738 lines
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738 lines
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<h1>The Library</h1>
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Episode 22 - Oct. 16, 1991</p>
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<p>=========================================</p>
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<p>Philip Baker Hall [ Lt. Bookman ] </p>
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<p>Ashley Gardener [ Marion ]</p>
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<p>Harris Shore [ Mr. Lippman ]</p>
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<p>Cynthia Szigeti [Sherry]</p>
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<p>Biff Yeager [ Heyman ]</p>
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<p>Neal Lerner [ The "Shusher" ]</p>
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<p>Marie Barrientos [ The Receptionist] </p>
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<p>Writer: Larry Charles </p>
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<p>Director: Joshua White </p>
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<p>==============================================================</p>
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<p>Transcribed by: The News Guy(Mike)</p>
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<p>==============================================================</p>
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<p>JERRY'S APARTMENT</p>
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<p>JERRY: Let me speak with the head librarian. ... Because it's absurd.
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An overdue book </p>
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<p>from 1971? ... This is a joke right? What are you? From a radio
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station?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: enters</p>
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<p>JERRY: Ya' got me I fell for it. Alright, OK I can be down there
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in like a half hour. </p>
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<p>Bye.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: What's the problem?</p>
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<p>JERRY: This you're not goin' to believe. The NYPL says that I took
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out Tropic of Cancer </p>
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<p>in 1971 and never returned it.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Do you know how much that comes to? That's a nickel a day
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for 20 years. It's </p>
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<p>going to be $50,000</p>
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<p>JERRY: It doesn't work like that.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: If it's a dime a day it could be $100,000</p>
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<p>JERRY: It's not going to be anything. I returned the book. I remember
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it very vividly </p>
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<p>because I was with Sherry Becker. She waore this orange dress.
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It was the first time I </p>
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<p>ever saw her in a dress like that. In oticed since ninth grade
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she was developing this </p>
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<p>body in secret under these loose clothes for like two years. And
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then one day ...</p>
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<p>FLASHBACK <to a beautiful buxom young Becky in an orange dress></p>
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<p>JERRY: That orange dress is burned in my memory </p>
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<p>KRAMER: Oh, memory burn.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I wonder what ever happened to her.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: How did they ever find you?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, computers, they're cracking down now on overdue books.
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The whole thing is </p>
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<p>completely ridiculous.</p>
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<p><buzzer></p>
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<p>JERRY: It's George. Wait 'til he hears we're going to the library</p>
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<p>KRAMER: You know I never got a library card.</p>
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<p>JERRY: <to speaker> Coming down.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: It's all a bunch of cheapskates in there anyway. People
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sitting around reading </p>
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<p>the newspaper attached to huge wooden sticks Trying to save a quarter,
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ooh, </p>
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<p>JERRY: I gotta go to the library. You want to go?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Yeah, </p>
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<p>LIBRARY</p>
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<p>KRAMER: The Dewey Decimal System, what a scam that was. Boy that
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Dewey guy really cleaned </p>
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<p>up on that deal.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Where's George</p>
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<p>READER: Shhh.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Tryin' to save a quarter.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I kinda like those sticks. I'd like to get them for my house.</p>
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<p>TURNING TO LIBRARY COUNTER</p>
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<p>JERRY: This woman's completely ignoring me.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Look at her. This is a lonely woman looking for companionship..
