1252 lines
51 KiB
HTML
1252 lines
51 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Summer of George</h1>
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</p>
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<p>Transcribed by
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Juha Auvinen <br>
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============================================================================
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<br>
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Episode #822 -- "The Summer Of George" <br>
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Originally Aired: May 15 1997 <br>
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============================================================================
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<br>
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<br>
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Production Credits: <br>
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Co-Executive Producer..........Peter Mehlman <br>
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Producers........... ..................David Mandel & Andy Ackerman
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& Tim Kaiser & Suzy Mamann Greenberg <br>
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Co-Producer..........................Spike Feresten <br>
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|
Supervising Producers ...........Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer &
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Gregg Kavet & Andy Robin <br>
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Created By .......................... Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld
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<br>
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Written By ........................... Alec Berg & Jeff Schaffer
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<br>
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Directed By .......................... Andy Ackerman <br>
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|
============================================================================
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<br>
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<br>
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Cast: <br>
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Jerry Seinfeld ....................... Jerry Seinfeld <br>
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George Costanza ................. Jason Alexander <br>
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Elaine Benes ........................ Julia Louis-Dreyfus <br>
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Kramer ............................... Michael Richards <br>
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With: <br>
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as herself...............................Raquel Welch <br>
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J. Peterman.........................John O'Hurley <br>
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Sam.....................................Molly Shannon <br>
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Lanette.................................Amanda Peet <br>
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Dugan...................................Joe Urla <br>
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Doctor.................................Victor Raider-Wexler <br>
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Lew.....................................Peter Dennis <br>
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Malcolm...............................Tucker Smallwood <br>
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Walter...................................Wayne Wilderson <br>
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Lyle.......................................Blake Gibbons <br>
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==============================================================================
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<br>
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<br>
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[George and Jerry at a caf terrace] <br>
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<br>
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(Missing the beginning.) <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Nah, you had a good run. Took them to the World Series. <br>
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<br>
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George: I got to give the players most of the credit for that. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Don't sell yourself short. You made all the flight arrangements,
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hotels, busses. <br>
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<br>
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George: No, I don't know who was doing that. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: So, when you actually did work, what it was that you did?
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<br>
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<br>
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George: They had a pastry cart you wouldn't believe. <br>
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<br>
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|
[Waitress (Lanette) comes with drinks] <br>
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<br>
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Lanette: Here you go. Your latt, your cappuccino. <br>
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<br>
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|
[Waitress leaves] <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Maybe I should ask her out? <br>
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<br>
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George: She is a good waitress. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: That's true. Maybe I take her to the Tony's. <br>
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<br>
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George: You're going to the Tony's? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Yeah, I wrote some jokes to the show and they gave me two
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tickets. <br>
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<br>
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George: Why didn't you ask me? I know a million theater jokes. 'What's
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the deal with those guys down in the pit?' <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: They're musicians. That's not a joke. <br>
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<br>
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George: It's a funny observation. <br>
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<br>
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[George reads a letter] <br>
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<br>
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George: Severance package...The Yankees are giving me three months
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full pay for doing nothing. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: They did it for three years. What's another few months. <br>
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<br>
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George: I'm really going to do something with these three months.
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<br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Like what? <br>
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<br>
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George: I'm gonna read a book. From beginning to end. In that order.
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<br>
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<br>
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Jerry: I've always wanted to do that... <br>
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<br>
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George: I'm gonna play frolf. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: You mean golf? <br>
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<br>
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George: Frolf, frisbee golf Jerry. Golf with a frisbee. This is
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gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip
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down my chin. I proclaim this: The Summer<br>
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of George! <br>
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<br>
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[ A bee comes and George has to runaway to inside] <br>
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------------------------------------------------------ <br>
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<br>
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[Elaine's office. She and two co-workers are chatting in a corridor.]
