757 lines
38 KiB
HTML
757 lines
38 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Chinese Restaurant</h1>
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[Transcribed by Dave(ratboy)]</p>
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<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
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<p>Written by: Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld</p>
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<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
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<p>Episode no. 16</p>
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<p>pc: 206, season 2, episode 6</p>
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<p>Broadcast date: 23 May 1991</p>
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<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
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<p>The Cast</p>
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<p>Regulars:</p>
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<p>Jerry Seinfeld................... Jerry Seinfeld</p>
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<p>Jason Alexander.................. George Costanza</p>
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<p>Julia Louis-Dreyfus.............. Elaine Benes</p>
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<p>Michael Richards................. Cosmo Kramer</p>
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<p>Guest Stars:</p>
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<p>James Hong....................... Bruce</p>
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<p>David Tress...................... Mr. Cohen</p>
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<p>Judy Kain........................ Lorraine</p>
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<p>Kate Benton...................... Woman on Phone</p>
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<p>Michael Mitz..................... Man on Phone</p>
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<p>Kendall McCarthy................. Man</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p>
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<p>(opening monologue; first sentence kinda blurry)</p>
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<p>Jerry: (A couple of days ago I used a public phone), go over time
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on the call,</p>
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<p>hang up the phone, walk away. You've had this happen? Phone rings.
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It's the</p>
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<p>phone company... they want more money. Don't you love this? And
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you got them</p>
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<p>right where you want them for the first time in your life. You're
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on the</p>
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<p>street, there's nothing they can do. I like to let it ring a few
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times, you</p>
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<p>know, let her sweat a little over there, then I just pick it up,
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"Yeah,</p>
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<p>operator... oh, I got the money... I got the money right here...
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D'you hear</p>
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<p>that? (taps on microphone) That's a quarter. Yeah, you want that
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don't you?"</p>
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<p>(Jerry, Elaine & George enter the Chinese restaurant)</p>
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<p>Elaine: No, they've just got to get more cops on the force, it's
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as simple as</p>
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<p>that.</p>
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<p>George: Cops. I don't even care about cops. I wanna see more garbage
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men. It's</p>
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<p>much more important. All I wanna see are garbage trucks, garbage
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cans and</p>
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<p>garbage men. You're never gonna stop crime, we should at least
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be clean.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I tell you what they should do, they should combine the
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two jobs, make</p>
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<p>it one job, 'cop\garbage man'. I always see cops walking around
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with nothing to</p>
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<p>do. Grab a broom! Start sweeping. You sweep sweep sweep... catch
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a criminal, get</p>
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<p>right back to sweeping.</p>
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<p>Elaine: You should run for mayor.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ehh, nobody listens.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Where is someone? I'm starving.</p>
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<p>George: I think this is him right here.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Is there a table ready?</p>
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<p>Restaurant Manager (Bruce): How many?</p>
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<p>Elaine (to Jerry): How many?</p>
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<p>Jerry (to George): Is Tatiana coming?</p>
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<p>George: I don't know, I have to call her, tell her where we are.
