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<h1>The Invitations</h1>
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Transcribed by Mohamel, Feb., 2000</p>
<p>Jerry Seinfeld - Jerry Seinfeld </p>
<p>George Costanza - Jason Alexander</p>
<p>Elaine Benes - Julia Louis-Drefus</p>
<p>Kramer - Michael Richards</p>
<p>Janeane Garofalo [ Jeannie Steinman ], </p>
<p>Stephen Root [ Mr. Lager ], </p>
<p>Victor Raider-Wexler [ Doctor ], </p>
<p>John Riggi [ Teller ], </p>
<p>Sue Goodman [ Clerk ], </p>
<p>Julie Clark [ Waitress ], </p>
<p>Fred Goehner [ Delivery Guy ]</p>
<p>written by: Larry David </p>
<p>directed by: Andy Ackerman</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Opening monologue:</p>
<p>Jerry: I think that if the wedding invitations were left up to
the men, we'd just</p>
<p>drive around sticking flyers in windshields ...y' know... Not even
typed up either,</p>
<p>just Magic Marker, Zerox, you know...Party!!..</p>
<p>What's needed is a divorce announcement; Mr and Mrs Fred Johnson
are requesting the honour </p>
<p>of your presence at the &quot;returning&quot; of their daughter
back to Mr,and Mrs Fred Johnson.</p>
<p>Outside Melody Stationeries: </p>
<p>Susan and George walk into the store and go up the sales clerk.</p>
<p>Susan: Hi.</p>
<p>Clerk: Hi.. May I help you?</p>
<p>Susan: Yes, we'd like some wedding invitations.</p>
<p>Clerk: Ohh! Well...Congratulations</p>
<p>Susan: (happily) Thank you.</p>
<p>George: (mildly embarrassed) yeah.. Thank you.</p>
<p>Clerk: When 's the wedding?</p>
<p>Susan: June</p>
<p>George: late June.</p>
<p>Clerk: Oh! Well, we have quite a few to pick from ( turns around
and picks up a huge binder) </p>
<p>They're arranged in order of price , the most expensive are in
the front.</p>
<p>George takes the binder and feigns browsing and flips right to
the last page.</p>
<p>George: He..hmmm. humm...What about this one.</p>
<p>Clerk: Hmmm,..to tell you the truth they haven't manufactured that
one for a number of years.</p>
<p>I might have couple of boxes left in our warehouse in New Jersey.
I'd have to check.</p>
<p>Susan: Oh! no. George that's so ugly we don't want that.</p>
<p>George: What's the difference you just read it and mail it right
back. These we'll do.</p>
<p>Susan: Why don't they make'em anymore?</p>
<p>Clerk: Well.. For one thing the glue isn't very adhesive. It takes
a lot of moisture to make them stick.</p>
<p>George: So we pick up some Elmers</p>
<p>Susan: (disappointed)All right. You see what I do for you.</p>
<p>Scene cuts to the street as Susan and George are about to get into
a cab. Kramer happens to walk by.</p>
<p>George: Hey! Kramer.</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey! George.....Lily..</p>
<p>Susan: No. Susan.</p>
<p>Kramer: No. No It's Lily</p>
<p>Susan: I think I know my own name.</p>
<p>George: It's Susan</p>
<p>Kramer: (lost for words) Well you look like a Lily...</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Scene cuts to Jerry's apt. George walks in . Jerry is coming out
of his bedroom twiddling scissors.</p>
<p>George: It's coming Jerry, it's coming.</p>
<p>Jerry: What's coming?</p>
<p>George: The Day..</p>
<p>Jerry: Ahhh...The Day..</p>
<p>George: We ordered the wedding invitations today,, Nothing can
stop it now. Nothing. It's here! It's </p>
<p>happening. Can I do this? I can't do this...Look at me. Look at
me I can't do this, I can't do this (manic)</p>
<p>Help me Jerry , help me.</p>
<p>Jerry: why don't you just break it off with her. tell her it's
over</p>
<p>George: I can't</p>
<p>Jerry: Why not?</p>
<p>George; 'Cause I can't face that scene. You know what kind of scene
that would be? i'd rather be unhappy</p>
<p>for the rest of my life than go through something like that. (forceful)
I CAN'T, I CAN'T.</p>
<p>I tried to psyche myself up a million times I cannot go through
that.</p>
<p>Jerry: All right take it easy, just take it easy.</p>
<p>George: What about a letter?</p>
<p>Jerry: A letter.</p>
<p>George: I...I...write a letter and then I..I go to China. I disappear
in a sea of people for like</p>
<p>six months, a year you know just while things simmer down. Ehm..
