey (holds the Armani suit up) Here you go. (walks into the apt.)
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|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You didn’t think I was really going to give you a suit, did
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|
you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: What, you're giving him this suit? <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Bania: That's right, and it's an Armani. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Armani? Hey, Armani Jerry. (Kramer takes the suit and looks it
|
|
over) <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yes, yes, I heard. <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Come on, try it on. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer takes the jacket off of the hangar and put the pans, still on
|
|
the hanger, on the kitchen counter -- he opens the jacket for Jerry to
|
|
slip in to) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No, it's ok. <br>
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|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Come on, I want to see how it fits. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right, all right. (trying on the suit jacket) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: There you go. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Ok, Yeah all right. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh boy, that looks great. I can't believe you're giving him this.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: I don't even want anything for it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(grinning like a Hyena, Bania looks at Jerry -- Jerry's _expression looks
|
|
like “what have I gotten myself into here.”) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: He's very generous, isn't he? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yes, yes, he is. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: I’ll tell you what -- you can take me out to dinner sometime.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry starts taking the jacket off and stops -- looking very surprised
|
|
at Bania) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Dinner? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Yeah. You buy me a meal -- you can't get a better deal than that
|
|
(pats Jerry on the shoulder) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: No, you'll never get a better deal than that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: All right. I’ll leave you alone. (turns and walks out the
|
|
door) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, I’ll see you. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: All right, ooh look at that Armani, huh, yeah. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
(Jerry has the jacket off and walks over to the table -- he tosses the
|
|
it onto the table) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, that's a deal. That's a horrible deal. I don't want to go
|
|
out to dinner with him. I’d rather make my own suit. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer rubs his fingers through his high standing hair as George enters
|
|
the apt.) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I did it! It's all done! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey. (raises hands into “fists of encouragement”) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I did it. Hunh, we're going out as soon as she gets off of work
|
|
and it'll still be daytime. You know I, I’m much better in the daytime
|
|
then I am at night. it's less pressure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I love the day date. No wine, No shower. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
A daylight shot of a yellow taxi driving down the street, then inside
|
|
to the back seat of the taxi -- Simon, the Englishman that Elaine met
|
|
on her trip is riding with her. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: So the trip was good? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Yes (nice English accent) Apart from that, dreadful airline food.
|
|
It tends to reek havoc with my stomach. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: You know I, I have to say, I've never admitted this to anyone,
|
|
but um, I kind of like airline food. (leans in and laughs, flirting with
|
|
him) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: That's probably because of ... [muttering] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yeah, what? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: [sighs] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Where I come from, we don't say “What?” It's proper to
|
|
say “Pardon?” <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Huh. [muttering -- sounds like “this should be interesting”]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Pardon? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Nothing. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Beautiful aerial shot of Central Park and part of the city (visible off
|
|
to the left) -- looks to be a beautiful autumn day. Then to the waitress
|
|
(Kelly) and George strolling along a path in the park. Each has a coat
|
|
on and their hands are in their pockets. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly: So then about a year ago I started selling, these funky little
|
|
hair clips. It's going pretty good. I make them in my apartment. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(a horse with rider walks by) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly: I’m just doing this waitress thing for a while, because I
|
|
wanted to go to Europe this summer and I could use a few extra ... Careful
|
|
(she points to the ground, so George will see the fresh horse manure and
|
|
avoid stepping in it) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Oh. It's just horse manure (huh huh - laughs, he points back at
|
|
the horse that walked by) Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind
|
|
the word “manure.” You know, it's, it's “nure,” which
|
|
is good. and a “ma” in front of it. MA-NURE. When you consider
|
|
the other choices, “manure” is actually pretty refreshing. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George glances at his watch) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly: That's a nice watch George. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly: You know, my boyfriend has the same one. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Huh. Really? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly: Yeah, he loves watches. He's a real watch freak. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Well, how about that? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly: Ooh look out. (pointing at the ground - squishing sound) You stepped
|
|
right in it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yes, I sure did. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior of Jerry's brick apartment building with the staircase - then
|
|
inside where George and Jerry are talking. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: So you just pretended it didn’t bother you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: What is that, Boyfriend? I don't understand that. What, what does
|
|
she think I asked her out for? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Boy, It's the way they just slip that in there too. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah, like it's just part of the conversation. “Oh my boyfriend
|
|
really likes watches. He's a real watch freak.” Well that's fabulous.
|
|
(snaps fingers in the air a couple of times) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well let me ask you this. What exactly did you say when you asked
|
|
her out? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I said, “would you like to go for a walk or something.”
