784 lines
40 KiB
HTML
784 lines
40 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
|
|
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
|
|
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
|
|
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
|
|
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
|
|
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="© 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
|
|
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Pie</title>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
|
|
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Pie. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
|
|
<meta name="keywords" content="the pie, seinfeld pie, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageType="CONTENT";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
|
|
|
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
|
|
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:title" content="The Pie"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePie.html"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Pie. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<div class="wrap">
|
|
<div class="head_title">
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="menu">
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
|
|
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="underMenu">
|
|
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
|
|
<h1>The Pie</h1>
|
|
|
|
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
|
|
<tr>
|
|
<td>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-in_content-top_left */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
|
|
google_ad_width = 300;
|
|
google_ad_height = 250;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
</td>
|
|
</tr>
|
|
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
Transcribed by: Christian Fecteau</p>
|
|
<p>Written by <i>Tom Gammill</i> and <i>Max Pross</i>; directed by <i>Tom
|
|
Cherones</i>;<br>
|
|
Episode no. 79; pc: 515, season 5, episode 15; Broadcast date: Feb 7,
|
|
1994</p>
|
|
<p><b>Guest Stars:</b></p>
|
|
<p>Suzanne Snyder - <i>Audrey</i><br>
|
|
Christine Dunford - <i>Saleswoman</i><br>
|
|
Reni Santoni - <i>Poppie</i><br>
|
|
Lane Davies - <i>MacKenzie</i><br>
|
|
Mark Beltzman - <i>Bob</i><br>
|
|
Sunday Theodore - <i>Olive</i><br>
|
|
Sam Lloyd - <i>Ricky</i><br>
|
|
Paul Mantee - <i>Health Inspector</i><br>
|
|
Patricia Belcher - <i>Woman #1</i><br>
|
|
Pamela Mant - <i>Woman #2</i><br>
|
|
Bernard Hocke - <i>Guy in Diner</i><br>
|
|
Eamonn Roche - <i>Waiter</i><br>
|
|
Robert Kino - <i>Ricky's Boss</i><br>
|
|
Tony Edwards - <i>Businessman</i></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Monk's coffee shop, evening] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and his date, Audrey, are sitting at a booth having dinner)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Hum! That was really good! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah. Are you full? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Oh no, I've had just enough. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Waitress brings dessert)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Here we go... apple pie! Best apple pie in the city. <i>(Jerry
|
|
starts eating)</i> Delicious. I'm not waiting for you. Take some. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: No thanks. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You're not gonna have any? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: No <i>(with a disgusted face)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Do you not like apple pie? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: No, it's not that. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, at least taste it. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: No <i>(a resolute "no")</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You won't even taste it? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: No. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Come on, try it! <i>(Audrey shakes her head doing "no")</i>
|
|
A little taste! <i>(still shaking)</i> Come on! <i>(still shaking)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Jerry's appartment, the next day] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and George)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Did she say why? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No. She wouldn't say anything. She just kept shaking her head
|
|
like this <i>(Imitating Audrey)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Maybe she's diabetic. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No. She carries Entemanns doughnuts in her purse. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Maybe you said something that offended her. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: The only thing I can think of is I told her we should have those
|
|
moving walkways all over the city. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Like at the airport? <i>(getting excited)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: That's a great idea!!! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Tell me about it! </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: We could be zipping all over the place. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: They could at least try it. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: They never try anything. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What's the harm? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No harm! </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Elaine enters)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: <i>(still talking to George)</i> I'm sorry. There's no reason
|
|
for her not to taste that pie. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Who wouldn't taste a pie? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Audrey. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Dump her. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Boy, I never broke up with anyone for not tasting pie??? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: <i>(piffling)</i> I once broke up with someone for not offering
|
|
me pie. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You did? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: He could be eating a Hero, he wouldn't offer me anything. It's
|
|
a sickness. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, I can't walk anywhere now. I just gonna be wishing there
|
|