Ehm...Dear Susan. I'm sorry.</p>
<p>I made a terrible mistake. I'm really , really sorry.</p>
<p>Jerry: That's it?</p>
<p>George: What? Too short?</p>
<p>Both: Seems a little short, yeah..</p>
<p>Jerry: You can't go to China What about your job?</p>
<p>George: My Job..arghhh</p>
<p>Jerry: So write a letter.. move to another...move to Staten Island.,
'lot easier to blend in a sea of people in</p>
<p>Staten Island than China believe me.</p>
<p>George: Yeah! Yeah!..Staten Island . What about my clothes ,how
do I get the rest of the clothes?</p>
<p>Jerry: Aagh! You come back for your clothes </p>
<p>George: I'm not going back in there.</p>
<p>Jerry: So forget about your clothes.</p>
<p>George: Well I'm not starting up a whole new wardrobe now!!!</p>
<p>Jerry; Look, freedom with no clothes is a lot better than no freedom
with clothes.</p>
<p>George: If she'd just take a plane somewhere.</p>
<p>Jerry: And what, hope for a crash?</p>
<p>George: It happens.</p>
<p>Jerry: You know what the odds are on a crash it's a million to
one.</p>
<p>George: It's something . It's hope.</p>
<p>Elaine comes through the door</p>
<p>Elaine: Hey!...( sees George) HEY!! Georgie. You know what I just
realized; the wedding is like a month</p>
<p>away.ha..haa..</p>
<p>Jerry: Euhh...Elaine....</p>
<p>Elaine: What?...Oh! by the way. What am I going to be in the wedding
party?</p>
<p>George: What do you mean?</p>
<p>Elaine: Well Jerry's gonna be the best man and Kramer's gonna be
the usher so what am I gonna be?</p>
<p>George: I don't know. I don't think you're anything.</p>
<p>Elaine: Wel...I have to be something. I 'm a close friend....What
about being a bridesmaid.</p>
<p>George: Those are Susan's friends.</p>
<p>Elaine: Well then...aaahh how about being an usher?</p>
<p>George: Well...I'll ask Susan about it later.</p>
<p>Elaine: You don't ask.. You tell.</p>
<p>George: ( to Jerry) What about the letter, should I think about
the letter?</p>
<p>Jerry: Hey Elaine if a guy wanted to end a relationship with you
. What could he do?</p>
<p>Elaine: Start smoking.</p>
<p>George: Smoking.</p>
<p>Jerry: Does she hate cigarettes?</p>
<p>George: Yes, she hates cigarettes.</p>
<p>Jerry: But you don't smoke.</p>
<p>George: Nooooooo......</p>
<p>Scene cuts to Jerry and Elaine walking</p>
<p>Jerry: You know, I think I'm getting a little depressed about George's
wedding.</p>
<p>Elaine: Really?</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah. Well once he gets married that's it, she'll probably
get pregnant, they'll move to Westchester.</p>
<p>I'll never see him again.</p>
<p>Elaine: Yeah! You're probably right.</p>
<p>Jerry: Then it'll just be me, you and Kramer.</p>
<p>Elaine: No! Not me pal. I can't keep this up much longer. I'm sick
of being single.</p>
<p>I'm getting out.</p>
<p>Jerry: So it's just gonna be me and Kramer.</p>
<p>Elaine: Yep! just you and Kramer.</p>
<p>Elaine walks away</p>
<p>Jerry: See you ... me and Kramer...</p>
<p>Daydreaming sequence set in Jerry's apt. in a probable future.