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<br>
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<br>
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Elaine: ...and then Peterman ate it. I never told him. <br>
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<br>
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[A woman comes walking by, with her hands hanging still besides
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her.] <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Who's that? <br>
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<br>
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Dugan: That's Sam, the new girl in the counting. <br>
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<br>
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Walter: What's with her arms? They just hang like salamis. <br>
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<br>
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Dugan: She walks like orangutan. <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Better call the zoo. <br>
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<br>
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Dugan: Reer... <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: What? <br>
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<br>
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Walter: ssssss... <br>
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<br>
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Dugan: Cat-ty... <br>
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|
------------------------------------------------------ <br>
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|
[Jerry's apartment. Jerry and Elaine. George is watching TV.] <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: It's like she's carrying invisible suitcases. <br>
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<br>
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|
Jerry: Like this? [imitates the walk] <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Yes, exactly. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: That's so strange. <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: Right. So why I'm the one who gets 'reer'. You know I mean
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they were being as catty as I was. It's a double standard. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Oh, what about 'ladies night'? Women admitted free before
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10? <br>
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<br>
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Elaine: That is so stupid. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Reer. <br>
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|
<br>
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|
George: Hey, 'The White Shadow' is on... <br>
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<br>
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|
Jerry: Boy, your really packing it all in. <br>
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<br>
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George: Jerry, my vacation just started. I need a day or two to
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de-compress. Besides, I did plenty today. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Like what? <br>
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<br>
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|
George: I bought a new recliner with a fridge build right in to
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it. <br>
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|
<br>
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|
[Kramer enters wearing a bathrobe] <br>
|
|
<br>
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|
Kramer: Hey Jerry, you got any Tums? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Stomach ache? <br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<br>
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|
Kramer: I drank too much water in the shower. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Aah, top of the fridge. Hey George, I'm taking that waitress
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to the Tony's. <br>
|
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<br>
|
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George: Shadow! <br>
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<br>
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Kramer: Oh, the Tony's. I'll see you there buddy. <br>
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<br>
|
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Elaine: You're going to the Tony's too? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Roger that. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Where are you sitting? <br>
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<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, all over the place. Yeah, I'm a seat filler. They
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don't like to see empty seats on TV so when somebody gets up I just
|
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park my kaboos on their spot until they get back. <br>
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|
<br>
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Elaine: How did you get that job? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Mickey, Mickey he hooked me up. He's a member of the academy.
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<br>
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<br>
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Jerry: What academy? <br>
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<br>
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|
Kramer: Well, he didn't say [leaves]. <br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------ <br>
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<br>
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[Jerry comes to pick up Lanette] <br>
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<br>
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|
Lanette: Hi! <br>
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<br>
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|
Jerry: Hi! <br>
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<br>
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Lanette: Nice tuxedo. <br>
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<br>
|
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Jerry: Thanks, it's a breakaway. <br>
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|
<br>
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Lanette: Should we go? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Absolutely. <br>
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<br>
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Lanette: Lyle, were going! Jerry, this is Lyle. <br>
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<br>
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Lyle: Hey, how you doing? <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Ok... <br>
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<br>
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[Lyle and Lanette kiss] <br>
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<br>
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Lanette: Bye. <br>
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<br>
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Lyle: Have a good time. <br>
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<br>
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Jerry: Thanks, Lyle... <br>
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--------------------------------------------------------- <br>
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|
[At the Tony's. Kramer is looking a place to fill. One man stands
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up.] <br>
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<br>
|
|
Kramer: Are you leaving? Cause I got you covered. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[man tries to button his jacket and Kramer squeezes to his seat]
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<br>
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<br>
|
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Kramer: I'll just squeeze in... <br>
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<br>
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Man: What are you doing? <br>
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<br>
|
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Kramer: My job. What are you doing? <br>
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<br>
|
|
[Kramer looks at the woman next to him] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: You know, if they catch two of us on TV, you got some explaining
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|
to do. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Same time Jerry and the waitress are sitting elsewhere.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: So, you and Lyle are roommates? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: No. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Gay? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Is he gay? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: No. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Are you sure? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: I think I would know. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry to himself: This is a new one. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer to woman next to him: Pemmican turkey? Come on take a bite...well
|
|
more for me. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer takes a bite and hits the man in front of him in the head.
|
|
Then points the blame to lady next to him.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Announcer: ...and the best musical award goes to: Scarsdale surprise!
