743 lines
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743 lines
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<h1>The Tape</h1>
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<p>transcribed by Mohamel, March 2000</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Episode 25</p>
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<p>Jerry Seinfeld: Himself</p>
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<p>George Costanza: Jason Alexander</p>
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<p>Kramer: Michael Richards</p>
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<p>Elaine: Julia Louis- Dreyfus</p>
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<p>Repairman:John Apicella</p>
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<p>Ping: Ping Wu</p>
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<p>Written by Larry David and Bob Shaw & Don McEnery</p>
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<p>Directed: David Steinberg</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Opening monologue</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Jerry: ....hair that was on your shower soap today could be in
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your head tomorrow. How did they do the first transplant?</p>
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<p>Did they have the guy take a shower , get his soap , rush it in
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there by helicopter, you know </p>
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<p>keep the soap alive on the soap support system ....looks it over.
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"We got the hair but I think we lost</p>
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<p>the Zest." </p>
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<p>....rejects the transplant with organs.</p>
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<p>Is it possible that a head could reject the hair transplant . Guy
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just standin' there and suddenly...</p>
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<p>..Bink! ( motions hair flying out of his head)........lands in
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someone's frozen yogurt.</p>
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<p>Jerry's apartment. A repairman is working on his fridge , Jerry
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doing work with headphones on.</p>
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<p>Repairman: .....The gaskets that you have here are asymmetrical.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah..ha!.. really. ( Jerry is barely listening to him )</p>
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<p>Repairman: So I took off the motor relay on the compressor....'cos
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you..you (stutters) you've got some discoloration</p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh! well whatever you have to do.</p>
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<p>Repairman: I was working with one.....mount at a time 'cos you
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don't wanna disturb the position of the compressor.</p>
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<p>Jerry: (sarcastically) No you don't..</p>
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<p>George enters the apartment.</p>
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<p>George: Hey! what are listening to?</p>
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<p>Jerry: My show from last night.</p>
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<p>George: Oh! you taped it?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah , I was doing new material.</p>
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<p>George: Hey! Did 'ya ever do that thing on the toes that I said
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. </p>
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<p>Jerry: Huh?</p>
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<p>George: Yeah! like the big toe is like the captain of the toes,
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but sometimes the toe next to the big toe gets so</p>
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<p>big that there's like a power struggle and the second toe assumes
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control of the foot.</p>
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<p>Jerry: The" coup d-toe"</p>
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<p>George: Yeah. Did you do it?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah!</p>
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<p>George: So?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Nothin'.....nothing at all.</p>
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<p>George: Need to use the phone.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Who you calling?</p>
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<p>George: China.</p>
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<p>Jerry: China really?</p>
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<p>George: Yeah. I'll pay for it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: What for?</p>
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<p>George: What for? . I'll tell you what for.... for hair.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hair?</p>
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<p>George: The Chinese have done it my friend . The Chinese have done
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it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Done what?</p>
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<p>George: Discovered a cure for baldness.</p>
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<p>Repairman: Did you see that last night?</p>
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<p>George: It was on CNN ( Kramer comes in and he is taping from a
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Camcorder) This Chinese doctor Zeng Zau.</p>
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<p>has discovered a cure for baldness.</p>
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<p>Jerry: ( to Kramer) What's this?</p>
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<p>Kramer: Well I just got it. Spector gave it to me , he's giving
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everything away...becoming a minimalist.</p>
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<p>George: Is that the guy who likes fat women?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Doesn't the fat fetish conflict with the minimalism.</p>
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<p>Kramer: ( to George) You , you know what you should've done is
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watching that report on CNN last night.</p>
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<p>George: I did, I'm trying to call China.</p>
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<p>Kramer: You can't call China now its like, what, three 'O clock
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in the morning there</p>
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<p>Jerry; Oh! my God!....</p>
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<p>George: What?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh! God.. Oh! man.....Oh! brother!!! I can't believe what
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I'm hearing. This woman his talking to</p>
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<p>me on my tape recorder while I was on stage. This is wild. I've
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never heard anything like this in my life.</p>
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<p>Listen to this.</p>
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<p>George: (George puts on the headphones) Oh! my god...</p>
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<p>Kramer: Give me it..( tries to pull them off George's head)</p>
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<p>George: Wa..Wait.Wait!......Who is this woman?</p>
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<p>Jerry: I don't know . I have no idea . I was just listening and
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she came on.</p>
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<p>George: This is like a Penthouse letter...Why can't I meet women
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like this?</p>
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<p>Kramer: All right Come on....again attempts to pull headphones
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off)</p>
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<p>George: WAIT ,WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!!!!.... Where was the tape recorder?</p>
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<p>Jerry: It was in the back of the room on the left, she must have
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been sitting right in front of it.</p>
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<p>George: My god!!! </p>
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<p>Kramer: C'mon it's my turn.</p>
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<p>George: All right, All right, all, right!!( gives the headphones
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to Kramer) How you gonna find out who this is?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Good question.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Where's the volume..(finds it) A, YAI..YA...YA..YA!!!!
