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738 lines
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<h1>The Wink</h1>
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Transcribed by: Mike (the NewsGuy)</p>
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<p>Tom Wright [ Morgan ]<br>
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Stacey Travis [ Holly ]<br>
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Brian McNamara [ James ]<br>
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Ian Patrick Williams [ Stubs ]<br>
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Paul O'Neill [ Himself ]<br>
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Thomas Dekker [ Bobby ]<br>
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Clive Rosengren [ Waiter ]<br>
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<br>
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Written by: Tom Gammill & Max Pross </p>
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<p>Directed by: Andy Ackerman </p>
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<p>============================================</p>
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<p>[Elaine's bedroom - phone rings]</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Hello</p>
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<p>JAMES: This is your wake up service. It's 7:15</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh, god. OH, I could use a few more hours sleep.</p>
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<p>JAMES: Hot date last night?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I wish.</p>
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<p>JAMES: A woman with a sexy voice like yours its hard to believe your
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waking up alone.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Really? Thank you., wake up service . . . person.</p>
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<p>JAMES: Call me James.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh, all right, James. He he he</p>
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<p>[Monks]</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Your wake up guy asked you out?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Yeah, I've never seen him but I feel like we have this weirdly
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intimate relationship. I mean, I'm lying in bed, I'm wearing my nightie,
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</p>
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<p>JERRY: I don't know. Blind date?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What? You're going to go out with my cousin Holly. You've never
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met her.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Yeah, but I've seen pictures of her.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: At least I've spoken to my guy. You're going out on a deaf date.</p>
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<p>JERRY: I think I'd rather go out on a deaf date than a blind date. The
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question is whether you'd rather date the blind or the deaf.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Ah, . . . </p>
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<p>GEORGE: Now you're off on a topic.</p>
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<p>JERRY: You know, I think, I would rather date the deaf.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Uh hu.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Because I think the blind would probably be a little messier around
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the house. And lets face it they're not going to get all the crumbs. I'd
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possibly be walking around with a sponge.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: You see I disagree. I'd rather be dating the blind. You know
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you could let the house go. You could let yourself go. A good looking
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blind woman doesn't even know you're not good enough for her. </p>
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<p>ELAINE: I think she'd figure it out. </p>
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<p>[waitress places plates on the table]</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What? What is this?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Veggie sandwich and a grapefruit.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Veggie sandwich and a grapefruit? What are you turning into?</p>
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<p>JERRY: A healthy person. </p>
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<p>GEORGE: [ rubbing his eye] Ow, Ow you squirted me.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, sorry</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Boy, it stings.</p>
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<p>[Yankee Stadium]</p>
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<p>WILHELM: George, have you seen Morgan?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: No.</p>
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<p>WILHELM: He's been coming in late all week. Is there something wrong?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: No, not that I know of. (winks)</p>
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<p>WILHELM: Really? Make sure he signs this. Oh, look George, if there's
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a problem with Morgan you can tell me.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Morgan? No. He's doing a great job. (winks)</p>
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<p>WILHELM: I understand.</p>
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<p>[Jerry's apartment]</p>
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<p>JERRY: I still can't believe, you're going out on a blind date.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I'm not worried. It sounds like he's really good looking.</p>
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<p>JERRY: You're going by sound? What are we? Whales?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I think I can tell.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Elaine, what percentage of people would you say are good looking?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Twenty-five percent.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Twenty-five percent, you say? No way! It's like 4 to 6 percent.
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It's a twenty to one shot.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: You're way off. </p>
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<p>JERRY: Way off? Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's like
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a leper colony down there.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: So what you are saying is that 90 to 95 percent of the population
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is undateable?</p>
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<p>JERRY: UNDATEABLE! </p>
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<p>ELAINE: Then how are all these people getting together?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Alcohol. </p>
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<p>ELAINE: (to George who is winking) What is your problem?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: No problem here.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: You keep winking at me. That's really obnoxious.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I had no idea.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Right there. Right there. You just did it again.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It's from that grapefruit that
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Jerry squirted at me.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: You're eye still hurts?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah, yeah. You must have squirted a piece of pulp in it too.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Pulp couldn't make it across the table.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Pulp can move, Baby! Why didn't you eat a real breakfast?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Hey, I eat healthy. If I have to take out an eye, that's the breaks.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Wait a minute. I must have been winking down at the office. That's
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why Mr. Wilhelm was acting so mysteriouso.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: What did he think, you were flirtin' with him?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hu, oh. No he thought I was hiding something from him about Morgan.
