821 lines
42 KiB
HTML
821 lines
42 KiB
HTML
<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"><html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"
|
|
xmlns:og="http://opengraphprotocol.org/schema/"
|
|
xmlns:fb="http://www.facebook.com/2008/fbml"><!-- InstanceBegin template="/Templates/seinfeld.dwt" codeOutsideHTMLIsLocked="false" -->
|
|
<head>
|
|
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" />
|
|
<META NAME="AUTHOR" CONTENT="Doctoroids" />
|
|
<META NAME="COPYRIGHT" CONTENT="© 2002-2010 Doctoroids" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="doctitle" -->
|
|
<title>Seinfeld Scripts - The Wife</title>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<link href="support-files/seinfeld.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" />
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="docdescription" -->
|
|
<meta name="description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Wife. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="dockeywords" -->
|
|
<meta name="keywords" content="the wife, seinfeld scripts, seinfeld, seinfeld episode" />
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-16472669-1";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<link rel="image_src" href="images/seinfeld-share.jpg" />
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=doctoroids">var addthis_config = {data_track_clickback: true};</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="head" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="pagetype" -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageType="CONTENT";
|
|
</script>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script>
|
|
|
|
<meta property="og:site_name" content="SeinfeldScripts"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:app_id" content="164823560224402"/>
|
|
<meta property="fb:admins" content="824270386"/>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="ogdata" -->
|
|
<meta property="og:image" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/images/seinfeld-cast.jpg"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:title" content="The Wife"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:type" content="tv_show"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:url" content="http://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheWife.html"/>
|
|
<meta property="og:description" content="Want to know what Kramer told Seinfeld? Read the full scritpt of The Wife. Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes"/>
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
|
|
</head>
|
|
<body>
|
|
<div class="wrap">
|
|
<div class="head_title">
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div id="menu">
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<!-- **** INSERT NAVIGATION ITEMS HERE (use id="selected" to identify the page you're on **** -->
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Gifts</a></li>
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style" id="menu_share">
|
|
<li><a style="padding: 8px 3px 8px 160px" href="http://addthis.com/bookmark.php?v=250&username=doctoroids" class="addthis_button_compact">Share</a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_facebook"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_twitter"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_googlebuzz"></a></li>
|
|
<li><a class="addthis_button_digg"></a></li>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="underMenu">
|
|
<a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com">Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community!</a></div>
|
|
|
|
<div id="content"><!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="main_content" -->
|
|
<h1>The Wife</h1>
|
|
|
|
<p><table width="300" height="250" border="0" align="left" cellpadding="0" style="margin-right:10px;">
|
|
<tr>
|
|
<td>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-in_content-top_left */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4619537930";
|
|
google_ad_width = 300;
|
|
google_ad_height = 250;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
</td>
|
|
</tr>
|
|
</table><!-- BeginAdHead --><p><strong>Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? <br />Check out our complete <a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Guide right now</a>! Including <a href="seinfeld-t-shirt.html">T-Shirts</a>, <a href="seinfeld-dvd.html">DVDs</a>, and more!</strong></p><p> </p><script src="http://connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js#xfbml=1"></script><fb:like show_faces="false" width="330"></fb:like><g:plusone></g:plusone><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
<p align="center"> <br>
|
|
<i>Transcribed by Brian Dickson on Dec. 10, 2002.</i><br>
|
|
Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site <br>
|
|
<small>(Permission is given to copy scripts to other sites provided credits
|
|
as two lines above are included - Thanks</small></p>
|
|
<p><b><u>SEINFELD</u> Episode no. 81 "The Wife" (original air
|
|
date 17 March 1994)</b></p>
|
|
<p>Directed by Tom Cherones. Written by Peter Mehlman. </p>
|
|
<p>Guest stars: <br>
|
|
Courtney Cox (Meryl)<br>
|
|
Scott LaRose (Greg)<br>
|
|
Joseph Ragno (Marty)<br>
|
|
Liz Sheridan (Helen)<br>
|
|
Barney Martin (Morty)<br>
|
|
Rebecca Glenn (Paula)<br>
|
|
Len Lesser (Uncle Leo)<br>
|
|
Lili Bernard (Anna)<br>
|
|
Nick LaTour (Grandpa)<br>
|
|
Susan Segal (Waitress)<br>
|
|
Lawrence A. Mandley (Coffee shop owner)</p>
|
|
<p><i>Jerry's stand-up: </i>Of all the places that you go all the time,
|
|
the dry-cleaning relationship is one of the most bizarre. Because you
|
|
keep giving each other the same thing, back and forth, over and over again.