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</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Cut to Monks</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>George: What do the Chinese have to gain by faking a cure for baldness?</p>
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<p>Jerry: If it was real ,they would never let it out of the country.
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No baldness , it'd be like a nation of Supermen.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Hi boys.</p>
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<p>Both: Hello...</p>
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<p>Elaine: What's happening?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Tell her. I wanna hear her reaction.</p>
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<p>George: This woman left this really sexy message on Jerry's tape
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recorder......</p>
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<p>Jerry: (pushes George) NOT THAT YOU IDIOT!!</p>
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<p>George: What??</p>
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<p>Jerry: The Chinese , the Chinese bald cure.</p>
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<p>George: I thought you meant the..</p>
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<p>Jerry: No I meant the bald cure. We were talking about the bald
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cure.</p>
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<p>Elaine: What did she say?</p>
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<p>Peter: Seinfeld.....( from way in the back of the restaurant. Cheesy
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plot device to have Jerry leave the</p>
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<p>table for a minute so George and Elaine can talk)</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hey! Is that Peter? ...I can't believe it. Get me a cup
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of Decaf.( leaves table)</p>
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<p>Elaine: So did you hear this message?</p>
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<p>George: Oh!, he he, It was unbelievable </p>
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<p>Elaine: Really!</p>
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<p>George: Yeah. I can't get over it.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Huh! Sexy?</p>
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<p>George: This woman drove us out of our minds</p>
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<p>Elaine: Like ...humm...How did she sound?</p>
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<p>George: She had this throaty , sexy kind of whisper.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Really , like a... like a....(leans over to George and
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whispers) Jerry, I want to slide my tongue</p>
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<p>around you like a snake.....Ooooooooooha ,oooooohaaaa.....</p>
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<p>George: Oh! my God!!......You?.....You?...That was you?....</p>
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<p>Elaine: Shhhhhh!!!</p>
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<p>George: how did ya?...</p>
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<p>Elaine: I stopped at the club to see him and I was standing in
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the back while he was on, right?,</p>
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<p>and there was this tape recorder there and I.....got this impulse.
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Ha Ha Ha Ha....What?</p>
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<p>George: Oh! no no nothing....</p>
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<p>Elaine: Now listen , promise me you won't tell him Okay.I want
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to have a little fun with this.</p>
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<p>George: I had no Idea you were filled with such....sexuality..</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh! That was nothing. So listen, what about this bald thing?</p>
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<p>George: Ah! Some bald thing, a bald thing I dunno. It's nothing</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Jerry comes back</p>
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<p>Jerry: Remember Peter?</p>
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<p>George: Peter?</p>
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<p>Jerry: You remember Peter. remember I told you how he went to the
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track that one time and he was yelling at this</p>
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<p>jockey and the jockey got off the horse and started chasin' him.</p>
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<p>Elaine: So listen , what about this girl on the tape recorder?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh Elaine....What do you think an enraptured female fan
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of mine might say?</p>
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<p>Elaine: I don't know.</p>
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<p>Jerry: She went on in some detail about certain activities, illegal
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in some states, for consenting adults.</p>
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<p>Things you would know very little about.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh! really.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well this type of things is very common when you're in show
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business.</p>
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<p>Elaine: So what, Are you gonna ask her out.</p>
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<p>Jerry: No I can't she didn't leave her name or number.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Bummer...Okay , good luck finding her . I'm taking off.</p>
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<p>George: Wh.. Where you going?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Home.</p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>George: Why you going home for?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Well , I just came from the gym , unless I can shower at
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your place.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Sure.</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Back to Jerry's</p>
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<p>George: Oh! my god. Oh! man...</p>
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<p>Jerry: I don't get it. Why would a woman do that and then leave
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no way to get in touch with her.</p>
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<p>Elaine: (coming out of the shower in a bathrobe) May be she realized
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she could never have you and she jumped off</p>
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<p>the George Washington Bridge.</p>
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<p>George: (phone rings ,picks up) Operator? Beijing?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Why are you doing this?</p>
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<p>George: Why do I do anything? tsss...For women.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Elaine have you ever gone out with a bald man?</p>
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<p>Elaine: No.</p>
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<p>Jerry: You know what that makes you?...A baldist.</p>
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<p>George: Oh. This I need. Hello!! Hello. i..i..is this the hair
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restoration clinic? ...Does anyone speak English?</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>Elaine: ( to Kramer who just got in with his camcorder) Ooooh!