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... Spinster. ... </p>
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<p>Maybe a virgin. ... Maybe she got hurt a long time ago. She was
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a schoolgirl. There was </p>
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<p>a boy It didn't work out. Now she needs a little tenderness. She
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needs a little understanding. </p>
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<p>She needs a little Kramer. </p>
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<p>JERRY: Eventually a little shot of penicillin</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: Yes?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Yes I called before. I got his notice in the mail.</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: Oh, Tropic of Cancer, Henry Miller, Uh, this case has
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been turned over to our </p>
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<p>library investigation officer Mr. Bookman.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Bookman? The library investigator's name is actually, Bookman?</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: It's true.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: That's amazing. That's like an ice cream man named, Cone.</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: Lt. Bookman has been working here for 25 years so I
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think he's heard all the jokes.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Can I speak with this Bookman?</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: Just a second.</p>
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<p>GEORGE ENTERS, FRANTICALLY, TUGS AT JERRY'S JACKET</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Jerry, </p>
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<p>JERRY: What?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I think I saw him. I think it's him.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Who?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Did you see the homeless guy on the library steps screaming
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obsenities and doing some </p>
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<p>calesthetics routine</p>
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<p>JERRY: Yeah.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: yeah</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I think that's Mr. Hayman. ...The gym teacher from our
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High School.</p>
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<p>READER: Shhh.</p>
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<p>JERRY: <whispers> Are you sure?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: He's older, completely covered in filth, no whistle, but
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I think it's him.</p>
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<p>JERRY: George got him fired. He squealed on him.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Ooh tattle tale</p>
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<p>GEORGE: <yells> I didn't tattle </p>
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<p>READER: Shh Shh</p>
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<p>KRAMER: What did this guy do? What happened?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: There was an incident. I'd rather not discuss it.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Oh come on, You can tell me.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Some other time.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: What tonight?</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN WALKS BY</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Y'know I never figured you for a squealer.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, he sang like a canary.</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: Mr. Bookman's not here.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Not here? Why was I told to come down here?</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: He'll be out all afternoon on a case.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: He's out on a case? He actually goes out on cases?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Well what am I supposed to do now?</p>
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<p>LIBRARIAN: I'll have Mr. Bookman get in touch with you.</p>
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<p>JERRY: All right Thanks. Come on lets go</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Let's see if it's Hayman?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Hey, uh, I'll see you boys later. <TURNS TO LIBRARIAN>
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So uh, what's a guy got to do </p>
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<p>around here </p>
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<p>to get a library card?</p>
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<p>PENDANT PUBLISHING OFFICES</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Where's Karen?</p>
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<p>SECRETARY: She went to pick up lunch. </p>
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<p>ELAINE: She didn't ask me what I wanted. </p>
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<p>SECRETARY: She must have forgot.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: How could she forget I've been ordering lunch every day
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here for 3 and a half years? </p>
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<p>Is there something you're not telling me because I'm getting a
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really weird vibe. </p>
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<p>Is Lippman getting rid of me? It's OK I won't say anything.</p>
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<p>SECRETARY: I don't know anything.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Ah, you don't know anything. You see, "I don't know
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anything", means there's </p>
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<p>something to know. If you really didn't know anything you would
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have said "You're crazy." </p>
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<p>LIPPMAN ENTERS</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh, hi Mr. Lippman.</p>
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<p>LIPPMAN: Elaine, </p>
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<p>ELAINE: Um, uh, I was wondering if you got a chance to look at
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that , um, biography of </p>
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<p>Columbus, I gave you? </p>
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<p>LIPPMAN: Yes I did. Yes I did. ... Maureen this water is still
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too cold.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: It's freezing. ... Hurts your teeth.</p>
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<p>AT MONKS</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I'm tellin' ya' somethin' is goin' on. He never likes anything
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I recommend. </p>
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<p>And then that lunch thing.</p>
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<p>JERRY: So they forgot to get your lunch. Big deal!</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What do you know. You've never worked in an office. <TURNS
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TO GEORGE> See, </p>
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<p>you've worked in an office. Jerry thinks I'm over reacting but
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you understand, ... LUNCH!</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I don't understand lunch, I don't know anything about lunch.
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Listen. Just because </p>
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<p>I got the guy fired doesn't mean I turned him into a bum - does
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it?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What did he do?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: He purposely mispronounced my name. Instead of saying,
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"Costanza" He'd say, </p>
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<p>"Can't stand ja". </p>
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<p>"Can't stand ja" ... He made me smell my own gym socks
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once.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I remember he made you wear a jock on your head for a whole
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class. And the straps </p>
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<p>were hangin' down by his ,...</p>
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<p>GEORGE: OK, OK, I never even had him for gym.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I had him for Hygene. Remember his teeth. It was like from
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an exhumed corpse. </p>
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<p>GEORGE: Little baked beans</p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>JERRY: Echh</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Come on tell me what happened.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Well, OK. As I said the guy had it in for me. He actually
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failed me in gym. </p>
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<p>... ME!</p>
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<p>FLASHBACK TO HIGH SCHOOL LOCKER ROOM</p>
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<p>GEORGE: ... Those spastic shnitzer twins ... </p>
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<p>HEYMAN: Can't stand ja ... Can't stand ja</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yes, Mr. Hayman</p>
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<p>HEYMAN: Your underwear was stick'n out of your shorts during gym
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class.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Well I guess that's because I wear boxer shorts.</p>
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<p>HEYMAN: Boxer shorts, ha? Well what brand?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I'm not really sure, I...</p>
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<p>HEYMAN: Well let's take a look.</p>
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<p><GEORGE: gets a wedgie></p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>BACK TO MONK'S</p>
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<p>GEORGE: He gave me a wedgie.</p>
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<p>JERRY: He got fired the next day.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Why do they call it a wedgie?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Because the underwear is pulled up from the back and ...