Kramer pops in. They look a</p>
<p>little older.</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey!! Buddy. I thought of a great invention for driving.
A periscope in a car, so you can see</p>
<p>the traffic.</p>
<p>Jerry: (annoyed) How you gonna drive when looking through a periscope?
Besides it's not a submarine</p>
<p>and there's no room for a periscope in a car.</p>
<p>Kramer: Huh! You make a higher roof.</p>
<p>Jerry: They're not making higher roofs.</p>
<p>Kramer: why can't you make a higher roof.</p>
<p>Jerry: Because it's a stupid idea. No one's gonna go for it. Don't
you understand It's stupid ,stupid...</p>
<p>As Jerry slowly comes out of his doze he is about to cross the
street as a car comes to him at high speed.</p>
<p>Jerry: .....Stupid , stupid.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Hey! Hey! Look out. (she pulls him back saving his life.)
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
OK!, Are you okay?</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah!.. Thanks.Oh! my god you saved my life.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Shouldn't there be some kind of reward for that.</p>
<p>Jerry: oh! thank you.</p>
<p>Jeannie: You know you should be a lot more careful crossing the
street like that, otherwise you could die..</p>
<p>If that bothers you.</p>
<p>Jerry: Well I...</p>
<p>Jeannie: You see..(points to his collar) To me this is a waste.</p>
<p>Jerry: What?</p>
<p>Jeannie: The shirt you got on under your sweather.It sits for three
weeks in your drawer, waiting to come</p>
<p>out. and when it finally does . It sticks up only half an inch
out of your collar.</p>
<p>Jerry: I'm Jerry Seinfeld.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Jeannie Steinman.</p>
<p>Jerry: Hey! Same initials . How do you like that?</p>
<p>Jeannie: I like it.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>George and Susan at their apt.</p>
<p>George: Listen I was talking to Elaine today and she said she'd
would really like to be an usher at the</p>
<p>wedding</p>
<p>Susan: No. Out of the question. I don't want any women ushers at
my wedding and while we're on the</p>
<p>subject, Kramer is not an usher either.</p>
<p>George; Why not?</p>
<p>Susan: He doesn't even know my name.</p>
<p>George: That was an honest mistake.</p>
<p>Susan: Nah! He's too weird he'd fall or something. He'd ruin the
whole ceremony.</p>
<p>George takes out a pack of cigarettes and pulls one out.</p>
<p>George: Yeah! You're right.. You're probably right.</p>
<p>Susan: Whadda doing?</p>
<p>George: (shrugs and lights it up)</p>
<p>Susan: Since when do you smoke?</p>
<p>george: (coughs) I've always smoked.</p>
<p>Susan: I've never seen you smoke.</p>
<p>George: Oh yeeah.. well , Big smoker... I (coughs some more) gave
it up for a while but it was too tough.</p>
<p>Y' know.....I got no will power.</p>
<p>Susan: I don't like this one bit.</p>
<p>George: Well(coughs) I can't stop now...(coughs) I'm addicted...(words
missing)</p>
<p>Susan: Well you are gonna have to quit.</p>
<p>George sprints to the bathroom</p>
<p>George: Oh my god....</p>
<p>At Monks.</p>
<p>Waitress: Menus?</p>
<p>Jerry: No. I know what I want.</p>
<p>Waitress: The usual?</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah.,</p>
<p>Waitress: And for you?</p>
<p>Jeannie: I'll have a bowl of Cheerios , not to much milk.</p>
<p>Waitress: Ok Two bowls of Cheerios.</p>
<p>Jeannie: You too.?... </p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah!!!</p>
<p>At Jerry's. Kramer comes in Jerry is on the couch.</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey! Did you hear the bank on the corner is offering a
100 dollars if you go in there and they</p>
<p>don't greet you with a hello?</p>
<p>Jerry: Uh! Really .That's nice.</p>
<p>Kramer: Now what's with you?</p>
<p>Jerry: I think I'm in love.</p>
<p>Kramer: Oh. Come on.</p>
<p>Jerry: No it's true. This woman saved my life. I was crossing the
street .I was almost hit by a car...and then</p>
<p>we talked and.......the whole thing just seemed like a dream.</p>
<p>Kramer: If a guy saved your life you'd be in love with him too.</p>
<p>Jerry: No, no this woman is different , she's incredible. she's
just like me. She talks like me, she acts like me.</p>
<p>She even ordered cereal at a restaurant. We even have the same
initials. Wait a minute, I just realised</p>
<p>what's going on.</p>
<p>Kramer: What?</p>
<p>Jerry: Now I know what I've been looking for all these years......myself!