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</p>
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<p>[Kramer enters]</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Hi guys.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Hi, </p>
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<p>KRAMER: Hello Archie, Veronica, Mr. Weatherbee. . . . Is this Don Matingly's
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signature? </p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: And Buck Showalter's?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: It's an inter-office envelope. It get passed around all over
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the office.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Um, can I show this to my buddy Stubbs . He runs a sports memorabilia
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store. He pays top dollar for pro autographs. </p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yeah, like I'm going to risk my job with the New York Yankees
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to make a few extra bucks. (winks)</p>
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<p>KRAMER: No, of course not. (winks back)</p>
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<p>[Sports Memorabilia Shop]</p>
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<p>KRAMER: You know, you see Don Matingly signed this envelope then he sent
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it to room 318, where it was received and signed for by manager Buck Showalter.</p>
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<p>STEINBRENNER: I don't know. An envelope doesn't really cut it.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Why?<br>
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STEINBRENNER: What is this? A birthday card. Ha ha . . . signed by the
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ENTIRE Yankee organization! . . . This could be worth something. </p>
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<p>[Yankee Stadium]</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Is that the lovely Mrs. Morgan? </p>
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<p>MM: Hello.</p>
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<p>MORGAN: Oh, by the way, have you got that birthday card? </p>
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<p>GEORGE: Birthday card?</p>
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<p>MORGAN: Mr. Steinbrenner's birthday card. Wilhem said you had it for
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me to sign.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Oh ah, I uh, will have that for you by after lunch.</p>
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<p>MORGAN: Fine. I'll be back after my massage.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Of course. Your massage. (winks) Enjoy your massage. (winks)</p>
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<p>[Monk's - Elaine sitting alone]</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Hello.</p>
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<p>James: Elaine?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: James! Ah, ha, Hello! Phew!</p>
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<p>[Old Homestead Steak House]</p>
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<p>HOLLY: I can't believe you've never taken anybody here before.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Well, I'm not really that much of a meat eater.</p>
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<p>HOLLY: . . . You don't eat meat? Are you one of those. . .</p>
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<p>JERRY: Well, no, I'm not one of those.</p>
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<p>HOLLY: When we were little girls Grandma Memma would take us to a matinee
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and then dinner here.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Grandma Memma? </p>
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<p>HOLLY: Elaine must have mentioned Grandma Memma.</p>
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<p>JERRY: No, I think I would have remembered Memma.</p>
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<p>HOLLY: Oh well, that's typical. Elaine never liked Grandma Memma.</p>
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<p>WAITER: Ready? </p>
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<p>HOLLY: I'll have the porterhouse medium rare, baked potato with sour
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cream, </p>
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<p>JERRY: What do you recommend besides the steak?</p>
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<p>WAITER: The lamb chops are good.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Anything lighter? How do you prepare the chicken?</p>
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<p>WAITER: It's a full bird. Stuffed with ham, topped with gorganzola.</p>
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<p>JERRY: You know what? I think I'll just have the salad.</p>
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<p>WAITER: . . . Thank you.</p>
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<p>JERRY: (mind's voice) Just a salad? Just a salad? Just a salad?</p>
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<p>[Outside of Monk's - James unties his dogs]</p>
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<p>JAMES: Hey you, hey you.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh, uh, ha, you've got dogs?</p>
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<p>JAMES: Yeah, you know, when you live alone, you're dogs are all you have.
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Do you like dogs?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: (mind's voice from - … ) SHUT UP! YOU STUPID LITTLE MUT
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!</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Dogs. Oh I love dogs.</p>
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<p>JAMES: Boys, this is Elaine. . . . Sorry, they're usually very friendly.
