714 lines
35 KiB
HTML
714 lines
35 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
|
|
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
|
|
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
|
|
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
|
|
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
|
|
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="© 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
|
|
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Postponement</title>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
|
|
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Postponement. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
|
|
<meta name="keywords" content="the postponement, seinfeld postponement, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageType="CONTENT";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
|
|
|
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
|
|
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:title" content="The Postponement"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePostponement.html"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Postponement. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<div class="wrap">
|
|
<div class="head_title">
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="menu">
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
|
|
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="underMenu">
|
|
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
|
|
<h1>The Postponement</h1>
|
|
|
|
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
|
|
<tr>
|
|
<td>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-in_content-top_left */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
|
|
google_ad_width = 300;
|
|
google_ad_height = 250;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
</td>
|
|
</tr>
|
|
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
<br>
|
|
Transcribed by The News Guy (Mike)</p>
|
|
<p>Bruce Mahler [ Rabbi (Glickman) ], <br>
|
|
Kelly Perine [ Usher ], <br>
|
|
John Rubano [ Man ], <br>
|
|
Evie Peck [ Woman ]</p>
|
|
<p><em>Broadcast: 28 Sep 95 <br>
|
|
Written by: Larry David <br>
|
|
Directed by: Andy Ackerman </em></p>
|
|
<p><br>
|
|
Scene<br>
|
|
[Jerry: and Elaine: are walking down the street and Kramer is parking
|
|
his car ]</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Hey, good news. My dog problem has been solved.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Really? What happened?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Well, there's this rabbi in my building. You've met him. Very
|
|
nice man. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Isn't he the one with the show on cable?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Yea, yeah, yeah,. So I spoke to him about the dog. He went down.
|
|
Talked to the owner. She agr4eed to keep the dog inside from now on. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's great. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I know.</p>
|
|
<p>[Kramer crashing into parking spot]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That looks pretty good.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: He's in.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey, say, you know, we haven't even discussed George's engagement
|
|
yet.<br>
|
|
Elaine: What's to discuss?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Come on! George: is getting married!<br>
|
|
Elaine: Is he happy?<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Scene<br>
|
|
At the restaurant! George: is coming from the bathroom <br>
|
|
to sit with his bride-to-be.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I will never understand the bathrooms in this country. Why is
|
|
it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor?<br>
|
|
Susan: Well, maybe it's so you can see if there's someone in there.<br>
|
|
George: Isn't that why we have locks on the doors?<br>
|
|
Susan: Well, as a backup system, in case the lock is broken, you can see
|
|
if it's taken.<br>
|
|
George: A backup system? We're designing bathroom doors with our legs
|
|
exposed in anticipation of the locks not working? That's not a system.
|
|
That's a complete breakdown of the system.<br>
|
|
Susan: Can we change the subject, please?<br>
|
|
George: Why? What's wrong with the subject? This is a bad subject?<br>
|
|
Susan: No, fine. If you wanna keep talking about it, we'll talk about
|
|
it.<br>
|
|
George: It's not that I want to keep talking about it? just think that
|
|
the subject should resolve itself based on its own momentum.<br>
|
|
Susan: Well, I didn't think that it had any momentum.<br>
|
|
George: (To himself) How am I gonna do this? I'm engaged to this woman?
|
|
She doesn't even like me. Change the subject? Toilets were the subject.
|
|
We don't even share the same interests.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Scene<br>
|
|
[Jerry's]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, he seems pretty happy.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, that's all that counts, I guess.<br>
|
|
Jerry: What's the matter?<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, nothin'.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, you don't seem too enthused about the whole thing.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, what do you want me to do?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, at least have some reaction to it.<br>
|
|
Elaine: …Well, I don't.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Maybe you're a little jealous.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, what? You think I wanna marry George:?<br>
|
|
Jerry: No! But maybe you wish it was you who was getting married, not
|
|
him.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, please! That is the last thing that I want.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, yeah. Right.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yeah, right.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Lainy!<br>
|
|
Elaine: Jerry:!<br>
|
|
Jerry: You don't wanna get married?<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yeah, that's right. I don't wanna get married.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, come on!<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, you come on.<br>
|
|
Jerry: You're such...</p>
|
|
<p>[Kramer enters]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Oh, hey!<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey.<br>
|
|
Kramer: Elaine:, listen, I was talking to a friend about this dog business.
