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<h1>The Wait Out</h1>
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Written by: Matt Selman and Peter Mehlman</p>
<p>Directed by: Andy Ackerman</p>
<p>Broadcasted: May 9th, 1996 for the first time.</p>
<p>Stars: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards, </p>
<p>Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Cary Elwes (as David), Debra</p>
<p>Messing (as Beth), and Heidi Swedberg (as Susan).</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>[Setting: The Coffee Shop]</p>
<p>(Elaine and Jerry are sitting across from each other in a booth)</p>
<p>JERRY: New hairdo?</p>
<p>ELAINE: (Looking up from a menu) Yeah.</p>
<p>JERRY: You look like Brenda Starr.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Is that good?</p>
<p>JERRY: It's better than Dondi.</p>
<p>(Elaine laughs, then draws her attention to a table across the
room)</p>
<p>ELAINE: Hey, my God, look at that. (Jerry looks over at the table.
A man and a woman are dining) David and Beth Lookner. (Leaning in
for confidentiality) You</p>
<p>know, I heard a rumor their marriage was a little rocky.</p>
<p>JERRY: (Interested, still looking at the couple) Really?</p>
<p>ELAINE: Mm-hmm.</p>
<p>JERRY: You know, I have a little thing for Beth Lookner.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Well, I have to admit, I've always thought David was kind
of sponge-worthy. (Winks, making a clicking sound with her tongue)</p>
<p>JERRY: Yeah.. I've been waitin' out their marriage for three years.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, me too. Well, I've been waiting out two or three
marriages, but this is the one I really had my eye on.</p>
<p>(George enters, somewhat annoyed. He's gesturing to the parking
lot)</p>
<p>GEORGE: This car out there is taking up, like, three parking spaces.</p>
<p>(Jerry moves over, making room for George to sit)</p>
<p>ELAINE: Oh, (Laughs at George's misfortune) that's mine.</p>
<p>GEORGE: You have a car?</p>
<p>ELAINE: Well, my friend, Alyse, lent it to me for the week. She's
out of town.</p>
<p>JERRY: (Noting) You know, I've never seen you drive.</p>
<p>GEORGE: Me either.</p>
<p>(David and Beth Lookner, on their way out, approach the booth)</p>
<p>BETH: (Unsure as to whether it's him or not) Jerry? Elaine, Hi!</p>
<p>ELAINE: (Overly generous) Hi, David!</p>
<p>JERRY: Hi, Beth!</p>
<p>BETH: Oh, uh, George, (Introducing to two) this is my husband,
David.</p>
<p>GEORGE: Oh, hi.. (They shake hands)</p>
<p>DAVID: Hello. So, George, uh, you're the one who works for the
Yankees, right?</p>
<p>GEORGE: Yeah. Why, what do you do?</p>
<p>DAVID: Well, I sell insurance, but Beth used to be Don Mattingly's
doctor.</p>
<p>GEORGE: Really?</p>
<p>BETH: Mm-hm.</p>
<p>DAVID: Yeah.</p>
<p>GEORGE: (Laughs slightly) A physician married to a salesman. (Chuckles)
Well, I gotta tell you, Beth, you coulda done a lot better than
him.</p>
<p>(George and Elaine both laugh out loud. Beth and David look at
each other, taking in the awkward moment)</p>
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
<p>(Jerry's in the kitchen. Kramer slides in, followed by Mickey.
Mickey's reading a script)</p>
<p>KRAMER: Hey!</p>
<p>JERRY: Hey. Hey, Mickey. What's going on?</p>
<p>MICKEY: I'm very nervous. I'm auditioning to be in the Actor's
Studio tonight.</p>
<p>JERRY: Really?</p>
<p>KRAMER: It's a method, Jerry. It's intense. (Clicks his tongue)</p>
<p>MICKEY: Kramer's going to be my scene partner.</p>
<p>JERRY: Kramer?</p>
<p>MICKEY: He doesn't have to say anything, he just has to sit there.
