1176 lines
47 KiB
HTML
1176 lines
47 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
|
|
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
|
|
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
|
|
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
|
|
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
|
|
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="© 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
|
|
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Pitch</title>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
|
|
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Pitch. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
|
|
<meta name="keywords" content="the pitch, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageType="CONTENT";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
|
|
|
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
|
|
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:title" content="The Pitch"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePitch.htm"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Pitch. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<div class="wrap">
|
|
<div class="head_title">
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="menu">
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
|
|
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="underMenu">
|
|
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
|
|
<h1>The Pitch</h1>
|
|
|
|
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
|
|
<tr>
|
|
<td>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-in_content-top_left */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
|
|
google_ad_width = 300;
|
|
google_ad_height = 250;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
</td>
|
|
</tr>
|
|
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
|
|
<p align="left"><br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Written by: Larry David<br>
|
|
Directed by: Tom Cherones<br>
|
|
Broadcasted: September 16, 1992 for the first time.<br>
|
|
Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, <br>
|
|
Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Heidi Swedberg (as Susan Ross),
|
|
Peter Crombie (as "Crazy" Joe Divola), Bob Balaban (as
|
|
Russell Dalrymple), and Stephen McHattie (as Dr. Reston). <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Partially transcribed by Ivy<br>
|
|
Additional transcribing by The News Guy(Mike)<br>
|
|
=================================================<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[At club bar]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry and George are talking. Stu and Jay enter. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: Excuse me, Jerry? I'm Stu Chermak. I'm with NBC. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hi. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: Could we speak for a few moments?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Sure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JAY: Hi, Jay Crespi.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hello. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Uh, C-R-E-S-P-I?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JAY: That's right. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I'm unbelievable at spelling last names. Give me a last
|
|
name.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JAY: Mm, I'm not-<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: George-<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (backing off) Huh? All right, fine. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: First of all, that was a terrific show.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh thank you very much. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: And basically, I just wanted to let you know that we've been
|
|
<br>
|
|
discussing you at some of our meetings and we'd be very interested
|
|
in<br>
|
|
doing something. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Really? Wow. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: So, if you have any idea for like a TV show for yourself, well,
|
|
<br>
|
|
we'd just love to talk about it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I'd be very interested in something like that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: Well, here, uh, why don't you give us a call and maybe we can
|
|
develop<br>
|
|
a series. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
They start to exit. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Okay. Great. Thanks.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: It was very nice meeting you. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jery: Thank you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JAY: Nice meeting you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Nice meeting you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George returns]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What was that all about?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: They said they were interested in me. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: For what?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You know, a TV show. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Your own show?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah, I guess so. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: They want you to do a TV show?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, they want me to come up with an idea. I mean, I don't
|
|
have<br>
|
|
any ideas. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Come on, how hard is that? Look at all the junk that's on
|
|
TV.<br>
|
|
You want an idea? Here's an idea. You coach gymnastics team in high
|
|
<br>
|
|
school. And you're married. And your son's not interested in gymnastics
|
|
<br>
|
|
and you're pushing him into gymnastics. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Why should I care if my son's into gymnastics?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Because you're a gymnastics teacher. It's only natural.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: But gymnastics is not for everybody. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I know, but he's your son. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So what?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: All right, forget that idea, it's not for you....Okay, okay,
|
|
I <br>
|
|
got it. You run an antique store. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah and...?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: And people come in the store and you get involved in their<br>
|
|
lives. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What person who runs an antique store gets involved in people's<br>
|
|
lives?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Why not?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So someone comes in to buy an old lamp and all of a sudden
|
|
I'm<br>
|
|
getting them out of a jam? I could see if I was a pharmacist because
|
|
a<br>
|
|
pharmacist knows what's wrong with everybody that comes in. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I know, but antiques are very popular right now. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No they're not, they used to be. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Oh yeah, like you know.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh like you do. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry's Apartment]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: ...And you're the manager of the circus. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: A circus?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Come on, this is a great idea. Look at the characters. You've<br>
|
|
got all these freaks on the show. A woman with a moustache? I mean,
|
|
who <br>
|
|
wouldn't tune in to see a women with a moustache? You've for the
|
|
<br>
|
|
tallest man in the world; a guy who's just a head. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I don't think so. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Look Jerry, the show isn't about the circus, it's about
|
|
watching <br>
|
|
freaks.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I don't think the network will go for it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Why not?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Look, I'm not pitching a show about freaks.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh come on Jerry, you're wrong. People they want to watch
|
|
freaks. <br>
|
|
This is a "can't miss." <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
JERRY: Hello Newman.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Come on lets go. I got the helmet. Lets get the radar detector.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: All right I'll be back in a second. You guys coming to my
|
|
party? [exits]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Together: Yeah, sure.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What's this all about?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: We're making a trade. I'm giving him my motorcycle helmet