|
|
Do you realize this is gonna be on our permanent records? Are you aware
|
|
of this?<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, dear.<br>
|
|
Kramer: It can never be erased. It'll follow us wherever we go for the
|
|
rest of our lives. I'll never be able to get a job. I mean, doesn't that
|
|
concern you? Everything I've worked for...down the drain because of one
|
|
stupid mistake. I mean, aren't we entitled to make one mistake in our
|
|
lives, Jerry:?<br>
|
|
Jerry: We're gonna change the system.<br>
|
|
Kramer: Yes!<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, I could care less. I hope it is on our record. I'm just
|
|
sorry they didn't lock me up.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Scene<br>
|
|
[Outside Elaine:'s place]</p>
|
|
<p><br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, hello, Rabbi: Krischma.<br>
|
|
Rabbi: Elaine:! Always a pleasure to see you.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Thanks again for taking care of that dog for us.<br>
|
|
Rabbi: Elaine, often times in life there are problems, and just as often
|
|
there are solutions.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yeah, I suppose.<br>
|
|
Rabbi: Elaine, you don't seem yourself today. You seem, if I may say,
|
|
troubled.<br>
|
|
Elaine: No, Rabbi:, I'm not myself.<br>
|
|
Rabbi: Come upstairs. We'll have a talk.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Scene<br>
|
|
At Jerry:'s apartment. George trots in after his lunch with Kiki <br>
|
|
and Big Jer is kicking back with a paper.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey!<br>
|
|
George: I want your honest opinion about something.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Have I ever been less than forthright?<br>
|
|
George: No, you haven't. Well, maybe you have. What do I know.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, I probably have. Yeah, of course I have. What am I talking
|
|
about?<br>
|
|
George: All right. Okay, tell me what you think about this idea: Extend
|
|
the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium all the way to the floor.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Extend the doors on the toilet stalls at Yankee Stadium to the
|
|
floor ...door comes down. Hides your feet. Yes. I like it. I like it a
|
|
lot.<br>
|
|
George: It's good, right?<br>
|
|
Jerry: I think it's fantastic. I think it's a fantastic idea.<br>
|
|
George: You do?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yes, I do.<br>
|
|
George: Well, I told it to Susan: before, and she didn't like it.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hmm.<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. Not only that, this is what she said to me, "Can we
|
|
change the subject?"<br>
|
|
Jerry: See, now that I don't care for.<br>
|
|
George: Right. I mean, we're on a subject. Why does it have to be changed?<br>
|
|
Jerry: It should resolve of its own volition.<br>
|
|
George: That's exactly what I said, except I used the word "momentum".<br>
|
|
Jerry: Momentum - same thing.<br>
|
|
George: Same thing. My god, I'm getting married in December, do you know
|
|
that?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, I know.<br>
|
|
George: Well, I don't see how I'm gonna make December. I mean, I need
|
|
a little more time. I mean, look at me I'm a nervous wreck. My stomach
|
|
aches. My neck is killing me. I can't turn. Look. Look.<br>
|
|
Jerry: You're turning.<br>
|
|
George: Nah, it's not a good turn. December. December. Don't you think
|
|
we should have a little more time just to get to know each other a little.<br>
|
|
Jerry: If you need more time, you should have more time.<br>
|
|
George: What, you think I could postpone it?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Sure you can. Why not?<br>
|
|
George: That's allowed? You're allowed to postpone it?<br>
|
|
Jerry: I don't see why not.<br>
|
|
George: So, I could do that?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Sure, go ahead.<br>
|
|
George: All right! All right. I'll tell you what. How about this? Got
|
|
the date; March 21st, the first day of spring.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Spring. Of course.<br>
|
|
George: Huh? You know? Spring. Rejuvenation. Rebirth. Everything's blooming.
|
|
All that crap.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Beautiful.<br>
|
|
George: She's not gonna like it.<br>
|
|
Jerry: No, she's not.<br>
|
|
George: You know, I think I'm a little bit scared of her. She's five-three,
|
|
like a hundred pounds. I'm frightened to death of her.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Well, she's a woman. They don't like to be disappointed.<br>
|
|
George: Especially her. She does not like disappointment. Well, I have
|
|
to do it. I can't make December. There's no way I can make December. Right?