|
|
He gives it to you, you give it to him, he gives it back to you. It's
|
|
like it's half his shirt, in a way. He has it as much as you do...you
|
|
oughta go shopping with him. 'What do you think of this shirt?' 'That
|
|
would look good with a light starch.' The only warning label people really
|
|
respect is 'dry-clean only.' Y'know what I mean? Speed limits, lung cancer,
|
|
cigarette warnings - your very life is at stake! People go, 'Ah, the hell
|
|
with it!' But dry-clean only? 'Oh, don't put that in the wash! It's dry-clean
|
|
only! Are you crazy?!'</p>
|
|
<p><i>Opening scene - Jerry and his girlfriend Meryl at Jerry's apartment.
|
|
Meryl comes out of Jerry's bedroom.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Good morning. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Good morning.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: How'd you sleep?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey, you are the couch tonight, young lady. You were all over
|
|
my side.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I was not!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: C'mon, I was sleeping with one cheek off the bed!</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: By the way, you're falling way behind on the 'I love you's.'</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, no, 12-8!</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: No, it's 15-8.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I know I can't beat ya, I'm just trying to stay competitive.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Alright c'mon, let's get some breakfast.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh, let me get a coat. I think I'll try a sport jacket and scarf
|
|
thing, you know, like an unemployed actor. <Goes into his room, and
|
|
comes back out with the jacket on.> Haven't worn this one in a long
|
|
time.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL (feels Jerry's material): Ooh, cashmere?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, gore-tex. It's new. <Checks his pockets.> Hey, look
|
|
at this locket. What the hell is this? There's a picture in here, look
|
|
at that.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Wow, this is really old. You don't know whose it is?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, I haven't worn this jacket since I got it back from the dry-cleaner.
|
|
Maybe we should ask him. </p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Alright, we'll stop over there.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah. What do you want to get for breakfast?</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Pancakes.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh now, c'mon, you know I'm getting pancakes.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I don't know that! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: But we can't both get pancakes, it's embarrassing. It's like one
|
|
step from the couples who dress alike.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I'll get the short stack.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ah, that's why I love ya. 15-9. <They go out into the hallway
|
|
and run into Kramer and his African-American girlfriend, Anna.> Hey,
|
|
how ya doin.'</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: We just got back from breakfast. The pancakes were dynamite.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey, is that my maple syrup? <Kramer hands it over.></p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: You bring your own syrup?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Got to.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (to Meryl): You got a lot to learn about pancakes.</p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Meryl at Marty the dry-cleaner's.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MARTY (looking at the locket): This is my wife. She died eight years
|
|
ago. I been looking all over for this! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Boy, it's a lucky thing I put the jacket on. But how did it get
|
|
in the pocket? </p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Well, see here, the chain is broken...it must have slipped in
|
|
when I was, uh...<gestures at the racks of clothes behind him.></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, wow.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: I turned my house upside-down looking for this! It's all I have
|
|
left of her.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Oh, that's so touching.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY (to Jerry): Know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna give you
|
|
and your family 25% off all your dry-cleaning from now on.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, come on!</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: What are you talkin' about?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It's silly!</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Hey, forget it!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Get outta here!</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: It's done!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (giving in): Alright.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Well, I guess I get it too, because I'm his wife.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY (to Jerry): I didn't know you were married.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh...yeah...you've never met my wife, Meryl? Meryl Seinfeld.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY (to Meryl): Sure, you get the discount, too.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You might regret that, because the money my wife spends on clothes...</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I'm taking him to the cleaners!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Ah - see the sense of humor? C'mere, I'm so nuts about you...<hugs
|
|
Meryl.> I tell ya, it was fun being single, but when you meet a woman
|
|
like this, you don't walk to get married - you run! </p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Elaine on the street outside the New York Health Club.