(Kramer is speechless)</p>
<p>I've been waiting for me to come along and now I 've swept myself
off my feet.</p>
<p>Kramer: You stop it man.. you're FREAKING ME OUT!!!</p>
<p>At the HOME FEDERAL SAVINGS BANK Kramer walks up to a teller.</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey!</p>
<p>Teller: Hey!</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey! wait a second. You didn't say hello.</p>
<p>Teller: Yes I did</p>
<p>Kramer: No no you didn't ...Hundred dollars.. I get a hundred dollars.</p>
<p>Teller: No, No I said Hello.</p>
<p>Kramer: No, No You said Hey!</p>
<p>Teller: Well.. Hey! is Hello, same thing.</p>
<p>Kramer; The add said that the bank's gonna pay a hundred dollars
if you are not greeted with a hello</p>
<p>Teller: You're taking that much to literally. Now sir , do you
have any business to transact.</p>
<p>Kramer: No, I want to speak to the manager.</p>
<p>Teller: Well, He's not here right now.</p>
<p>Kramer: Then I'll be back.</p>
<p>In Jerry's hallway</p>
<p>Elaine: So I'm not gonna be an usher?</p>
<p>George: No..</p>
<p>Elaine: So I'm nothing. Jerry is best man , Kramer is an usher
and I am nothing.</p>
<p>George: Well Kramer's not an usher anymore.</p>
<p>Kramer; What are you talking about?</p>
<p>George: You've been demoted.</p>
<p>Kramer; Why?</p>
<p>George: Because you called her by the wrong name.</p>
<p>Kramer: But she really looks like a Lily</p>
<p>Elaine: Jerry ( as they come into the apt.) Jerry, Susan says I
can't be an usher at he wedding.</p>
<p>Kramer: Yeah. me neither.</p>
<p>Jerry: (shrugs) Hey George I think I want to bring a date to the
wedding</p>
<p>George: Who!!?</p>
<p>Jerry: I just met her, she's incredible.</p>
<p>Elaine: Aaawh...This is GREAT!!.....Now I'm gonna be stuck at the
singles table with all the losers.</p>
<p>Jerry: You can go with Kramer</p>
<p>Kramer: No , no no no no. Weddings are a great place to meet chicks.
I have to be unfettered.</p>
<p>George: Do you see what this is turning in to? Do I need this.
I have to get out of this thing.</p>
<p>Elaine: Did you try the cigarettes?</p>
<p>George: Yeah.. They made me sick.</p>
<p>Kramer: All right, All right. Lets get down here. You really want
to get out of this thing ?</p>
<p>George: Yeah...</p>
<p>Kramer: All right. I got two words for you; Pre-Nup.</p>
<p>George: What does that mean?</p>
<p>Kramer: Ask her to sign a pre-nup.</p>
<p>George: What does that do?</p>
<p>Kramer: Because most women when they're asked to sign a pre-nup
are so offended they back out of the marriage.</p>
<p>George: They are?... Elaine?</p>
<p>Elaine: I wouldn't sign one.</p>
<p>George: Pre-nup of course ..Kramer....</p>
<p>Kramer: Get out of here.</p>
<p>George and Susan at their apt.</p>
<p>George: Hi.</p>
<p>Susan: Hi. Hey I've been going over the list .What about The Drake?