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Hey! </p>
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<p>[Yankee Stadium]</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hey, Mr. Morgan how was your massage?</p>
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<p>MORGAN: I had to cancel it. For some reason my wife got it into her head
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that it was more than just a massage.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Really?</p>
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<p>MORGAN: Yeah, we had this big fight at lunch it looks like tonight I
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will be sleeping on the couch.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hey, listen don't oversleep. You can't afford to be late again.</p>
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<p>MORGAN: I know. Somebody around here has been giving Wilhelm the impression
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that I have been slacking off. </p>
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<p>GEORGE: Geez, Hey you know something, you should try my friend's wake
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up service. She swears by this thing.</p>
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<p>MORGAN: Costanza, you may be my only friend around here. By the way,
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you got that birthday card?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Ah, not yet. </p>
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<!-- BeginAd01 --><!-- EndAd -->
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<p>MORGAN: Just make sure Steinbrenner doesn't get it until I sign it.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Yes sir!</p>
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<p>[Jerry's apartment]</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I just don't understand it as soon as I met these dogs they started
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growling at me.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Maybe his dogs heard about how you tried to kidnap that other
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dog. These muts like to gossip. So have you talked too Holly? </p>
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<p>ELAINE: Huh huh.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Did she mention anything about our lunch?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Uh, kind of.</p>
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<p>JERRY: What do you mean, "kind of."?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I mean, she thought it was kind of strange to just order a salad.
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. . . You know. . . . For a man.</p>
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<p>JERRY: What are you saying? . . . Salad! What was I thinking? Women don't
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respect salad eaters.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: You got that right.</p>
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<p>JERRY: But you're going over there for dinner tonight, right?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Um uh.</p>
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<p>JERRY: What is she making?</p>
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<p>ELAINE: I don't know. But I'm sure it had, . . . parents. Call her up.
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She won't mind if you come.</p>
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<p>JERRY: Oh, don't worry. I'll be there and I'll be packing an artery.
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</p>
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<p>[Kramer's door - George knocks]</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Ah, Mr. Weatherbee. </p>
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<p>GEORGE: You got the Yankee envelope?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Sure do.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: oh, </p>
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<p>KRAMER: Here you go.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Hey, he, </p>
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<p>KRAMER: You'll be pleased to see what's inside.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: What is this?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: You're cut of the loot. Stubs gave me 200 dollars for the autographed
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birthday card that was inside.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Who told you to sell the card?</p>
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<p>KRAMER: You did.</p>
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<p>GEORGE: No I didn't! </p>
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<p>KRAMER: No, not in so many words but I believe we had an understanding.
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(winks)</p>
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<p>GEORGE: I was not winking you idiot. That was the grapefruit. It's like
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acid. I need that card back. It's Mr. Steinbrenner's. I was responsible.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Well Stubs has already sold it to some guy who's kid's in the
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hospital .</p>
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<p>GEORGE: Well get it back! It's very important. (winks)</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Look, do you want me to get it back or not?</p>
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<p>GEORGE: (holds eyes wide open) Get it back!</p>
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<p>[Holly's apartment]</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Such a lovely table setting. Oh, wear did you get these napkins?</p>
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<p>HOLLY: They're grandma Memma's.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Oh, I don't remember them.</p>
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<p>HOLLY: Oh, you wouldn't. She only used them on special occasions.</p>
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<p>ELAINE: Special occassions? It wasn't special when my family visited?</p>
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<p>HOLLY: Everybody like mutton?</p>
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<p>JERRY: Um, mutton! Hope you didn't cut the fat off.</p>
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<p>[Hospital room]</p>
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<p>KRAMER: That you Bobby?</p>
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<p>BOBBY:<br>
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KRAMER: Well, I heard that you have a very uh, special birthday card .with
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all the Yankee autographs on it.</p>
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<p>BOBBY: Sure do. Mister.</p>
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<p>KRAMER: Oh, that's it, yeah. Boy, Stubs sure went to town with this thing
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huh? Yeah, well, Bobby, uh, what if I told you a very important person
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at the New York Yankees needed this card back. </p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Oh, no. I'd never part with this card for anything in the world.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, uh, Bobby, uh, who's your favorite Yankee.</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Paul O'Neill. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: All right. What if I tell Paul O'Neill to hit a home run tomorrow,
|
|
just for you.</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Would he? Paul O'Neill would do that?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: For you he would.</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Would he hit two home runs?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Two? Sure kid, yeah. But then you gotta promise you'll do something
|
|
for me.</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: I know. Get out of this bed one day and walk again.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, that would be nice. But I really just need this card.</p>
|
|
<p>[Holly's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What about this candelabra?</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Yeah, that was grandma Memma's also. She bought it on her trip
|
|
to Europe in 1936. Jerry, I'm thrilled you like my mutton. I was afrais
|
|
you only ate . . . salad.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey, salad's got nothin' on this mutton.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: That is so funny. Did you just make that up?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I wish I could take credit for it. It's actually the line my butcher
|
|
uses when we're chewing the fat. How about that beautiful desk over there?