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I'm very</p>
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<p>lucky she's even considering seeing me at all.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Really? I thought things were going OK.</p>
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<p>George: They were, it's kinda complicated.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well what is it?</p>
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<p>Elaine: How many?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Ah, alright, four. Seinfeld.</p>
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<p>Bruce: Four. It'll be five, ten minutes.</p>
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<p>George: What do you wanna do?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Let's go someplace else, I am too hungry.</p>
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<p>Jerry: We might as well just stay here, we haven't got that much
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time if we</p>
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<p>wanna make it to the movie.</p>
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<p>George: I gotta call Tatiana. where's the phone?</p>
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<p>Jerry (to Elaine): Tatiana...</p>
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<p>(George goes over to the public phone. There's a guy using it)</p>
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<p>George: Excuse me, are you gonna be very long?</p>
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<p>(guy on phone just turns the other way without answering)</p>
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<p>Bruce: Lashbrook(sp?), 4!</p>
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<p>Jerry: So did I do a terrible thing?</p>
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<p>Elaine: You mean lying to your uncle?</p>
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<p>Jerry: I couldn't have dinner with him. 'Plan 9 from Outer Space',
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one night</p>
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<p>only, the big screen. My hands are tied!</p>
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<p>George (to Jerry): You know it's a public phone, you're not supposed
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to just</p>
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<p>chit-chat.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Jerry, get menus so when we sit down we can order right
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away.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Can't look at a menu now, I gotta be at the table.</p>
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<p>George: He knows I'm waiting. He sees me. He just doesn't wanna
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look.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Everything's gotta be just so with you, doesn't it?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Hey, I offered you those cookies in my house.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Health cookies. I hate those little dustboard fructose
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things.</p>
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<p>George: I just can't believe at the way people are. What is it
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with humanity? </p>
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<p>What kind of a world do we live in?</p>
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<p>(Jerry stares at someone)</p>
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<p>Elaine: What?</p>
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<p>Jerry: There's a woman over there that looks really familiar. Dark
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hair,</p>
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<p>striped shirt?</p>
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<p>Elaine: I've never seen her before.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I know this woman. This is gonna drive me crazy.</p>
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<p>(a group of people comes in, one of them bumps into Elaine)</p>
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<p>Man: Oh, Excuse me.</p>
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<p>Elaine: I'm sorry.</p>
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<p>(the group just walks right into the dining room)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Didja see that? Those people, look, they're getting a table.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Well maybe they were here from before.</p>
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<p>Elaine: No no no, they weren't here before.</p>
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<p>George (to guy): Excuse me, are you going to be much longer? I
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have to make a</p>
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<p>very important call.</p>
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<p>(guy on phone turns away again)</p>
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<p>Elaine: Find out what's going on!</p>
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<p>Jerry: Excuse me, didn't those people just come in? I believe we
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were ahead of</p>
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<p>them.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Yeah.</p>
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<p>Bruce: What's your name?</p>
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<p>Jerry: Seinfeld.</p>
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<p>(Bruce starts talking to a Chinese woman in Chinese)</p>
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<p>Bruce: No, no, they were here before. Keckitch(sp?), 2!</p>
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<p>Elaine: Did you ever notice how happy people are when they finally
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get a table? </p>
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<p>They think they're so special because they've been chosen. It's
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enough to make</p>
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<p>you sick.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Boy, you are really hungry.</p>
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<p>George (whistles to guy on phone): Hey!</p>
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<p>(guy on phone smiles at him and turns back. George, annoyed, goes
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over to Jerry)</p>
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<p>George: If anything happens here, can I count on you?</p>
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<p>Jerry: What?</p>
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<p>George: If we decide to go at it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Yeah, I wanna get into a rumble...</p>
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<p>George: I have to get in touch with Tatiana! And look at his little
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outfit. </p>
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<p>It's all so coordinated, the way his socks matching to his shirt.