|
|
- he's giving me his radar detector.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I didn't know you had a motorctcle.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Well my girlfriend had one.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You have a girlfriend?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: I HAD a girlfriend and she was pretty wild.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I never remember you with a girl.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Nevertheless, ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: This is a pretty bad deal for Kramer. You know a radar detector
|
|
is worth much more than that helmet. I think you're cheating him.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Don't say anything.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: All right.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer enters]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You know you're getting gypped over here.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Really, Ah, <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: We had a deal. Are you reneging out of the deal? Are you
|
|
reneging? That's a renege.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh, stop saying 'reneging".<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Well you're reneging.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I, Okay, okay. I'm not reneging.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[they try to exchange items but won't let go]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: All right give it to me. let go ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: You let go - come on ...[they fight over the items]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Gimme that - just gimme that. Here. Idiots!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN: Thanks buddy. So long he he ...[exits]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Does that thing work?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Nah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
At Monks.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry and George enter.]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: ... I just got a postcard from Elaine?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Really?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah, they're in London now. They'll be back in a few weeks.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I can't believe she got involved with a shrink. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: So, what's happening with the TV show? You come up with
|
|
anything?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No, nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Why don't they have salsa on the table?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What do you need salsa for?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa."
|
|
"Excuse me, do<br>
|
|
you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where
|
|
is the salsa? No salsa?"<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order<br>
|
|
seltzer and not get salsa. (Angry) "I wanted seltzer, not salsa."<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa??
|
|
You <br>
|
|
have the seltezer after the salsa!"<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: See, this should be a show. This is the show. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: This. Just talking. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (dismissing) Yeah, right. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I'm really serious. I think that's a good idea. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Just talking? Well what's the show about?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: It's about nothing. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No story?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: No forget the story. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You've got to have a story. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting
|
|
for, <br>
|
|
for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could
|
|
be a TV<br>
|
|
show.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: And who is on the show? Who are the characters?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I could be a character.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah. You could base a character on me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So, on the show, there's a character named George Costanza?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah. There's something wrong with that? I'm a character.
|
|
People are always saying to me, "You know you're a quite a
|
|
character."<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: And who else is on the show?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Elaine could be a character. Kramer..<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Now he's a character. (Pause) So everybody I know is a character
|
|
on the show.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Right.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: And it's about nothing?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Absolutely nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So you're saying, I go in to NBC, and tell them I got this
|
|
idea for a show about nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: We go into NBC.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: "We"? Since when are you a writer?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (Scoffs) Writer. We're talking about a sit-com.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You want to go with me to NBC?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah. I think we really go something here.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What do we got?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: An idea.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What idea?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: An idea for the show.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I still don't know what the idea is.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: It's about nothing. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Right.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Everybody's doing something, we'll do nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So, we go into NBC, we tell them we've got an idea for a
|
|
show about nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Exactly.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: They say, "What's your show about?" I say, "Nothing."<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: There you go.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(A moment passes)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (Nodding) I think you may have something there.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry's apartment]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry's explaining George's idea to Kramer)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: So, the show would be about my real life. And one of the
|
|
characters would be based on you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
KRAMER: (Thinks) No, I don't think so.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What do you mean you don't think so?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I don't like it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I don't understand. What don't you like about it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I don't like the idea of a character based on me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Why not?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: well it just doesn't sit well.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You're my neighbor. There's got to be a character based on
|
|
you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: That's your problem, buddy.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I don't understand what the big deal is.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Hey, I'll tell you what - you can do it on one condition.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Whatever you want.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I get to play Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You can't play Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I am Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: But you can't act.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Phew!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Newman enters]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Okay, fine. We'll use Newman. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Newman?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:Use me for what?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Nothin' What do you want?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:Well, you'll never guess what happened to me today. I was
|
|
uh, driving [ Jerry and Kramer turn away] home on the palisades
|
|
parkway when I looked in the rear view mirror and what did I see?