|
|
(hides meat in napkin in jacket)</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: That was in Grandma's study.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: What did you do, ransack the place after she died?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: This is some FINE mutton.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I'm getting out of here. Can I borrow your jacket?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh, well, uh the thing is that . . . (Jerry grabs jacket back)</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: It's cold out, and I didn't bring my own. Jerry! God forbid I
|
|
should borrow one from Holly. It might have belonged to grandma Memma.
|
|
Thanks for mutton.</p>
|
|
<p>[On the street - dogs following Elaine]</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Down boy, nice doggy . I'm a nice person. Don't believe what
|
|
you hear.</p>
|
|
<p>[Holly's]</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Where are the napkins?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What?<br>
|
|
HOLLY: Grandma Memma's napkins. There's two missing. Elaine took them
|
|
didn't she?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't know about that. Have you got any floss?</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: You heard her. She coveted them. I bet she took them just to spite
|
|
me. She's probably having a good laugh about it right now. </p>
|
|
<p>[On the street dogs chasing Elaine]</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Down doggy . oh oh a a a a a </p>
|
|
<p>[Jame's apartment]</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Elaine, what are you doing in this neighborhood?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Did you do with the dogs?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah, they're in the kitchen. . . . okay, quite! What's going
|
|
on?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: These dogs were chasing me. And no cab would stop and I had to
|
|
get off the street. Then I remembered that you lived here.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Why were dogs chasing you?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: They just don't like me. It's a long story. I can tell you one
|
|
day but I can't tell you right now. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I would askk you to stay tonight but I only have the sofa bed
|
|
and it's where I sleep. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: We'll have to sleep head to toe. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Head to toe?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Head to toe.</p>
|
|
<p>[The next morning at Jame's]</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Hey, wake up. It's 8:30 you were supposed to walk me up at 7:15.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'm sorry I didn't get any sleep you kept kicking me in the face.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You're a wake up guy. Don't you have calls to make?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I'll make them later. Uh.</p>
|
|
<p>[Mr. Morgan's - he's asleep on the couch]</p>
|
|
<p>[Yankee Stadium - George's office]</p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: Have you seen Morgan?</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: He's not here?</p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: No, He's late.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: It's impossible. I got him a wake up service.</p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: Now, George, you don't have to cover for him any more. He's
|
|
going to be gone soon and I'm going to recommend you for his job.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: . . . gone?</p>
|
|
<p>[Monk's]</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: It sounds like all the winking got you a promotion.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I don't want Morgan's job. He's got a lot of work to do. Hey,
|
|
Elaine, your friend never woke up Mr. Morgan.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Nah, he was tired. He had some feet in his face. My cousin Holly
|
|
is completely insane. She keeps calling and accusing me of stealing her
|
|
napkins. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Napkins?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I mean, why? Why would I take her stupid napkins. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Because they were in the pockets of my jacket. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: They were?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yes. I was using them to spit out the mutton. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Spit it out? I had dogs chasing me for that mutton. I was almost
|
|
mauled because of that mutton. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: What exactly is mutton?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I don't know and I didn't want to find out. So where is my jacket?
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Oh, I must have left it at Jame's </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: You spent the night at James's? Did we?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah but we reversed positions so there was no funny business.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Reversed positions? </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Yeah, you know, head to toe.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: So what your genitals are still lined up. </p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: No, because I slept with my back to him. </p>
|
|
<p>[long pause - no comment from the guys]</p>
|
|
<p>[Yankee Stadium]</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Mr. O'Neill?</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, uh, look, you don't know me.</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: I can give you an autograph there, but my pen's kind of screwed
|
|
up. You'd only like half a "P" or something.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: No, it's uh, not that see,. It's about a little boy in a hospital.