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, a walk, well -- <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Or something. I said, “Or Something!” <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Or something. Yeah, that's a date. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: (snaps fingers) There you go. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You know there is always the possibility, that she called an audible.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: What do you mean? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well she got up to the line of scrimmage, didn’t like the
|
|
looks of the defense and changed the play. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I think things were going ok. We were having a nice conversation.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Uh huh. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I mentioned how I liked horse manure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You did? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah. You said you liked horse manure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. You know, about how when you break it down, it's really
|
|
a very positive thing. you know, you have a “nure,” with a “ma”
|
|
in front of it. MA-NURE. It's not bad. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: And it was around this point that she mentioned the boyfriend?
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. (Jerry nodding) ... Oh, you think because of what I said
|
|
about the manure. I wa, wa, was just saying how it takes a negative thing,
|
|
and puts it on a positive spin on it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I’m just saying there's a chance she may not have been enamored
|
|
with your thoughts and feelings on manure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: So you don't think she really has a boyfriend? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: My honest opinion, I think she made it up. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Well then she's just a Liar, Isn't she? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer enters) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Hey. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well ... you want something to eat, don't you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Ahh, no, no, no. You got me all wrong buddy. I am loving this
|
|
no refrigerator. You know what I discovered? I really like depriving myself
|
|
of things. It's fun. Very monastic. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Well what do you eat? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: It's all fresh. Fresh fish, fresh foul, fresh fruit. I buy it,
|
|
I omniga nominga, I eat it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well I’m glad it's working out. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh yeah, it's working out. And I got a date with that waitress
|
|
that works at Reggie’s. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Boy, if i could meet a hostess, we could open up our own place.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Yeah, well, I’ll tell you, she's a full-figured gal. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
Jerry: Is she? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh you better believe it buddy. Hey George, we could double sometime.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah, yeah, yeah we could. You know, ah, Kramer, the next time
|
|
you talk to her, find out if she knows Kelly, from Monk's. I wanna know
|
|
if she really has a boyfriend. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: All right it's done. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George and Kramer go over by the computer. George is writing something
|
|
on a piece of paper) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Telephone rings - Jerry picks up the phone ] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hello? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Hi, Jerry. It's Kenny. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, Hi. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You know, I was thinking if you're not busy, maybe I could get
|
|
my meal today? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry pauses and thinks for a few seconds) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, you wanna get that meal, don't you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: How about Mendy’s, ooh, ever been there? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No I haven't? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Ah you'll love it. I’ll meet you there around 7:00. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right. (hangs up the phone) Yeah, I really needed that suit.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior of Mendy’s Restaurant at dusk - then inside where Bania
|
|
is sitting across the table from Jerry. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: I start out with curls. That's good for the bicep. (motions with
|
|
2 fingers along his right bicep) I do 10 reps, 2 sets. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: That's fantastic. (he could care less) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You work out with weights? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No I don't. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You should. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Why? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Bania’s broad smile of enthusiasm turns into a dumb founded look
|
|
...) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You worn the suit yet? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No, not yet. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Waiter: have you decided? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Oh, get the swordfish. Best swordfish in the city. The best, Jerry.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I’ll have the salmon. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Waiter: And you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Ahh, you know what I think. I’m just going to have soup. Yeah,
|
|
I’ll save the meal for another time. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Another time? What other time? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: I had a hot dog earlier. I’m not that hungry. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No, no, Bania, no. This is the dinner. The soup counts. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Soup's not a meal. You're supposed to buy me a meal. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I’m not stopping you from eating. Go ahead and eat. Get anything
|
|
you want. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: I don't want anything but soup. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Then that's the meal. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: But I had the hot dog. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I didn’t tell you to have a hot dog. Who told you to have
|
|
a hot dog? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Hey, I give you a brand-new Armani suit, and you won't even buy
|
|
me a meal? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right, fine. Get the soup! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
The camera fades from the previous scene into the next scene. It's the
|
|
next day, outside in front of an apartment building. Elaine sits on the
|
|
front stoop while Jerry leans against the railing as they talk. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: So he just gets soup. He wants to save the meal. So now I got to
|
|
do it all over again. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: What kind of soup did he get? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I don't know? Consomm or something. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Consomm, hmm. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, that's not really a meal Jerry. I mean if he had gotten
|
|
Chicken Gumbo, or Matzah Ball, or Mushroom Barley. Then I would agree
|
|