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it wedges in..</p>
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<p>JERRY: They also have an atomic wedgie. Now the goal there is to
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actually get the </p>
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<p>waistband on top of the head. Very rare.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Boys are sick.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Well what do girls do ?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: We just tease some one 'til they develop an eating disorder.</p>
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<p>guy who ruined his life.</p>
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<p>KRAMER ENTERS</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Hey Babaloo, you better get home. You know this guy Bookman
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from the library </p>
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<p>he's waiting for ya.</p>
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<p>===========================================================================</p>
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<p>STANDUP ROUTINE</p>
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<p>What's amazing to me about the library is it's a place where you
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go in you can take </p>
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<p>out any book you whant they just give it to you and say bring it
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back when you're done. </p>
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<p>It reminds me of like this pathetic friend that everbody had when
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they were a little </p>
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<p>kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if you would just
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be his friend. That's </p>
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<p>what the library is. A government funded pathetic friend. And that's
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why everybody </p>
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<p>kinds of bullies the library. I'll bring it back on time ... I'll
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bring it back late.</p>
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<p>... Oh, what are you going to do? Charge me a nickel? </p>
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<p>===========================================================================</p>
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<p>JERRY'S APARTMENT</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, I'm glad you're here, so we can get this all straightened
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out. Would</p>
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<p>you like a cup of tea?</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: You got any coffee?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Coffee?</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: Yeah. Coffee.</p>
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<p>JERRY: No, I don't drink coffee.</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: Yeah, you don't drink coffee? How about instant coffee?</p>
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<p>JERRY: No, I don't have--</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: You don't have any instant coffee?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Well, I don't normally--</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: Who doesn't have instant coffee?</p>
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<p>JERRY: I don't.</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: You buy a jar of Folger's Crystals, you put it in the
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cupboard, you</p>
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<p>forget about it. Then later on when you need it, it's there. It
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lasts</p>
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<p>forever. It's freeze-dried. Freeze-dried Crystals.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Really? I'll have to remember that.</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: You took this book out in 1971.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Yes, and I returned it in 1971.</p>
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<p>BOOKMAN: Yeah, '71. That was my first year on the job. Bad year
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for libraries.</p>
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<p>Bad year for America. Hippies burning library cards, Abby Hoffman</p>
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|
<p>telling everybody to steal books. I don't judge a man by the length
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of</p>
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<p>his hair or the kind of music he listens to. Rock was never my
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bag. But</p>
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<p>you put on a pair of shoes when you walk into the New York Public</p>
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<p>Library, fella.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Look, Mr. Bookman. I--I returned that book. I remember it
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|
very</p>
|
|
<p>specifically.</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: You're a comedian, you make people laugh.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I try.</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: You think this is all a big joke, don't you?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, I don't.</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: I saw you on T.V. once; I remembered your name--from my
|
|
list. I looked</p>
|
|
<p>it up. Sure enough, it checked out. You think because you're a
|
|
celebrity</p>
|
|
<p>that somehow the law doesn't apply to you, that you're above the
|
|
law?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Certainly not.</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that
|
|
little stamp,</p>
|
|
<p>the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that
|
|
may not mean</p>
|
|
<p>anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of
|
|
a lot.</p>
|
|
<p>Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before:</p>
|
|
<p>Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what
|
|
you're</p>
|
|
<p>thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library</p>
|
|
<p>books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live
|
|
without</p>
|
|
<p>libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to
|
|
change</p>
|
|
<p>the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book,
|
|
right</p>
|
|
<p>now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees</p>
|
|
<p>and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?</p>
|
|
<p>Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue</p>
|
|
<p>fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about
|
|
that</p>
|
|
<p>kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or:
|
|
maybe</p>
|
|
<p>that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks.