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I really hate</p>
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<p>this guy.</p>
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<p>Elaine: I'm gonna faint...</p>
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<p>Jerry: George, who is that woman in the stripes?</p>
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<p>George: I don't know her.</p>
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<p>Jerry: She looks so familiar.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Ya know, its not fair people are seated First Come First
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Served, It</p>
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<p>should be based on who's hungriest. I feel like just going over
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there and</p>
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<p>taking some food off somebody's plate.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I'll tell you what, there's 50 bucks in it for you if you
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do it.</p>
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<p>Elaine: What do you mean?</p>
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<p>Jerry: You walk over that table, you pick up an eggroll, you don't
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say</p>
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<p>anything, you eat it, say 'thank you very much', wipe your mouth,
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walk away- I</p>
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<p>give you 50 bucks.</p>
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<p>George: What are they gonna do?</p>
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<p>Jerry: They won't do anything; in fact, you'll be giving them a
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story to tell</p>
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<p>for the rest of their lives.</p>
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<p>Elaine: 50 bucks, you'll give me 50 bucks?</p>
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<p>Jerry: 50 bucks. That table over there, the three couples.</p>
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<p>Elaine: OK, I don't wanna go over there and do it, and then come
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back here and</p>
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<p>find out there was some little loophole, like I didn't put mustard
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on it or</p>
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<p>something...</p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>Jerry: No, no tricks.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Should I do it, George?</p>
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<p>George: For 50 bucks? I'd put my face in the soup and blow.</p>
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<p>Elaine: Alright, alright. Here, hold this. I'm doin' it.</p>
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<p>(Elaine goes over to the table, smiling)</p>
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<p>Elaine (through her teeth): I know this sounds crazy, but the two
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men who are</p>
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<p>standing behind me are going to give me 50 bucks if I stand here
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and eat one of</p>
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<p>your eggrolls.</p>
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<p>(the people at the table are confused)</p>
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<p>Elaine (through teeth): I'll give you 25 if you let me do it.</p>
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<p>People at table: What? What is she talking about? What did she
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say?</p>
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<p>(Elaine runs from the table, laughing)</p>
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<p>Jerry: What happened?</p>
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<p>Elaine: Did you see that?</p>
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<p>George: What were you doing?</p>
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<p>Elaine (laughing): I offered them 25, they had no idea...</p>
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<p>Jerry: George, the phone's free.</p>
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<p>George: Alleluia.</p>
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<p>(as George reaches for the phone, a woman snatches it and starts
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dialing)</p>
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<p>George: Excuse me, I was waiting here.</p>
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<p>Woman at phone: Where? I didn't see you.</p>
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<p>George: I've been standing here for the last ten minutes!</p>
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<p>Woman: Well I won't be long.</p>
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<p>George: That's not the point. The point is I was here first.</p>
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<p>Woman: Well if you were here first, you'd be holding the phone.</p>
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<p>George (yelling at her): You know, we're living in a society! We're
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supposed</p>
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<p>to act in a civilized way.</p>
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<p>(he goes over to Jerry and Elaine)</p>
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<p>George: Does she care? No. Does anyone ever display the slightest
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sensitivity</p>
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<p>over the problems of a fellow individual? No. No. A resounding
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no!</p>
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<p>(guy on phone approaches George)</p>
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<p>Guy: Hey, sorry I took so long.</p>
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<p>George: Oh that's OK, really, don't worry about it.</p>
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<p>Elaine: How do people fast? Did Ghandi get this crazy? I'm gonna
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walk around,</p>
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<p>see what dishes look good.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I told my uncle I had a stomach ache tonight. You think
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he bought that?</p>
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<p>George: Yeah, well, he probably bought it.</p>
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<p>Jerry: So what happened with Tatiana?</p>
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<p>George: I shouldn't even tell you this.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Come on...</p>
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<p>George: Well, after dinner last week, she invites me back to her
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apartment.</p>
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<p>Jerry: I'm with you.</p>
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<p>George: Well, it's this little place with this little bathroom.