with you. Those are very hardy soups. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Elaine you're missing the whole point. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: The meal is the act of sitting down with him. It doesn't matter
|
|
what you get, as long as he's sitting in that restaurant, its a meal.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Was it a cup or a bowl? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You see -- ah, uh ... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: I’m just curious. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: A bowl, ok? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Did he crumble any crackers in it? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry blows out a breath) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: (reiterating the question) Did he crumble, any crackers in it?
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: As a mater of fact, he did. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, well. Crackers in a bowl. That -- That could be a meal. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: It's like I’m talking to my Aunt Sylvia here. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Simon comes out of the apartment building onto the steps next to Jerry)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, hi Simon. This is Jerry. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Hello. (to Jerry, politely -- then quickly turns to Elaine) Elaine,
|
|
do you have any cash on you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Um, yeah in my purse. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: No. There was only six dollars. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, I have some money. What do you need? (pulls out some bills)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Well, 20 should cover me. (snatches the cash) Thanks mate. (he
|
|
walks down the stairs to the sidewalk) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Where you going? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: (starts to turn back to Elaine) Just visiting. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, OK, see you later. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: I won't be back for dinner. (turns and walks off down the street)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: [ English accent ] Pardon? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior shot of Monk’s Restaurant, then inside - George is sitting
|
|
at the usual booth and Jerry sits down on the other side of the table.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: So is she working? Is she here? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah, yeah, she's here. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Have you said anything to her? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: No, but I’m feeling very uncomfortable. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Are you going to say anything? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: There she is. (waiving his arms quickly above the table - to nix
|
|
the conversation) No no no no no no. <br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd04 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: Hello <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Hello. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: Well, what's it going to be? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: What's it gonna be? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: Yes. What'll you have? Are you eating? It's in that
|
|
vein. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I’ll eh, I’ll just have a bowl of chili. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I’ll have an egg white omelet. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kelly the Waitress walks away) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: What's it gonna be? ... You hear that? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, that was bad. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Did you feel that tension? We use to have banter - (puts menu
|
|
back with frustration) - there's no more banter. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(looking towards the front door, Jerry sees Kenny Bania hanging up his
|
|
coat on the coat rack) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, no, it's Kenny. Slide out so he can't sit down. (George &
|
|
Jerry each slide to the end of their booth seats) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Hey. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You worn the suit yet? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Actually, I did. I put it on last night and slept in it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You did? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: ... Oh, I’m joking. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: OH! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Can I squeeze in? (to George) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Sure you can. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Bania sits next to George as he and Jerry slid back to their original
|
|
seats in the booth. Kelly the Waitress brings George his bowl of chili)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: Can I take your order? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: What kind of soup do you have? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Why don't you get a sandwich? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Ok, I’ll have tomato soup and ah, tuna on toast. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: OK ... (nodding his head up and down) This is it ‘cha know
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George grabs some napkins) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: This is the meal ... so stock up buddy boy. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: What are you talking about? this isn't a meal. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George tucks a napkin over his shirt collar) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yes it is. Soup and sandwich. That is a meal. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant, like Mendy’s.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I tried to do that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: This is lunch in a coffee shop <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Doesn't matter, This is it. This completes the transaction <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Ah, soup and a sandwich for a brand-new Armani suit. Is that any
|
|
kind of gesture? (turns to George) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: I’m really not comfortable ... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer walks up to the table, leans in, with both hands on the table)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: (to George) Hey, I just spoke to ah, Hilde about your friend.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: She doesn't have a boyfriend. She made it up. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer points at George, and makes the “pop” sound with his
|
|
lips. George looks over his left shoulder, back into the kitchen, then
|
|
takes his napkin off of his shirt and throws it down on the table) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
---------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
Music and fade to commercial <br>
|
|
---------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Elaine walks into Jerry's apartment and then over to the couch. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Hi. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Where's Simon? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, he'll be right up. He's just getting some beer. And I’m
|
|
not expecting ... any change. (leans forward as she brings her hands together
|
|
in front of her, then sits on the couch) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: When's he leaving? (putting some items into the refrigerator) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: About 2 days. Although he's hinting at how he'd like to stay.