|
|
You and</p>
|
|
<p>your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party
|
|
time</p>
|
|
<p>is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!</p>
|
|
<p><Marion sneaks into Kramer's apartment behind Bookman's back
|
|
as he opens Jerry's </p>
|
|
<p>door to leave></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER'S APARTMENT</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: What's wrong?</p>
|
|
<p>MARION: It's Bookman the library cop.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: So I didn't do anything wrong.</p>
|
|
<p>MARION: I'm supposed to be atwork. I could get fired. I shouldn't
|
|
have come here.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Why don't ya' leave?</p>
|
|
<p>MARION: I can't.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY'S DOORWAY</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No way I'm payin' that! I returned that book I n 1971. I
|
|
have a witness </p>
|
|
<p>Sherry Becker. She wore an orange dress. She gave me a piece of
|
|
black jack gum. </p>
|
|
<p>It's a licorice gum. What do ya' think of next I remember it. </p>
|
|
<p><thinks out loud, opens phone book> Becker, ... Becker, ...</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>IN MONKS WITH SHERRY</p>
|
|
<p>SH: Kevin went to a public school, he's the 14 year old? We were
|
|
gonna' send Marsha </p>
|
|
<p>to a private school. Cause in some way they don't learn ... enough
|
|
... I think.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So Sherry, what do you remember about that day at the library?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>SH: I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a Friday afternoon.
|
|
I wore a purple dress. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Purple? Ya' sure it wasn't orange? </p>
|
|
<p>SH: Positive. And I was chewin' Dentyne. I always chewed dentyne.
|
|
Remember Jerry? Dentyne? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No Black Jack? </p>
|
|
<p>SH: Licorice gum? Never! We were reading pasages to each other
|
|
from that Henry Miller book, </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Tropic of Cancer.</p>
|
|
<p>SH: No, Tropic of Capricorn</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Tropic of Capricorn? </p>
|
|
<p>SH: Rememba? What holds the world togetha' ... "As I have
|
|
learned from bitter experience </p>
|
|
<p>is sexual intercourse ." </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Wait a second. Wait a second. You're right. I had both of
|
|
them. </p>
|
|
<p>We read from TROPIC OF CAPRICORN. I was all set to return TROPIC
|
|
OF CANCER. And then ... </p>
|
|
<p>FLASHBACK TO LOCKER ROOM </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Here's the book. Don't let anybody see it. Don't let anything
|
|
happen to it. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Jerry, it's me, George, don't worry, I'll return it</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ok, I'll see you after school. I.m late for Hayman's hygiene.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>BACK TO MONKS</p>
|
|
<p>SH: Where ya' going? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It was nice seeing you again. I just remembered something.
|
|
I've got to go. </p>
|
|
<p><to old man that enters> </p>
|
|
<p>It was GEORGE!</p>
|
|
<p>LIBRARY</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Read another poem.</p>
|
|
<p>MARION: Pressed chest fleshed out west Might be the saviour or
|
|
a garden pest.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Wow, that is great. You should be published. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: You know, the library is kind of a cool place when it's
|
|
closed.</p>
|
|
<p>MARIAN: Oh, yeah. You don't have to be quiet. Listen to the echo:
|
|
HELLO!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: HELLO!</p>
|
|
<p>MARIAN: HELLO!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: HELLO!</p>
|
|
<p>MARIAN: HELLO!</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN (emerging): Hello!</p>
|
|
<p>MARIAN (turning, surprised): Mr. Bookman.</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: I remember when the librarian was a much older woman:
|
|
Kindly,</p>
|
|
<p>discreet, unattractive. We didn't know anything about her private
|
|
life.</p>
|
|
<p>We didn't want to know anything about her private life. She didn't
|
|
have</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>a private life. While you're thinking about that, think about this:
|
|
The</p>
|
|
<p>library closes at five o'clock, no exceptions. This is your final</p>
|
|
<p>warning. Got that, kewpie-doll?</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY'S APARTMENT</p>
|
|
<p><Jerry in bedroom></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Lippman want's to see me in his office SEE ME! That can't
|
|
be good </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Maybe you're getting' a raise. </p>
|
|
<p><buzzer></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Maybe I'm getting' a wedgie.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: It's George</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: George is on his way up.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Wait 'til I tell him about the book.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: <reading> sobs</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Are you OK? What? What?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: It's marion's poetry. I can't take it <leaves sobbing></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Remember that biography I recommended? MY BOSS HATED IT</p>
|
|
<p><Jerry enters>.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm right here.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Remember that Columbus book? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Columbus, Euro trash.</p>
|
|
<p><George enters></p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, it's definetly him. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Him? Him who?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Him who? Hayman him.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hayman The gym teacher? You found him?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, I found him. He was sitting on the steps of the library.