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[People around Kramer stand up and roll on to the stage taking Kramer
|
|
with them.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George is at home watching the show on TV and takes a soda out
|
|
of his new recliner.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Kramer? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[TV shows the producers and Kramer accepting the award on stage.]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham on TV: Thank you and God bless you all. This has truly
|
|
been a Scarsdale surprise! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
[At Monk's. Elaine and Sam.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: Elaine, am I crazy? I just get the feeling that Dugan and the
|
|
others are making fun of me all the time. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, You might wanna think about...maybe, eh...moving your
|
|
arms a little when you walk. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: My arms? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: You know, sort of swing them, so your not lurching around
|
|
like a caveman. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: I a caveman? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: No no no no, it's just... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: Everybody told what a catty shrude you are. Your horrible!
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
[5A. Jerry and George.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: She had a dude? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah, when I went to pick her up there was this dude. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: How do you know it was her dude? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What do you think it could've been just some dude? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Sure, dudes in this town are dime a dozen. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I reckon. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Or maybe, she just wanted to go to the Tony's. I tell you
|
|
what; you ask her out again. No Tony, just Jerry. That way you know
|
|
it he was her dude or just<br>
|
|
some dude. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Dude! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[They make a high five.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: All right, that's enough. I gotta go home and take a nap.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: It's 10:30 in the morning? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I tell you; I'm wiped. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: So, has the summer of George already started or are you still
|
|
de-composing? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: De-compressing. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer enters wearing a tuxedo and carrying a Tony statue.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Whooa, good morning gentleman and Tony says hello to you.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You didn't give that thing back? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Jerry, it was a whirlwind. They whisked us backstage, the
|
|
media is sworming, champagne is flowing...whooo! I can't describe
|
|
how great it is to win. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: That's because you didn't win. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: 'Scarsdale surprise'. That's the musical about that Scarsdale
|
|
diet doctor murder. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Featuring the mind-blowing performance of Ms. Raquel Welch!
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You haven't even seen it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
Kramer: Aah, Jerry I'm not gonna let you bring me down from this
|
|
high. I've been partying all night. I saw the sunrise at Liza's!
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: What, Minelli's!?! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: No. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Elaine's office. She is at her desk talking to Sam.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Sam, listen I'm so sorry about the other day. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: No, don't apologize Elaine. I was thinking that maybe I should
|
|
swing my arms a little bit more. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: See, yeah, that's all I was saying. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: How's this [Sam hits a pen case out of the table], or this
|
|
[swings a paper holder of the table and starts to clear the table
|
|
left and right]. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, you seem to be getting a hang of it... <br>
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry is picking up Lanette again. She opens the door wearing a
|
|
towel.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hi! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Sorry, I'm running late. I just lost track of time. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No rush. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Lyle walks by wearing a towel.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lyle: Hey, Jerry! What's up? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry to himself: I have absolutely no idea. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
[5A. Jerry is on the phone with George who is at home.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
(missing the beginning) <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: ..except that the dude plays the showroom and I'm stuck doing
|
|
food and beveridged! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer comes in with the Tony.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Who's that? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: It's Kramer. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Hey Kramer. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: George says hi. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer shouts to the telephone: Hi George! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: How's that Tony? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Why don't you just come over? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Why can't we do this on the phone? What's Kramer doing now?