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It's like</p>
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<p>right there, you know, it's not even down a little hall or off
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in an alcove. </p>
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<p>You understand? There's no... buffer zone. So, we start to fool
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around, and</p>
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<p>it's the first time, and it's early in the going. And I begin to
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perceive this</p>
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<p>impending... intestinal requirement, whose needs are going to surpass
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by great</p>
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<p>lengths anything in the sexual realm. So I know I'm gonna have
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to stop. And as</p>
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<p>this is happening I'm thinking, even if I can somehow manage to
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momentarily...</p>
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<p>extricate myself from the proceedings and relieve this unstoppable
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force, I know</p>
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<p>that that bathroom is not gonna provide me with the privacy that
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I know I'm</p>
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<p>going to need...</p>
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<p>Jerry: This could only happen to you.</p>
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<p>George: So I finally stop and say, "Tatiana, I hope you don't
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take this the</p>
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<p>wrong way, but I think it would be best if I left".</p>
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<p>Jerry: You said this to her after.</p>
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<p>George: No. During.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Oh, boy.</p>
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<p>George: Yeah.</p>
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<p>Jerry: Wow! So...?</p>
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<p>George: So I'm dressing and she's staring up at me, struggling
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to compute this</p>
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<p>unprecedented turn of events. I don't know what to say to reassure
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this woman,</p>
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<p>and worst of all, I don't have the time to say it. The only excuse
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she might</p>
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<p>possibly have accepted is if I told her I am in reality Batman,
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and I'm very</p>
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<p>sorry, I just saw the Bat-Signal. It took me 3 days of phone calls
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to get her</p>
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<p>to agree to see me again. Now she's waiting for me to call her,
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and she's</p>
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<p>(gestures towards woman on phone) still on the phone.</p>
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<p>(Elaine comes over)</p>
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<p>Elaine: I hate this place. I don't know why we came here, I'm never
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coming back</p>
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<p>here again.</p>
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<p>Jerry (still trying to remember): Who is that woman?!</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Remember when you first went out to eat with your parents?
|
|
Remember,</p>
|
|
<p>it was such a treat to go and they serve you this different food
|
|
that you never</p>
|
|
<p>saw before, and they put it in front of you, and it is such a delicious
|
|
and</p>
|
|
<p>exciting adventure? And now I just feel like a big sweaty hog waiting
|
|
for them</p>
|
|
<p>to fill up the trough.</p>
|
|
<p>George: She's off. (goes over to the now available public phone)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Jerry, talk to that guy again.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What am I gonna say?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Tell him we wanna catch a movie and that we're late.</p>
|
|
<p>(as Jerry approaches Bruce, a man walks in)</p>
|
|
<p>Mr. Cohen: Hey, what stinks in here?</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce (laughing): Mr. Cohen! Haven't seen you for a couple of weeks.</p>
|
|
<p>Mr. Cohen: Well, I've been looking for a better place.</p>
|
|
<p>(Bruce laughs)</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Better place... Want a table?</p>
|
|
<p>Mr. Cohen: No, just bring me a plate and I'll eat here.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce (laughing): Give him a plate and you eat here... Come on,
|
|
I give you a</p>
|
|
<p>table.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Excuse me... we've been waiting here. Now, I KNOW we were
|
|
ahead of that</p>
|
|
<p>guy, he just came in.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Oh no, Mr. Cohen always here.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: He's always here? What does that mean? What does that mean?</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Oh, Mr. Cohen, very nice man. He live on Park Avenue.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Where am I? Is this a dream? What in God's name is going
|
|
on here?!</p>
|
|
<p>George: She's not there. She left. She must've waited and left
|
|
because those</p>
|
|
<p>people wouldn't get off the phone.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Didja leave a message?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah, I told her to call me here and to tell anyone who
|
|
answers the</p>
|
|
<p>phone to ask for a balding, stocky man with glasses. I better tell
|
|
him I'm</p>
|
|
<p>expecting a call.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, Jerry, here comes that woman...</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Where do I know her?</p>
|
|
<p>(woman in stripes approaches Jerry)</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine: Hello, Jerry!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Heeeeyyyy... How you doin'?</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine: How is everything?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Good, good, good... What's goin' on?</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine: Oh, working hard. And you?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh, you know, working around, same stuff, doing... whatever.</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine: You haven't been around in a while.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I know, I know... Well, you know.</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine: You should come by.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Definitely. I plan to, I'm not just saying that.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Hi, I'm Elaine.</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine (shaking her hand): Lorraine. Catalano.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm sorry, Lorraine, this is Elaine...</p>
|
|
<p>(They all laugh, then silent)</p>
|
|
<p>Lorraine: Well it was nice seeing you, Jerry. And nice meeting
|
|
you. (she</p>
|
|
<p>leaves)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine (smug): Oh, nice to meet you too, Lorraine!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh my god, Lorraine... that's Lorraine from my uncle's office.