Wanna invite him?</p>
<p>George: Yeah. Got to invite The Drake. Listen hem...there's something
that's been on my mind and</p>
<p>we haven't really talked about it..I t's kind of important to me.</p>
<p>Susan: What is it?</p>
<p>George: Well I I ..put a lot of thought into this and I think I
would like you to sign a prenuptual agreement.</p>
<p>Susan: A pre-nup?</p>
<p>George: Yeah.</p>
<p>Susan: (burst out laughing)</p>
<p>George: What's so funny?</p>
<p>Susan: Ha.Ha.Ha. ha...You don't have any money. I make more money
than you do. ha. ha. ha.</p>
<p>Yeah.. give me the papers I'll sign 'em.( she leaves) a pre-nup...</p>
<p>Cheesy scenes of Jerry and Jeannie enjoying each other in the park
, at the grocery store, comparing</p>
<p>comic books and making out. Interrupted by Kramer as he slams into
Jerry's locked door.</p>
<p>Jerry: Excuse me.( gets up and opens the door)</p>
<p>Kramer: Jerry.... hey Jeannie.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Hello.</p>
<p>Kramer: Remember I told you about the bank?</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah.</p>
<p>Kramer: Yeah well I went in there and they said Hey!</p>
<p>Jerry: Hey is the same thing as hello. What do you think Jeannie.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Yeah I think it's the same thing.</p>
<p>Kramer: Oh! Big surprise ( he leaves frustrated)</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Scene takes us to George's again. We hear a buzzer.</p>
<p>Delivery man: Delivery from Melody Stationaries.</p>
<p>Susan: Oh those are the invitations.</p>
<p>Delivery man: Just sign there.</p>
<p>Susan: yeah! Thank you.</p>
<p>George: See ya later.</p>
<p>Susan: Urgh.. these are so cheap. (as George leaves) And don't
forget tommorrow we're</p>
<p>going shopping for some rings, so don't make any plans...and this
time we're not skimping.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>To Jerry's again</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey</p>
<p>Jerry: Hey.</p>
<p>Kramer: Jeannie left?</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah , she's coming to see my act tonight.</p>
<p>Kramer: Oh yeah! Well that's nice. I'm sure that's right up her
alley.</p>
<p>Jerry: What's with you?</p>
<p>Kramer: Nothin'</p>
<p>Jerry: Something on your mind?</p>
<p>Kramer: No.</p>
<p>Jerry: Looks like there is?</p>
<p>Kramer: No</p>
<p>Jerry: Come on. Something's on your mind. Out with it.</p>
<p>Kramer: I don't like her.</p>
<p>Jerry: You don't like her?</p>
<p>Kramer: That's right I don't like , I never like her from the get-go.</p>
<p>Jerry: What's wrong with her?</p>
<p>Kramer: Everything she thinks. you think. Everything you think
she thinks. No I can't take it.</p>
<p>I can't take it Jerry. It's too much. It's too much.</p>
<p>Jerry: Well you can't take her maybe you can't take me either.</p>
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
<p>Kramer: So THAT's how it's going to be</p>
<p>Jerry: That's how it's gonna be.</p>
<p>Kramer: OH! GOD HELP US!!!</p>
<p>Susan licking envelopes</p>
<p>Susan: Eurk.. Awful</p>
<p>Jerry at the pier watching lovers and families considering his
future and we get another look</p>
<p>at Susan licking her envelopes, getting nauseous.</p>
<p>Back to the Federal Home Savings Bank</p>
<p>Manager: May i help you?</p>
<p>Kramer: Yeah. uh..I was in here the other day and I went up to
that teller and he didn't say hello.</p>
<p>Manager: Then you are entitled to a hundred dollars. That's our
