445 lines
22 KiB
HTML
445 lines
22 KiB
HTML
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<h1>The Wait Out</h1>
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</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
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Written by: Matt Selman and Peter Mehlman</p>
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<p>Directed by: Andy Ackerman</p>
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<p>Broadcasted: May 9th, 1996 for the first time.</p>
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<p>Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, </p>
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<p>Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Cary Elwes (as David), Debra</p>
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<p>Messing (as Beth), and Heidi Swedberg (as Susan).</p>
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<p> </p>
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<p>[Setting: The Coffee Shop]</p>
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<p>(Elaine and Jerry are sitting across from each other in a booth)</p>
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<p>JERRY: New hairdo?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (Looking up from a menu) Yeah.</p>
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<p>JERRY: You look like Brenda Starr.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Is that good?</p>
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<p>JERRY: It's better than Dondi.</p>
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<p>(Elaine laughs, then draws her attention to a table across the
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room)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Hey, my God, look at that. (Jerry looks over at the table.
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A man and a woman are dining) David and Beth Lookner. (Leaning in
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for confidentiality) You</p>
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<p>know, I heard a rumor their marriage was a little rocky.</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Interested, still looking at the couple) Really?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Mm-hmm.</p>
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<p>JERRY: You know, I have a little thing for Beth Lookner.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Well, I have to admit, I've always thought David was kind
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of sponge-worthy. (Winks, making a clicking sound with her tongue)</p>
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<p>JERRY: Yeah.. I've been waitin' out their marriage for three years.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Yeah, me too. Well, I've been waiting out two or three
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marriages, but this is the one I really had my eye on.</p>
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<p>(George enters, somewhat annoyed. He's gesturing to the parking
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lot)</p>
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<p>GEORGE: This car out there is taking up, like, three parking spaces.</p>
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<p>(Jerry moves over, making room for George to sit)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh, (Laughs at George's misfortune) that's mine.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: You have a car?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Well, my friend, Alyse, lent it to me for the week. She's
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out of town.</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Noting) You know, I've never seen you drive.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Me either.</p>
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<p>(David and Beth Lookner, on their way out, approach the booth)</p>
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<p>BETH: (Unsure as to whether it's him or not) Jerry? Elaine, Hi!</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (Overly generous) Hi, David!</p>
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<p>JERRY: Hi, Beth!</p>
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<p>BETH: Oh, uh, George, (Introducing to two) this is my husband,
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David.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Oh, hi.. (They shake hands)</p>
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<p>DAVID: Hello. So, George, uh, you're the one who works for the
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Yankees, right?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah. Why, what do you do?</p>
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<p>DAVID: Well, I sell insurance, but Beth used to be Don Mattingly's
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doctor.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Really?</p>
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<p>BETH: Mm-hm.</p>
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<p>DAVID: Yeah.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (Laughs slightly) A physician married to a salesman. (Chuckles)
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Well, I gotta tell you, Beth, you coulda done a lot better than
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him.</p>
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<p>(George and Elaine both laugh out loud. Beth and David look at
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each other, taking in the awkward moment)</p>
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<p>(Scene ends)</p>
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<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
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<p>(Jerry's in the kitchen. Kramer slides in, followed by Mickey.
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Mickey's reading a script)</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Hey!</p>
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<p>JERRY: Hey. Hey, Mickey. What's going on?</p>
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<p>MICKEY: I'm very nervous. I'm auditioning to be in the Actor's
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Studio tonight.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Really?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: It's a method, Jerry. It's intense. (Clicks his tongue)</p>
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<p>MICKEY: Kramer's going to be my scene partner.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Kramer?</p>
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<p>MICKEY: He doesn't have to say anything, he just has to sit there.
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I'm playing a detective.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Yeah, and I'm playing a business man accused of murder.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Ohh boy. Well, I gotta meet Elaine and run some errands.