|
|
Greg comes out of the club.</i></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, hi Greg.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Haven't seen you in a while.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah. Well, today was the first day I worked out since the Central
|
|
Park Mini-Marathon.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: You ran the Mini-Marathon?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, but I exercised that day. <Laughs.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Well, I gotta take off.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, I guess as an airline pilot, you're one of the few people
|
|
who can say that and mean it. <Laughs again. Greg looks at her, unamused.>
|
|
Um, do you have the time?</p>
|
|
<p>GREG (looks at his watch): Eleven-thirty.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (surprised): Eleven-thirty?</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Wait, ten-thirty. Sorry.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Do you have to be somewhere?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Then what are you doing?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I'm just waiting for my friend George, we worked out together.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Oh. Well, it was good seeing you.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, nice to see you, too.</p>
|
|
<p><Greg plants an open-lipped kiss on Elaine and walks away. She looks
|
|
after him with a puzzled expression.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Meryl having breakfast at the coffee shop.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Uh, would you, um...can I...</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Pardon?</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: The syrup. Would you pass the syrup?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (holds up the syrup bottle): Oh, you want to try the syrup! <Meryl
|
|
smiles and takes it. The waitress comes over.></p>
|
|
<p>WAITRESS: Can I get you anything else?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Um, yeah...I think my wife and I'll have a little more coffee.</p>
|
|
<p>WAITRESS: Okay.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: And a check for my husband.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (toasts with his orange juice): To my beautiful wife.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: To my adoring husband.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Adoring? What about handsome? </p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I like adoring.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Sure, adoring's good for you, what does it do for me? <Meryl
|
|
laughs. The owner of the coffee shop comes over.></p>
|
|
<p>OWNER (points at the bottle of maple syrup): Excuse me...where did you
|
|
get that?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I, uh...well...</p>
|
|
<p>OWNER: Uh, we don't allow any outside syrups, jams or condiments in the
|
|
restaurant. (To Jerry) And if I catch you in here with that again...I
|
|
will confiscate it.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, I told my wife not to bring it.</p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Kramer in Jerry's apartment.</i></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Really? 25% off? Do I get that, too?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, just Meryl.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Why, why? Why does she get it?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Because she's my wife! <The door buzzer sounds, and Jerry lets
|
|
Elaine into the building - Jerry: Yeh? Elaine: Meh. Jerry: Eh.> And
|
|
I'll tell ya, I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about
|
|
each other. You care about each other. It's wonderful! Plus, I love saying
|
|
"my wife." Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop - "my
|
|
wife" this, "my wife" that...it's an amazing way to begin
|
|
a sentence.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: "My wife has an inner ear infection." </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: See?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I like that! Hey look, will you do me a favor? Will you take
|
|
my quilt into the cleaners for me, so I can get the discount too?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh come on, we're gonna start doing this now? I can't be taking
|
|
all your dry-cleaning in!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: C'mon, just this one time! It's expensive!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright. <Elaine enters.></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey. Hey Elaine, what do you say if neither of us is married
|
|
in ten years, we get hitched?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Let's make it fifty.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: We're engaged! Alright, I'm gonna get my quilt. <Kramer leaves.></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Alright, listen to this. Remember that guy I was telling you
|
|
about at the health club?</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>JERRY: The fly-boy.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey, where's George? I thought he was with you.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I waited, he didn't show up. Anyway, this guy gave me an open-lip
|
|
kiss.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: So? We've always just kind've pecked. This one had a totally
|
|
different dynamic.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Really.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah. I mean, his upper lip landed flush on my upper lip. But
|
|
his lower lip landed well below my rim. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Moisture?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah. Definite moisture.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: That's an open-lip kiss, alright.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah. Listen, I think he's giving me a big signal...maybe he
|
|
wants to change our relationship. <The buzzer sounds, Elaine answers
|
|
it.> Yeah?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE (on intercom): Oh, uh...it's George.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hey, what happened to you?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE (meekly): Nothing...little problem.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Well, what was it? I mean, I was waiting.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Can I come upstairs, please? <Elaine pushes the button and
|
|
lets George in.></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (to Jerry): I mean, maybe he wants to ask me out.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't know why you're interested in this guy, he's a jerk.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Because, he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah, so?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I respect that. <George enters.> Mmm, what happened?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Nothing, I... said it was a little problem.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah? What was it?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE (defensive): Well...I was in the locker room showering, and I...I
|
|
had to go, so...</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Here we go.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Anyway, I think the guy in the shower opposite saw me. He gave
|
|
me a dirty look.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You went...in the shower?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, so what? I'm not the only one! <Kramer enters with his
|
|
quilt.></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (to Jerry): Do you go in the shower?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, never.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (to Kramer): Do you?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I take baths.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, what was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on
|
|
my bathrobe? Go all the way down to the other end? Come all the way back?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Ever hear of...holding it in?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, no...no, that's very bad for the kidneys.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: How do you know?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Medical journals!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Do the medical journals mention anything about standing in a pool
|
|
of someone else's urine?</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry dropping off Kramer's quilt at the dry-cleaners.