|
|
The fuzz. And it's funny because my new radar detector was on. I
|
|
didn't hear a thing. Isn't that strange?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah. That's strange. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:A radar detector, as I understand it, DETECTS RADAR! WITH
|
|
A SERIES OF BEEPS AND FLASHING LIGHTS. But oddly, for some reason
|
|
I didn't hear a thing except for the sound of a police siren.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: That's queer uh?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:I WANT MY HELMET BACK! GIVE ME BACK MY HELMET AND YOU'RE
|
|
GOING TO PAY FOR THAT TICKET.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah, you better think again Mojumbo. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:You gave me a defective detector. ... Jerry?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Buyer beware. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:Are you going to give me back that helmet or not? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: No. We had a deal. There are no guarantees in life.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:No, but there's karma, Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Karma Kramer?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
NEWMAN:And one more thing. I'm not coming to your party. [exits]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Scene ends)<br>
|
|
[ NBC reception area)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry and George are waiting)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (To himself) Salsa, seltzer. Hey, excuse me, you got any
|
|
salsa? No, not selzer, salsa. (George doesn't react) What's the
|
|
matter?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (Nervous) Nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: You sure? You look a little pale.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: No, I'm fine. I'm good. I'm very good.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What, are you nervous?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: No, not nervous. I'm good, very good. (A beat, then he snaps)
|
|
I can't do this! Can't do this!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I can't do this! I can't do it. I have tried. I'm here.
|
|
It's impossible.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: This was your idea!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What idea? I just said something. I didn't know you were
|
|
going to listen to me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Dont' worry about it. They're just TV executives.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: They're men with jobs, Jerry! They wear suits and ties.
|
|
They're married, they have secretaries.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I told you not to come.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I need some water. I gotta get some water.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: They'll give us water in there.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Really? That's pretty good.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry looks into hallway]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh God, it's Joe Devola.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Who?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: This guy's a writer, he's a total nut. I think he goes to
|
|
the same shrink as Elaine.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh God he saw me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: Hello Jerry.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hey Joe! HOW YOU DOING?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: You're under no obligation to shake my hand.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, no, Just a custom. Uh, THAT'S MY FRIEND GEORGE. YOU LOOK
|
|
GOOD.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: Why shouldn't I look good?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, no reason. You're into karate right?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: You want to hit me?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What are you doing here?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: I dreopped a script off.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: AH, GOOD FOR YOU.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[they stare at each other]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: You don't have to say anything.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No, Uh, hey I guess I'll see you Sunday night.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: Why?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Kramer's party.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: Kramer's ... having ... a ... party? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No, no, he's not having a party. He's doing something. I
|
|
don't know what it is. It's nothing. He's not doing anything.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DEVOLA: Gee, I thought Kramer and I were very close friends.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No, I'm sure you are. I'm sure you are very close friends.