|
|
I sat down </p>
|
|
<p>next to him. He smelled like the locker room after that game against
|
|
Erasmus </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: That was double overtime.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: So I said, "Mr. Hayman, It's me george Costanza, JFK,
|
|
... " He doesn't move. </p>
|
|
<p>So I said uh, "Can't stand ya'", "Can't stand ya'"
|
|
He turns and smiles, the little </p>
|
|
<p>baked bean teeth. I get up to run away, but something was holding
|
|
me back. It was </p>
|
|
<p>Heyman. He had my underwear. There I was on the steps of the 42nd
|
|
St. library , </p>
|
|
<p>a grown man, getting a wedgie. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: At least it wasn't atomic.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: It was.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So Georgie Boy, guess what happened to TROPIC OF CANCER</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: How should I know?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Because I gave it to you. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Me?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yesah, think. Don't you remember you kept begging me to
|
|
see it then finally </p>
|
|
<p>I agreed. You were supposed to return it. I met you in the gym
|
|
locker room.</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: The locker room!</p>
|
|
<p>THE LOCKER ROOM</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Here's the book. Don't let anybody see it. Don't let anything
|
|
happen to it. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Jerry, it's me, George, don't worry, I'll return it tomorrow,
|
|
no problem.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: All right, I'll see you after school. I.m late for Hayman's
|
|
hygiene. </p>
|
|
<p>HEYMAN: Can't Stand Ya'. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yes Mr. Hayman.</p>
|
|
<p>HEYMAN: Your underwear was stick'n out of your shorts during gym
|
|
class.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well I guess that's because I wear boxer shorts.</p>
|
|
<p>HEYMAN: Boxer shorts, ha? Well what brand?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'm not really sure, I...</p>
|
|
<p>HEYMAN: Well let's take a look.</p>
|
|
<p><George gets a wedgie and TROPIC OF CANCER falls on floor></p>
|
|
<p>LIBRARY</p>
|
|
<p>< Jerry writes out a check for the never-returned TROPIC OF
|
|
CANCER and hands it to Bookman></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Anyway, I hope there's no hard feelings.</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: Hard feelings? What do you know about hard feelings? Y'ever
|
|
have a man</p>
|
|
<p>die in your arms? Y'ever kill somebody?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What is your problem?</p>
|
|
<p>BOOKMAN: What's my problem? Punks like you, that's my problem.
|
|
And you better not</p>
|
|
<p>screw up again Seinfeld, because if you do, I'll be all over you
|
|
like a</p>
|
|
<p>pitbull on a poodle.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: (after Bookman exits): That is one tough monkey! <turns
|
|
to Elaine> </p>
|
|
<p>So you were saying?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh? So, I took your suggestion and I gave my boss Marion's
|
|
poems. </p>
|
|
<p>The ones that affected Kramer so much.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, beautiful did he like them? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, ... he didn't! No, ... he didn't!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: <to George> Was he out there?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Na, he's gone. I wonder what happened to him. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I guess we'll never know.</p>
|
|
<p>SOME BACK ALLEY</p>
|
|
<p>HEYMAN: Can't stand ya, <laughing> Can't stand ya. <pan
|
|
to TROPIC OF CANCER on ground></p>
|
|
<p>========================================================================================</p>
|
|
<p>STAND UP</p>
|
|
<p>It was a weird school day, you know what I mean because it kind
|
|
of like started of kind </p>
|
|
<p>of normal. You have like English, Geometry, Social Studies and
|
|
then suddenly you're like </p>
|
|
<p>in Lord of The Flies for 40 minutes you know you're hangin' from
|
|
a rope. You have hardly </p>
|
|
<p>any clothes on. Teachers are yellin' at ya' "Where's your
|
|
jock strap?" Ya' know and kids </p>
|
|
<p>are throwin' dodge balls at you. You're tryin' to survive ... Then
|
|
its History, </p>
|
|
<p>Science, Language. There's something off in the entire flow of
|
|
that day.</p>
|
|
<p>==============================================================================================</p>
|
|
<p>- THE END -
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
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