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: He's looking on to fridgerator. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Kramer. Anything good in there? Any Popsicles? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I can't do this. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: So, what's George doing? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: He's not doing anything. Goodbye! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: So listen, I'm going to crab a bite to eat at Sardi's. You
|
|
wanna go? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Are you taking the Tony to Sardi's? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: The Tony is taking me to Sardi's. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Knock on the door. Jerry opens and it's Lanette.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh, hello. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: I'm going. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Congratulations! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh, thank you, thank you so much. I have so many people
|
|
I want to thank and don't want to forget anyone... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right, all right. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Phone rings and Jerry answers.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I said no! [hangs up the phone.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Jerry, I just want to let you know; Lyle and I are completely
|
|
over. I'd rather be with you. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Just me? No dudes or fellas? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: What you think? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I can start right away. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Phone rings again.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: But not here. [They leave.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry's answering machine: 'I'm not here, leave a message.' <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George on the answering machine: Jerry, what's happening? Come on,
|
|
pick up the phone. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
[At Sardi's. Kramer is sitting with a group of people.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: ...so I said to him: Arthur, Artie come on, why does the
|
|
salesman have to die? Change the title; The life of a salesman.
|
|
That's what people want to see. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: Mr. Kramer, my name is Lewis Maxton Graham. I'm one
|
|
of the producers of 'Scarsdale surprise'. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Hey, eh, Lew! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: We need to talk. <br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Elaine is talking to Peterman at her office.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Peterman: Elaine, what did you want to talk me about? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: This. My office. Sam trashed my office. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Peterman: Well, I see what's going on in here. I am smack dab in
|
|
the middle of a good old fashioned cat fight. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Mr. Petermen, this is not a cat fight. This is violent psychotic
|
|
behavior directed at me all because are told her to swing her arms.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Peterman: Woof! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Do you mean "reer?" <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Petermen: Yes, that's the one! Good day Elaine. [Leaves.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Oh, no please Mr. Peterman, she's crazy! [Sam walks by and
|
|
Elaine starts to sing] Crazy for feelings... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
[At Monk's. Jerry and Lanette.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I can't believe how much we did this afternoon. I have friends
|
|
who this would've be their whole life. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Now, what time are you picking me up tonight? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Eh, what? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: You got our reservation from Sfuzi's, didn't you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Oh yeah, Sfuzi? I- I've gotta do that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Should I ware the outfit I bought today? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Sure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Which one? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: The one with the...[mumbles.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: If I wanna get my hair cut I've gotta go now. Call me when
|
|
you get home. I wont be there, but leave a message so I know you
|
|
called. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Ok, ok... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Do you mind? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No, I'll crab it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Lanette leaves and Jerry bangs his head to the table. George walks
|
|
in.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Hey, I've done that today. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What, did you lose your remote? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
George: Nah, the cable's out. What's with you? You look dead. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: It's Lanette! I need an assistant or intern or something.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: [Laughs] Relationship intern...hey, what if two of us teamed
|
|
up? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Not. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: No, no... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No, because that's... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: No, listen; we are always sitting here, I am always helping
|
|
you with your girl problems and you are helping me with my girl
|
|
problems. Where do we end up? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Here. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Exactly! Because neither one of us can't handle a woman
|
|
all by ourselves. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I'm trying. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I've tried. We don't have it. But maybe the two of us, working
|
|
together at full capacity, could do the job of one normal man. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Then each of us would only have be like a half man. That
|
|
sounds about right! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer at Sardi's, talking with two producers.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: I'm sure how excited you are to have this very very
|
|
prestigious award. But you didn't have anything to do with the actual
|
|
production. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: No. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: I don't think there's no way how we can allow you to
|
|
keep this Tony. Unless... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Anything... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Malcolm: Are you familiar with our star, Raquel Welch? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh yeah, she's fantastic.... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: She's a train wreck. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Malcolm: There's a big tap dance number just before Jean Harris
|
|
leaves the (?) school to confront Dr Tarnover. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: It is a gut wrenching scene. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Malcolm: But, Raquel Welch doesn't move her arms when she tap dances.