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You're taping.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Just be yourselves. ( Elaine plays with her hair flirtingly)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Aah! Okaaay.</p>
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<p>Kramer: Well we're talking with Elaine Benes; Adult film star on
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the set of her new picture "Elaine does the Upper</p>
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|
<p>West side"</p>
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<p>Elaine: ( to the camera) Hi. How 're you doin'?</p>
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<p>Kramer: I'm doin' fine.</p>
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<p>George: Do you speak English?...English!!</p>
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<p>Kramer: Whooooa! here's the director Jerry Seinfeld . Jerry , you
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discovered Elaine Benes?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well yes I did that's true. A couple of a guys I knew in
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the coastguard told me about her.... and I sensed</p>
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<p>that she had the anger and intensity that I needed to make this
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film work.</p>
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<p>George: English. Does anybody speak English .Nobody speaks English.</p>
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<p>Kramer: So What scene are you ready to shoot now , Elaine?</p>
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<p>George: In this scene my co-star who's right over here ( goes over
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to George who is still on the phone)</p>
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<p>Follow meeeee... is George Costanza, he plays an airline pilot
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who's just returned from Rome</p>
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<p>and I'm about to show him how much I've missed him.</p>
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<p>Door buzzer rings</p>
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<p>Kramer: That's my Chinese food...So George is this your first movie
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with Elaine?</p>
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<p>George: (visibly disturbed) I...I..I dunno.</p>
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<p>Kramer: So Elaine in your movies is the sex real or is it simulated?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Oh. it's always simulated....except with George that's
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in my contract.</p>
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<p>George: All right, Kramer that's it.....( pushes the camera) Hello
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. English. Does anyone speak English</p>
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<p>Kramer: ( to the Chinese delivery boy) How much do I owe you?</p>
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<p>Ping: $15.90.</p>
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<p>Kramer: $15.90.?</p>
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<p>George: Huh. Excuse me (to Ping) Hum... Do you speak chinese?</p>
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<p>Ping: Chinese....Yeah.</p>
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<p>George: Look...humm..I'm on with Beijing with the hair restauration
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clinic. Could you talk to them for</p>
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<p>me and tell them I'd like to place an order.</p>
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<p>Ping: (sounds like) Gwen , Ayon. Wonche son thai gettin my chon
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fai yu.( looks at George and laughs)</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>George: They got a billion people over there and he found a relative.</p>
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<p>Ping: Ah Fuka suma. If you send money they send cream.</p>
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<p>George: They send me? Aw right ..ask 'em Does it really work?</p>
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<p>Ping: Gym a gun sen tokomo. Chin che .They say you grow hair, Look
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a like Stalin</p>
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<p>George: Ask' em Are there any side effects?</p>
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<p>Ping: Dowe o futo yum.... Impotence. ....( makes a just kidding
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gesture)</p>
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<p>George: Aw! Funny he's a funny guy.</p>
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<p>Ping: Get a money order from the Bank of China , be here three
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days after they get check.</p>
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<p>George leaves all excited.</p>
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<p>Ping: (continues his phone call) Ha Pachini fair pousher pousher
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mouist I fai chin fousher...</p>
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<p>Jerry: ( as Ping rambles on ) ...S'cuse me ( Ping looks up) Kind
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of an expensive call.</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>On a street at night in George's car</p>
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<p> </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Thanks for driving me home. What did I do to deserve this?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yoohoo ,Plenty......Wh..wh..what are doing hum...you're
|
|
going in?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Well ya. I guess so Why? You wanna do something?</p>
|
|
<p>George: yeah....euh...I dunno What?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Pffft....there's really nothing to do.</p>
|
|
<p>George: ( becoming more and more awkward) Yeah.....</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Do you think of anything?..</p>
|
|
<p>George: No, no....(mumbles)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I am up for anything.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Really...(he honks the car and is startled, Elaine laughs)......I
|
|
have to say...You were really good</p>
|
|
<p>doing that porno thing....you're talented.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I was just kiddin, around.......</p>
|
|
<p>George: I thought the thing you said about the sex not being simulated
|
|
. That was really funny.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: ( feeling awkward as well) Yeah! that was a...f...fun ..mmm?.</p>
|
|
<p>George; So all right I'll speak to you through Jerry and everything.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Okay...Thanks a lot for the ride.</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine gets out of the car , George tries to catch his breath.</p>
|
|
<p>Back to Jerry's.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: ..She was sitting at the table where I had my tape recorder...Okay