|
|
I'm in</p>
|
|
<p>big, big trouble.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: The one you broke the plans with tonight?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah, she works in his office. Now she's gonna see him tomorrow
|
|
and</p>
|
|
<p>tell him she saw me here tonight. He's gonna tell his wife, his
|
|
wife's gonna</p>
|
|
<p>call my mother. Oh, this is bad, you don't know, the chain reaction
|
|
of calls</p>
|
|
<p>this is gonna set off. New York, Long Island, Florida, it's like
|
|
the Bermuda</p>
|
|
<p>Triangle. Unfortunately, nobody ever disappears. My uncle to my
|
|
aunt, my aunt</p>
|
|
<p>to my mother, my mother to my uncle...</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: ...My uncle to my cousin, my cousin to my sister, my sister
|
|
to me.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You should've just had dinner with your uncle tonight and
|
|
gotten in</p>
|
|
<p>over with. It's just a movie.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Just a movie?! You don't understand. This isn't 'Plans 1
|
|
through 8</p>
|
|
<p>from Outer Space', this is 'Plan 9', this is the one that worked.
|
|
The worst</p>
|
|
<p>movie ever made!</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine nods)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hey, I got news for you, if we're making this movie, we
|
|
gotta get a</p>
|
|
<p>table immediately.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Alright, OK. Let's stop fooling around. Let's just slip
|
|
him some</p>
|
|
<p>money.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: In a Chinese restaurant? Do they take money?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Do they take money? Everyone takes money. I used to go
|
|
out with a guy</p>
|
|
<p>who did it all the time, you just slip him 20 bucks.</p>
|
|
<p>George: 20 bucks? Isn't that excessive?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Well what do you want to give him, change?</p>
|
|
<p>George: It's more than the meal!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Oh, come on, We'll divide it up three ways.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Alright. 7,7, (points at himself) 6. I'm not gonna eat
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
that much!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm counting your shrimps. OK, Who's gonna do it?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh no, I can't do it. I-I'm not good at these things, I
|
|
get flustered.</p>
|
|
<p>Once I tried to bribe an usher at the roller derby, I almost got
|
|
arrested.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I guess it's you, Jer.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Me? What about you?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, I can't do that, it's a guy thing.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: The woman's movement just can't seem to make any progress
|
|
in the world</p>
|
|
<p>of bribery, can they?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Give me the money.</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine stands close to Bruce, trying to get his attention)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: How's it going'?</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Very busy.</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine holds the money in front of Bruce)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Boy, we are REALLY anxious to sit down.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Very good specials tonight.</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine puts the bill on the open reservations book)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: If there's anything you can do to get us a table we'd really
|
|
appreciate</p>
|
|
<p>it.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: What is your name? (he turns the page over the money)</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: No no, I want to eat now! (she gets the money from under
|
|
the page)</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Yes, we have sea-bass dinner tonight, very fresh.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine (Gives him the money): Here, take this. I'm starving. Take
|
|
it! Take</p>
|
|
<p>it!</p>
|
|
<p>(Bruce shrugs and takes it)</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Dennison, 4! (goes over to 4 ladies) Your table is ready.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: No no, no, I want that table. I want that table! Oh, come
|
|
on, did you</p>
|
|
<p>see that? What was that? He took the money, he didn't give us a
|
|
table.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You lost the 20.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Well, how could he do that?</p>
|
|
<p>George: You didn't make it clear.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Make it clear?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What a sorry exhibition that was. Alright, let me get the
|
|
money back.</p>
|
|
<p>(goes over to Bruce) Excuse me. I realize, this is extremely embarrassing,
|
|
my</p>
|
|
<p>friend here apparently made a mistake.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Your name?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Seinfeld.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Yeah, Seinfeld 4!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: No no no, you see the girl there, with the long hair?</p>