|
|
Meryl is already there dropping off some stuff of her own.</i></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Oh, hi...honey.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What are you doing here?</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I just thought I'd drop off a few things.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh. <Smiles at Marty nervously.> Well, I must have been
|
|
in the incinerator room when you left. Here you go, Marty. <Hands over
|
|
Kramer's quilt.></p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Another quilt? Huh? <Uncle Leo enters.></p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: Jerry! </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uncle Leo!</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: Hello!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hello.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY (to Jerry): So, if you or your wife want to drop by on Wednesday,
|
|
it should be ready.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: Your wife?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (hoping Leo will pick up on the scam): Yeah...my wife.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: What are you talking about?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh...I got married.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO (shocked): You got married? I wasn't invited? Nobody sends
|
|
me an invitation?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, it was sudden.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: Are you ashamed of your uncle? Do I embarrass you?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No, no, it was a small ceremony.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: Haven't I always been a good uncle?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yes, yes, you have.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: Who told you when you went to school that you print well?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You did, you did.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO (to Meryl): When he was younger, he had a beautiful penmanship.
|
|
I used to encourage him to print.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm a good printer.</p>
|
|
<p>UNCLE LEO: I remember your 'V.' It was like a perfect triangle. Whoa,
|
|
there's my bus! <Rushes out.> Hello! Wait! <Jerry tries to catch
|
|
Leo before he runs off to tell him about his "pretend marriage,"
|
|
but doesn't make it.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Elaine talking with Greg while he's on a Stairmaster at
|
|
the health club.</i></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: I'm glad you're here. This can get really boring. Do you know where
|
|
I can get some good olives?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I can find out.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Would ya?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Sure. <Thinks - <i>Ooh, a project. That's a definite signal!></i></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: By the way, you look really great in that leotard.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, thanks. <Thinks - <i>That's no signal, who wouldn't like
|
|
me in this leotard? I look amazing in this leotard</i>.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Hey, you know what's weird? I think I had a dream about you last
|
|
night.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: <Thinks - <i>Okay, he open-lips me, he dreams about me, we
|
|
have an olive project...that's it, I'm asking this guy out</i>.> Um,
|
|
you know Greg, I...</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Can I have a sip of your water?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, yeah, sure. <Hands Greg her bottle.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Thanks. <Is about to take a drink, but wipes the neck of the
|
|
bottle with his shirt first.></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (shocked expression): <Thinks - <i>Oh my God</i>.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG (hands the bottle back): I'm sorry, what were you saying?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: It was nothing, forget it. <George enters the gym.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: See that guy right there? I caught him urinating in the shower.