|
|
It's very distracting. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Mr. Graham: There's lot of this [swings his arms] in tap dancing.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: So, you'd like me to teach how to dance? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Malcolm: No, we want you to fire her. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
---------------------------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
[5A. Jerry and Kramer.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Why they want you to fire Raquel Welch? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Because they're terrified of her. I heard from someone that
|
|
when they cut one of her lines, she climbed up the rope on side
|
|
of the stage and started dropping<br>
|
|
lights on peoples heads. Story like that has got to be true. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: She seems very nice. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Jerry, you're not in show business. You don't know what
|
|
these people are like. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I'm in show business. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Oh, come on! What am I gonna do? She's going to eat me alive.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I've got a tape of 'Fantastic voyage' if you think that would
|
|
help. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Yayaya... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Elaine enters.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Jerry, that crazy straight-armed woman down at Peterman's
|
|
trashed my office. And then listen to this; this is message she
|
|
left me. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Takes a tape recorder and plays the tape.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam's voice: Elaine...I am going to find you. If not in your office
|
|
then in the xerox room or the little conference room near to the
|
|
kitchen... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: She must've got a blueprint of the building or something.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Did you tell Peterman about this? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Well, I tried, but he thought it was some sort of cat fight.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Cat fight? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Ok, why? Why do guys do this? What is so appealing to men
|
|
about a cat fight? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Yeye cat fight! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each
|
|
other there's a chance they might somehow kiss. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: T-t-t-t... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry and George are walking down the street.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: You got the tickets? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah, two for the 7:15 of Novaj pravas (?). What you're
|
|
wearing the green sweater? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I like it. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: She doesn't like. Here is your blue one, it's her favorite.
|
|
[Takes sweater out of his bag.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Just put it on! All right now, remember she had her nails
|
|
done today so remark how you like the color. And if you need me
|
|
you beep me, all right. Here you<br>
|
|
go, hey, hey, hey, hey...[sprays Binaca into Jerry's mouth.] Go
|
|
get'em you're a tiger! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Hey George, one second, she's having a party friday night
|
|
and she wants me to take care of the invitations. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: A little notice would've helped! How many people? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: 35, and George, on the invitations... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I know, I know...don't skimp. Go go go go... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry leaves and Lanette joins him.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Right on time, I like that. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I like your nails, that is a great color. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Love the sweater. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: This old thing? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
----------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George is getting the invitations, Melody Stationers.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Hi, I need some party invitations. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Clerk: Okay, have you been in here before? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: About a year ago. Wedding invitations. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Clerk: Right, how did that all work out? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: No complaints. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Clerk: Well, they are arranged according the price. And as I recall...[she
|
|
flips the sample book all the way to the end.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Actually, [George flips the book back to the beginning]
|
|
I'll take these nice glossy ones. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
--------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Majestic theater, Raquel Welch's dressing room.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: "You are a fraud Dr Tarnover. You haven't even been
|
|
to Scarsdale." <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer knocks on the door and enters.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Ms. Welch. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd04 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
Raquel: Who are you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, I'm Cosmo Kramer, I'm one of the producers. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Phone rings and Raquel answers.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: Hello, Sidney! No, no I told you I don't want to do that!
|
|
If you bring it up again I will feed your genitals to a wolf! [hangs
|
|
up] Kids! You're still here. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, I- I Ms. Welch I do need to talk to you about a little
|
|
problem regarding, eh, your performance. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Raquel kicks a chair out of her way.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: What kind of problem? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, it seems that due to the vagaries of the production
|
|
parameters of this fragmenting of the audience to the cable television,
|
|
carnivals, water parks... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: Out with it! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, you're fired because you don't move your arms when
|
|
you tap dance, you're like a gorilla out there I've gotta go...