I'm playing a detective.</p>
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, and I'm playing a business man accused of murder.</p>
<p>JERRY: Ohh boy. Well, I gotta meet Elaine and run some errands.
So.. (Goes for his coat)</p>
<p>KRAMER: (Fixing up his pants) Yeah.. look at this, Mickey. These
pants are fallin' apart, huh?</p>
<p>JERRY: (Fishing for his keys in a kitchen drawer) You know, when
I first met you, Kramer, you used to wear jeans all the time.</p>
<p>KRAMER: (Looking over Mickey's shoulder at the script) Yeah, well,
I was a different man then.</p>
<p>JERRY: (Jokingly playing off Kramer's statement) With a different
body.</p>
<p>KRAMER: (Slightly offended) Hey, I got the body of a.. taught,
pre-teen, Swedish boy.</p>
<p>(Mickey visibly rolls his eyes)</p>
<p>JERRY: Ehh, I dunno..</p>
<p>KRAMER: Now, what are you thinkin'? (Getting upset) You think that
I'm not able to wear jeans anymore? Is that what you're sayin'?
Because if that's what you're</p>
<p>sayin', Jerry, I'll go and I'll buy some jeans. (Jerry shrugs.
Kramer raises his voice to a menacing tone) I swear to God I will!
(Jerry's showing off a skeptical face.</p>
<p>Kramer points a finger at him) Don't think I won't, Jerry! </p>
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
<p>[Setting: Elaine's car]</p>
<p>(Elaine is obviously an incredibly bad driver. Jerry, in the passenger's
seat, looks car sick)</p>
<p>ELAINE: God, it is so great to drive again. I miss it so much!
(Suddenly swerves to the right, then yells out of her window) How
about a left turn signal, ya moron?!</p>
<p>(Looks ahead, then breaks suddenly) Woah..</p>
<p>JERRY: (His thoughts) I'm so nauseous. She's the worst driver.</p>
<p>ELAINE: You know what? On my first road test, I hit a dog. (Jerry
nods, blinking) I think it was a golden retriever. No, no, no, it
was a - it was a yellow lab. (Picks</p>
<p>up the car phone) I'm gonna check my messages. (Begins to dial
as she pulls up to a pedestrian crosswalk. She stops right before
hitting a man crossing the street)</p>
<p>MAN: Hey!</p>
<p>JERRY: (Once again, the audience hears his thoughts) I'm so car
sick. I'm gonna vomit!</p>
<p>(Elaine's expression changes as she's listening to her messages)</p>
<p>ELAINE: Oh my God! Jerry! My friend, Kim called - David and Beth
got separated last night!</p>
<p>JERRY: (Out of it) Huh?</p>
<p>ELAINE: They're gettin' divorced! (Quickly breaks, stopping traffic)</p>
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
<p>[Setting: Monk's coffee shop]</p>
<p>(Elaine and Jerry sitting across from each other in a booth)</p>
<p>ELAINE: So, now, what is our move? What do we do?</p>
<p>JERRY: I don't know, but we don't have much time.</p>
<p>ELAINE: (Agreeing) Mm.</p>
<p>JERRY: The city's probably teeming with people who've been waiting
out that marriage.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Right.</p>
<p>JERRY: It's like when someone dies in a rent controlled building
- you gotta take immediate action.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Yeeah, but David and Beth are going to need their grieving
time.</p>
<p>JERRY: Their grieving time is a luxury I can't afford. I'm calling
Beth tonight, and if you want a clean shot at David, I suggest you
do likewise.</p>
<p>ELAINE: (Nodding) Yeah, yeah..</p>
<p>JERRY: But we gotta make it seem like we're not calling for dates.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Then why are we calling?</p>