policy.</p>
<p>Kramer: yeah., but he wouldn't give me the money.</p>
<p>Manager: Hehummm.. JIM...Can I see you for a second</p>
<p>Jim: Uh.. yes can you give me a minute.</p>
<p>Manager; Yea....hum......He'll be. hum.. right over.(awkward pause)</p>
<p>Kramer: (knocks on desk) Is thi oak?</p>
<p>Manager: 'think it's pine.</p>
<p>Kramer: Pine is good.</p>
<p>Manager: Yeah. pine's okay.</p>
<p>Jim the teller walks over</p>
<p>Jim: You want to see me</p>
<p>Manager: Yeah... Hum..Jim , a man here says came in the other day
, you didn't say hello?</p>
<p>Jim: No ,No that's not true, I said Hey! you know like a friendly
greeting, Hey!</p>
<p>Kramer: But that's not Hello.</p>
<p>Manager: That's a tough one.</p>
<p>Kramer: Uhummm...</p>
<p>Manager: You know what , let me bring some other people in on this...Barbara
,Jane , Mike Can I see you please.</p>
<p>Barbara: How you doin'?</p>
<p>Jane: What's happening?</p>
<p>Mike: What's up?</p>
<p>Manager: ( to kramer) Can you excuse us for one minute . Just one
minute.</p>
<p>Kramer gets up a little confused and walks away.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Manager: Thanks.( they huddle)</p>
<p>Some guy: How's it going?</p>
<p>Manager: Thanks, thanks everybody.( they leave) Sir , have a seat.</p>
<p>Manager: Well , we've discussed this, here's the feeling. You got
a greeting starts with an H how's twenty bucks sound.</p>
<p>Kramer: I'll take it.</p>
<p>manager: awright sir ( they shake hands)</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Scene cuts to the Improv as Jerry walks into the club and sees
Jeannie sitting at a table</p>
<p>Jerry: Will you marry me?</p>
<p>Susan licks her last envelope and collapses. George is walking
down a street looking depressed.</p>
<p>We go back to the Improv.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Jerry: I would like to propose a toast....Wait a second.. George!,
George Costanza come in here.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Georgie boy..</p>
<p>Jerry: George, big news; I'm getting married!!</p>
<p>George: Married , What!(astounded)</p>
<p>Jerry: September 21st, first day of Autumn. Leaves changing colours..
Beautiful colors.</p>
<p>Jeannie: ... all that crap.</p>
<p>Jerry: You see , I kept up my end of the pact.</p>
<p>George: Good for you (sympathetic)</p>
<p>Jerry: Hey look , Champagne..</p>
<p>George: Hehehe. .(feebly)</p>
<p>Jerry: To our future wives....yeah...</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>George returns home only to find..... Scene then cuts to Monks
with Jerry and Jeannie arriving.</p>
<p>Jerry: Well it's been quite a night I could sure use a cup of coffee.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Hey! what's the deal with decaf; how do they get the caffeine
out of there and then</p>
<p>where does it go?</p>
<p>Jerry: (weakly) I dunno</p>
<p>A guy suddenly gets up to leave then falls on the ground.</p>
<p>Jeannie: That's a shame..</p>
<p>Jerry: (to waitress) I' ll just have a cup of coffee.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Bowl of Corn flakes.</p>
<p>Jerry: More cereals? that's your third bowl today, you had it for
breakfast and lunch.</p>
<p>Jeannie: Hey! So what's the deal with brunch , I mean that if it's
a combination of breakfast and lunch.</p>
<p>How comes there's no lupper or no linner.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Back to Jerry's , Kramer comes in..</p>
<p>Kramer: Hey!! Frank just called me. Congratulations.</p>