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Kramer runs out, but Raquel grabs him from the back.] <br>
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George walks at the park with the invitations. A frisbee flies
|
|
to his feet.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Guy: Little help? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Hey, frolf? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Guy: Yeah, you know we need a fourth for the back nine. You want
|
|
in? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George looks up and sees Jerry on the other side and frisbee on
|
|
the other. Jerry says: "What's the deal with airplane peanuts?"]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah, sure. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Guy: Ok, come on. <br>
|
|
------------------------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
[Jerry is at Lanette's apartment. They are both wearing a towel.]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Ok, let's towel it up. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Jerry, where are those invitations you were supposed to
|
|
get? If they don't go out today they're useless. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: But we're in towels. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette: Jerry. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: all right. One second. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Picks up the phone.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George runs up the stairs] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: He frolfs, he scores...[he drops one invitation on the stairs.]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George comes to his apartment and picks up the phone.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Hello. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: George, where are those invitations? You were supposed to
|
|
leave them with her doorman! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Lanette comes by: Did you shave your chest hair? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: No. [Lanette leaves.] Did you at least pick them up? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Yeah, the super glossy. The best they had. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Ok, get them over here pronto. We're in towels here George.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: All right, All right, keep your towel on. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry:...what? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: It's a joke. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: All right, that's not bad. Now get over here! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George leaves from his apartment and comes down the stairs. He
|
|
slips on an invitation and falls on his back.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
-------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Elaine is on the street and plays a tape to two police officers.]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam's voice on the tape:...if not in your apartment then in the
|
|
laundry room or the ATM in the building across the street or the
|
|
watch shop! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Can't you do anything about this? I mean this woman is a
|
|
psycho! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Cop#1: 'Reer.' <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Look, just because I'm a woman... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Cop#2: 'Mauau.' <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Cop#1: 'Meeow.' <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
--- <br>
|
|
[Raquel Welch walks down the street.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: I don't move my arms when I dance. That's my signature!
|
|
<br>
|
|
--- <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Would you just keep an eye out for this woman. She's about
|
|
ye high and eh, she doesn't swing her arms when she walks. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Cop#1: What do you mean? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Like this...[imitates the walk with her arms hanging.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Raquel Welch comes towards her.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: What the hell is that? Are you making fun of my dancing?
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Aren't you Raquel Welch? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: You know who I am. Now, what are you doing? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Nothing, I wasn't just moving my arms... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Raquel: That's it, you are going down. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Cop#1: Ooh, cat fight. <br>
|
|
---------------------------------------------------- <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[The New York Hospital. Jerry and Kramer.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: So how's George? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I don't know. They don't tell me anything. What's that? [Kramer
|
|
holds a broken Tony] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Tony. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What happened to you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Raquel Welch! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yikes. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Elaine comes. She has a scars on her face.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: What happened to you? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Raquel Welch! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: The woman is a menace. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Yeah, I bumped in to her on the street. It got pretty ugly.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Cat fight with Raquel Welch. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Yey eye ca-catfight. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George is wheeled in on a hospital bed.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: My god, George! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: I slipped on the invitations...how's the towels? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Back on the rack. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: With the two of us? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: I think we're still a man short. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Doctor comes.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Doctor: Mr. Costanza. ..your legs have sustained extensive trauma.
|
|
Apparently your body was in the state of advanced atrophy, due to
|
|
a period of extreme inactivity.<br>
|
|
But with a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck, I think there's
|
|
a good chance you may, one day, walk again. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Doctor leaves.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Well, that's good news. <br>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd05 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: Wow, invitations again... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: Yeah, that's weird. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Elaine: All right, well...you want to grab some coffee? <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Jerry: Yeah... <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Kramer: I'd like to get some coffee. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[Jerry, Kramer and Elaine leave.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: This was supposed to be 'The summer of George'! The summer
|
|
of George. <br>
|
|
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George is at the hospital physical therapy, trying to walk, leaning
|
|
on parallel bars. Next to him, Sam tries to walk with swinging her
|
|
arms.] <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Therapist: Now, swing them...swing...swing them, just swing them.
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
Sam: I can't do it. It's hard! <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
[George is at end of the bars and falls down. He tries to get up.]
|
|
<br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
George: Still a little summer left. <br>
|
|
<br>
|
|
====================================================================================<br>
|
|
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