were walkways. <i>(seeing Elaine removing her shoe)</i> What are you doing?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I got a pebble. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Boy, I never heard of that happening to a woman? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What the hell does that mean? </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Kramer enters)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey! Elaine. Go Like this. <i>(imitating a mannequin posture)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What? Why? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Do it. Do it. This. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Like... <i>(doing it)</i> Like this? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh yeah! It's you! </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What's me? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: <i>(to the gang)</i> There's a clothing store downtown. They
|
|
got a mannequin in there that looks exactly like Elaine. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Get out! </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: It's uncanny! It's like they chopped off your arms and legs,
|
|
dipped you in plastic, and screwed you back all together, and stuck you
|
|
on a pedestal. It's really quite exquisite. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Kramer, what's the name of the store with the mannequin? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Rinitze. <i>(he takes Jerry's spatula and starts rubbing his
|
|
back with it)</i> Oh yeah... </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: <i>(to Kramer)</i> Uh... may I help you? <i>(wondering what the
|
|
hell's Kramer doing)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: It's this itch. I was watching TV without my shirt on, and one
|
|
my couch cushion didn't have any fabric on it. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Wait a minute, Rinitze? Don't they have somme really cool suits
|
|
in there? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Real Boss! </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I'm going down there. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'm gonna go with you. I gotta get a new suit. I got a second
|
|
interview with MacKenzie, and I think I'm really close. They're all taking
|
|
me out to lunch on Friday. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: <i>(grabbing George by the arm, hurried to leave)</i> Let's go.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: All right. All right. <i>(They both leave)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: <i>(leaving too, with the spatula)</i> Are you gonna need this?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Keep it. <i>(implied: please)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Rinitze] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(George and Elaine stares at the mannequin)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: It looks exactly like me. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: It's like some pod landed from another planet and took your body.
|
|
Don't fall asleep Elaine. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What's going on here? How do you think this happened? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Whoa, look at this. This is a beautiful suit. Huh? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You think that could be a coincidence George? Is that possible?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>(the saleswoman approaches George as he's trying the suit)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: <i>(european accent)</i> You are perfect for that suit. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You think so? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: <i>(to the saleswoman)</i> Excuse me. Where did this come from?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: I don't know. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You really think this looks O.K. on me? </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: Fabulous. Perfect fit. And it's the last one we have. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I'm sorry. You can't tell me where the mannequin came from? </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: I told you, I don't know. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: <i>(irritated, but still polite)</i> Well, is there somebody
|
|
around here I could talk to who would know? </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: Why? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Isn't it obvious? This mannequin looks exactly like me. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(saleswoman rolls her eyes at George about Elaine)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: <i>(upset)</i> Did you just roll your eyes at him? Because let
|
|
me tell you something, if anobody should be rolling their eyes, it is
|
|
me at him about you. </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: I think maybe you're flattering yourself. That mannquein
|
|
is wearing a 1200$ Gaultier dress. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(George is looking at himself in the mirror and doesn't care about
|
|
their dispute)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What are you saying, that I'm not good enough for this hideous
|
|
dress? <i>(looking at her name tag)</i> Listen Natasha... I wouldn't be
|
|
caught dead wearing your crummy little euro-trash rags. <i>(to George)</i>
|
|
I'll meet you outside. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Elaine leaves and waits outside)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: What is her problem? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Pfft! What can you do? <i>(looking at a tag on the suit)</i>
|
|
Is this the price tag? </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: Yes. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yes, hello. Party's over. <i>(taking off the suit)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: I'll tell you a little secret. We're having an unadvertised
|
|
sale starting Friday, that suit will be half-price. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: So you think you can put the suit aside and hold it for me? </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: Oh, I'm afraid I could't do that. It wouldn't be fair to
|
|
the other customers. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh yes, of course, and we have to be fair. <i>(placing the suit
|
|
further away in the rack)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Monk's] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry, Elaine and Kramer at a booth)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: So, I found out who supplies the mannequins and I called 'em
|
|
up. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: How did they get your face? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I don't know. They wouldn't tell me. <i>(Jerry is not listening,
|
|
he's looking at two women sitting in the other booth)</i> Jerry? Je...