<p>JERRY: Good question. (More to himself than to Elaine) Why are
we calling?</p>
<p>(Both start chanting &quot;why are we calling..&quot;, thinking
deeply)</p>
<p>ELAINE: (Loud) Oh! (Jerry has a surprised look) I've got it! I've
got it! We're calling just to say, &quot;I'm there for you.&quot;</p>
<p>JERRY: (Nodding, trying it out) &quot;I'm there for you.&quot;</p>
<p>ELAINE: Then, after a period of being &quot;there for you&quot;,
we slowly remove the two words &quot;for you&quot;, and we're just
(Makes a &quot;ta-da!&quot; gesture) &quot;there&quot;.</p>
<p>(Scene ends)</p>
<p>[Setting: Jerry's apartment]</p>
<p>(George enters)</p>
<p>ELAINE: Hey.</p>
<p>JERRY: Hey, remember Beth and David from yesterday? They got separated.</p>
<p>GEORGE: Really? (Realizes) Well, you don't think it had anything
to do with what I said, do you?</p>
<p>JERRY: What'd you say?</p>
<p>GEORGE: You know, that, that thing about her being too good for
him. I mean, I was just bein' folksy. They could tell I was just
being folksy..?</p>
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, I thought you were being folksy.</p>
<p>GEORGE: Totally folksy.</p>
<p>(Kramer enters wearing a new pair of jeans. They're obviously way
too small. Unable to bend his knees, he walks awkwardly into the
room. Elaine, Jerry, and</p>
<p>George are speechless - staring at him. Kramer walks past them,
and attempts to pick a magazine off the table, but does so with
great difficulty. Jerry starts to laugh</p>
<p>as Kramer throws the magazine back down)</p>
<p>JERRY: hey, uh.. (Kramer walks around a little) what'd you get
there?</p>
<p>KRAMER: Uh, yeah, I bought Dungarees.</p>
<p>ELAINE: Kramer, they're painted on!</p>
<p>KRAMER: Well, they're slim-fit.</p>
<p>JERRY: Slim-fit?</p>
<p>KRAMER: (Talking fast) Yeah, they're streamlined.</p>
<p>JERRY: You're walkin' like Frankenstein!</p>
<p>KRAMER: (Making his way toward the door) What? They just gotta
be worked in a little bit, that's all. (Pulling the door shut behind
him) Alright, see you later.</p>
<p>(Everyone stares after him)</p>
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<p>(Scene ends)</p>
<p>[Setting: Elaine's apartment]</p>
<p>(Sitting up on her bed, she's on the phone with David Lookner)</p>
<p>ELAINE: (Mock sympathy) Well.. David, it happens.</p>
<p>(Scene cuts to Jerry - he's on the phone with Beth)</p>
<p>JERRY: Sure, Beth, these things happen. (Brief pause) So, have
you told many.. people yet?</p>
<p>(Scene jumps back to Elaine)</p>
<p>ELAINE: Because it's really nobody's business.</p>
<p>(Back to Jerry)</p>
<p>JERRY: Anyway, I just called to tell you that, I'm there for you.</p>
<p>(Cut back to Elaine)</p>
<p>ELAINE: &quot;There&quot; is, um.. anywhere you want me to be..</p>
<p>(Back to Jerry)</p>
<p>JERRY: Sure, dinner would be fine.</p>
<p>(Back to Elaine)</p>
<p>ELAINE: And I could just be there. (Adding) For you.</p>
<p>(Scene takes a final cut back to Jerry. Kramer enters, still in
his pants, as Jerry hangs up. Kramer's frantic)</p>
<p>KRAMER: Jerry, you gotta help me!</p>
<p>JERRY: What's wrong?</p>
<p>KRAMER: I can't get my pants off, and Mickey's audition is in twenty
minutes! You know, I'm supposed to be a business man, I gotta be
in costume!</p>
<p>JERRY: Alright, alright. Uh, undo them. I'll help you get them
off.</p>
<p>KRAMER: (Bracing himself on a bar stool) Yeah, I already did it.
It won't come off. The zipper's suck..</p>
<p>NOT YET FINISHED.</p>
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