|
|
I mean, you can see that, right? I mean, look at me. Look. Look. Can I
|
|
make December? I can't make December. Right? Look. Look.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, you'd better shoot for March.</p>
|
|
<p>[Kramer enters]</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Hey, hey.</p>
|
|
<p>George: March 21st. Hey! So, you're gonna back me on this, right?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, all the way.</p>
|
|
<p>George: You are a good friend. You know what? Even if you killed somebody
|
|
I wouldn't turn you in.</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>Jerry: Is that so?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hey, Kramer if I killed somebody would you turn me in?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Definitely.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You're kidding?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: No, no, I would turn you in.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You would turn me in?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Phwap, I wouldn't even think about it.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I can't believe your a friend of mine.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: What kind of person are you going around killing people?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well, I am sure I had a good reason.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Well,, if you'll kill this person, who's to say I wouldn't be
|
|
next?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: But you know me!</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I thought I DID!</p>
|
|
<p>[Rabbi's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I'm not a very religious person but I do feel as if I'm in need
|
|
of some guidance here.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Would you care for a snack of some kind? I have the Snackwells
|
|
which are very popular but I think that sometimes with the so called fat
|
|
free cookies people may overindulge forgetting they may be high in calories
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Thank you I am not very hungry. Anyway, um, this friend of mine,
|
|
George, got engaged .</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: How wonderful.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Yeah, yeah, well, for some reason, um, I just find myself just
|
|
overcome with feelings of jealousy and resentment.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Doesn't it give you any joy to see your friend enter into this
|
|
holiest of unions?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: No, no, no it doesn't. No joy no joy whatsoever. Just the whole
|
|
think makes me . . sick.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: You know, Elaine, very often we cannot see the forest for the
|
|
trees.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Yeah, I don't know what that means.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Well, for example, say there's a forest, . . . </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You see the thing is we It should have been me. You know, I'm
|
|
smart. I'm attractive.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: You know my temple has many single functions.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: No, no, it's okay.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: My nephew Alex is someone who is also looking perhaps …</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I don't think so.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: He owns a flower store. Very successful. </p>
|
|
<p>[Outside Coffee shop]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: So you're nothing but a stoolie. Admit it.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Another Caf Latte?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: You better believe it.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Since when are you so trendy?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hey, baby. I set the trends. Who do you think started this whole
|
|
Caf Latte?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I don't recall you drinking Caf Latte.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I've been drinking Caf Latte since the fifth grade and I haven't
|
|
looked back. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hey, Planet 9 From Outer Space is playing tomorrow night. One
|
|
show only.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I've always wanted to see this.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You know I was supposed to see this five years ago. I was in a
|
|
Chinese restaurant with George and Elaine and got all screwed up trying
|
|
to get a table and I missed it.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Well, yeah, lets do it uh?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Look at this Jerry, dropping paper on the ground. That's littering.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Maybe you better call the cops and turn me in.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Maybe I will. </p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>[George's]</p>
|
|
<p>George: Hi, </p>
|
|
<p>Susan: How was your day?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Good, good day. How was your day? </p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Mine was okay. So what's goin' on?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh, nothin' much. I went over to jerry's, uh, talked to Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Oh, the Lowers want to get together with us on Friday night.</p>
|
|
<p>George: The Lowers, really?</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: You don't want to go?<br>
|
|
George: No, I want to go.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: So what did Jerry have to say?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh, nothin' much, . . . talkin'. . . . Oh, oh, oh, did I have
|
|
an unbelievable idea today! </p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Oh, yeah, the toilets. You told me.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah, ha ha, It's not the toilets, it's not the toilets. It's
|
|
something else. Are you ready for this?</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Okay, how about this? All right, we get married March 21st, the
|
|
first day of Spring.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: What do you mean? You want to postpone the wedding?</p>
|
|
<p>George: No, no no it's not about postponing. I just think the first day
|
|
of Spring is the perfect day to get married. You know, Spring! Rejuvenation!
|
|
Rebirth! Everything is blooming all the …</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: If you don't want to marry me, George, just say so. [crying] Say
|
|
so.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Still marry , still marry.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: You don't love me.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Sstill love. Still love.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: My parents told me you were too neurotic and that I was making
|
|
a mistake.</p>
|
|
<p>George: No no no, no mistake, no mistake. No, no , listen, we're going
|
|
to get married over Christmas, I …It doesn't make any difference
|
|
to me. It's fine. Really.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Are you sure?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah, yeah, sure, Christmas. Snow. Santa. All that stuff.</p>
|
|
<p>[Monk's]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Let me take a guess. She cried and you caved.</p>
|
|
<p>George: How did you know that?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I live and breathe my friend. . . . I live and breathe.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I got to tell you I felt terrible. I really thought she was going
|
|
to collapse and kill herself.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: tes, it's very difficult. Few men have the constitution for it.
|
|
That's why breakups take two or three tries. You gotta build up your immunity.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>George: You see those tears streaming down you don't know what to do.
|
|
It was like she was on fire and I was trying to put her out. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well, at least you probably had some, uh, pretty good make-up
|
|
sex after.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I didn't have any sex.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex?