|
|
Hello? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: <i>(Jerry gets up and walk to these persons)</i> Uh... Excuse
|
|
me. I couldn't help but notice you offered her a piece of your pie. </p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN 1: That's right. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: And you waved it away. </p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN 2: Right. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Did you give her a reason? </p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>WOMAN 2: Yes, I was full. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You were full. So you gave a reason. You didn't just shake your
|
|
head. </p>
|
|
<p>WOMAN 2: No, I'm not a psycho. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Exactly. You're not a psycho. You've been very helpful. Thank
|
|
you very much. Allow me to leave the tip. <i>(sits back with Elaine and
|
|
Kramer)</i> Well, I think we proven who the psycho is. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: We certainly have. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey, Elaine scratch my back. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No way! </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Come on, one lap around. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: It will be a funky adventure. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Kramer, forget it. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Jerry, how about you? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I think you know my policy. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I'm going home to spatula. <i>(picks up the check and walks to
|
|
the cashier)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I thought George was meeting us here? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No he's going downtown to guard the suit. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: He's guarding a suit? </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE <i>(the cashier)</i> : <i>(to Kramer)</i> Do you need some help
|
|
with that itch? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Madam, I pray you're not toying with me. <i>(Olive shows her
|
|
long finger nails)</i> Whoa. </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: Turn around. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, all right. <i>(Olive scratches, Kramer enjoys, Elaine and
|
|
Jerry watch.)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Rinitze] </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: <i>(makes a guy trying the suit. His name is not mentionned
|
|
but it seems to be Bob as it appears in the credits at the end of the
|
|
episode.)</i> It fits you perfectly. </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: You think so? <i>(she nods and walks away)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: <i>(outside, looking the guy trying the suit through the window,
|
|
and thinking out loud)</i> What's this? Can't I leave this place for a
|
|
second? <i>(goes in, take off his jacket, walks to the guy and talks to
|
|
him with an european accent)</i> Can I help you? </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: I'm buying the suit. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, no, no, this suit is not for sale. <i>(tries to take off
|
|
the suit from the guy)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: Excuse me, do you work here? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: <i>(leaving the european accent)</i> No. </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: Then what the hell business is it of yours? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Look, I'm doing you a favor. They're having an unadvertised sale.
|
|
This suit is gonna be half-priced starting ... Monday. </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: Really? This Monday? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yes. Now take off those pants. </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: Actually, the unadvertised sale starts on Friday. </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: Friday? Thanks. <i>(Gives a dirty look at George and leaves)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: <i>(to the saleswoman)</i> You know honey for an unadvertised
|
|
sale, you're doing a lot of yapping about it. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(she starts undressing mannequin Elaine, and George acts like he's
|
|
really seeing Elaine naked)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Poppie's restaurant] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and Audrey are sitting at a table, and Jerry looks at the menu)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I can't beleive your father owns this place. So how are the desserts
|
|
here? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Everything is delicious. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You've tasted them? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Um-hmm, I think almost all of them. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh I see they have apple pie. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Mmm-hmm. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You've had the apple pie? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Many times. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Audrey, I got to be honest with you. I'm a very curious guy. It's
|
|
my nature. I need to know things. Not tasting the apple pie the other
|
|
day, I can't get past it. You obviously like pies. You carry doughnuts
|
|
in your bag, you're not averse to pastry. Surely you could see how such
|
|
a thing would prey on my mind. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Can we drop this? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: <i>(like a frustrated child)</i> Why can't I know? </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Poppie comes to the table)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Ah! Poppie. </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: Sweetheart, hello. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Poppie, this is Jerry. </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: Welcome <i>(shakes Jerry's hand)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hello Poppie. </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: Don't fill up on the bread. I'm making you a very special dinner.