|
|
Very close.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Crazy Joe leaves]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Give my best to Hinckley.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What was that?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I can't believe what I just did. I didn't know kramer didn't
|
|
invite him. I better call Kramer, ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[before he can dial]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RECEPTIONIST: They're ready for you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Okay, okay. Look, you do all the talking, okay?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Relax. Who are they?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah, they're not better than me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Course not.<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Who are they?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: They're nobody.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What about me?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What about you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Why them? Why not me?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Why not you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I'm as good as them.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Better.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You really think so?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(The door opens, and, from Jerry and George's point of view, four
|
|
executives stand up)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Scene ends)<br>
|
|
[ NBC president's office]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Stu Chermak, Susan Ross, Jay Crespi, and Russell Dalrymple, the
|
|
head of the network, are all talking with Jerry and George)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
STU: (To Jerry, laughing about one of his bits) The bit, the bit
|
|
I really liked what were the parakeet flew into the mirror. Now
|
|
that's funny.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: The parakeet in the mirror. That's a good one, Stu.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Yeah, it's one of my favorites.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: What about you, George? Have you written anything we might
|
|
know?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (Quickly making it up) Well, possibly. I wrote an off-Broadway
|
|
show, "La Cocina." ..Actually, it was off-off-Broadway.
|
|
It was a comedy about a Mexican chef.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, it was very funny. There was one great scene with the
|
|
chef - what was his name?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Pepe.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, Pepe. Yeah, Pepe. And, uh, he was making tamales.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SusaNEWMAN:Oh, he actually cooked on the stage?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: No, no, he mimed it. That's what was so funny about it.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: So, what have you two come up with?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, we've thought about this in a variety of ways. But
|
|
the basic idea is I will play myself-<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (Interrupting) May I?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Go ahead.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I think I can sum up the show for you with one word: NOTHING.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: Nothing?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (Smiling) Nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: (Unimpressed) What does that mean?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: The show is about nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (To George) Well, it's not about nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (To Jerry) No, it's about nothing.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, maybe in philosophy. But, even nothing is something.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Jerry and George glare at each other. The receptionist enters)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Receptionist: Mr. Dalrymple, your niece is on the phone.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: I'll call back.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(Receptionist leaves)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE:(Attempting to spell his last name) D-A-L-R-I-M-P-E-L?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: (Obviously dislikes George) Not even close.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Is it with a "y"?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: No.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SusaNEWMAN:What's the premise?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: ..Well, as I was saying, I would play myself, and, as a comedian,
|
|
living in New York, I have a friend, a neighbor, and an ex-girlfriend,
|
|
which is all true.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah, but nothing happens on the show. You see, it's just
|
|
like life. You know, you eat, you go shopping, you read.. You eat,
|
|
you read, You go shopping.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: You read? You read on the show?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, I don't know about the reading.. We didn't discuss
|
|
the reading.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: All right, tell me, tell me about the stories. What kind
|
|
of stories?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Oh, no. No stories.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: No stories? So, what is it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: (Showing an example) What'd you do today?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: I got up and came to work.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: There's a show. That's a show.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: (Confused) How is that a show?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, uh, maybe something happens on the way to work.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: No, no, no. Nothing happens.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, something happens.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: Well, why am I watching it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Because it's on TV.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
RUSSELL: (Threatening) Not yet.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Okay, uh, look, if you want to just keep on doing the same
|
|
old thing, then maybe this idea is not for you. I, for one, am not
|
|
going to compromise my artistic integrity. And I'll tell you<br>
|
|
something else, this is the show and we're not going to change it.
|
|
(To Jerry) Right?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(A moment passes)<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: (To Russell) How about this: I manage a circus..<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Monks]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I don't even want to talk about it anymore. What were you
|
|
thinking? What was going on in your mind? Artistic integrity? Where,
|
|
where did you come up with that? You're not artistic and you have
|
|
no integrity. You know you really need some help. A regular psychiatrist
|
|
couldn't even help you. You need to go to like Vienna or something.
|
|
You know what I mean? You need to get involved at the University
|
|
level. Like where Freud studied and have all those people looking
|
|
at you and checking up on you. That's the kind of help you need.