|
|
Fortunately he has no money, and no prospects. (she smiles) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Simon walks in the open door carrying some beer) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Hey mate. Fancy a beer? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Ah, no thanks. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Telephone rings ] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Simon leans down to kiss Elaine) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: (on the phone) Hello? No, I’m sorry Bania ... I’m not
|
|
going over this again. Well who told you to order soup? ... No! There's
|
|
no dinner. There's not going to be any dinner. You've had a sandwich and
|
|
2 bowls of soup and that's it. Good-bye. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(hangs up the cordless phone and sets it down -- blows air out of his
|
|
mouth and cheeks ... Then he snaps his fingers) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey, what size suit are you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: 40. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: 40. Perfect. Brand-new Armani suit, you want it? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Absolutely. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Great, its yours. I can't stand the sight of it. (he hands Simon
|
|
the suit on the hanger) <br>
|
|
Elaine, here’s the car keys. (tosses her the keys) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Thanks <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Telephone rings ] (Jerry picks up the cordless phone) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yo? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Listen Jerry, I've been doing some thinking. I want my suit back.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I don't have your suit. I gave it away. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine and Simon are exiting the apartment door, Simon goes first. Elaine
|
|
with a big smile, realizing it's Bania on the phone, bends forward from
|
|
the waist slightly, opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue like she
|
|
is throwing up and then exits the apartment and closes the door.) <br>
|
|
Bania: Well it's my suit. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well it's gone. I’m sorry. Good-bye Bania. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(he hangs up the cordless phone. Kramer bursts in) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Hey. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Um, yeah. (glances around the apt.) Oh, uh ... well, how's everything?
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Ok. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Good, ah, what's going on? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Nothing. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Really. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You want food, don't cha? (nodding his head up and down) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: It's not for me. It's for Hilde -- the waitress I was telling
|
|
you about. She's hungry, she wants food. If I go back in there without
|
|
any food ... there's gonna be trouble. (his voice gets really high pitched
|
|
on his last sentence) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right, go ahead <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Thanks buddy. (goes over to the fridge and pulls out a few things)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Hilde walking into the open doorway of Jerry's apt. - she stands with
|
|
<!-- BeginAd05 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
her arms on her hips) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: Did you find anything! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Uh, yeah, ah ... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(looking down at the food he is clutching between his elbow and chest)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: There's a few things in here, ah, peanut butter, cheese, yeah
|
|
... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: Cheese is good. Yeah, what kind? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Uh, Swiss. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: All right, it'll have to do. Come on. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Hilde and Kramer go back to his apt. Kramer shuffles both feet wildly
|
|
as he exits) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
On the sidewalk, Jerry walks up to George, who is outside, one store over
|
|
from the coffee shop. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What are we doing out here? Aren't we going to go in and eat? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I can't go in there. I feel too uncomfortable. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, what are you saying? So we're not going to go in there anymore?