|
|
<p>(Elaine waves at him, smiling)</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Oh yes, yes. Very beautiful girl, very beautiful. Is your
|
|
girlfriend?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well, actually, we did date for a while, but... it's really
|
|
not relevant</p>
|
|
<p>here.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Relationships are difficult. It's very hard to stay together-</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Alright, listen, alright. How much longer is it gonna be?</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Oh. In about five, ten minutes.</p>
|
|
<p>(Jerry goes over to Elaine and George)</p>
|
|
<p>George: So?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: There seems to be a bit of a discrepancy.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: So when are we gonna eat?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Five, ten minutes.</p>
|
|
<p>George: We should have left earlier. I told you.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I don't see any way we can eat and make this movie.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, well I have to eat.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well let's just order to go, we'll eat it in the cab.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Eat it in the cab? Chinese food in a cab?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: We'll eat it in the movie.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, who do you think you're going? Do you think that they
|
|
have big</p>
|
|
<p>picnic tables there?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well what do you suggest?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I say we leave now, we go to 'Skyburger' and we scarf 'em
|
|
down.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I'm not going to 'Skyburger'. Besides, it's in the opposite
|
|
direction,</p>
|
|
<p>let's just eat popcorn or something.</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce (holding a phone): Cartwright?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I can't have popcorn for dinner!</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Cartwright?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine (tries to snatch food off a waiter's tray): I have to eat!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: So they have hotdogs there.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, movie hotdogs! I rather lick the food off the floor.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I can't go anywhere, I have to wait here for Tatiana's
|
|
call. Let me</p>
|
|
<p>just check.</p>
|
|
<p>(goes over to Bruce)</p>
|
|
<p>George: Excuse me, I'm expecting a call. Costanza?</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Yeah, I just got a call. I yell 'Cartwright! Cartwright!',
|
|
just like</p>
|
|
<p>that. Nobody came up, I hang up.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well, was it for Costanza or...</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Yes, yes, that's it. Nobody answered.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Well was it a woman?</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Yeah, yeah. I tell her you not here, she said curse word,
|
|
I hang up.</p>
|
|
<p>(George comes over to Jerry and Elaine, stunned)</p>
|
|
<p>George: She called. He yelled Cartwright. I missed her.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Who's Cartwright?</p>
|
|
<p>George: I'm Cartwright!</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You're not Cartwri-</p>
|
|
<p>George: Of course I'm not Cartwright! Look, why don't you two just
|
|
go to the</p>
|
|
<p>movies all by yourselves, I'm not in the mood.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Well me neither, I'm goin' to 'Skyburger'.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: So You're not going?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You don't need us.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well I can't go to a bad movie by myself. Who am I gonna
|
|
make sarcastic</p>
|
|
<p>remarks to, strangers? Eh, I guess I'll just go to my uncle's.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Should we tell him we're leaving?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: What for? Let's just get out of here.</p>
|
|
<p>(they all leave)</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce: Seinfeld, 4?</p>
|
|
<p>(closing monologue)</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hunger will make people do amazing things. I mean, the proof
|
|
of that is</p>
|
|
<p>cannibalism. Cannibalism, what do they say, I mean, they're eating
|
|
and, you</p>
|
|
<p>know, "This is good, who is this? I like this person".
|
|
You know, I mean, I</p>
|
|
<p>would think the hardest thing about being a cannibal is trying
|
|
to get some very</p>
|
|
<p>deep sleep, you know what I mean? I would think, you'd be like,
|
|
(pretending to</p>
|
|
<p>wake up) "Who is that? Who's there? Who's there? Is somebody
|
|
there? What do</p>
|
|
<p>you want? What do you want? You look hungry, are you hungry? Get
|
|
out of</p>
|
|
<p>here!"</p>
|
|
<p>(credits roll; THE END)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
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|
|
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