|
|
Very special. <i>(he leaves)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: The pies. I'm going to the bathroom. You know. <i>(he leaves)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and Poppie in the bathroom. Jerry washes his hands while Poppie
|
|
flushes and gets out of the stall)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: Ah, Jerry! Tonight you in for a real treat. I'm personnaly going
|
|
to prepare the dinner for you and my Audrey. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(He zips up and leaves whitout washing his hands. Jerry notices it)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p><i>(back at the table with Audrey, Jerry can see Poppie in the kitchen
|
|
with his hands in the dough, making dinner)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Jerry are you OK? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Huh? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Is anything wrong? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, Nothing. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: You look like you've seen a ghost. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry can't talk and he's staring at Poppie's hands. Poppie smiles
|
|
and winks at him)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Monk's] </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: <i>(to another cashier)</i> I'll see you tomorrow. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Kramer enters with flowers)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey. These are for you Olive. </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: Thank you. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(They leave and she starts scratching Kramer's back)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Ohh! </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Poppie's] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Poppie serves dinner)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: Here it is. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Wait till you taste this. <i>(she eats)</i> Poppie, this is perfect.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: <i>(to Jerry)</i> Well? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Jerry have some. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry shakes his head doing "no")</i> </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: You're not gonna taste it? </p>
|
|
<p><i>(still shaking)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Jerry. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(still shaking)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Jerry's appartment] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and George eat cereals sitting on the couch)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So she tought I did it to get back at her </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Why didn't you just tell her? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't think that's the kind of thing you wanna hear about your
|
|
father. But I'll tell you when he came out of that bathroom and he was
|
|
kneading that dough, it was a wild scene. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: How could he not have washed? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Even if you're not gonna soap up, at least pretend for my benefit.
|
|
Turn the water on, do something. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, just like I do. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You know a chef who doesn't wash is like a cop who steals. It's
|
|
a cry for help, he wants to get caught. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, I think Poppie's got some problems. There's a whole other
|
|
thing going on with Poppie. So how did you leave ti? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: We haven't spoken. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Kramer enters holding the spatula)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, I'm not gonna need this anymore. I got Olive. <i>(Jerry
|
|
throws out the spatula)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Olive? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah. My lady friend down at Monks. You guys ought to see the
|
|
way she works her nails across my back. Ohh! She's a maestro. The crisscross.
|
|
The figure eight, strummin' the ol' banjo, and this wild, savage free-for-all
|
|
where anything can happen. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I got to get downtown and buy that suit. The store opens in twenty
|
|
minutes. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Is that Elaine mannequin still there? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah. The last time I saw her, she was naked. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah, and Poppie's got problems... </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Rinitze] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(The saleswoman unlock the door's entrance where Bob is waiting. He
|
|
rushes inside and George enters after him slowly and confident. Bob can't
|
|
find the suit on the rack. George walks to a different rack.)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: Where is it? Where is it? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: <i>(George takes out the suit from the other rack)</i> Well,
|
|
look at this. <i>(innocently)</i> This doesn't belong here! Someone has
|
|
made a terrible mistake. </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: You bastard! You hid the suit. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Hid? I have no idea how this suit got misplaced. Nevertheless,
|
|
I do believe I shall purchase it. </p>
|
|
<p>BOB: I hope you rot in that suit. I'm gonna get you for this. I don't
|
|
know how, but I'm gonna get you. You are going to pay! </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, I'll pay. Half-price. Arrivederci my fellow 40-short. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Monks] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and Elaine at a booth)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: So I made a little list of people who might've made the mannequin.