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Hey, What are you doing out here? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: We can't eat here anymore, cause he took a waitress out for a walk.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: What's the difference? Let's go to Reggie’s. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Reggie’s? I can't eat anything there. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: It's the same menu. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: There's no “Big Salad.” <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: They'll make you a “Big Salad.” What do you think, they're
|
|
the only one's that make a “Big Salad”? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: All right. Let's go, to Reggie’s. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(George half-bows to Elaine and they start to walk down the sidewalk)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: So what's going on with Simon? Did he leave? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Ahh ... wait till you hear this. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Daytime exterior of Reggie’s, then inside, where George sits on the
|
|
left side of the booth while Elaine and Jerry sit on the right side of
|
|
the booth. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: So Simon picks this woman up, right in front of me. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Look at this. They make a point of saying on the menu, “No
|
|
egg white omelets.” Look at that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: So what! Have a yoke. It won't kill you. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: (walks up to the table) Hello. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, hi Hilde. Can I get an egg white omelet? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: Did you read the menu? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right, just give me a western. (unhappy) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: How about a Big Salad? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: A big salad? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: (to George) You see? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Just tell her what’cha want, they'll make it for ya. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: It's a salad, only bigger, with lots of stuff in it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: I can bring you 2 small salads. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Could you put it in a big bowl? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: We don't have any big bowls. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: All right. Just give me a cup of decaf. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Hilde: We have Sanka. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine looks up at Hilde with subtle disbelief) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior of Jerry's apartment building, then inside where Jerry and George
|
|
enter. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I mean, it's not fair. I've been going there for 7 years. She's
|
|
been there 3 weeks. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Not fair. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: If anyone should be forced to leave that place, it should be her!
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: She's on your turf. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: If only she could get fired. Is there any way that could happen?
|
|
I mean I know how to get myself fired. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You're the best. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Well ...... but how do I get someone else fired? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well as I see it, you've got to apply the same principles that
|
|
get you fired, but redirected, outwardly. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Kramer enters) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: H-Hey. She's hungry Jerry. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, there's nothing left. There's no food. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: No food? Well you gotta have something -- (rummages through Jerry's
|
|
cupboards and refrigerator) -- I can't go back in there with no food.
|
|
She's expecting something Jerry. You don't know what she's like when that
|
|
blood sugar is drops. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Hilde ]: Food! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: There, you see. She's already in a bad mood. She just got fired.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Why'd she get fired? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh, because I called over there a couple of times and the manager
|
|
didn’t like it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry turns quickly and looks at George -- George, sitting on the couch,
|
|
immediately understands, he picks up the phone with his right hand, points
|
|
at Jerry with his left arm extended, dials and licks his lips) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
New scene. <br>
|
|
Exterior of the coffee shop the inside where Elaine and Jerry sit at the
|
|
usual booth. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: So, Simon is definitely going back now. He's meeting me here to
|
|
return my keys. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Boy, he's a real bounder, isn't he? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yes. He's one of those bounders. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: Egg white omelet and Big Salad. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: AHhh. Thank you. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: I just wanted to let you guys know that Friday's my
|
|
last day. Bloomingdales ordered a bunch of my clips, and thank God, I
|
|
don't have to do this any more. (turns and walks away) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Ah (hu ha - small laugh) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Bania walks up to the table) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Hey Jerry, where's my suit? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I don't have it. You want half my omelet? (holds his omelet plate
|
|
up to Bania) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Monk's Manager: (on the phone, we assume it's George calling) I told you,
|
|
she's busy. She can't come to the phone now! (hangs up) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Monk's Manager: You better tell your boyfriend to stop calling here. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kelly the Waitress: Oh he's not my boyfriend. It's that bald guy with
|
|
the glasses, who's always here with them. he's trying to get me in trouble.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Monk's Manager stands there for a second thinking -- looking at Elaine
|
|
and Jerry. Both of them have a hand up on the side of their faces. Monk's
|
|
Manager walks over and puts both hands on the table and leans in) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Monk's Manager: HEY! Yeah. I got a message for you. You tell your friend
|
|
George, that the next time I see him around here, I’m going to turn
|
|
him into my Own, Personal, Hand-Puppet. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd06 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
(Jerry makes a face and silent “Ouoo”) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Well, hello. Here you are as promised. You see, I’m a man
|
|
of my word. (drops keys into Elaine's extended palm) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: When are you leaving? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Simon: Elaine, are you trying to get rid of me? Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
|
|
I was supposed to leave tomorrow, but all of a sudden, I've been set up
|
|
with a job interview that might enable me to extend my visit indefinitely.