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So.. (Goes for his coat)</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (Fixing up his pants) Yeah.. look at this, Mickey. These
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pants are fallin' apart, huh?</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Fishing for his keys in a kitchen drawer) You know, when
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I first met you, Kramer, you used to wear jeans all the time.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (Looking over Mickey's shoulder at the script) Yeah, well,
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I was a different man then.</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Jokingly playing off Kramer's statement) With a different
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body.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (Slightly offended) Hey, I got the body of a.. taught,
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pre-teen, Swedish boy.</p>
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<p>(Mickey visibly rolls his eyes)</p>
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<p>JERRY: Ehh, I dunno..</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Now, what are you thinkin'? (Getting upset) You think that
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I'm not able to wear jeans anymore? Is that what you're sayin'?
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Because if that's what you're</p>
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<p>sayin', Jerry, I'll go and I'll buy some jeans. (Jerry shrugs.
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Kramer raises his voice to a menacing tone) I swear to God I will!
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(Jerry's showing off a skeptical face.</p>
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<p>Kramer points a finger at him) Don't think I won't, Jerry! </p>
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<p>(Scene ends)</p>
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<p>[Setting: Elaine's car]</p>
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<p>(Elaine is obviously an incredibly bad driver. Jerry, in the passenger's
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seat, looks car sick)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: God, it is so great to drive again. I miss it so much!
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(Suddenly swerves to the right, then yells out of her window) How
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about a left turn signal, ya moron?!</p>
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<p>(Looks ahead, then breaks suddenly) Woah..</p>
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<p>JERRY: (His thoughts) I'm so nauseous. She's the worst driver.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: You know what? On my first road test, I hit a dog. (Jerry
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nods, blinking) I think it was a golden retriever. No, no, no, it
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was a - it was a yellow lab. (Picks</p>
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<p>up the car phone) I'm gonna check my messages. (Begins to dial
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as she pulls up to a pedestrian crosswalk. She stops right before
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hitting a man crossing the street)</p>
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<p>MAN: Hey!</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Once again, the audience hears his thoughts) I'm so car
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sick. I'm gonna vomit!</p>
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<p>(Elaine's expression changes as she's listening to her messages)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh my God! Jerry! My friend, Kim called - David and Beth
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got separated last night!</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Out of it) Huh?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: They're gettin' divorced! (Quickly breaks, stopping traffic)</p>
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<p>(Scene ends)</p>
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<p>[Setting: Monk's coffee shop]</p>
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<p>(Elaine and Jerry sitting across from each other in a booth)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: So, now, what is our move? What do we do?</p>
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<p>JERRY: I don't know, but we don't have much time.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (Agreeing) Mm.</p>
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<p>JERRY: The city's probably teeming with people who've been waiting
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out that marriage.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Right.</p>
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<p>JERRY: It's like when someone dies in a rent controlled building
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- you gotta take immediate action.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Yeeah, but David and Beth are going to need their grieving
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time.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Their grieving time is a luxury I can't afford. I'm calling
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Beth tonight, and if you want a clean shot at David, I suggest you
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do likewise.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (Nodding) Yeah, yeah..</p>
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<p>JERRY: But we gotta make it seem like we're not calling for dates.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Then why are we calling?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Good question. (More to himself than to Elaine) Why are
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we calling?</p>
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<p>(Both start chanting "why are we calling..", thinking
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deeply)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (Loud) Oh! (Jerry has a surprised look) I've got it! I've
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got it! We're calling just to say, "I'm there for you."</p>
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<p>JERRY: (Nodding, trying it out) "I'm there for you."</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Then, after a period of being "there for you",
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we slowly remove the two words "for you", and we're just
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(Makes a "ta-da!" gesture) "there".</p>
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<p>(Scene ends)</p>
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<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
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<p>(George enters)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Hey.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Hey, remember Beth and David from yesterday? They got separated.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Really? (Realizes) Well, you don't think it had anything
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to do with what I said, do you?</p>
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<p>JERRY: What'd you say?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: You know, that, that thing about her being too good for
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him. I mean, I was just bein' folksy. They could tell I was just
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being folksy..?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Yeah, I thought you were being folksy.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Totally folksy.</p>
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<p>(Kramer enters wearing a new pair of jeans. They're obviously way
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too small. Unable to bend his knees, he walks awkwardly into the
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room. Elaine, Jerry, and</p>
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<p>George are speechless - staring at him. Kramer walks past them,
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and attempts to pick a magazine off the table, but does so with
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great difficulty. Jerry starts to laugh</p>
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<p>as Kramer throws the magazine back down)</p>
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<p>JERRY: hey, uh.. (Kramer walks around a little) what'd you get
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there?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Uh, yeah, I bought Dungarees.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Kramer, they're painted on!</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Well, they're slim-fit.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Slim-fit?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (Talking fast) Yeah, they're streamlined.</p>