|
|
great. Thanks again.. bye.</p>
|
|
<p>HA Ha..Who do these women think they're dealing with? Did she think
|
|
she was gonna leave this incredibly</p>
|
|
<p>erotic message on my tape and I was just gonna let it go. Not Bloody
|
|
likely...</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: What is that?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's my cockney accent.</p>
|
|
<p>kramer: Naw ,na , that's no good.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Lets hear yours.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Not bloody likely..</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's the worst cockney accent I've ever heard in my life.(
|
|
George enters) Hey! Georgie boy , guess what I</p>
|
|
<p>got.</p>
|
|
<p>George; Guess, what I got.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh! Is that the bald stuff?</p>
|
|
<p>George: From China. All the way from China.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Wait,wait wait...Let me get the camera.</p>
|
|
<p>George: No Don't get the camera , we don't need the camera. Listen
|
|
I know your skeptical , but I really believe</p>
|
|
<p>in the Chinese.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yes I am skeptical.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Why do you have to be so suspicious of every one. This
|
|
is a great man Zeng Zau, he wants to help bald people.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: W..W..Wa...Wa..Wait..Wait wait.. Now lets videotape your
|
|
head for the before picture, so we can watch</p>
|
|
<p>how it grows and stuff. Sit down (George sits).....Lean back...A
|
|
little bit to the right.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Make sure you get this area here, where he needs the help....</p>
|
|
<p>George: All right, all right ( Goes to the bathroom)</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: He's a happy camper huh?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Happy camper , I don't hear that expression enough.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer; Remember that guy who took my jacket. The one I found at
|
|
my mother's house.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: My mother told me that he got arrested for mail fraud</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: No kidding?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: He's in jail.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What happened to the jacket. Did he take it with him?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: That's what I intend to find out. (George comes out of
|
|
the bathroom and he's got white cream on his head)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You can see it. You gonna walk around like that?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: It stinks. Can you smell that?....You stink.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: How long are you suppose to leave it on for?</p>
|
|
<p>George: All day. ( phone rings , Jerry picks up)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: It's Elaine Marie Benes.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well Hello..</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Hello.. so did you ever find out who that woman was?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yes , I got her number.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Is that Elaine?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>George: HI ELAINE...</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I guess you figure you're in for a pretty wild night?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well , as I said this type of thing is very common in show
|
|
business</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Well listen I'm going to (?) do you want me to stop by?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Did she say Hello?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What? I dunno.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I mean , when I said Hello did she say Hello back?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I don't know , Who keeps track of Hellos.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Isn't polite to say Hello when somebody says hello?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: She's coming up.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Elaine's coming up?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah. What's wrong, why? ( George runs back to the bathroom)</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: How often do you cut your toe nails?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I would say every two and a half to eight weeks.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: 'cos the other night , you know, I was sleeping with Marion
|
|
I rolled over and I cut her ankle</p>
|
|
<p>with my big toe.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: The big toe; The captain.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: What?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry; The captain of the toes. ( phone rings) Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Jerry...Jerry listen I got too much stuff this afternoon,
|
|
I can't come over, forget it.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Okay....too bad.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: So humm....When you gonna call her?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Soon as I get off the phone wih you.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Good luck.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: okay , bye ( to George) What happened , did you take it
|
|
off?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah, that was enough.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's it, you gave up?</p>
|
|
<p>George: No No I'm working on a system...Who was that?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That was Elaine , she changed her mind. She's not coming
|
|
over.</p>
|
|
<p>As Jerry dials the girls number, George races to the bathroom one
|
|
more time.</p>
|
|
<p>Alicia: Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hello is this Alicia? .This is Jerry Seinfeld. </p>
|
|
<p>Alicia: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>jerry: This is Jerry Seinfeld.</p>
|
|
<p>Cuts to commercial. Back to Jerry's after an implied date with
|
|
Alicia</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>Jerry: (to Kramer) ...( words missing)...laugh , everything's nice
|
|
and at the end of the night I go for</p>
|
|
<p>a little contact. I get the PULL BACK. This woman said the filthiest
|
|
things I've ever heard in </p>
|
|
<p>my life. I get the Pull Back.</p>
|
|
<p>Door buzzer</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah..</p>
|
|
<p>George: It's George.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Come on up . (looks at his watch) ...What's he doing here
|
|
now?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: So , you blew it?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: She must be psychotic or something.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Let me have her number.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm not giving you her number.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I know how to handle these psychotics.</p>
|
|