|
|
I mean that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.</p>
|
|
<p>George: I didn't have make-up sex.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: In your situation the only sex you're going to have better than
|
|
make-up sex is if you're dent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah, conjugal visit sex. That is happening! </p>
|
|
<p>Woman: [crying]</p>
|
|
<p>Man: I can tell you're very upset but I'm sorry I'm not goin'</p>
|
|
<p>George: Did you here that? I can't believe this he's eating his sandwich.</p>
|
|
<p>Man: Are you going to eat thoise fries?</p>
|
|
<p>George: This is amazing. [George gets up to leave and shake's man's hand]
|
|
Thank you. Thank you very much. . . . I'm going back in! . . . You'll
|
|
feel better [to woman]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: . . . Poor bastard.</p>
|
|
<p>[Outside Elaine's]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Good evening, Rabbi.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Good evening. And how does this evening find you?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Well, Rabbi, well.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: I trust you are here to see your friend, Elaine.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yeah, that's right.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: I hope she's feeling better.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: What do you mean?</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: She didn't tell you?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: No.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Well it seems the engagement of her ffriend George has left her
|
|
feeling bitter and hostile.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: is that so? </p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Yes, in fact she told me that she wishes she was the one getting
|
|
married.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Really?</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: She came off as pretty desperate.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: I didn't know any of this.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Apparently she doesn't think much of this George fellow either.
|
|
I recall the word loser peppered throughout her conversation. </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Hum, well it all comes as news to me. </p>
|
|
<p>[George's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>G: [enters] Hi.</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Hi, how was your day?</p>
|
|
<p>George: Good, good day. How was your day?</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Ah, it was okay. What's going on? </p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh, nothing much. You know, I went over to Jerry's. Talked to
|
|
Jerry. Um, could I talk to you for a minute? </p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Yeah, sure.</p>
|
|
<p>George: You see this is the thing. . . . [crying] I just feel . . . mumble,
|
|
cry, mumble, . . . I'm scared. You and I together, [cry] </p>
|
|
<p>Susan: George, of course, of course it can wait until march if that is
|
|
what you want.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Yeah?</p>
|
|
<p>Susan: Oh, don't worry your head. Of course.</p>
|
|
<p>George: All right. [smiles behind her back]</p>
|
|
<p>[Elaine's]</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: I've got that magazine article for you.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You iknow I talked to the rabbi outside.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Are you</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Understand you had a little talk with him too.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Yeah, talked earlier.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yes I know, I know. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine:. . . What does that mean?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Nothing, nothing. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: He didn't mention . . . </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yes he did.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: He told you about our conversation?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: We had quite a little chat.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: He told you about . . .</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Yes, about how you're very jealous of George. How you wished it
|
|
was you who were getting married instead of him. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: He told you all that? How could he?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: It didn't take much prodding either, I must say.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Can he do that? </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: He did it.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: But he's a Rabbi! How can a Rabbi have such a big mouth? </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's what's so fascinating. </p>
|
|
<p>[Movie line]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: You better finish your little caf latte there. They won't let
|
|
you in with it.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Why not?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Because they don't allow outside drinks into the movie.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Well that's stupid </p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: That's the rule.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Well, we'll just see if we can't get around that. </p>
|
|
<p>[Kramer puts coffee cup into his pants]</p>
|
|
<p>[Rabbi's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Oh, Elaine. Come in. Come in. So nice to see you again.</p>
|
|
<p>E: Yeah…</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Can I offere you some Kasha Varnishkas? </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: No, no. Listen, Rabbi, I'd like to ask you a question. Why, why
|
|
did you tell my friend Jerry what I talked to you about? </p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Was that a problem for you?<br>
|
|
Elaine: Of course it was a problem for me. . . . You didn't, you didn't
|
|
tell anyone else about this, did you?<br>
|
|
Rabbi: Well, let's see? I seem to recall a conversation with Mrs. Winston
|
|
in 1F. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Mrs. Winston?</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Yes, we were waiting for our mail to arrive and I happened to
|
|
mention to her how you felt that it was never going "to happen"
|
|
for you.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: What about Don Ramsey? You didn't mention anything to him did
|
|
you?</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Don Ramsey?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You know that tall really good looking guy, he lives on the fifth
|
|
floor.</p>
|
|
<p>Rabbi: Oh him! Well this morning I found myself in the elevator with
|
|
him…</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: my god, you didn't.</p>
|
|
<p>[Movie theatre]</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Oh, yow, oow Ah! </p>
|
|
<p>Usher: Hey, hey, what's going on? What just happened here?</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Nothing Nothing. </p>
|
|
<p>Usher: Whatya got? One of those Caf Latte's in your shirt? </p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: I don't have anything. Ask him.</p>
|
|
<p>[ Jerry makes a silent drink gesture]</p>
|
|
<p>Usher: All right, come on Coffee Boy, bring it out.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: What?! </p>
|
|
<p>Usher: Here you go.</p>
|
|
<p>Kramer: Ow</p>
|
|
<p>[Kramer leaves]</p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>Ex; But the whole thing is a mess. He told everyone in the building.