|
|
I'm thinking about turning him in, too. <On the other side of the room,
|
|
George falls off an exercise machine and gets his foot caught in it.></p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Meryl in Jerry's apartment. Meryl is lounging
|
|
on the couch, watching TV and eating chocolates.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Honey? Could you get me something to drink?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (from his bedroom hallway, alluding to the fact that she should
|
|
get the drink herself): You're right there.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: C'mon, I'm sitting! <Jerry walks to the kitchen, annoyed. Meryl
|
|
laughs at the TV show she's watching.></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (looking in a drawer): Honey, what'd you do with the can opener?</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I didn't do anything with it.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, it's not here, it was here yesterday.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: It's in the first drawer.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm looking in the first drawer. It's not here.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Yes, it is.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (irritated): Hey...I'm not stupid. I'm looking in that drawer,
|
|
there's no can opener.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Did I say you were stupid?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (angrily): Well, wouldn't I have to be? You tell me there's a can
|
|
opener in the drawer, I'm looking in the drawer, there's no can opener
|
|
- what other conclusion could one reach? <The phone rings.></p>
|
|
<p>MERYL (getting up): Do you want me to go find it?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (slams the drawer): Yes. I do. You show me where there's a can
|
|
opener in that drawer. <Answers the phone.> Hello! I'm sorry, I'm
|
|
just fighting with my wife.</p>
|
|
<p><Cut to Morty and Helen in Florida, each with phone in hand.></p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: Jerry, we just heard, what's going on?</p>
|
|
<p>MORTY: Why the hell didn't you tell us?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Listen, Ma...</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL (looking in the drawer): It was in here yesterday!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (angrily): Yeah, that's what I said!</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: Who is she? When did this happen?</p>
|
|
<p>MORTY (to Jerry): I told her you'd get married. She thought you'd never
|
|
do it.</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: Morty, you're talking too loud.</p>
|
|
<p>MORTY: I'm not talking loud!</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: You're hurting my eardrum.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL (looking for the can opener): Well, you must have done something
|
|
with it!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (to Meryl): I'm on the phone!</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: Is she there? Can we talk to her? What's her name?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Mom, I'm not married.</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: What?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm not married!</p>
|
|
<p>MORTY: I knew it, I told ya!</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN (to Jerry): Uncle Leo said.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm just pretending I'm married to get a discount on dry-cleaning.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>HELEN: A discount on dry-cleaning?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (to Meryl, who's making a racket in the kitchen looking for the
|
|
can opener): Could you make a little more noise? <To his parents>
|
|
Listen, I'm gonna have to call you later.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL (not finding the opener): Well, I give up.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Well, whoopie whoop. <Meryl goes into the other room. Kramer
|
|
staggers in the door in his bathrobe.></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Got any coffee?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah. <Kramer lurches into the kitchen, trips, and falls onto
|
|
the kitchen floor.> I'll get it, I'll get it! Take it easy, why are
|
|
you so tired?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: My quilt is still at the cleaners. Jerry, I can't sleep without
|
|
my quilt. Like the other night? I was cold. So, last night, I turn up
|
|
the heat - it's too hot. I open up a window - it's too cold. <Frantic>
|
|
I can't get into a zone!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What is that? <Points to Kramer's pocket as Meryl comes back.></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, I forgot. <Hands back Jerry's can opener.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Meryl in bed later that night.</i></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey, I'm sorry about all that can opener stuff.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Yeah, me too. Love you.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Love you.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Well, goodnight.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Goodnight. <They kiss goodnight, then promptly roll away from
|
|
each other and go to sleep.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>Commercial break.</i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry, George and Elaine in Jerry's apartment the next
|
|
day.</i></p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: They could kick me out of the health club if he tells them!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: So what do you want me to do?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Talk to him!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: How can I do that?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You said the guy gave you an open-lipped kiss!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (enunciating clearly so George gets the point): Yes, but then
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
he wiped his hand on the top of the bottle when I offered him water!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, that doesn't mean anything!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Are you kidding? That's very significant! If he was interested