|
|
Not the once a week for eighty bucks. No. You need a team. A team
|
|
of psychiatrists working round the clock thinking about you, having
|
|
conferences, observing you, like the way they did with the Elephant
|
|
Man. That's what I'm talking about because that's the only way you're
|
|
going to get better. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: . . . I thought the woman was kind of cute. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Hold it. I really want to be clear about this. Are you talking
|
|
about the woman in the meeting? Is that the woman you're talking
|
|
about? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Yeah, I thought I might give her a call. I, I don't meet
|
|
that many women. I meet like three women a year. I mean, we've been
|
|
introduced. She knows my name. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: IT'S COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE!<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Why? Maybe she liked me. I, I mean she was looking right
|
|
at me. You know, I think she was impressed. You know, we had good
|
|
eye contact the whole meeting. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, I forgot to call Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Wait a minute let me call Susan.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No, no this is more important.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: She might be leaving to work any minute.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: No, I got to warn him that I told Joe Devola about his party.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: No.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[they race to the pay phone]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Paris hotel room - Dr. Reston and Elaine are kissing]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: What is it?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd04 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
DR. RESTON: I was just thinking about this patient of mine.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: What?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
DR. RESTON: Just wondering if he's taking his medication.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
ELAINE: Well, come on we're on vacation. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry's apartment]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well we were standing uh, inn the waiting area there, and
|
|
you know how Devola is. He's all, ... [buzzer]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah [to buzzer]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: [OC] It's George.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: And so, uh I felt very uncomfortable with him and you know
|
|
I just blurted out something about your party.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Whoa, back up a second. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well, I didn't know that you didn't invite him.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Why would you think I would invite him?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I just a ssumed, ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Assumed? Never assume anything. I don't want that nut in
|
|
my house. You know he's on medication. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George and Susan enter]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Hello, oh, hello. You remember, ... Susan, from N B C.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Of course. How are you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Fine, it's good to see you.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: And this is Kramer.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Hello.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: All right go ahead Susan, tell him.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Tell me what?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Well, I, [phone rings]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Uh, sorry, Excuse me one second. Hello.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
TEL: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long distance
|
|
service.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your
|
|
home number and I'll call you later. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
TEL: Uh, I'm sorry we're not allowed to do that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
TEL: No.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Well now you know how I feel. [Hangs up]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Well, go ahead, tell him.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Kramer, are you drinking that milk? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Yeah.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What's the expiration date on that?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: September third.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: The third?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: and SUSAN: The third?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Um, Uh, ugh, ...<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
SUSAN: Noooo... [Kramer throws up on Susan]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Monk's]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: I never should have brought her up there. Should have known
|
|
better. Should have seen it coming. I didn't see it coming.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: I think SHE saw it coming.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: You know she was behind the idea. She was going to champion
|
|
the show. That's what I was bring her up there to tell you. And
|
|
she liked me. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Look just because Kramer vomited on her doesn't mean the
|
|
deal is dead.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: What, are you crazy? It's a traumatic thing to be thrown
|
|
up on.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Vommiting is not a deal breaker. If Hitler had vommited on
|
|
Chamberlin, Chamberlind still would have given him Chekoslovakia.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Chamberlind, you could hold his head in nthe toilet, he'd
|
|
still give you half of Europe.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer enters with helmet]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What happened to you?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Devola came after me. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What? Devola? See I told you this guy is crazy. I can't believe
|
|
this. What happened?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Can I have a coffee. ... What, you know I was walking home
|
|
and I had to pick up my helmet from the shop, you know. I gota new
|
|
strap. And I had it on you know, and I was checking the strap out
|
|
to make sure it fit. Then suddenly I feel this kick hit me on the
|
|
side of the head. It knocks me down, I look up and it's Crazy Joe
|
|
Devola. And he say's, "That's what I thin k of your party."
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Boy,that is some kick.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Well, yeah, Newman's helmet, it saved my life. Look at that.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Wow, Newman's helmet.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Holly.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: I got bad news for you buddy. Devola says you're next. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: Me, why? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: He doesn't like you. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
JERRY: What does he want from me? I didn't do anything. See this
|
|
is all Elaine's fault. She took off to Europe with his psychiatrist.
|
|
He probably can't get his medication. Now I got some nut after me.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Pass the cream.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
GEORGE: Wait a second. [smells it]. all right.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[End]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- content -->
|
|
|
|
<div id="navBar">
|
|
|
|
<div id="upperBox">
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
|
|
google_ad_width = 200;
|
|
google_ad_height = 200;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="leftnav"><br />
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
|
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
|
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
|
</div>
|
|
</form>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|