|
|
I met that cute guy on the fifth floor. I mean he could barely bring himself
|
|
to nod.</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: Elaine, if I could say a word here about Jewish people. That man
|
|
in no way represents our ability to take in a nice piece of juicy gossip
|
|
and keep it to ourselves.</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: You didn't say this to George, did you?</p>
|
|
<p>Jerry: No, . . . about how you wish it was YOU who was getting married
|
|
instead of him? Feelings of resentment, hostility?</p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Yeah that! So, . . .</p>
|
|
<p>[George enters]</p>
|
|
<p>George: Hey oh. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: GEORGIE! CONGRATULATIONS! Oh, my god. I haven't seen you since
|
|
it happened. I'm so happy for you.</p>
|
|
<p>George: Alright, thanks a lot. </p>
|
|
<p>Elaine: Oh, come on. You really, really deserve it.</p>
|
|
<p>[Gives George a kiss]</p>
|
|
<p>George: Oh, deserve! I don't know if I deserve...I mean...<br>
|
|
Elaine: Are you kidding? I have seen the changes in you the past couple
|
|
of years. Man, you have grown. You've matured.<br>
|
|
George: Well, I guess I'm getting older.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh! Well, I just think it's wonderful. Honestly! I've gotta run,
|
|
but um, please, please give my best to Susan:.<br>
|
|
George Yeah.<br>
|
|
Elaine My most, just heartfelt congratulations.<br>
|
|
George: Yeah. Thanks. Hey, listen, if you ever get a date, maybe the four
|
|
of us could go out together sometime.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yes! Yes, yes. Sure.<br>
|
|
George: Wait, as a matter of fact, wasn't there some guy in your building
|
|
that you said you liked? He lived up on the fifth floor or something.<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yes. Yes, yes. Yes.<br>
|
|
George: Yeah! Boy, she is something, isn't she?<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, she's something else. Hey, so what happened? Did you hold
|
|
your ground or...uh…<br>
|
|
George: Nope. I wept like a baby.<br>
|
|
Jerry: What?<br>
|
|
George: Well, I started to tell her and then all of the sudden, for some
|
|
reason, I just burst into tears.<br>
|
|
Jerry: You cried?<br>
|
|
George: I bawled uncontrollably. I just poured my guts out. And I'll tell
|
|
you, Jerry:, it was incredible. I never realized how powerful these tears
|
|
are. I could have postponed it another five years if I wanted to.<br>
|
|
Jx,Gx & Kx Hey!<br>
|
|
Jerry: Sorry about that movie-thing. I was joking around.<br>
|
|
Kramer: Sorry? Are you kidding? You did me the biggest favor of my life.
|
|
I spoke to a lawyer, we're suing for millions.<br>
|
|
Jerry: Suing? What for?<br>
|
|
Kramer: The coffee was too hot.<br>
|
|
Jerry: It's supposed to be hot.<br>
|
|
Kramer: Not THAT hot.<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Scene<br>
|
|
[At George's home. He and Susan are in bed watching TV]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Rabbi: [On TV] The prophet Isaah tells us without friends our lives are
|
|
empty and meaningless.<br>
|
|
George: Wait. Whoa! That's the Rabbi: from Elaine's building. I just met
|
|
this guy the other day.<br>
|
|
Rabbi: A young lady I know, let's call her Elaine:, happened to find herself
|
|
overwhelmed with feelings of resentment and hostility for her friend,
|
|
let's call him George:. She felt that George was somewhat of a loser and
|
|
that she was the one who deserved to be married first. She also happened
|
|
to mention to me that her friend had wondered if going to a prostitute
|
|
while you're engaged is considered cheating. His feeling was they're never
|
|
going to see each other again so what's the difference. But that is a
|
|
subject for another sermon. Now, I'd like to close with a psalm.</p>
|
|
<p>[END]<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<p
|
|
align="center"><br>
|
|
</p>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- content -->
|
|
|
|
<div id="navBar">
|
|
|
|
<div id="upperBox">
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
|
|
google_ad_width = 200;
|
|
google_ad_height = 200;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="leftnav"><br />
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
|
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
|
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
|
</div>
|
|
</form>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|