|
|
in me, he'd want my germs! He'd just <i>crave</i> my germs!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY (patiently): She's right, George. Bottle-wipe is big.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Well, what about the open-lipped kiss?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Bottle-wipe supercedes it.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Yeah, you're right, you're right. <To Elaine> Alright,
|
|
maybe he's not interested, but you still know him - can't you just ask
|
|
him?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: George...but if I ask him now, I will have no chance of going
|
|
out with him.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Why?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I...I don't know...</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Aha. Aha. Could it be because you don't want him to know that
|
|
you have a friend who pees in the shower, is that it?!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, that's not it!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, I think it is! I think that's exactly what it is!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Why couldn't you just wait?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I was there! I saw a drain!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Since when is a drain a toilet?!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: It's all pipes! What's the difference?!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Different pipes go to different places! You're gonna mix 'em
|
|
up!</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'll call a plumber right now! <Goes for the phone.></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright, can we just drop all the pee-pipe stuff here?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (to George): Okay! Okay! I will talk to him. <Kramer enters.></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Jerry, I think that quilt is ready.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, you gotta pick it up for me!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Alright, I'll pick it up, but it's the last time I'm doin' it!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I'm so tired!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE (to Kramer): Boy, you don't look good.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Huh? I don't?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, you look pale.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Pale? Oh my God...I gotta meet Anna's parents today! <The
|
|
phone rings.></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hello? Oh, hi honey. <annoyed, weary> Yes, I told him. I'll
|
|
get it. <George and Elaine give each other a look, then leave Jerry
|
|
to argue with Meryl on the phone.> Whenever. Okay, I'm sorry...</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry at the dry-cleaners. Kramer paces outside impatiently,
|
|
waiting for his quilt.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: I'm sorry, it's not ready yet. <Kramer bursts in.></p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Not ready? It has to be ready! What kind of a business are you
|
|
running here?</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Who the hell are you? It's not your quilt.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: He's a very good friend of mine, he's kind've like an older brother
|
|
to me...when things don't go right, he kinda takes it personally.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Well, uh...maybe tomorrow.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER (angrily, to Jerry): Maybe.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, it's okay, it'll be okay.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Alright, I'm gonna see you later.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Where you goin'?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: I gotta meet Anna's parents today, remember? I look terrible!
|
|
I'm gonna hit the tanning machines.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I can't believe you still do that. You know those things are bad
|
|
for ya.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hey, that's how I maintain my glow. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm goin' home. <Kramer exits. An attractive woman enters the
|
|
dry-cleaners with a bundle of clothes in her hands. Jerry notices her
|
|
and waits by the door.></p>
|
|
<p>PAULA (to Marty, in a foreign accent): Excuse me? Uh, how much would
|
|
it cost to clean this?</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Oh, about thirteen dollars.</p>
|
|
<p>PAULA: Thirteen? Well, I can't afford that.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Well, I'm sorry.</p>
|
|
<p><Paula turns around to leave and runs into Jerry. They smile at each
|
|
other.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Elaine and Greg at the health club. A sweaty Greg is exercising
|
|
on a leg machine.></i></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hi, Greg.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Hey, Elaine. I'll be off in a second. <Another guy approaches
|
|
the exercise machine.></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I got the machine next, buddy. <Greg finishes up his workout
|
|
and gets off the machine.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG (to Elaine): It's all yours. <Walks away. Elaine looks at the
|
|
machine, then George runs over.></p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: What happened? Did he bring it up?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Never mind that, look at the signal I just got.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Signal? What signal?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Lookit. He knew I was gonna use the machine next, he didn't wipe
|
|
his sweat off. That's a gesture of intimacy.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I'll tell you what that is - that's a violation of club rules.
|
|
Now I got him! And you're my witness!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Listen, George! Listen! He knew what he was doing, this was a
|
|
signal.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: A guy leaves a puddle of sweat, that's a signal?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah! It's a social thing.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: What if he left you a used Kleenex, what's that, a valentine?