<p>George comes in wearing a huge cowboy hat.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Sheriff?........What's with the hat?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (George takes off the hat , he's got that cream on again)
|
|
Pheeewwww! Boy! You stink.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What are doing here now?</p>
|
|
<p>George: I have to talk to you about something .</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: All right lets take a look to see what we got ( examines
|
|
George's head) Wait a second..</p>
|
|
<p>I think I see something here George. Lets go to the videotape.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Aahh..No..No..</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What's up?</p>
|
|
<p>George: I can't tell ya now , he's gonna be back in a ten seconds.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: So just start it.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I can't.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh! Come om . He'll be over there for a half hour, he gets
|
|
lost over there.</p>
|
|
<p>C'mon so what is this about?</p>
|
|
<p>George: All right.........I've become attracted to Elaine..</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer burst in with is video setup.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer; All right....Sit down George.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Kramer, can we do this later..</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: No, I got the tape right here.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Kramer, let's do this later.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: (ignoring them) Now.. This is the tape that we made earlier
|
|
and I think ,that I see. a couple of buds</p>
|
|
<p>right here.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Really? ..You think.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Kramer. I would like to talk to George for a minute, please.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: 'bout what?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: It's kinda private.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Like the big toe captain..</p>
|
|
<p>George: So now you're doing my bits?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'M NOT DOING YOUR BITS!!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Okay , all right. I'm gonna take a look at this huh!.(
|
|
leaves)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Does she know?</p>
|
|
<p>George: NO!!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: How did it happen?</p>
|
|
<p>George: I can't say.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well, why can't you say it?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Because I promised her.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I thought you just said she doesn't know??</p>
|
|
<p>George: She doesn't.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: So how can you promise her?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Because she asked me to.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What is this, an Abbott and Costello routine?</p>
|
|
<p>George: All right You really want to know?...It all started when
|
|
she told met hat...she was the voice</p>
|
|
<p>on your tape recorder.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What, Elaine?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah! She made me promise not to tell you .It's supposed
|
|
to be a joke.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: (picks up the headphones) That was Elaine...</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well let me hear....( they struggle for the headphones)
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Wait a second. .Just give me a second</p>
|
|
<p>George: You heard it fifty times already.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: She's my ex-girlfriend I think I have precedence</p>
|
|
<p>Door Buzzer</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeaaaah!!!</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Hi, It's Elaine is this a bad time? </p>
|
|
<p>George grabs his hat and rushes to the bathroom again.</p>
|
|
<p>George: ( Yelling from the bathroom) Don't tell her anything ,
|
|
she'll kill me!!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Okay, Okay ,I promise. ( puts on the headphones again) Wow!!!
|
|
Oh Man...Oh God..</p>
|
|
<p>Oh Brother....Whoooaaaa!! Whoaaaa ( Elaine enters he takes them
|
|
off rapidly)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: ( Concerned) What's the matter?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oooh! I got a pain in my side.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: ( to George returning) Hi George. Something stinks in here.(
|
|
George motions to Jerry, she nods)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What are you doing here?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I was the one who talked into your tape recorder.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry; I know, George told me.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine; You told him!!!!</p>
|
|
<p>George: He..He threatened me.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Where did you come up with all that stuff?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: That was nothing.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Elaine.. I have to tell you something...</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: George NO!!</p>
|
|
<p>George: No no no no no no no..</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: George I'm telling ya..</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: What is it?</p>
|
|
<p>George: I'm very attracted to you..</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Aye......</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer comes in and yells</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I'VE FOUND A HAIR!!! Yes ( goes up to the video machine
|
|
and inserts the tape)</p>
|
|
<p>Hey, come here, come here ,take a look at this.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Ever since I found out that you let that message on Jerry's
|
|
tape recorder I...</p>
|
|
<p>Credits start to roll</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Whoa!!!....That was you?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: It was a joke...</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Wait..( picks up the walkman) Oh my god...Oh yeah....Elaine
|
|
, I can't believe that that is</p>
|
|
<p>you.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Aah.... ( she stares at the three of them all lined up
|
|
like the Daltons ,all looking at her</p>
|
|
<p>with lust.) I think I'll get going...</p>
|
|
<p>George: Heuh. huh. Stick around a while.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: It's early.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: We'll order Chinese.</p>
|
|
<p>She leaves and they all scramble for the tape recorder.</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>End</p>
|
|
|
|
<p>
|
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var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
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ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
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var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
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})();
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</script></body>
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