|
|
You know, possible suspects. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah, all right. Go ahead. <i>(not very interested)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: There's this blind guy at a party I was at, and he felt my face
|
|
for a really long time. You know, to see what I looked like. He almost
|
|
put his finger up my nose. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hum... ok, what else you got? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: OK, I'm not gonna tell you the rest of the list. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, because I didn't think the blind guy did it? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Because you have an attitude. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(George enters wearing his new suit, parading and snapping his fingers)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY and ELAINE: Oh! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Georgio! Nice duds! </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You're telling me. <i>(he walks around and the suit makes a swooshing
|
|
sound)</i> So, what do you think? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Did you hear something? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, like a swoosh. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: It must be the fabric. It's rubbing between you thighs when you
|
|
walk. That's what's making that swooshy sound. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(George walks back and forth to verify and it swooshes again)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I probably didn't hear it on the way over because of the street
|
|
noise. <i>(he panics)</i> This is no good! I got to meet these guys from
|
|
MacKenzie for lunch in half an hour! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So what? What would they care? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: This MacKenzie, he's a bit of a nut. Someone told me he fired
|
|
the last guy because his nose whistled when he breathed. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So you think you're not gonna get the job because your pants make
|
|
a noise? </p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Let's say it comes down to me and one other guy. He's got a nice
|
|
quiet suit, and I'm whooshing all over the place! Who do you think he's
|
|
gonna hire? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You know, I think all these interviews are making you nuts. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Kramer comes back from the bathroom)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey Jerry, I saw your girlfriend was in here before. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Audrey? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yep. Sat down, had herself a piece of pie. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Was it apple? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: What else? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel! </p>
|
|
<p><i>(a stranger stops and looks at Elaine)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>STRANGER: Do I know you? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hmm... No you don't. </p>
|
|
<p>STRANGER: Yeah! You were wearing a G-string and one of those bras with
|
|
points. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: The mannequin! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, I got to see this thing. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Rinitze] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and Elaine enter and see the mannequin getting spanked by another
|
|
mannequin)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Boy, the resemblance is uncanny. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Elaine goes to the saleswoman)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You think you can pose me however you want? That's my ass in
|
|
your window! </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: It's our store and our mannequin, we can do whatever we want
|
|
with it. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No! You take down that mannequin right now, or I'm pressing charges.
|
|
<i>(Jerry goes along)</i> Yes, this is my attorney. </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: <i>(to Jerry)</i> Yeah? What law am I breaking? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, I believe there's some legal precedent - Winchell vs. Mahoney,
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Uh-huh </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: The Charlie Macarthy hearings. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Uh-huh. Are you taking this down? </p>
|
|
<p>SALESWOMAN: I'm getting the manager. <i>(she leaves)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Jerry get the car. <i>(she's getting the mannequin)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What are you doing? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Just get the car! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Elaine, as your legal counsel I must advise against this. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(They get out with the mannequin)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Jerry's car] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Jerry and Elaine are sitting in the car with the mannequin between
|
|
them. Jerry looks at the two Elaines beside him.)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't know about you, but I'm getting a hankering for some doublemint
|
|
gum. I'm dropping you off at work, right? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Where are you going? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Poppie's </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: a restaurant] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(George with MacKenzie and two other businessmen are walking to a
|
|
table)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: Thanks for meeting me down here George. My office is out of
|
|
control, <i>(George's pants are making noise)</i> phones ringing, people
|
|
running in and out. <i>(MacKenzie stops talking and walking, George too)</i>
|
|
Did you hear something? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, I didn't hear anything. </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: Huh, that's strange. <i>(they start walking again)</i> It's
|
|
quieter here. We can concentrate without people wooshing around... <i>(he
|
|
stops again, George too)</i> That sound again. Sure you didn't hear anything?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, can't say as I did. </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: Kind of like a... rustling. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Could be the leaves... </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Poppie's] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Audrey talks to a client on the phone)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: That's right. Poppie's on 77th. Ok we'll see you at 8:00. Bye-bye.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hello. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: What are you doing here? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So how was the pie? </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: What pie? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: The apple pie you had today at Monks </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: I'm very busy here. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Pretty good, wasn'it? I told you you should've tasted it. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: You better not let Poppie see you here. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(a man in a coat, a Health Inspector, comes to Audrey)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>Health Inspector: All right, I'm looking for someone named Poppie. </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: Uh, who are you? </p>
|
|
<p>Health Inspector: Board of health, we've had several complaints. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, about the... uh <i>(Jerry pretend to wash his hands)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>Health Inspector: Are you Poppie? </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: I'm Poppie. </p>
|
|
<p>Health Inspector: I think you'd better come with me. </p>
|
|
<p>POPPIE: What's the problem? </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Poppie leaves with the Health Inspector)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>AUDREY: What do they want from Poppie? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, Poppie's a little sloppy. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: at the restaurant with MacKenzie] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(everybody's laughing at the table)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: You taught I'd care about your pants wooshing? </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I heard the last guy got fired because his nose whislted. </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: No, no, no. He got fired because he wasn't a team player.