|
|
Now you go up to him and you tell him that if he's thinking of turning
|
|
me in, that I got the goods on him!</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No! I won't be a party to this.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: So you're gonna let me get suspended for shower urination?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Okay, I'll talk to him. But you're putting me in a very difficult
|
|
position. <Walks away.></p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Paula in a booth at the coffee shop. Jerry is
|
|
trying to get the bundle of clothes from her so he can pay for the dry-cleaning.</i></p>
|
|
<p>PAULA: I won't let you do this!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I want to!</p>
|
|
<p>PAULA: But it isn't right! I can't.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Give me the clothes. </p>
|
|
<p>PAULA: Jerry, please. What about her?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Oh, the hell with her. <Paula dramatically flees from the coffee
|
|
shop. Jerry thinks for a second, then follows her and catches up to her
|
|
on the street.></p>
|
|
<p>PAULA: No, Jerry, please!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm not gonna let you walk out of my life.</p>
|
|
<p>PAULA (hands over the clothes): I can't fight you. <They embrace and
|
|
kiss passionately.></p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Do you want box or hanger?</p>
|
|
<p>PAULA: You decide. <Jerry considers.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Kramer in a tanning booth at the health club. He lies
|
|
down on the tanning bed and bonks his head. Cut back to Elaine and Greg
|
|
in the weight room.</i></p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You're really working up quite a sweat today, huh?</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Yeah. <Spies the shapely manager of the health club.> Oh,
|
|
there's the manager. Good. I think I'm gonna talk to her about that guy,
|
|
you know, we cannot have people like that in here.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Are you sure you want to do that?</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Yeah. He's disgusting! Besides, I'll take any chance I can to talk
|
|
to her.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You're interested in...in her? <Points at the manager.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Very.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Ah. You know, uh...I'm engaged. <preens> Yep, gettin' married
|
|
in fifty years. <Snaps the straps of her leotard against her chest
|
|
and winces. George walks by the manager.></p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Oh good, there he is. I wanna be able to point him out.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You know, Greg, I wouldn't do that if I were you.</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Why?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it a violation of club
|
|
policy to not wipe down a machine after using it?</p>
|
|
<p>GREG: Oh, I see...you're friends with the urinator, aren't you?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, well, at least he had a drain.</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i><Cut back to Kramer lying on the health club tanning bed - fast
|
|
asleep and snoring.></i></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Meryl picking up her clothes at the dry-cleaners.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Here you go, Mrs. Seinfeld...with your 25% discount, it comes
|
|
to $17.80.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Here you go. <Pays Marty, then looks at the clothes on the
|
|
hanger.> Excuse me, this isn't mine.</p>
|
|
<p>MARTY: Oh, yes it is. Your husband brought it in himself.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Really? <Takes her change and grabs the clothes off the hanger.>
|
|
Thank you. <Exits.></p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Anna with her family and friends at her apartment. There's
|
|
a knock at the door.</i></p>
|
|
<p>ANNA: That's him! <Opens the door. Kramer stands there, <i>deeply</i>
|
|
tanned and smiling. Anna and her grandfather are shocked.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i> </i></p>
|
|
<p><i>Commercial break.</i></p>
|
|
<p><i>New scene - Jerry and Meryl in Jerry's apartment.</i></p>
|
|
<p>MERYL (throws Paula's clothes at Jerry): You son of a bitch!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm sorry.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Who is she? I want to know who she is.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It doesn't matter. I want a divorce.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: A divorce? Oh, so you can marry her and give her the discount?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yes, that's right.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: What happened to us, Jerry?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'll tell you what happened. We got married.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: I'm sorry, this is my fault. I pushed it on you.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: No. I guess I just wasn't ready for the responsibilities of a
|
|
pretend marriage.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Goodbye, Jerry. Oh, I forgot...<reaches in her purse>...this
|
|
is your maple syrup.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It's alright, I want you to have it.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Okay, thanks.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: We'll always have...pancakes.</p>
|
|
<p>MERYL: Bye, Jerry. <Exits.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>Cut back to Kramer at Anna's door.</i></p>
|
|
<p>GRANDPA (to Anna): I thought you said you was bringin' a white boy home!