|
|
And it is all due, to this suit. How do I look? I’m a shoe-in aren't
|
|
I. Thanks again love. (touches the table, turns and walks to the exit)
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: (turns towards the lunch counter) Hey Kenny. You still want to
|
|
get that suit back? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: (leans backwards from the counter) Yeah! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: There it goes. (pointing at Simon walking out the door) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Bania: Hey! Hey! (he runs out the door after Simon) [ Come Here You! ]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine and Jerry watch as Bania runs out the door after Simon) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Simon: What are you doing. Unhand me ] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Bania: Take It Off! ] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[ Sounds of struggling] [ Material rips] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Elaine and Jerry look at each other, and toast each other by raising
|
|
their forks in the air. Their mouths are open with the silent Ahhhhh _expression
|
|
of joy) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Final scene. <br>
|
|
Inside Reggie’s dinner. George sits silently in a booth. A plate
|
|
of food on the table in front of him. Another patron is at the counter
|
|
by himself. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George pours a bit of ketchup onto his plate / food (*Actually we see
|
|
the end of the bottle, which is supposed to be obscured by some elements
|
|
on the table -- it does not look like any ketchup comes out of the bottle).
|
|
He replaces the ketchup bottle cap and sets the bottle down on the table.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
He picks up his fork and takes a bite from his plate. Then he picks up
|
|
a bottle of A1 sauce and pours a bit on his food, replaces the cap and
|
|
sets the bottle down. Then he picks up (what looks to be) a smaller bottle
|
|
of Tabasco, pours a bit of it on his food, replaces the cap and sets the
|
|
bottle in the table caddy on the table. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Then he struggles with something on the table (it's near impossible to
|
|
distinguish what the item is, as it's a wide shot) -- trying to get the
|
|
item open, the lid flips into the air and flies over his right shoulder,
|
|
making a noise as it lands on the ground. Hearing the noise, the man at
|
|
the counter turns to see what it is and George looks over at him. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
END <br>
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>Transcribed by Dan Coogan <a
|
|
href="http://www.cooganphoto.com">http://www.cooganphoto.com</a><br>
|
|
Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<p
|
|
align="center"> </p>
|
|
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<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
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<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
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<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
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<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
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<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
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<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
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<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
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<div>
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<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
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<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
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<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
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<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
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<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
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</div>
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</form>
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</ul>
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<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
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<p> </p>
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</div>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
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<script type="text/javascript"><!--
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google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
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/* html-nav_bar-tower */
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google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
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google_ad_width = 160;
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google_ad_height = 600;
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//-->
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</script>
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<script type='text/javascript'>
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if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
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document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
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}
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</script>
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<p ></p>
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<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
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<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
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<script type="text/javascript">
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var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
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var bannerSize = 2300;
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var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
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var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
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|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
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|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
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|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
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|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
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|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
|
|
}
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|
</script>
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|
</div>
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<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
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|
<!--
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|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
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|
<script type='text/javascript'>
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|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
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|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|
|
<!-- text below generated by server. PLEASE REMOVE -->
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!--webbot bot="HTMLMarkup" startspan TAG="XBOT" --><!--webbot bot="HTMLMarkup" endspan
|
|
-->
|
|
<script language="JavaScript">var PUpage="76001089"; var PUprop="geocities"; </script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://www.geocities.com/js_source/pu5geo.js"></script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://www.geocities.com/js_source/ygIELib9.js?v3"></script>
|
|
<script
|
|
language="JavaScript">var yviContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001089&l=NE&b=1&t=1037840093';yviR='us';yfiEA(0);</script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mc/mc.js"></script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://domainpending.com/js_source/geov2.js"></script>
|
|
<script language="javascript">geovisit();</script>
|
|
<noscript>
|