|
|
I was wondering if you could do something to lift his spirits. </p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: Sure, I could help you there. </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Sure, well I promised you would hit him two home runs.</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: Say what?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: You know, Klick!. A couple of dingers.</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: You promised a kid in the hospital that I would hit two home
|
|
runs?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, well, no good?</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: Yeah. That's no good. It's terrible. You don't hit home runs
|
|
like that. It's hard to hit home runs. And where the heck did you get
|
|
two from?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Two is better than one.</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: That, that's ridiculous. I'm not a home run hitter.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, Babe Ruth did it.</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: He did not.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, do you say that Babe Ruth is a liar? </p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: I'm not calling him a liar but he was not stupid enough to promise
|
|
two.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Well, maybe I did overextend myself.</p>
|
|
<p>O'NEILL: How the heck did you get in here anyway?</p>
|
|
<p>[James's]</p>
|
|
<p>JAMES: (on phone) Oh, hi Elaine. You know I lost all of my 6:30 clients
|
|
because of you. . . . Yeah, well why did you have to stick your feet in
|
|
my face? . . . Yes, I have the jacket. Hold on. . . . (to dogs) Fellas!
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>[Hospital]</p>
|
|
<p>TV: The Yankees take the field on a beautiful afternoon.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: It's hot in here. Hey, Bobby, can I have some of your juice?</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: After Paul O'Neill hits his first home run.</p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's]</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: (from buzzer) It's Holly.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Yeah. Come on up.</p>
|
|
<!-- BeginAd02 --><!-- EndAd -->
|
|
<p>TV: And the two and one pitch to O'Neill. A towering shot back to deep
|
|
right field and it's gone.</p>
|
|
<p>[Hospital]</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah.</p>
|
|
<p>TV: A home run for Paul O'Neill. The Yanks lead one nothing.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: OH YEAH! ALL RIGHT!</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: One more to go.</p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's]</p>
|
|
<p>[Holly enters]</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey. What's all this?</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: I decided I was going to make you dinner.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I thought we were going out.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Well, after you scarfed up my mutton I had the irresistible urge
|
|
to make pork chops for you. I said hello to Franco for you. </p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Franco?</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Your butcher, down the street.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I bet he acted aloof like he didn't know me.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: A little.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: That is so Franco.</p>
|
|
<p>[Hospital]</p>
|
|
<p>TV: Bottom of the eighth, score tied at one apiece. Two and one to Paul
|
|
O'Neill.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: You know Bobby, it's very very hard to hit two home runs in one
|
|
game. Even for Paul O'Neill.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: He can do it, Mr. Kramer. I know he can. He'll do it for me.</p>
|
|
<p>TV: "Klick! Long fly ball into deep left field over Bell's head
|
|
. . . O'Neill's rounding second O'Neill going for third, O'Neill rounding
|
|
. . . </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Come on Come on!</p>
|
|
<p>TV: . . . third being waived in.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: GO! GO!!</p>
|
|
<p>TV: . . . Martinez throws it over Alomar's head. O'Neill is safe at home.
|
|
And the Yankees take the lead.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: An In The Park Home Run!</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Yeay!</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: All Right! Yeah, well, I guess I'll be on my way (grabs framed
|
|
card)</p>
|
|
<p>TV: That's being scored a triple for Paul O'Neill with a throwing error
|
|
charged to Martinez.</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Hey, … </p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Huh? </p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: … that's not a home run. (grabs frame)</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Yeah, maybe not technically, but …</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: You said he'd hit two home runs.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Oh, come on. Bobby, Bobby! That's just as good!</p>
|
|
<p>BOBBY: Well, you're not taking that card.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Now, Bobby, Bobby, we had a deal . . . gimme that … </p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's]</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: So, is the chop the way you like it?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: I usually like mine with an angioplasty.</p>
|
|
<p>[stuffs meat in sofa]</p>
|
|
<p>[Elaine enters]</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: You know something really stinks to high h… Holly! What
|
|