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<p>JERRY: You're walkin' like Frankenstein!</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (Making his way toward the door) What? They just gotta
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be worked in a little bit, that's all. (Pulling the door shut behind
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him) Alright, see you later.</p>
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<p>(Everyone stares after him)</p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>(Scene ends)</p>
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<p>[Setting: Elaine's apartment]</p>
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<p>(Sitting up on her bed, she's on the phone with David Lookner)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (Mock sympathy) Well.. David, it happens.</p>
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<p>(Scene cuts to Jerry - he's on the phone with Beth)</p>
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<p>JERRY: Sure, Beth, these things happen. (Brief pause) So, have
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you told many.. people yet?</p>
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<p>(Scene jumps back to Elaine)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Because it's really nobody's business.</p>
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<p>(Back to Jerry)</p>
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<p>JERRY: Anyway, I just called to tell you that, I'm there for you.</p>
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<p>(Cut back to Elaine)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: "There" is, um.. anywhere you want me to be..</p>
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<p>(Back to Jerry)</p>
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<p>JERRY: Sure, dinner would be fine.</p>
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<p>(Back to Elaine)</p>
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<p>ELAINE: And I could just be there. (Adding) For you.</p>
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<p>(Scene takes a final cut back to Jerry. Kramer enters, still in
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his pants, as Jerry hangs up. Kramer's frantic)</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Jerry, you gotta help me!</p>
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<p>JERRY: What's wrong?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: I can't get my pants off, and Mickey's audition is in twenty
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minutes! You know, I'm supposed to be a business man, I gotta be
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in costume!</p>
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<p>JERRY: Alright, alright. Uh, undo them. I'll help you get them
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off.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: (Bracing himself on a bar stool) Yeah, I already did it.
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It won't come off. The zipper's suck..</p>
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<p>NOT YET FINISHED.</p>
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<p>
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</ul>
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<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
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<p> </p>
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</div>
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<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
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<script type="text/javascript"><!--
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google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
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/* html-nav_bar-tower */
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google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
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google_ad_width = 160;
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google_ad_height = 600;
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//-->
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</script>
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<script type='text/javascript'>
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if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
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document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
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}
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</script>
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<p ></p>
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<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
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<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
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<script type="text/javascript">
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var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
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var bannerSize = 2300;
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var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
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var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
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if (pageType!="SALE" ){
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if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
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for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
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document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
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document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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}
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</script>
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</div>
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<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
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<!--
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function noSpam(user,domain) {
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locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
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window.location = locationstring;
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}
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-->
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</script>
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<div class="footer">
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<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
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<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
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</div>
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</div>
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<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
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<script type='text/javascript'>
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var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
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var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
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</script>
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<script type='text/javascript'>
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if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
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document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
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}
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</script>
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<script type="text/javascript">
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var _gaq = _gaq || [];
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_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
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_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
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(function() {
|
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var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
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ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
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})();
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</script></body>
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<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
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