<p>Jerry: Thanks , thanks </p>
<p>Kramer: Look I'm sorry about before....I mean I'm sure I'll learn
to like her, Jerry</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah , yeah .</p>
<p>Kramer: C'mon , c'mon what's the matter?</p>
<p>Jerry: I think I may have made a big mistake.</p>
<p>Kramer: Oh! Come on.</p>
<p>Jerry: All of a sudden it hit me, I realized what the problem is;
I can't be with someone like me..</p>
<p>I hate myself!! If anything I need to get the exact opposite of
me....It's too much. .It's too Much</p>
<p>I can't take it ...I can't take it!!!</p>
<p>Kramer: (mocking) Too bad you got engaged.</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah! Too bad.</p>
<p>Phone rings, Jerry picks it up.</p>
<p>Jerry: Hello. Oh! Hi George.......What! ..really! All right I'll
call Elaine , we'll meet you down there.</p>
<p>Kramer: What happened?</p>
<p>Jerry: They just took Susan to the Hospital</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>At the hospital.</p>
<p>Jerry: So she was just lying there.</p>
<p>George: Tsss...Yeah..</p>
<p>Elaine: I wonder what happened?</p>
<p>George: I don't know....hmmm ha! here's the doctor.</p>
<p>Doctor: Excuse me , Are you the husband?</p>
<p>George: Well , not yet.. Fianc.</p>
<p>Doctor: Well , I'm sorry.....She's gone.</p>
<p>George: .........What's that?...</p>
<p>Doctor: She expired.</p>
<p>George: ...Are you sure?</p>
<p>Doctor: Yes , of course.</p>
<p>George: So.....She's dead?</p>
<p>Doctor: Yes</p>
<p>George: ...Huh!</p>
<p>Doctor: Let me ask you ; Had she been exposed to any kind of inexpensive
glue?</p>
<p>George: ...Why?</p>
<p>Doctor: We found traces of a certain toxic adhesive commonly found
in very low priced envelopes.</p>
<p>George: Well she was sending out our wedding invitations. </p>
<p>Doctor: That's probably what did it.</p>
<p>George: We were expecting about two hundred people...Well...Thank
you , thank you.</p>
<p>Doctor leaves , George returns to the others</p>
<p>George: She's ahem....gone</p>
<p>Jerry: Dead?</p>
<p>Elaine: I'm so sorry George</p>
<p>Jerry: Yeah! me too</p>
<p>Kramer: Poor Lily..</p>
<p>Jerry: How did it happen?</p>
<p>George: Apparently the glue in the wedding invitations was a....toxic.</p>
<p>All: Aah!..</p>
<p>Kramer: Well that's weird</p>
<p>Jerry: So I guess , you're not getting married?</p>
<p>George: (embarrassed with a touch of unrestrained jubilation) Yes.</p>
<p>Jerry: But....</p>
<p>George: Yeah?</p>
<p>Jerry: Well , now I'm engaged..</p>
<p>George: Yeah?...</p>
<p>Jerry: Well I thought we'd both be getting married.</p>
<p>George: Hey!.. What can I tell ya.</p>
<p>Elaine: All right. (they start to leave except Jerry)</p>
<p>George: well humm.. lets get some coffee.</p>
<p>Jerry: WE HAD A PACT!!!</p>
<p>Closing credits</p>
<p>George at home on the phone</p>
<p>George: Yes I'd like to speak to Marisa Tomei, please?</p>
<p>Marisa , Hi it's George Costanza.. I'm the short, funny, quirky
bald man</p>
<p>you met a little while ago, heh! yeah I was just calling 'cos I
wanted you to know</p>
<p>that I'm not engaged anymore......well huh, She died....Toxic glue
from the wedding</p>
<p>invitations.....well we were expecting about two hundred people.
Yeah... Anyway.. hum</p>
<p>I got the funeral tomorrow but huh.. my weekend is pretty wide
open and I was wondering...</p>
<p>(dial tone interrupts George)..... Hello...Hello..</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>End
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