are you doing here?</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: What everyone does here. - Cooking pork chops.</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I'm uh, I'm meeting James here. He's bringing over your jacket.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: What about the napkins?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: I didn't take your napkins.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Then who did?</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Ask Jerry.</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: We could argue all night over who took the napkins. The point
|
|
is in today's modern world it just doesn't seem relevant.</p>
|
|
<p>[George's office, Yankee Stadium]</p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: I still want to know what happened to that birthday card? Now,
|
|
Morgan, did you ever sign it? </p>
|
|
<p>MORGAN: No sir, George never gave it to me.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: No, that's right, I didn't. I take full responsibility for the
|
|
card not being here. I, uh, . . . </p>
|
|
<p>[Kramer enters]</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: Hi, </p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: What's this?<br>
|
|
KRAMER: Oh, it's a birthday card.</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: (to George) Oh, by the way, tomorrow night, Paull O'Neill has
|
|
to catch a fly ball in his hat.</p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: George, this is beautiful. Why didn't you tell me you were going
|
|
to have it mounted like this?</p>
|
|
<p>KRAMER: And you were probably just going to stick it in an envelope.</p>
|
|
<p>WILHELM: Ha ha ha ha ha, George, keep up the good work.</p>
|
|
<p>MORGAN: Ha ha, uh, well you screwed me again, Costanza. How am I supposed
|
|
to sign the card now when it's already under glass?</p>
|
|
<p>[Jerry's]</p>
|
|
<p>[James enters with his dogs]</p>
|
|
<p>ELAINE: Uh, this is,…</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Excuse me. What are those dogs wearing?</p>
|
|
<p>JAMES: Oh, bandanas, aren't they cute?</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: You gave Memma's napkins to some dogs?!</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Hey, what happened to my jacket?</p>
|
|
<p>JAMES: Oh, the dogs did that but it wasn't their fault, somebody stuffed
|
|
some strange meat in the pocket.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Was it mutton?</p>
|
|
<p>JAMES: Could have been.</p>
|
|
<p>HOLLY: Do you always stuff meat in your pocket?</p>
|
|
<p>[Dogs climbing on sofa]</p>
|
|
<p>JERRY: Uh, sometimes I use the sofa.</p>
|
|
<p>[Steinbrenner's office]</p>
|
|
<p>[George enters]</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: You wanted to see me, Mr. Steinbrenner?</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: Yes, George, please, come in, come in.</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: Thanks for the card. I loved it. Gosh it made me feel good.
|
|
You know, word has it that you were the brains behind the whole thing.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh, no, not just me, the whole organization. Especially Mr. Morgan.
|
|
</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: Morgan, Morgan, you know his name is conspicuously absent
|
|
from this card. Almost like he went out of his way not to sign it.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Oh no, Morgan is a good man sir.</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: You can stop kowtowing to Morgan. Congratulations, you
|
|
got his job. </p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: Wa, uh, thank you sir, you know I am not quite sure I'm right
|
|
for it.</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: Stop it George, he's out, you're in.</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: A lot more work you know.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I know.</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: A lot more responsibility. Long long hours.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: I know.</p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: Not much more money. But you'll finally get the recognition
|
|
you deserve.</p>
|
|
<p>GEORGE: That's what I'm afraid of. You know Mr. Steinbrenner, . . . </p>
|
|
<p>STEINBRENNER: You know as painfull as it is I had to let a few people
|
|
go over the years. Yogi Berra, Lou Pinella, Bucky Dent, Billy Martin,
|
|
Dallas Green, Dick Houser, Bill Virdon, Billy Martin, Scott Marrow, Billy
|
|
Martin, Bob Lemmon, Billy Martin, Gene Michael, Buck Showalter, …
|
|
uh, tut!, . . .George, you didn't hear that from me. [George exits] .
|
|
. . George!</p>
|
|
<p> </p>
|
|
<p>END
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
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if (bannerRepeat > 0) {
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for (i=1;i<=bannerRepeat;i++) {
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document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBanner" + i + "\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeld-Tshirt-banner-160x2300.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"2300\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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} else if (pageHeight > (headHeight + 300) ) {
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document.write("<a href=\"http://www.shareasale.com/r.cfm?u=439896\&b=119192\&m=16934\&afftrack=seinfeldSideBannerShort\&urllink=search%2E80stees%2Ecom%2Fsearch%3Fpage%3D1%26q%3Dseinfeld%26type%3Dproduct\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"extlink\"><img src=\"images/seinfeldTbanner-160x800.jpg\" align=\"center\" width=\"160\" height=\"800\" alt=\"Best Seinfeld T-shirts\" border=\"0\" /></a>");
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}
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}
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<div class="footer">
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<p>Copyright 2002-2011 SeinfeldScripts.com</p>
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