|
|
That's something we don't joke about at MacKenzie. You'll find we're team
|
|
here George. We don't tolerate dissent. If you want to go your own way,
|
|
you're in the wrong place. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No problem there. Conformity is an obsession with me. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(The waiter brings dessert)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>WAITER: Chocolate cream pie. Compliments of the house. </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: Oh! Hope you saved room for dessert. </p>
|
|
<p>WAITER: <i>(to George)</i> The chef said that he made it special for
|
|
you. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh... <i>(George looks around and sees the chef hiding behind
|
|
a plant: it's Bob!)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>MACKENZIE: Mmm.. Best pie I've ever tasted. Take a bite George. <i>(George
|
|
shakes his head doing "no")</i> Well, take a bite. It's delicious.
|
|
<i>(still shaking)</i> I insist. <i>(still shaking)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>BUSINESSMAN: If you're one of us, you'll take a bite. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(still shaking)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: Monk's] </p>
|
|
<p><i>(evening, George, Jerry and Kramer at a booth, Olive at the cash)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So you didn't get the job. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No. But I was the only one at the table that didn't get violently
|
|
ill. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Kramer, you can't keep avoiding her like this, you're gonna have
|
|
to say something. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: What am I supposed to say? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Tell her you lost your itch. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: What happened to your itch? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I lost it two days ago. I've been faking it so I wouldn't hurt
|
|
her feelings. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well you should tell her. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I'll let her down easy. All right. <i>(he gets up and walks to
|
|
Olive)</i> Well, hi Olive. <i>(she reaches for Kramer's back)</i> No,
|
|
no. No more of that. There's something I have to tell you. </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: What? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Uh, well, there's someone else. </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: Someone else? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, yeah, yeah... </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: Who is she? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Her. <i>(he points to the Elaine mannequin in Jerry's car)</i>
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: her? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, there she is. That's my gal. </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: You're a liar. I've seen her in here before. She's not your girlfriend.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Now Olive, look, I'm sorry. </p>
|
|
<p>OLIVE: Why is she wearing her underwear? </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, it's a style. <i>(turns back to Jerry)</i> Jerry give me
|
|
the keys. <i>(Jerry throws his keys to Kramer)</i> Well, I guess we're
|
|
gonna go for a drive now. She really loves that. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Kramer gets into Jerry's car and starts making out with the mannequin
|
|
while Olive is looking through the window. But it doesn't work quite as
|
|
good as Kramer was hoping cause the mannequin's hand fall out from the
|
|
arm!)</i> </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Commercials cut the scene but we assume Kramer left with Jerry's
|
|
car and the mannequin. Jerry and George are still at the table, eating
|
|
dessert)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Did you ever solve the riddle of the pie? </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No. That's one for the ages. But I think they're gonna put Poppie
|
|
away for a long long time. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(Elaine enters and sit with Jerry and George. Olive is looking at
|
|
her, confused.)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You guys are not gonna believe this. I just got a letter from
|
|
a friend of mine in Chicago who's shopping, and she said she saw a mannequin
|
|
that looked just like me. What if there're more. Where are they coming
|
|
from? </p>
|
|
<p><i>(scene ends)</i> </p>
|
|
<p>[setting: The building where Ricky works. Ricky's the guy in "The
|
|
Cigar Store Indian" who made a bouquet for Elaine from Frank's TV
|
|
guide.] </p>
|
|
<p>RICKY'S BOSS: Ricky, we've been getting a tremendous response to your
|
|
TR-6 mannequin. </p>
|
|
<p>RICKY: TR-6? I prefer to think of her as... Elaine. </p>
|
|
<p><i>(end of the show)</i> </p>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<p
|
|
align="center"> </p>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- content -->
|
|
|
|
<div id="navBar">
|
|
|
|
<div id="upperBox">
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
|
|
google_ad_width = 200;
|
|
google_ad_height = 200;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="leftnav"><br />
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
|
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
|
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
|
</div>
|
|
</form>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|