|
|
I don't see a white boy! I see a damn fool!</p>
|
|
<p><Kramer stands there, grinning foolishly.></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p><i>End of episode.</i></p>
|
|
<p><i>Transcribed by Brian Dickson on Dec. 10, 2002.</i></p>
|
|
<p><br>
|
|
Originally posted on The News Guys(Mike's) site
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<p
|
|
align="center"> </p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd03 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- content -->
|
|
|
|
<div id="navBar">
|
|
|
|
<div id="upperBox">
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-top_small */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "4348143300";
|
|
google_ad_width = 200;
|
|
google_ad_height = 200;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"
|
|
src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js">
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<div class="leftnav"><br />
|
|
<ul>
|
|
<li><a href="index.html">Home</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Full Scripts</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="http://community.seinfeldscripts.com/">Community</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Guide</a> </li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-characters.html">Characters Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-cast.html">Cast Details</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-quotes.html">Quotes</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="buy-seinfeld.html">Seinfeld Gift Shop</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="festivus.html">Festivus Info</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="seinfeld-superman.html">Superman References</a></li>
|
|
<li><a href="watch-seinfeld.html">Watch Online</a></li>
|
|
|
|
<li><a href="#">Search in site</a></li>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<form action="http://seinfeldscripts.com/search.html" id="cse-search-box">
|
|
<div>
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cx" value="partner-pub-4355410371465348:0292184103" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="cof" value="FORID:10" />
|
|
<input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" />
|
|
<input type="text" name="q" size="20" />
|
|
<input type="submit" name="sa" value="Search" />
|
|
</div>
|
|
</form>
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
</ul>
|
|
<p><a href="#" target="_top"></a><br /></p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.google.com/cse/brand?form=cse-search-box&lang=en"></script>
|
|
|
|
<script type="text/javascript"><!--
|
|
google_ad_client = "ca-pub-4355410371465348";
|
|
/* html-nav_bar-tower */
|
|
google_ad_slot = "3170809384";
|
|
google_ad_width = 160;
|
|
google_ad_height = 600;
|
|
//-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
|
|
<p ></p>
|
|
<!-- InstanceBeginEditable name="bottomrightnav" -->
|
|
<!-- InstanceEndEditable -->
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var pageHeight = document.documentElement.scrollHeight;
|
|
var bannerSize = 2300;
|
|
var headHeight = (pageType!="HOME" && pageType!="CHARACTERS" && pageType!="SCRIPTSINDEX")?1500:900; // in these pages there is no google adsense block below the navigation
|
|
var bannerRepeat = (pageHeight > (headHeight + 1500))?Math.ceil((pageHeight - headHeight) / 2300):0;
|
|
if (pageType!="SALE" ){
|
|
if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
|
|
for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
|
|
document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
|
|
}
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
|
|
<!--
|
|
function noSpam(user,domain) {
|
|
locationstring = "mailto:" + user + "@" + domain;
|
|
window.location = locationstring;
|
|
}
|
|
-->
|
|
</script>
|
|
<div class="footer">
|
|
<p><a href="episodes_oveview.html">Episodes Overview</a> | <a href="seinfeld-scripts.html">Scripts</a> | <a href="javascript:noSpam('doctoroidsweb','gmail.com')">Contact</a></p>
|
|
<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
|
|
</div>
|
|
</div>
|
|
<!-- Kontera ContentLink(TM);-->
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
var dc_AdLinkColor = 'blue' ;
|
|
var dc_PublisherID = 141705 ;
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type='text/javascript'>
|
|
if (pageType=="CONTENT") {
|
|
document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="http://kona.kontera.com/javascript/lib/KonaLibInline.js"></scr' + 'ipt>');
|
|
}
|
|
</script>
|
|
<script type="text/javascript">
|
|
var _gaq = _gaq || [];
|
|
_gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-16472669-1']);
|
|
_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);
|
|
(function() {
|
|
var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
|
|
ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js';
|
|
var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);
|
|
})();
|
|
</script></body>
|
|
<!-- InstanceEnd --></html>
|
|
<!-- text below generated by server. PLEASE REMOVE -->
|
|
|
|
|
|
<!--webbot bot="HTMLMarkup" startspan TAG="XBOT" --><!--webbot bot="HTMLMarkup" endspan
|
|
-->
|
|
<script language="JavaScript">var PUpage="76001089"; var PUprop="geocities"; </script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://www.geocities.com/js_source/pu5geo.js"></script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://www.geocities.com/js_source/ygIELib9.js?v3"></script>
|
|
<script
|
|
language="JavaScript">var yviContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001089&l=NE&b=1&t=1037840093';yviR='us';yfiEA(0);</script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mc/mc.js"></script>
|
|
<script language="JavaScript"
|
|
src="http://domainpending.com/js_source/geov2.js"></script>
|
|
<script language="javascript">geovisit();</script>
|
|
<noscript>
|